A/N : Okay, so we're back to work on the WIPs now. Hope everyone had a great Christmas, or a great time in general if you don't celebrate Christmas. Also hope you like this new chapter!
(For disclaimer, etc, - see chapter 1)

Chapter 11

"And you're sure you didn't dream this, like when you said she talked to you?" Xander checked warily. Spike was so angry at the Whelp for doubting the truth of what he was saying, he was surprised the chip didn't fire from the intent of pain he'd like to cause.

"I'm tellin' you, boy, she woke up" Spike said firmly, looking at Willow next, "Buffy was awake, she had hold of my hand and she looked at me, luv, she looked so lost" his voice cracked with emotion he was determined not to show in front of this lot and Dawnie could feel his pain.

"She's coming back to us?" she said hopefully, "I mean, that's twice now she's been here with Spike, that has to mean she's getting better, right?"

"I'd like to think so, Dawnie" Willow said, "but I don't think it works that way. It's not like a virus or the flu or something that Buffy has" she explained, "What that demon did to her, it poisoned her, confused her. That doesn't just go away given time"

"Something's happenin'" Spike shook his head, "Maybe the Bit's right, maybe her body's just fighting against this demon juice and she's recovering" he said, sounding as hopeful as the teen beside him.

"I don't know what to think" Willow sighed, "I really wish I could believe she was getting better but I don't know enough about this to know if it could be true"

"Kinda wishin' Giles was here right now" Xander admitted, "I can't believe he chose now to get all in touch with his spiritual side"

The gang had found out a couple of weeks ago, after calling just about everyone in England it seemed, that Giles had visited a coven of witches and seers he used to know and had decided to partake of a little 'reflective trancyness' as Willow had said when she got off the phone and explained to the gang. The seers told her he'd been a little lost when he'd come to England and had since travelled to a sacred place the name of which they were not allowed to reveal, to find himself as it were. Apparently there was no way to contact him until he returned and there was no ETA for his coming back.

The Scoobies were coping alone as best they could, still taking turns to sit with Buffy, whilst fitting in jobs and school, demon research, and patrol duties. Using a Wiccan connection, Willow had managed to get a potion mixed that would keep Buffy alive whilst in her trance-like state, replacing the need for food, water, and general digestion. One spoonful in the morning, another at night, and her body would be mystically kept ticking over as if she were awake and active as normal.

For as many routines and plans as the little group had, none of them could be comfortable whilst their lives remained like this. They needed Buffy back, they all missed her terribly and prayed that somehow, someday soon, they'd find a solution and a way to bring her back from a place where she was almost definitely suffering.

Two days and nights passed, and the task of blocking out Sunnydale became increasingly difficult for Buffy. In her dresser drawer was a bottle of pills the doctor had given her that were supposed to make her calm and relaxed if ever she felt agitated. The theory was if she was calm, she would be happy, and not let her delusions take over again, but in all honesty Buffy was getting more and more glad to let the apparent hallucinations take hold.

It was so great to see Dawnie again, and Willow and Xander. They didn't look too happy, but then why would they when she was just lying there like a vegetable, making them suffer her loss all over again. She wondered vaguely if Willow was afraid to help her, after what had happened with the resurrection. Maybe the gang didn't know whether she was in a good or bad place now, and feared making things worse by pulling her out of another heavenly world. Buffy laughed painfully at that thought, since this apparent reality had been her heaven that she'd spoken of. What a fool she'd been, thinking this was so perfect, a world where she hated her job, struggled with college, had no real friends, and was forced to listen to her parents regular fights, mostly at night when they thought she was sleeping and didn't hear.

The more Buffy thought about the deterioration of her world the more she began to wonder if this was real at all. Though perhaps her life in Sunnydale was illogical there were many times that she had happy memories of. So far in this world, happy times were limited and those moments she could find to smile about had all been within the first week or two of being back here. But was this back, was it reality, she wondered, or had she just fallen into a delusion that was cleverly disguised as reality.

