Hi. Read this.

:waits patiently for more:

Um... that's all.

That's it? That can't be it! It's an author note! Come on, what do you want to tell the masses?

I'm new to this! And besides, like these so-called masses actually read the author notes.

Fine then.

What are you doing here anyway? This is my chapter!

I'm your Beta, therefore I get special priviledges.

You spelled privileges wrong. Some Beta.

Hey, at least I fixed your horrible punctuation and capitalization issues!

Pfft. Be gone, foolish mortal!

:sniffle: I feel unloved...

Cry little beh-beh!

Bite me.

"Okay all I hafta do is get one of those screenname thingies Prongsie is always going on about," Sirius thought to himself while sneaking into James bedroom and turning on his computer.

"Erm… now what?" Sirius wondered after clicking through a million Windows startup popups, "It was something like click or hit or AIM! Wha… aha! That's the one!"

After finally finding what he was looking for, Sirius started to think long and hard (very unusual for him) about what the perfect screenname would be. Finally he suddenly burst into a grin having found a stroke of creative genius.

"Padfoot," he breathed, typing it in and feeling very pleased with himself.

"What do you mean Padfoot is TAKEN! Who would take the name Padfoot, I'm the only bloody Padfoot! What is wrong with you, you stupid….NO I don't want P2dft031875! That doesn't even remotely resemble Padfoot!"

Unfortunately Sirius forgot that he was supposed to be 'quiet' as so to not arouse anyone to his plan. Now he swore he heard footsteps on the stairs and was forced to duck under James bed. After he was sure the intruder had given up and left, Sirius came out with a three-month-old sandwich on his head, the world's dirtiest sock on his shoulder, a picture of Lily attached to his shoe, and something incredibly sticky seeping through his shirt.

Sirius took a bite of the sandwich and went back to work.

"Password?" Sirius grinned, "Well that's easy SiriusBlackIsTheHottestGuyToEverGraceTheWorldWith---TOO LONG!

"But that's my password for everything else," Sirius whined. "How am I supposed to remember anything different?"

After finally settling on just plain SiriusIsHott, Sirius proceeded to fill out the rest of the screen with random answers.

He was actually doing just fine till he got to the bottom of the page where he saw, "Please verify that you are a human."

"Oh no…" Sirius proclaimed wide-eyed. "This won't end well."

"How am I supposed to read this stupid thing? There's lines running all over the letters and - oh God, is that a four or a nine? I'm so confused…" Sirius complained.

Finally after thinking he had gotten everything right, Sirius clicked ENTER. What came next woke the entire house.

"I AM A BLOODY HUMAN! You stupid, stupid comfoofter!" Sirius screamed grabbing the closest thing and beating the computer severely with it.

Unfortunately, the closest thing to the computer was a stuffed Carebear with a voicebox that immediately started to talk due to the brutal pounding it was receiving.

"ETERNAL-It's such a sunshiney day!-DAMNATION-Full of rainbows and butterflies!-ON YOUR-Show me that smile!-SOUL!"

What followed next sounded a little something like this… "You're my beary best frieaaaaaddcklahrfewaburn-sputter-sputter" As the poor little Carebear's head popped off and went flying across the room.

"Bugger," Sirius said, finally calming down. "That was Peter's favorite too…"

Yaaaay! Snaps for Rachel. Ooh, guess what! I'm writing the next chapter! The Marauders vs. a Microwave.

Shoo! Get out of my chapter with your shameless self-promotion!