Took some time, expect updates to be less frequent during summer. Anyhow, thanks a lot to everyone who reviewed, here comes some response:
Doctor Daiguri: It's REE-DICILOUS allright! Anyway, thanks a bunch for reading.:runs away, chased by a watermelon:
Zelda's Fox 38:picks upp you from ground: There there. Thank you for reading, fear the revenge of the suntan lotion! Soon on theatres close by.
The King of No Pants: This story's end is far away, and looking at how much I generally stray from the plot, it will be looooong. I mean, what are they even doing at a marathon:slaps self:
Hells assassin: Oh, Sheena isn't out of the game yet… Scroll down and you'll see what she does.
Cara: You don't like Regal! Well, hope you like him DW-style. I personally thought they should have made him German, sleepy and such.
CKO: Yuans outfit is the coolest! Seriously! I agree.
KratosFan: They are idiots, all of them! Colette is annoying, but due to the fact that her fans are really strong and usually beat me up, I can't kill her in this fic. Sorry.
Manu: Uh, I speak Swedish, English and German but unfortunately not French. Vive Lloyd means something like Go Lloyd, am I right? Je'taime for reading this story. (I love you for reading this story… Or was I horribly wrong? It's hard to guess, you know)
InuKratosStan: Yeah, you have an account! HOORAY! Let's have a PART-AY!
Anyway, that is all of reviewers response and randomness, hereby entitled RRR. Let us move on!
And BTW, sorry for this chapter were the randomness goes extreme! I'll fix it until next one, I promise.
-Celebrity Insanity- Issue 112-
Name: Presea Combatir
Age: It varies alot. ((Hmpf, yeah right))
Weight: Axe included, 1/2 ton. ((Wow, that girl's heavier than she appears to be))
Occupation: Drummer and not-really-that-talkative person of The Chosen.
Instrument of choice: One Giant Drum Set. OGDS v 2.0 with X9C hi-hats.
Pets: No.
Favourite possession: Axe. Smells really good.
Last thing you bought: Oh, I don't buy stuff.
Favourite band member: Umm, Genis. And that's only because it rhymes with...uh, Teenies!
Favourite movie: What is a...movie?
Favourite book: What is a...book?
What do I do in 10 years: I've probably cleaned my room by then. I was supposed to do that last week.
Motto: Um, I like waffles?
-Thank you, Presea Combatir, have a great life and bye bye and goodnight and whatever-
"So bring me news of the band, Shackles" Yuan said, lying on his belly while Regal applied sun-lotion to his back. "Or I'll turn your life into a living..."
"What?"
"You know what! A living...you know."
"A living room?" Regal looked puzzled. "I have two, but I guess another one won't hurt."
"Not that, idiot! A living...You know, a living and then an H-word. That's what I'll make of your life if you don't obey me."
"There's a lot of words that begin with H." Regal said, with a dreaming expression on his face. "For example: Hair, hurt, head, hi, havoc, hypocrite, hold, heart, hallo, hillbilly, hurl, hinge, hands, hangover..."
-Three hours later-
"...homerun, half-past-nine and Hadoken. So which one is it?"
"According to the Renegade Codex, I'm not allowed to swear" Yuan mumbled. "I am allowed to say: Moths, ... , Exsphere, inferior beings and inferior beings. But you know, the H-word. Like when you say go to..."
"Go to Hima?" Regals face looked like a replica of a question mark. "Go to...hair?"
"You are hopeless, Shackles" Yuan sighed.
"Indeed." Regal answered.
"Apply some on the neck too, please."
"Indeed."
"Can you stop saying indeed all the time?"
"Indeed."
"YOU'RE HOPELESS!"
"Indeed."
While Regal wasted time massaging Yuan, Colette and her backpack Lloyd had almost reached the top.
"I AM WINNING!" Lloyd yelled in thriump. "Er, I mean, we're winning Colette!"
"Yup, almost..."
Suddenly, Colette froze. Something yellow flew by her. Her eyes sparkled.
"A...butterfly!" She reached out her arms. "A BUTTERFLY!"
"Colette, no!" Lloyd screamed. "Bad butterfly!"
"Pretty butterfly..." Colette said in a trance-like condition. "Come to Colette..."
"GAH, I WAS SO CLOSE TO WIN, AND THEN YOU BEGIN TO CHASE BUTTERFLIES!" Lloyd yelled, and decided to abandon the ship.
Sure, the edge of the roof wasn't more than twenty meters away. He could easily make it if the wind conditions were right, if a sudden burst of air miraculously would lift him up, if his arms suddenly would transform into wings, if the sun would instantly fall down and if, but just if, he'd have his room cleaned til Friday.
That's what he thought. He did jump, but didn't reach very far.
"Victory, here I come!" He yelled while in mid-air. And then he fell.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH….hack…cough…wheeze….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH…..BANG! OUCH!"
