She had come to reach three conclusions. Either:
1. This Rowling lady was a very nosy witch.
2. Someone was giving her information. (And was also very nosy)
3. A witch or wizard was somehow implanting these ideas into her head.
Hermione neither knew nor cared. What she did know was that Lauren was staring at her like she was insane. And what she did care about was a Muggle girl being suspicious.
Hermione thought about simply erasing Lauren's memory, but something stopped her.
She weighed her options. "Lauren," she said finally. "Follow me."
Hermione led Lauren into the girl's restroom at the library, the one place where she
didn't have to whisper, but could have some privacy. "Can you keep a secret"
Hermione asked.
"Sure," Lauren replied.
Hermione took a deep breath. "The girl in the book is me. I'm a witch."
Lauren stared at Hermione blankly and then did what most of us would do in this situation: she cracked up.
"A witch, huh?" Lauren laughed out. "Well where's your 'magic wand'?"
Hermione pulled out her wand.
"Use it, then," Lauren commanded.
"I can't use magic in front of a Mug…unmagical person," Hermione said, correcting herself before she said the word "Muggle," which, as it turns out, is a derogatory word for unmagical folk that dates back to the late 1700's. Nobody knows or cares what it actually means, but that's not the point. What the point is… is that it's just rude.
"Alright," Lauren said. She thought a moment. "Let's go somewhere else."
A few minutes later, Hermione and Lauren were sitting on a bench at a nearby park.
Hermione told Lauren everything: about the Chamber of Secrets, Sirius Black, the
Triwizard Tournament, Voldemort coming back, the prophecy, and everything up to
Dumbledore's death and her breakup with Ron.
Lauren was silent for a moment. Then she spoke. "Well, it's not exactly how I would've
ended things. I would've killed off Harry Potter, made at least one of the Slytherins
good, and would've had someone else go off his rocker and kill Dumbledore, but, hey,
whatever you say. Oh, and I would've had Hogwarts blow up in the end. That be cool."
"But do you believe me?" Hermione asked, now slightly disturbed.
"Sure," Lauren said. "Just answer one question for me, alright?"
"Okay…" Hermione said.
"Is it just me, or does this Potter boy's scar look like a chicken wing?"
Hermione smiled. "No, it's not just you."
The two girls giggled even more than they had over making fun of the film they'd seen earlier that day. And that World had Turned pretty slowly.
"So, when are you going to erase my memory?" Lauren asked excitedly.
"What?" Hermione questioned.
"Well, you did just tell a, um, what was it, 'Muggle' girl about the wizarding world and all that," Lauren pointed out. "And you know I'm certainly going to blab it to all my friends."
Hermione shook her head. "I'm not going to erase your memory, Lauren. I've always thought that Mug... your kind have a right to know about us." She paused. "But if you can't keep your mouth shut about this, at least let me meet your friends. Okay?"
Lauren nodded. "Deal."
Hermione and Lauren arranged to meet the next day at noon. Now, there were two things that Hermione noticed about Lauren's house when she got there:
1. It was very rundown, shabby, crummy, etc.
2. There were more books than in the Hogwarts library, which was delightful.
What she really noticed was that Lauren had some very odd friends. There were six of them, each very different and a bit stranger than the last.
Hermione was introduced to each one individually.
"I'm Jesse," a tall, black girl said. "And I have NEVER seen hair that puffy on a white girl."
"I'm Garry," an Asian boy said. "And I'm Korean, not Chinese. And I don't know karate or any other type of martial arts."
"I'm Kelsey," a girl with curly, black hair said. "And whoa, mama! Your hair's even poofier than mine!"
"I'm Jared," a skinny boy with glasses said. "And I'd rather be playing video games right now than being at this stupid introduction."
"I'm Leslie," a small, blonde girl said. "Maths are hard."
"Garcia, Billy," a dorky boy with an army helmet said. "And what Leslie just said made no sense, Ma'am!"
"I'm Lauren," Lauren said unnecessarily. "And ya'll do realize that this isn't an AA meeting, right?"
"Whatever," Kelsey said.
This time, it was Hermione's turn to speak up. "I'm Hermione, and I'm a witch," she stated clearly.
"With a 'B'?" Jesse asked.
"Bwitch?" Leslie asked curiously.
"Yes," Kelsey said, "She's a bwitch, Barbie."
Two hours later, Hermione had explained everything. Three hours later, she had managed to convince everyone that she wasn't crazy. Four hours later everyone thought she was crazy again. But five hours later, they were convinced of her sanity once more.
"Wait a minute," Kelsey said. "How are we supposed to keep in touch with you while you're at, um, Pigwarts? Or is this a goodbye?"
"E-mail?" Jared suggested.
"Owl," Hermione corrected.
"Where do we get an owl?" Jesse asked. "I mean, we 'Muggle' thingys don't have owl shops on every street. Or any street."
Hermione thought for a minute. "Tomorrow, we'll go and get an owl for you all."
"Ya'll," Kelsey corrected.
"For ya'll," Hermione said.
"Hey," Leslie said. "Do you think you could get me a date with Harry Potter?"
"Um, no," Hermione said.
"Why not?" Leslie persisted.
Hermione replied, "Um, because he's, uh, gay. Yes, that's right. He's gay." Well, she had to make up something! Besides, Harry had been looking at Ron a little differently lately.
"Hey, do you think you could get me a date with Dumbledore?" Jesse asked.
"Probably not. He's sort of dead. And rotting," Hermione replied.
"Could you hook me up with Professor McGonagall?" Jared asked. "I've always liked older women."
"I seriously hope you're joking," Hermione answered.
"What about..." Kelsey began.
"NO!" Hermione yelled.
"Oh, all right. Fine," Kelsey said.
They were silent for a moment.
"Hey!" Kelsey began, "Does this mean that Frodo from the Lord of the Rings is real,
too?"
Hermione replied, "I honestly don't know."
"What about the Narnia Chronicles?"
"I really don't know."
"What about Star Wars?"
"I'm telling you, I don't know."
"What about..."
"Listen, Kelsey, I DON'T KNOW," Hermione said. "I think I should go for now. Lauren,
call me tomorrow."
"Alright," Lauren said.
As Hermione exited, she had one thought on her mind: "Well, at least they're more normal than kind-of-sort-of werewolves and moping/rampaging/maybe-gay Harry."