As easy as it was to believe she had manufactured Spike when she'd 'met' William, it could just as simply be assumed that she'd made up Will to fill the gap made by Spike. She missed her parents so much of course she would put them into her delusion and her friends had been driving her crazy so she would block them out. Take out the slaying because it had been getting her down and there was Buffy's perfect world. It suddenly seemed to make much more sense that what she'd assumed to be reality was in fact the real hallucination, and that Sunnydale and her friends and family whom she'd been trying to block out were after all in the real world.

The whole thing made Buffy's head spin and she closed her eyes as she gripped onto the dresser. A moment later she stumbled back, landing on her bed with a thud, and when her eyes opened again, she was not alone.

"...I believe it, I do" Dawnie was saying firmly, "Willow says she can't get her hopes up and Xander, well y'know he never liked Spike so he won't believe either, but I do. I know you're trying to come back to us, Buffy" she said with sincerest hope as she pushed her sisters hair back from her face, "You're my sister, and I love you, and I know you love me too. You died for me, and for the world, and I'm gonna make sure we do this for you, bring you back to where you belong" she said, close to tears by now.

Buffy lay there is silence, so moved by her sister words that tears rolled down her own cheeks too. It seemed her sister noticed and she gasped with surprise.

"Buffy?" Dawn said cautiously, "Buffy, if you can hear me please talk to me. Please, Buffy, I miss you so much"

"I-I'm sorry, Dawnie" she said hoarsely, her fingers reaching out to run through the younger girls hair and push it back over her shoulder like she'd done a hundred times before, "I'm so sorry"

"Don't be sorry" Dawn cried, "Just be Buffy, stay with us" she said as she hugged her tight. Buffy hugged her back just briefly as she whispered into her hair.

"I can't stay yet, I'm sorry" she said again as she concentrated and found herself alone again, her arms empty, and the sound of slamming doors and yelling downstairs.

Mom and Dad were home and apparently not happy with each other again. Whether this was the real world or not she couldn't be sure, and doubted she could ever know for certain. Still she had to choose one place to stay in. If she wasn't crazy already she soon would be if she continued to let herself drift between two lives as she was doing now. The choice was not as simple as it might be, though slaying was tough her friends and her sister and Spike were in Sunnydale. Here she had William who loved her dearly, and her parents, though with all the fighting they were doing, Buffy wondered how much longer her family would stay together. They were arguing again, she could hear them clear as anything and she hated it, she had to get out.

Buffy got up from her bed and sat down at her vanity table, gasping when she saw the terrible state of her face, with her make-up all run down from her eyes. She set to work on cleaning herself up and re-applying colour to her eyes and lips before picking out a fresh outfit from her closet and changing her clothes. Grabbing up her purse she got as far as the door when she realised there was no way out of the house without passing her arguing parents and she just couldn't face that.

Glancing over at the window she had a wild thought. Quickly and quietly she moved back across the room and checked the view from the window. There was no second roof she could drop onto like Sunnydale but there was a trellis with plants all down the side of the house that she could use to reach the ground.

"Here's hoping it's just as easy without the Slayer skills" she said as she pushed open the window, the thought not occurring to her that she was now taking her life as the Chosen One to be the real world.

It was not quite as simple as she'd hoped but Buffy soon felt solid ground beneath her feet and found that her outfit and hairstyle had adequately survived her little climbing expedition. That and the fact no-one had seen her escape pleased her greatly as she set off down the dark street to William's apartment.

Buffy was greatly reminded of patrolling after dark in Sunnydale as she crossed past the cemetery on her way. It was insane, but something made her want to take the turn, go through the gates and check for vampires. She shook her head and told herself no, even if this was a delusional world as she suspected it might be, if she mentioned demons and vamps here she would end up back in that hospital... but that might not be such a bad thing, she realised. If she was certified crazy here that'd mean Sunnydale would come back to her permanently, she guessed. Oh what she wouldn't give to have Willow or Giles here to explain the scientific and magical elements of what was happening to her. Oh what she wouldn't give to have Spike's strong arms around her and hear his whispered words of love and comfort.

