Chapter Seven
"I don't think you probably remember this, but I grew up in this church. I went to your school and I knew you well. I was a wild and crazy girl; my mother often told me and still tells me. I was energetic and hyper, the most cheerful girl in the church and in the school. My whole family called me by the name of Becky, and that is probably why you don't remember me," Rebecca explained, which was the starting of her story.
Aaron was blown away, and she only sat there patiently, knowing that it would only be far harder for him as she continued. "No, I don't think I remember. Continue."
"Well, all of that changed, including my name, when my family noticed there was a change in me. I was starting to lose weight, and I had quite a few bruises. I'm sure you know what's coming. I had cancer. A mild case of leukemia. My family and I moved in with my grandparents who lived in a different city, the same city that my doctor was in and also only a block from one of the best hospitals in the state. It was better for me, not having to talk about it to anyone else, not having to explain it repeatedly and receive hugs and sympathy that would only make it harder for me.
"We'd caught the cancer at an early stage, since we'd gone straight to the doctors when we became suspicious. A friend of my mother's she'd had while she was in high school had been a leukemia patient, and she remembered some of the symptoms. I was glad for it later. They got me on a new treatment. It was the best treatment for me."
"It was like a miracle, Aaron," Rebecca said, and even though tears were gathering in her eyes there was a smile on her face. It wasn't the first time he'd noticed, but he realized then that she was beautiful. Here she was, pouring her heart, her whole life story out to him, and she had never said more than a few words to him in the past few years. And she was smiling about it.
Aaron wanted to smile with her, but instead prompted her. "What was a miracle?"
"My father saved my life. He gave his bone marrow to me, and my body didn't reject it. It was like my body embraced what my father gave me, and the cancer didn't spread. Instead, the doctors told me six chances in ten it wouldn't come back.
"So when my family and I came back home, we thought everything would go back to normal. But I was changed, somehow. I couldn't be energetic and happy like I used to; I couldn't be the person was before the cancer. No matter what the doctor's said, what my family said, I told myself I couldn't risk getting close to anyone, nobody but my family. I couldn't go and make friendships all over the place and then have people suffer with me if the cancer came back. There were still four chances that the leukemia would return, and I knew I had to make a choice. I chose to make it less painful for everyone. My family would suffer if I died, and it would be hard for them. I couldn't help that but I could spare everyone else I could have gotten close to."
Aaron took a deep breath, not believing what he was hearing. Hardly knowing what he was doing, he took her hand as tears streamed down her face. "So you everything but cut yourself off from the rest of the world, other than your family. You decided to be quiet, thinking that nobody would take notice when you were there and nobody would take notice when you suddenly weren't. Rebecca—"
"I know what you're thinking," Rebecca said, cutting him off and rendering him speechless. Since when did this quiet girl cut interrupt? She didn't even talk when it was her turn to talk! "It's what my entire family was thinking, still is thinking. But I am still firm in my resolve. But you… you seemed determined to puncture that outer wall I'd built up around me. And now, don't you realize? I can't go back to what it was like before! You're officially a friendship. You know just about everything."
Aaron tried to speak, but she held up her hand.
"But you don't know all of it," she continued. "A few weeks ago, I started feeling tired again. I noticed bruises. I told my family, and my mother immediately booked an appointment. And a few days ago, I found out my leukemia is back. Turns out my chance is one of the four chances where it comes back, and you know what? I'm okay with it."
Aaron was wordless. First one blow, and then the other. One, she had cancer again. Two, she was okay with it. "Why are you okay with it? Don't you feel any anger at God?"
"I know, and yes, I was mad at God. That was the first time, though, when I was a lot younger, before I talked to Sherrie, the church secretary. She explained a lot to me. She said that God wouldn't have let it happen if he didn't want it to. It's in my plan, and it's up to Him if He wants me to live or not," Rebecca looked up at him, this time with a sad smile on her face. "It took a lot of prayer to trust my entire life to God, even though I knew the whole time that it was in His hands in the first place. It came as quite a shock, I know, but I have a feeling it did happen for a reason, and in a little while I'll be ready to tell people.
"But right now, I think I'm just going to listen to God. He has a reason for all of this, and my mother says that He will use this sickness to benefit in some way, if I let Him, if I trust Him."