Chapter 17

"Hm, that's simply odd…." Hermione said as she entered the small kitchen where Harry and Ron were playing a game of chess that seemed to last for ages. It was the first time the three of them had been able to spend time together since the Order had found Snape half dead. Ron had been too busy tending to his every need, Hermione was busy making potions and such to help heal him, and Harry was just lounging about trying to find any way to help he could. Most of the time with little success.

"What's that, Mione?" Harry asked seeming as if he was concentrating very hard on the board in front of him. He knew he was going to lose again but he had to draw it out and make it look like he had some sort of a chance after all. "Ok, fine, checkmate, you win….again."

"He always wins, Harry. Anyway the odd thing was that I saw Professor Snape brewing the Wolfsbane potion but he was using twice as much of the ingredients. He's making a double batch for some reason." She said as she took a seat next to Ron.

"Maybe he's still a bit out of it from whatever they did to him while they had him locked up in their secret hide out." Harry suggested as he reset the board for another match.

"Harry, I don't think that's what it is. He seems to be doing quite well for what he went through. Could there be another werewolf in the order that we don't know about?" She questioned.

"I don't think…."

"Yes… There is another one here." Ron finally spoke up cutting Harry off in mid-sentence.

"What? Who?" Hermione asked feeling slightly bad she was out of the loop on this one.

"Severus." The red head muttered before dropping his head in his hands.

"You called?" A voice from the door asked which made the three of them jump and turn to face the voice. "Forgive me. Was this a private conversation?"

"Not really, Professor Snape. How are you feeling today?" Hermione said trying to cover the fact she had been startled by his sudden appearance.

"I'm tired to say the least." He replied as he made his way over to the couch they were sitting on. Hermione quickly stood to let Snape take her seat next to Ron. "Thank you."

Without hesitation Ron moved as close to the potions master as he could, resting his head on the older mans shoulder. "I hate him and I hope he dies slowly and…." His sentence was cut off by Snapes hand resting gently over the red heads mouth.

"Don't say that. There is no reason for you to become as horrible as I am." The Slytherin said as he rested his head on top of the one on his shoulder.

"Would you like us to leave, sir?" Harry broke in as he stood up and moved away from the couch a bit.

"No, Potter, you actually have to hear what I came in here to say." The potions master said without looking away from the spot on the wall he had his eyes fixed on. "The two of you have to be sure that Ron does not come anywhere near my room tonight. Your very scent would make staying locked up in my room alone completely unbearable."

"You expect me to just sit in my room and hope that he doesn't try to hurt you again? I'm not doing it I'll sit right outside your door with my wand drawn all night before I'll let him near you again." Ron said before Snape could shush him again.

"We'll do what we can, sir. You have my word on that." Hermione said as she gave Ron an apologetic look.

"No! You won't tell me what to do! Any of you!" The red head stated as he stood up and walked out of the room. Who did they think they were trying to control his life like that? Didn't he have any say in the way things were going to be from now on?

"He'll be alright. He just doesn't understand everything right now. Ron has been really, very worried about you." Hermione said as she placed a hand on Snapes shoulder.

Severus merely dropped his eyes to the floor in front of him not sure how to respond to anything that was happening recently. Harry sighed loudly and shook his head. "Why would Remus want to do any of this?" He asked keeping his eyes fixed on the wall.

"I suppose it's because…" Snape was quickly cut off.

"Because of what he thinks he deserves. Because he is a selfish bastard. Because …because of me. This is all my fault no matter how much you try to convince me otherwise, Severus. If it weren't for me then he would have gotten what he wanted and you'd be just fine now." Ron said from the doorway with tears flowing freely down his face. "Maybe you should just give him what he wants…."

"He will never have what he truly wants. What he tried to get by turning me. I've already explained this to you and taken care of that problem." The potions master replied somewhat angry.

"Ron calm down….We'll figure all of this out I promise." Hermione said trying to calm them both with the statement.

"No, there is no 'figuring this out'. There is only one thing that can be done so let me help you with it….."

"Ron, if you want me to leave you alone all you have to do is ask it of me and I would gladly oblige. I never meant for this to happen and I never meant for you to get stuck in the middle something like this." Snape said trying to keep himself from shouting.

The red head simply stared back at him for a moment. "Severus….."

"No, I think it would be best that way. I've decided that I shall now give up the one thing I ever truly wanted just so poor Lupin can have what he thinks he deserves. Do not worry, Mr. Weasley, I shall never impose upon you and your life again. Might I suggest, however that you find someone who is fully deserving of everything you have to offer and spend the rest of your life making one another happy. Now, if you need nothing more with this worthless old man I will be in my room awaiting the rather large amount of pain which I will be enduring within a few hours." The Slytherin said before walking quickly out of the room and, a moment later, the three of them heard a door slam loudly.

"I..I got to talk to my mum.." Ron said as he walked quickly from the room.

A few hours later there was a light knock on the door where Ron, Harry and Hermione spent most of their time while in Sirius' old house. Slowly Hermione pulled the door open knowing exactly who was there before she even looked. "He's not here, Professor. He talked to his mom and he's decided to move to Romania with his brother for the rest of the summer. I'm so sorry, sir."

"I see. Probably all for the best." Snape said as he turned then left the house without a backwards glance.

No one saw him again until the start of their seventh year. A year which Ronald Weasley did not attend Hogwarts, but instead remained with his brother in Romania. It only took Snape a few weeks to convince himself that it was all for the best. Convinced himself that the feelings he thought he had were only some twisted delusion that was fueled by infatuation. He even managed to convince himself that he would never have to bare the pain of looking upon the youngest Weasley boy ever again. And that's how he lived every day reminding himself of those three things.