While Colette was chasing butterflies, and Lloyd was falling towards ground at high speed, Sheena was just recovering from her fall.
She was lying on the beach.
"She's waking up!" Someone said, followed by a OOOOH.
Sheena opened her eyes. A bunch of drooling, male tourists stood around her and watched her closely.
"What the hell are you looking at!" Sheena yelled and got on her feet.
"Guess, oh lovely one!"
"Are you the heirs of Zelos, or what! Get lost or I'll unleash my powerful ninja techs!"
"Oh, she's even more beautiful when she's angry…" They said, dreamingly.
"I'm serious, guys!" Sheena shouted and drew her cards. "I can make toast of you in no time."
KLING!
"Gah, my leg!"
THUMP!
"Ouch, my stomach!"
SMOCK!
"My teeth!"
BLAM!
"Urgh! MY EYES!"
KA-CHING!
"Hey, a nickel!"
BANG!
Sheena used a smoke bomb, and headed for the hotel covered by the smoke. There was still a chance for her to win, but that required some cheating.
But, in order to be victoriuos, all means are allowed. Even if it includes illegal abuse of Summon Spirits.
Or?
A knock was heard.
"Who is it?" Yuan asked. He was sitting in an armchair, zipping on a delicious Pina Colada. Regal had left, realizing that he was after all participating in a marathon. He would request that 30 minutes would be subtracted from his total time, after all he had been occupied doing something else during those 30 minutes. Then you can't count them, can you?
Back to Yuan, who rather not wanted to get up from his comfortable chair.
"Who is it?" He repeated and turned his head towards the door.
"It's me, Botta" The voice, obviously belonging to just Botta, replied.
"I'm coming!" Yuan said, excited to finally meet his old friend again. He got up from the chair, and screamed in pain. "MY SUNBURN!"
Ignoring the extreme pain which spread like a malignant fungus over his body, he walked over to the door and opened it.
Botta stood outside, dressed in a brown, expensive suit. He had a black briefcase in one of his hands, and he had his usual I've-been-electrified hairstyle.
"Botta…How unusual clothing…Er, what brings you here?" Yuan asked, trying to smile. His face muscles didn't react at all, since they were all dead.
"I am a salesman and I wish to sell insurance."
"What? I already have all the necessary insurance, Botta. Why don't you come in and talk for a while? It's been so long since…"
"I wish to sell insurance" Botta repeated in a monotone voice.
"I have all the insurance I need, Botta" Yuan said again. "Now…"
"Aha, but I bet you don't have insurance against people who SELL insurance, am I right?"
"Uh, that of course, but…"
Botta smiled and began rambling again.
"Don't you just hate it when those insurance agents come knocking on your door, forcing you to buy all sorts of un-necessary insurance? Just buy our insurance against insurance agents and you will be perfectly insured against them! We really hate those awful, non-stop talking insurance sellers, so now we offer YOU a way to stop them!"
Yuan closed the door, and opened it again, just to make sure that he wasn't dreaming. Botta was standing there, still smiling.
"Allright, Botta, I'm sorry, but I do not wish to buy any insurance against insurance or whatever it was. Goodbye."
With that, Yuan closed the door.
"You'll be sorry when those insurance agents come!" Botta yelled. "YOU'LL BE SORRY!"
He sighed, and sat down in his chair again. Took another zip of his Pina Colada and leaned back.
Suddenly, something red flew by his window, heading downwards at high speed.
"What the…"
A nasty sunburn, an inside informer who didn't have a clue of what he was doing, an old friend gone totally insane and mysterious objects falling from the sky…
What had he ever done wrong in his life, to earn this?
….
Random Skit 1: Raine's birthday!
Raine: Oooh, oooh, I wonder what they have prepared for me this year!
:Raine opens the door:
Raine: Nothing here. Sheesh, I was expecting this big surprise.
:Raine freezes:
Raine: But then again, this is a surprise. I was expecting a surprise, so not having a surprise is a surprise! AHA! But that means I got a surprise as I was expecting. But that itself is surprising as I were…
Zelos: Allright, I can't take it any longer! My brain melts! Happy birthday, Raine!
:everyone comes out, cheering:
Raine: Aw, how nice! But, no time for cake, party or anything that is too fun. Let's do homework!
Everyone: Oh no...
Sheena readied herself, and began to chant the ancient spell that would summon Luna.
Suddenly, she heard a loud bang.
"Damn!" someone yelled. It was Lloyd.
Sheena began to chant again...Wait a second. Lloyd!
Yes, it was Lloyd. He had just come crashing down from above, and landed in a pile of garbage.
"Here, let me help you" Sheena said, and helped Lloyd on his feet. His arm was pointing in a strange angle.
"Oh my god, Lloyd. Your arm..."
"I'm fine, mystery woman" Lloyd said and smiled weakly. "It's nothing, really. Just a minor wound."
He pushed her aside, and started walking towards the hotel. Suddenly, he froze, in the middle of a step.
