Beer and Quantum Theory
Hallo all, hope you enjoy my weird story that begins here. I've wanted to write a Doctor Who story for ages, but what can I say...being in 6.1 with AS levels coming up is very stressful! This is only the first chapter so there's not much of mine and the lovely BBC's favourite romance; the Doctor and Rose. It will begin soon, no worries. If it was up to me completely and I didn't want this to be an in anyway decent story, they would be together from the start. But no, they'll have to put up with their secret passions and hormones for a bit longer. I'm so cruel, haha. Just a quick explanation of the formatting: a bold name followed by normal text is what that person is thinking. -normal text is dialogue. It shouldn't be too complicated, should it? Have fun...
Jacky - That's it, I've had enough. I raised that girl single-handed for 19 years didn't I? I've loved her and cared for her completely since she was born, right? Then after spending half my life at her beck and call, she just runs off with a man she's only just met, who's far too old for her, and just happens to be a bloody alien! Left me in the lurch, and poor Mickey too. She doesn't deserve a nice lad like that, leading him on then running off. She didn't even say when she'd be coming back, but she'd better do and apologise to us. It's been nearly a year already, and all I've had is a couple of phone calls full of static and her saying everything was fine and she had to be quick because the Doctor was waiting... It's always the Doctor. Hang on, what's that noise? I've heard it before...ages ago. A weird whining noise coming from the carpark...that's it! It's that old blue box, the one that the Doctor had. Rose is back! Have to get Mickey, I have to see her. My daughter, at last.
Rose - Well I'm back home again, but I'm not sure if it was a good idea coming back. I mean, I missed Mum and it's great to see her again, but she's making such a fuss. She should know how unreliable the TARDIS can be time-wise after last time when the Doctor accidentally brought a Roman gladiator arena ahead to 2005 with us. And you thought those fights on the History Channel were just actors in togas, right? Believe me there were film crews swarming round the estate all week while he worked out how to send them back. He and Jack came out to meet Mum when we arrived, and you should have seen her face when she thought I was with Jack - he's hot, youngish and is actually human so she must have been relieved untill about 5 seconds later when I corrected her. Sure Jack's nice, but I know him so well that he seems like a brother to me, and anyway he's far too randy for my tastes - I don't want to be just another conquest. He and the Doctor have buggered off and left me for the night, something that I'll never ever forgive them for. Mum just stopped in the middle of her tirade against the Doctor, me, and for some reason, Royal Mail to heave on a fag and make some tea. I can text the Doctor then; he's probably over in The Eagle downing pints while trying to explain quantum theory to 'Boxer' Jones. I miss him already.
the Doctor - It couldn't be that hard for this little ape to get its head round quantum, could it? It's one of the most important theories in human Physics and the guy thought I was talking about a new kind of washing powder! To think they haven't even managed a simple intergalactic space voyage yet...poor things. Heads up, my phone just beeped at me, and it's from Rose:
whats up doc,how cld u + jack leave me like that?mum is vry pissed off but mite calm down swn.save me!xxxRose
Haha, I'd better tell Jack that I'm leaving. Where is he?
-Oi, Jack. I'm leaving.
-What?Already? I was gonna watch the match with Katie...
-Who's Katie? What match?
-You know, Katie. That cute redhead in the corner. Dunno what game it was, something to do with carpets...rugs, maybe?
-Rugby, Jack.
-Yeah, that was it. Look, why don't you go and I'll meet you in the TARDIS. Ok?
-Alright, alright. I wouldn't want to dissapoint the delightful Katie, would I? See you later.
So I finish my pint and left the pub alone. I think this area is what humans call a 'concrete jungle' - there must have been trees, grass and little fluffy rabbits here once, but now it's all grey and hard. I hope Jacky has calmed down by now, she's already slapped me before and I don't want a repeat experience. Maybe I'd better get her something, just to show willing? This corner shop looks alright...what would she like? Well I suppose she'd appreciate a packet of those disgusting cigarette things she's always got in her mouth, but maybe not anything that's got SMOKING CAN KILL YOU emblazoned onto it. Flowers? Nah...to soppy, I don't want her to get the wrong idea. Chocolate? Rose said once that her and Jacky both loved Cadbury Miniature Heroes, whatever they are. Alright I'll get her some of them...better ask the old guy behind the counter where they are, he's been watching me since I came in.
-Hi, um, do you have any Miniature Heroes?
-Yeah, over there. That'll be one pound seventy-five please.
-Alright...hang one a minute. There it is, a five pound 21st century british sterling note.
-...Yeah mate, I can see that. I'll get you your change. For the girlfriend, is it?
-No! No, just a friend...her mum.
-The mother? Well...good luck.
-What? No, I didn't mean that...
-Goodbye sir, hope to see you again.
