-1Note to readers: Check out my other story, Harry Potter and the PomPom of Doom!

Lord of the Remix

Chapter 1

Haha

It was not too long before the infamous trio were back on their feet and hiking towards the next town. I mean, how long could they go without food and water. Not that there weren't squirrels for the eating, but Legolas was a vegetarian and he needed to be fed. I know what you're thinking. Why doesn't he just eat grass? And you know what I'm thinking? That you need to stop thinking and start reading more of my story. And, as I was saying before you distracted me with your thoughts, they were walking to the town…

"I'm tired," moaned Gimli, twirling his beard

"Are we there yet?" asked Legolas

"Owww!" yelped Gimli as he tried to undo the knot he had just created in his beard.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" laughed the elf

"Die, pointy ears!"

The two began to pull each other's hair silently as to not tick of Aragorn. Speaking of Aragorn, he was walking at a determined pace, keeping his face forward. He made a deliberate effort to not look at the bickering buddies, but it was still getting to him. As Strider walked, he grinded his teeth. Grindgrindgrindgrindgrindgrind.

It was not long before the even tempered ranger began to turn red. Grindgrindgrindgrindgrind. Oh yeah, I forgot. Turns red turns red red red redder! Eventually, the dueling duo began to notice their companion's discomfort at their squabbling. So, they stopped and meekly let go of one another's hair. They were uncomfortably silent for a while, until Legolas thought of one thing that could cheer up his pal.

I know what you're thinking. Yes, I am psychic, don't ask me again. AND STOP DISTURBING ME WITH YOUR THOUGHTS! Where was I? Oh yeah, I know what you're thinking. There is only one thing that LOTR characters do when they are: pissed, bored, tired, hungry, dyeing, and when in doubt. They sing a song. And so, our little Legolas begins to sing.

"Here's a song they sing in my country when we are ticked off because two of our best buds are fighting and we are all hungry tired bored angry have been running for days on end and are furious because we have no clue what happened to Frodo! And now I shall sing!" Legolas said happily, though the other two had tuned out at "Here's a song"

"Hooble blach and hooble blay

Water horses 'n give 'em hay

Ride 'em till they're gonna drop

Drink that beer till you're gonna pop

For when there are orcs to slay

Nobody may rest, 'kay?

To slay and kill, to torture and slew

To chop, mutilate, and run through

We gonna kill every orc

And use them as a substitute for pork

Aragorn do not despair

You can always pull Gimli's hair!"

"Hey!" called Gimli.

But, Aragorn's complexion was already pink and on its way to his normal skin tone. Which, I hope, was not pink.

The moral of the chapter: When in doubt, SING!