Start talking, fruitcup.

Well that's incentive for me to talk to you.

I thought so.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... oops, sorry, I was spinning around in my chair again.

Nice.

Rachel was supposed to write this chapter, but I ended up finishing my Harry/Luna fic sooner than I thought, so I'll be writing it. (Psst! Go read it! "Right" by ChocoTaco!)

No shame...

Damn straight. So, this idea occurred to us while we were having a random conversation and we just had to write it.

This is one of Kaci's brilliant strokes of creativity. I'm just here to look pretty.

We apologize profusely for how long it took to update! We just started high school.

Uuuuggggh… stupid bloody Tuesday.

It's been... what's the word I'm looking for?

Evil? Terrible? An abomination?

Hmm… actually, I was going to go with crabolocker fishwife, but that works too.

Hehehehehe…

So, here's the chapter! Just imagine James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter are using a quill that writes everything they say.

James's font

Sirius's font

Remus's font

Peter's font
And now, the Marauders shall answer the age-old question:

What are friends for?

1. Friends are for covering you in raspberry jam and shoving you into the lake.

Oh, I remember when you did that to poor Moony, the giant squid was beside himself.

Herself, James, herself.

How do you know?

She was quite friendly, and that's all I have to say about that.

Er… right then. Moving right along.

2. Friends are for telling you to hold a disco karaoke dance party in the middle of the common room when you've had too much to drink.

I shall never forgive you for that one.

I thought it was lovely – OW! Padfoot, what was that for?

For being a fruit.

3. Friends are for coming up with a believable excuse when you've gotten your sorry arse in trouble once again.

Moony, we owe you so much.

WE LOVE YOU MOONY!

Oh don't you kiss my ass. It shall get you nowhere.

Awww…

4. Friends are for transfiguring moose antlers onto your head without knowing how to remove them.

Oh, that was fun, wasn't it Wormtail?

Depends on your definition of fun. If by fun you mean not being able to fit through doorways because of the abnormal growths on your noggin and having you lot hang you wet laundry from my head, then yes.

5. Friends are for helping you make an arse of yourself.

Quite literally, he means.

Oh, whose idea was it to transfigure Prongsy's face to look like a bum?

Mine. But we were going to do it on Snivellus, remember? But then you turned my own genius against me…

Oh, quit pretending to cry, Prongs. You were the one who suggested we try it on someone else to practice first!

Yeah, Jimmy, it didn't look like much of a difference anyway – OW!

Oh my…

Erm... due to some…technical difficulties…

ARRRRRGH!

The technical – OUCH – difficulties being that I'm beating Padsy here – URGH – severely about the head and neck.

GET OFF! GET OFF, OR I'LL –

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Holy hobbits...

Oh no, not the chair! Don't you – BOLLOCKS!

OH YEAH! SCHMACKED! TAKE THAT, FANCYPANTS!

Fancypants?

Yes, Fancypants! Got a problem with that?

As a matter of fact, I do! My pants are not fancy!

Sure they are, Jimbo! You've got the fanciest pants this side of… er… some landmark!

Very eloquent.

Thank you.

Now, if you two are done, may we continue?

Sure, why not. What number were we on? Seventeen?

Six.

Oh. Close enough

6. Friends are for telling Lily nice things about you.

What? We never do that!

Well, I think you should start. Right now.

I tried that once, but you hexed me!

That was because you told her that I enjoyed piña coladas and getting caught in the rain!

But… but it worked in that Muggle song!

I thought it was suave.

Well, your opinions of suave are nothing to go by. Hey! No rude hand gestures are necessary.

7. Friends are for mooching off of your homework.

Again I say, WE LOVE YOU MOONY!

Well, we let you mooch off of our gold, so I think it's fair.

Hmph.

Awwww, poor ickle pouting Wolfie!

Cram it.

Psh. Bite me.

You might regret that.

8. Friends are for… oh, what the hell, I'm bored! Let's go DO SOMETHING!

Oh no, he's got that evil glint in his eye…

I know not of what you speak!

Oh, there he goes again, bouncing out of the room, we'd better stop him before he lights Snape on fire like last time…

That's all! Go home!