Well I have to leave now don't I? The guy's sorting out his till, ignoring me. I've really got to get myself some local currency, I'm starting to run low on phycic paper... Passing a clothes shop now, hey they've got leather jackets like mine! How much are they...fifty quid! Bloody hell I got this thing in Vladivostock,1933 I think it was. Cost me a goat and five pairs of shoes. How times change, right? Wait till Rose sees this, though. She rolls her eyes whenever she sees it on me, and I'm certain she tried to throw it into Mount Etna that time we visited. I'd better go I suppose, maybe Jacky has left. I bloody hope so.
Jacky - I do not believe that girl...the minute I leave the room she's at it again, texting bloody E.T. She doesn't even care about me anymore, doesn't even listen. Oh she answers me when I ask her stuff, but I can tell it's just on automatic; her brain isn't even in the room. I see her, she keeps glancing at the door as if she's waiting for him to come in...and she's still holding her mobile in her lap.
-So who's that other one then, the American?
-That's Jack, Mum. He's human.
-Oh. He's not like him then? Nothing extra underneath?
-You mean, does he have two hearts like the Doctor? No, Mum.
-He's going to take you away from me again isn't he? You've been here half an hour and he's going to take you away again.
-No, Mum, no. I...I think he might be coming over. But just to see you. He can wait a few more hours... I'll stay, Mum.
Rose - Why isn't he here yet? I text him twenty minutes ago...God I'm such a cow, Mum looks so heart-broken. She knows I don't want to be here. How long can she expect me to stay here anyway, drinking tea and chatting about Cousin Marjorie's hip replacement? Wait, was that the door?
-Doct...
Mickey - Dammit she hasn't got ugly. If she had I might be able to stop thinking about her, but she's even more beautiful than before. She was mine once... Stop kidding yourself mate, she stopped being your Rose the minute she left with the Doctor that first time. Before that, even. Time to face up to it, you can still be friends can't you?
-Long time no see, Rose.
-Oh. It's you Mickey; sorry, I thought it was...someone else.
-She means that alien, you're not good enough for her anymore Mickey.
-Shut up, Mum. It's nice to see you.
-Thanks...you're looking well.
Oh yeah, great conversation starter. 'You're looking well'...argh, what's she suppose to say to that? The doorbell rings, luckily we don't have to sit in this awkward silence anymore. Rose jumps out of her seat and runs out of the room.
-That's probably the alien, she's been waiting for him. Didn't listen to a word I said all morning.
-The Doctor, you mean? She's leaving with him again?
-Yeah, and I'm going to have a word with him. She's wasting her life with that guy. Oh it's alright to go travelling for a couple of months, but it's time she got herself another job and settled down a bit.
-But do you think she wants to stay here?
-I'm sure she'll come to a sensible decision.
the Doctor - Right I've rung the bell; I really do hope she's not here...
-Doctor?
-Rose! Is your mother in? Please say no.
-Sorry, she is. Mickey, too.
-Ah. Is she going to slap me again? What're you laughing at?
-Oh, nothing...just, you seem so scared of my mum.
-Yeah, well. Even all-powerful Time Lords are scared of some things.
-Woose.
-Oi! Anyway, I've brought something sweet for her. She might decide to like me.
-Oooh Miniature Heroes! You've got the right thing to blackmail her with anyway...you'd better come in.
Rose - I can't believe the Doctor bought my mum chocolates...I mean, the last Time Lord arriving at the door holding a cheap selection box for your mother? Very weird. Well, weird but still kind of sweet. As long as mum doesn't prove immune to it and yell at him again.
-Mum? The Doctor's here...he's got something for you.
-Aha, you think you can just stride in here and lure my daughter away again...well not this time! How many other girls have you taken away from their families? I bet they're all girls, aren't they? You pervert! You're not taking her away from me again, never! She's staying here with people who love her...what's that behind your back? Answer me!
-Um, I got you these. I'm sorry for keeping her away so long. I can go if you'd like...If Rose would like to stay with her family...
-No Doctor, don't you dare leave me! How could you say all that to him Mum? He's saved my life dozens of times, hasn't let anything happen to me. He's saved this planet loads of time, without you even knowing it! Just see what he's brought you...aren't they your favourites?
-Oh, Miniature Heroes...thankyou. Um...will you stay for lunch? I suppose it's the least we can do.
-Well I'm not sure...there's some work on the TARDIS that need's doing...Jack'll be waiting...I don't really do domestic.
-Oh come on, Doctor. Jack's fine where he is. Just this once? It'll be fun won't it Mum, Mickey?
-Alright I'll stay. For you.
Tada! So this is how in my twisted universe, the 9th Doctor actually manages to do domestic - at least for a little while. Please excuse any bad spelling and grammer, It's all my fault and I'm very sorry. You can say bad things about it if you want, but I don't really care so I'll be annoying and keep posting. Please bear that in mind. I'd just like to say that I've read a few of the other Doctor Who stories on here, and am feeling a little out of my depth. If you want to make me happy, send me some Miniature Heroes.