AN: Sorry guys for the late update, I have been really busy, but I am posting two chapters tonight so hopefully it will make up for it

Ch. 21

I don't deserve this

Babe was staring out her window as the sun rose. She hadn't slept all night, all she had done was thought of what Erica said. How could she have done those horrible things to the people she cared about? She told JR, a man who she could tell loved her deeply, that his own son was dead! And a woman who was supposed to be her best friend, she kept her child willingly.

"I am a horrible person." Babe said into her pillow.

"What did you say?" Bianca asked, walking through the door.

Babe turned over quickly and faced the woman who was standing in her room with a small bag in her hand.

"Who are you?" Babe asked, scared that it was another pissed off citizen of Pine Valley coming to tell Babe more of her horrible deeds.

"Oh, it's ok. Don't be scared. We're friends. I'm Bianca." Bianca said soothingly.

"Oh my god, Bianca. No, we can't be friends, not after what I have done to you." Babe said barely about a whisper.

"Babe what are you talking about?" Bianca questioned.

"I kept your baby from you! I let you believe she was dead! How can you stand there and call me your friend? I am a terrible person for doing something like that!" Babe said forcefully.

"Who told you about what happened?" Bianca asked, knowing that JR hadn't told Babe about her past, and no one else had been here to see her.

"Your mother, Erica Kane. She told me what I had done to you, and JR! How can you two even stand to come near me?" Babe asked Bianca.

"Because we love you Babe. And as for my mother... we didn't want you to find about like that. She usually makes things sound worse than they are."

"How could you make it sound any better? There is no way of sugar-coating what I did to you."

"You're right, there's not. What you did was horrible, but you're not horrible Babe. You're a loving person, and you have to believe me when I say that. If you weren't, and I didn't think that you weren't horrible, would I be standing here right now bring you glazed doughnuts, your favorite kind?"

"No, but I still don't know how you can stand there and say you have forgiven me." Babe said quietly.

"I haven't forgiven or forgotten what you have done, but I'm not letting it get in the way of our friendship."

"How can it not?" Babe asked.

There was a knock on the door, and then JR entered with two cups of coffee from a Starbucks down the road.

"Good morning..." JR stopped when he saw Bianca, "Oh Bianca. If I would have known you were here I would have brought you some coffee. No offense, but you look like you could use some." JR told her.

He looked at both Bianca and Babe, and seeing their troubled expressions, he put down the coffee on a table and asked, "What's wrong?"

"My mother paid a visit to Babe last night." Bianca said grimly.

"What?" JR asked.

"Yeah, and she told me everything I did, and I'm still wondering why you and Bianca are hoping I get better. If I were you guys I would have wanted me to die in that car accident."

"Hey! Don't you say that!" JR said fiercely, walking up to her bed.

"Why not?" Babe asked, looking up into his eyes.

"Because we both love you and would never want that to happen to you. I don't know if Erica told you some of the stuff I have done, but I'm not PV's saint either. We have both done some horrible things, but we have forgiven each other. Don't listen to Erica Kane. She is Pine Valley's biggest bitch... no offense." JR said looking over to Bianca.

"Hey, I would be the first one to say it." Bianca said.

Babe looked from Bianca to JR, "OK, but I'll never understand how..."

"Don't Babe, we have been over this. As far as I'm concerned, this topic is closed."

As soon as Bianca finished her sentence, there was another knock on the door.

"Oh, Hello everyone. I didn't know everyone would be here." Babe's doctor walked into the room.

"How is everything looking?" JR asked.

"Everything is going good. Have you regained any memories?" Dr. Martinez asked Babe.

Babe shook her head, "Not one."

"OK, I said we were going to wait 24 hours to see if any memories would return, and they haven't. There is a drug called Amytal, also known as sodium amobarbital. It's a relatively new treatment. The medicine is supposed to help you recall your lost memories. Now this medicine does indeed work, but it depends solely on the person who it is being given to. It may work for you Babe, or it may not. Right now we just have to cross our fingers." Dr. Martinez explained.

"There are some side effects, like drowsiness and dizziness, but that's to be expected and of no worry because you aren't going any where. But the other side effects may include headaches, weakness, grogginess, and/or dreaming. These effects should disappear once your body adjusts to medication. Now Babe, this is up to you. Do you want to take this drug?" Dr. Martinez asked.

Babe looked at both JR and Bianca's hopeful faces and said, "I don't deserve this."

"Babe, you do. You deserve happiness more than anyone I know, and this drug might help you achieve that." Bianca said.

Babe sighed, and still looked unsure.

JR walked up to the other side of the bed and grabbed her hand, "I know you don't believe us Babe, but please do this. We need you. Please do it, for me?" JR begged.

Babe looked into his eyes and saw the pain, and fear, and knew what she had to do. She looked at the Doctor and nodded.

"Good, OK let me just clean this area up." Dr. Martinez cleaned a spot on her arm and checked and made sure there were no air bubbles in the syringe.

"OK, you ready?" He asked.

Babe nodded, and he inserted the needle. Babe winced in pain, and then the doctor removed the needle.

"OK, it will probably put you to sleep within a few minutes, and then it will take about 30 minutes to an hour to work."

Babe nodded, and then yawned.

"See, its already working. Soon you'll have your memories back." JR said, kissing her hand.

Babe turned and looked at him, "Stay with me, please?"

JR looked down and smiled, "Of course."

The Doctor turned and said to JR and Bianca, "I need to talk to you two for a second. I promise they will be right back Babe."

She nodded and JR and Bianca followed the Doctor to the door.

"Listen, I need you to keep an eye out for nosebleeds, difficulty breathing, and when she wakes up if she complains about chest pains or confusion. These are some of the more serious side effects and I need to know about them if they occur, OK?"

"Of course, Doctor, we will keep a good eye on her." Bianca said.

"There are some other things to worry about. If this treatment works and brings back her memories, they will play over again in her mind, and to her they will be real."

"So what, she will relive everything again? Like with the feelings and everything?" JR asked.

"Yes, and since I know her past has been anything but easy, it may be hard on her." The Doctor informed them.

JR nodded and then walked back over to Babe's bed while Bianca finished talking with the doctor.

"Night, JR." Babe said sleepily.

"Goodnight baby." JR kissed her head, and she closed her eyes to sleep, having no idea what she was about to go through.