These very thoughts were still in her mind as she rode the elevator up to the fifth floor of the apartment block where William lived and arrived outside his front door, knocking once and waiting for him to answer. The door opened just a crack and he peered out at her.

"Hey" she smiled, but he frowned as he opened the door fully.

"Buffy, what in heavens name are you doing here?" he snapped, sounding overly British and very Giles-like.

"I came to see you" she shrugged like it was the most natural thing in the world as she took a step forward and smiled, putting her arms around his neck, "What's the matter? Not pleased to see me?" she asked, pouting like a child.

"Always pleased to see you, pet, you know that" he assured her, tucking some stray hairs behind her ear before leaning in to kiss her softly.

The kiss was too short and much less passionate than Buffy really craved, but after the incident on the porch at her house the other night, she didn't say anything.

Of course when she'd called William up and apologised for her crazy behaviour the next day, he'd instantly forgiven her and all was again right with the world, if this was the world, Buffy thought to herself as she went into the apartment with her boyfriend.

"Did you walk here by yourself, Buffy?" he checked as they walked through to the living room and sat down on the couch together.

"Well, I didn't think we would need a chaperone so yeah, I came alone" she smirked, "Why?"

"I think you may have forgotten that Los Angeles is not the safest of cities, luv" he told her, "Most especially at night, and with you being the beautiful young woman that you are, I do worry you know..."

"Hold on a sec" Buffy smiled, ignoring his mini-lecture about the things that supposedly went bump in the night here, "Go back to the part where I was beautiful" she said almost shyly and he rolled his eyes.

"Really, Buffy, that was not the point of what I was saying" he complained good-naturedly, "But you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, inside and out" he assured her, his hand going to her cheek, "and I'm so completely in love with you I don't know where to begin" he said in barely a whisper as his lips drifted closer to hers.

"I do" she told him as she moved to kiss him, tenderly at first and then with a hunger he hadn't really been expecting. Still, he didn't pull away, if she wanted him that was fine, since he certainly wanted her. After so long of being a gentleman with her, he desperately wanted to move things on and since she'd started this that was exactly what he did.

Buffy was soon lying down on the couch with William hovering over her, and he was suddenly very uncertain of himself. Though this was not the first time he'd been with a woman this way, he certainly didn't have as much experience as some other men.

"Buffy, are you sure?" he checked and she paused for a moment as she realised she ought to be more nervous than this, after all this was her first time, if this was indeed the real world. Angel, Parker, Riley, and Spike were all apparent figments of her imagination, or maybe just William was. It didn't matter right now, what mattered was that this man who was here with her now loved her as much as anyone ever could love someone else and Buffy really needed that right now. In all the uncertainty that surrounded her, William's love was something solid she could depend upon, much like Spike's had always been. She resolved not to think of the bleached blond as she looked up into blue eyes that might've been his anyway.

"I'm sure" she nodded, "I love you, William" she promised him, "and I need you, I need you close to me"

She had no more words but he didn't need them, as he stood from the couch and helped her up too. If they were going to do this it was going to be done properly. He'd waited a very long time for Buffy Summers, his own Sleeping Beauty as it were, to waken and be his own. Now here she was, and he was going to treat her like the princess she was to him.

Buffy herself was somewhere between thrilled and amazed as she was led into William's bedroom and the door was firmly shut behind them.

"I love you, Buffy" he told her again as he took her in his arms and kissed her deeply, his hands moving down her back and pulling her top free from her pants as she worked the buttons on his shirt.

As they continued to kiss and caress each other, their clothes slipped away and soon they were lying naked on his bed. As they moved together, Buffy's eyes fell shut and she was horrified to see Spike behind her lids. This shouldn't be about him, not now, but wasn't William just another version of him anyway or vice versa?

All rational thought fled her mind, as she concentrated on what was happening, staring up into his bright blue eyes as they hit the dizzy heights of passion together.

"Oh Spike" Buffy gasped in ecstasy... and William's heart broke in two.

To Be Continued...