"Looks like I've to go alone then. I'll leave around 1, in case you change your mind you know where to find me." Mac just nodded and turned her attention back to the files in front of her. At least she hoped Harm would think so. She wasn't able to concentrate on anything right now. It was the one word that was occupying her mind. 'Why' but she couldn't find an answer and she doubted she ever would.
She somehow made it through the rest of the day until it was time to clear the desk and head home. It actually surprised her that Harm hadn't bothered her anymore and she didn't knew whether she was glad about it or disappointed. On one hand she didn't want to share her thoughts with anybody, on the other hand, maybe ... no, this wasn't an option, she would never tell Harm. Never. To big was her fear that he might despise her. She was a tough Marine, but had to admit to herself that Harm's disdain was one thing she would not be able to handle, no matter how much their friendship had suffered during the last months, his judgement was still utterly important to her.
On her way home, she stopped by the Mall intending to get some groceries. Wandering through the store she had no idea what to get. She wasn't hungry at all, a condition that always crept up around this time of the year. Mac simply couldn't bear the thought of food, it always reminded her of what she had done.
2023 EST
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
The tall Navy Commander was lying on his couch, staring into an empty space. Mac didn't leave his mind. He had no idea what it was that was bothering her, but he knew it had to be something severe. She had often been cross with him, but her present behaviour was different. It was vaguely familiar to him, but he couldn't put his finger on when she had been like this the last time.
Thinking back he realized that she started acting strange when he mentioned the Gunny's birthday that had been today. He had asked her if she knew whether anyone was getting anything for him, it was not really usual but as most people at the office where quite close he had thought it would be nice.
It was just then that it dawned on him. The last time Mac behaved that way was the day when the Gunny paid for a round at Mc Murphy's after work. Back then he had attributed it to the fact that she was still slightly uncomfortable when everybody around her was drinking alcohol. That day was exactly 365 days ago, the Gunny's birthday. Maybe he was being paranoid, but it definitely was a strange coincidence.
He thought harder, but couldn't make any sense from the date. It wasn't the day her father dies, neither the day her mother left her. He anyway didn't think those dates would have this impact on her. She didn't look angry at somebody. On the contrary, anger directed towards her mixed with incredible pain was what he thought to read on her face. Pondering about this he fell asleep on the couch a few hours later.
His partner in Georgetown wasn't that lucky, another night without sleep was going to follow.