"OH MY GOD! MY ARM!" He yelled in panic, staring intensly at his broken arm, gasping for air. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! IT'S OFF!"
Then he turned his head and looked Sheena in the eyes.
"Can you believe it, mystery woman?" He asked, trying to smile while his eyelids became heavier. "It's broken. In two... Just hanging...Wow..."
First, he started to lean forward, struggling to maintain balance. His eyes started to wander aimlessly, and he stumbled forward. Then he fainted.
Sheena dashed over to him, and captured him before he hit the ground. His face was pale, and his arm looked like it had been run through a document destroyer.
"God, I must take him to a nurse" Sheena said, and lifted him up. "Maybe Raine could... Or not."
She smiled. It would be perfect to take him to the hospital, they could spend some time alone.
You're mine, Lloyd Irving. Once I'm done with you, you won't know who Colette Brunel is.
But then again, you don't know that now either, do you...
And then Sheena Fuyibayashi went down the main street in search for a hospital, giving up all thoughts of the marathon.
She could live with the name "Mystery Woman". After all, it had a certain ring to it.
--------
There was only one staircase left before the top. Presea was running as fast as she could, closely followed by Raine and the mysterious Penguinist.
Presea was certain that she would win it, she was a lot faster than Raine and the Penguinist. But she was to be proven wrong.
Just when she was about to take the first steps of the chairs, she tripped. She fell flat on the floor, and dropped her axe in the process. Raine and the Penguinist ran by.
"Oh shoot!" She exclaimed and punched the ground. "I was so close!"
Raine ran, almost as fast as she ran when Teacher's Handbook issue 2 was first released. But the Penguinist was surprisingly fast, and she could not shake it off her back. The glass doors at the end of the staircase grew before her eyes.
She tried to whack the Penguinist unconscious with her staff. No use. The Penguinist had a head of stone.
It ended with them both throwing themselves through the glass doors, sending pieces of shattered glass everywhere.
Raine landed slightly ahead of the Penguinist, and she quickly got on her feet. The bell was only 20 meters away now, she was so close to victory. There was a lot of people on the roof, they all watched the two finalists with great anticipitation.
But the Penguinist had not given up. Using its last powers, it dashed past Raine, jumped towards the bell to ring it and...
KLONG!
Raine froze, and the Penguinist landed in front of the bell. They had both missed.
"Genis Sage, what the hell do you think you're doing!" Raine yelled. Her little brother was smiling in thriump, as he stood by the bell doing the victory sign.
"I'm winning, sister" He said, hugging the giant bell.
Raine was about to burn up. She had been so close, and then her very own brother had spoiled her chance of winning. This was even worse than when she ended up without getting an autograph from her favourite author, after waiting for six hours.
"We have a winner!" The hotel manager, whose foot had been taken care off. "Mr Genis Sage, congratulations! How does it feel?"
"It feels nice" Genis replied, enjoying the look on Raine's face.
"But how did you do it? You got knocked out at the start of the race, but managed to do an amazing comeback. How?"
"Well, I managed to regain consciousness and crawl over to the Save Point and..."
"Curse that stupid Save Point!" Raine yelled in anger. "I'm going to burn it! BURN IT!"
It was night. Their last night in Altamira. Tomorrow, they would leave for Meltokio. They had spent the afternoon rehearsing, everyone except for Lloyd and Sheena who were still at the hospital. Zelos had been placed on the beach so that his ice-casing would melt, and he had caught a nasty cold.
"Gee, I don't know if I can sing tomorrow" He said and sneezed.
"Of course you can" Raine said. "I have this amazing new healing technique that will cure you instantly. It's called I'll-Beat-The-Hell-Out-Of-Zelos-If-He-Complains-About-His-Cold-Again."
"On a second thought. I feel just fine."
"I thought so. I'll go up on the terrace for a while." She threw an angry look at Genis, who were polishing his gigantic prize. It was twice the size of him.
Regal slept, as usual and Presea was reading a book. Colette was playing with a butterfly that had somehow flown in.
Raine took the elevator up to the terrace. Altamira at night was a tremendous sight. The stars sparkled and spread their beautiful light over the city.
"It has been a long time." Someone said from behind. The voice seemed awfully familiar. She turned around.
It was the Penguinist from earlier.
"Ah, you can talk" Raine said. "What brings you here to Altamira?"
"I wanted to see you again, Raine"
"What? Who are you?"
The Penguinist took a step forward.
"It's me. Kratos."
"KRATOS!" Raine exclaimed. "It's been so long!"
"Sssh, I don't want Lloyd to find out I'm here. That's why I'm wearing this sillydisguise."
"He's at the hospital right now, I understand if you're sorry..."
"Oh no, that serves him right. I've missed you, Raine." Kratos said, his face barely visible in the blue suit.
"I've missed you too, Kratos." Raine said and smiled. "I've missed you too."
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That was chapter 6. Meltokio next! Read and review