Disclaimer: The song "I Don't Want To Be" and respective lyrics is copyright to Gavin Degraw. I don't own Pokemon, Satoshi Tajiri does. The rest of this fic is original material written by me. Copyright 2005.
Chapter 3 – UneaseAges:
Ash: -18
Misty: - 18
OoOoOoOMisty wasn't sure about how much impact her present had on Ash. She mulled over the possibilities as she brushed her now-brunette tresses. She was glad she had only decided on a temporary change of colour, already the brown was slightly fading, yet the effect that this had was not entirely pleasing to the eye.
She was sure that there had been a glimmer of a reaction from him, and for that she was glad. It was not the response she wanted nor craved, yet it was a positive sign nonetheless.
However, a sense of unease had begun to settle itself inside her, and she found herself raising the question of whether it was the right way to go about bringing Ash closer to her. Was it possibly the wrong approach? Could it end in sadness and defeat? She hoped not…
To top things off, she has running out of ideas. There were only so many ways to make a guy notice you, after all…and if that certain guy was slightly dense, then it required extra effort and thought. However, she did not mind this, as Ash meant so much to her, and this…this made it all worthwhile.
I
don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be
lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of
mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got
to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything
other than me…
The house once again seemed to be in a deserted state, and Ash saw this as another opportune time to continue with his project. He kept an eye and an ear out for signs of movement – of Misty.
He carefully pulled out everything he needed to continue with his project, and set to work. He did not only want to make this for her as a present, but he also hoped that this would make her see…he felt his cheeks take on a tinge of red just at the thought. That maybe…she could see…what he was trying to tell her without words. But to do that…would be difficult.
Ash meticulously continued, covering the backing with photo after photo, all of which depicted happy memories for him, of sharing his pokemon journey with Misty.
Finally nearing its completion, Ash took out a thick purple texta and carefully scrawled a number of carefully selected words along the bottom of the frame. Finally, he slipped the backing once again into the frame, and stood back, admiring his handiwork. Pleased with how it turned out, he slipped it once again under his bed, and flopped back on top of his matress . He hoped she liked it…he hoped she would accept it…accept him…
I'm surrounded by
liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I
turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
Am I
the only one who noticed?
I can't be the only one who's learned…
"She deserves to be happy…" he thought, "more than anything. And all I hope for is that this will make her happy."
It had been difficult, battling with himself, and with his feelings, for Misty. He almost wished he could deny them still, for fear that what he was about to do would end things on a sour note between them, if she did not return his feelings. That would pain him more than anything. If all that this resulted in was a bitter end, a torn friendship, an irreparable companionship…he didn't know what he would do if he botched this up.
He would do it this afternoon. He didn't know how it would be possible to put it off even another day.
OoOoOoOMisty was fresh out of ideas. And she had only carried out two of them! What a pathetic result. Neither had resulted in Ash becoming any closer to her, it didn't leave him feeling the way she did. No matter what she tried, it seemed as if Ash would never notice. He hadn't even worn the pin she bought him! Come to think of it, he hadn't even mentioned it…
She sat on the edge of her bed, a single tear trailing down the edge of her cheek. It was impossible…she was a failure…and being without Ash had become to her, like being without oxygen.
Everything about him….from his eyes to his smile, to his cheekiness and his stubbornness, from his iron will, and his refusal to give up…it made her feel for him all the more. And here she was, all alone, just as she had always been. Her sisters had never given her the time of day; they had placed insults and mockery upon her, which weighed her down, which brought her closer to the ground with each word. Ash was the one who had incessantly been there for her, through the good times, and the bad, through the thick and the thin. He was the one who had allowed her to build herself up, to keep herself strong.
And to lose all that…to lose him…
All because she couldn't catch his eye, nor his heart.
I
don't want to be
Anything other than what I've been trying to be
lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have peace of
mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got
to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything
other than me…
Ash took what little courage he had, and put it to good use. It would take an awful lot more than what he possessed to carry out this. But he knew that this was not a time to procrastinate, it was a time for action.
He bent down to retrieve what he had so carefully pieced together. He knelt down next to his bed, about to reach under, when the smallest of black velvet pouches caught his eye. Curious, he reached down, and carefully picked it up, as if he already knew it was something delicate, precious, and of worth. Untying the string that held it closed, he pulled out a tiny pin. It glimmered in the afternoon sunlight, shiny and gold, a miniature sleeping pikachu.
"Where could this have cone from?"He paused, for a moment, confused. "Misty's present to me…it must have fallen off my bed when I wasn't looking…"He took the gift, and carefully pinned it to the front of his infamous pokemon league cap. He would wear it as a sign that he did appreciate what she did, he did appreciate her…even though he was going to reveal that to her, among other things…
OoOoOoO
End of chapter 3! Thanks to Linkin-Phoenix, SweetStories11, Scribblez, Sykilik101, kikyoreborn9295, and KCB for reviewing chapter 2. You guys rock:)
SE