AN: Jess (I love massaging chairs, too! And not just because, in the story it's something meaningful... clears throat) merryman (Yeah, that was kind of where I was going with Aaron. And don'tyou love kiddie plays? I adore them. We have a Christmas pageant/play every year atour church, and it's for little kids.We always havebig turnout for it because the kids are so cute! And no, thank you!) Crystal (Oh, thanks! Yeah, well, I'm forgetful that way too. That's okay, even though I was kinda looking forward to hearing your ideas. I'll think about that scene, though I do have some cool things in mind... Well, yes, longer chapters are better, but see I realize that some people don't realy want to read long chaptesr like that. It gets tiring, and people skip over things and skim just to get done with the chapter. So I try to make my chapters shorter, but I'm not leaving anything out. Eh hem... yes I know what you mean. And if someone said something like that to me... I would melt. That reminds me of the song...) Melissa (Thanks for reviewing! Yes, I think that's a complete outrage. People do it without thinking, and it's not just with races. It's basically all to do with outward appearances. If someone doesn't have a perfect body, a lot of people automatically assume the worst. One of my favorite sayings, also because I'm a bookworm: Never judge a book by its cover) SunnyGoten (You're right about those things. Thanks for letting me know! Yeah, God made the earth because there was nothing and He was bored--to put it simply--but He didn't have to make lakes and mountains and plains. He could have made the earth boring and dull without flowers, plants, beauty, panoramas. That's waht I was going for with that. The other point, you're completely right about everything on earth fading, even the sun, scientifically. What I was leaning toward is that His creations in general, including Heaven, won't fade. Even though our bodies die, still our souls that He's created willcontinue to live, it's just a matter of where. I wasn't really saying the earth specifically, because we all knwo it's already beginning to fade, I wassort of saying His creations as a whole. I can see where you're coming with those, adn I should have explained my thoughts better. And your second review: Wow! Good question! I might have to think about this one for a little while and come back with it in another poem. Here's what I can think of off the top of my head: You're right, God could help those people up. What I was using was sort of an analogy for humans going down the wrong path. We still have our free will and can ignore that 'still, small voice' inside our heads, but I also think that our conscience has a lot to do with God. So, "those that fall" or those that are heading down the wrong path made their own choices. God can't control completely. He's already won over sin and Satan, but He can't just take over and steer us onto teh right path again. That just makes it easier for us, it's not really helping us strengthen our faith. So, instead of taking control over those people heading teh wrong direction, He helps not directly but sort of in a roundabout way. I'm sure you've heard of God "using" a believer to do His will? Well, that's what I was talking about. By God using me to help out a friend who is getting off track, by God using me to reach this person with the Gospel, He can do a better job. I'll use an analogy: When someone is learnign to drive,instead of takign the steering wheel, God puts somebody in the passenger seat to help that person learn. If the passenger keeps taking teh wheel the learner will never completley learn how to drive and soon will depend on the passenger to take over when they're in the other lane or in teh path of danger. I plan on thinking about this some more; I don't think I explained it well enough. Anyway, until I can think of anything else to tell you, thanks for reviewing!)

Chapter Seventeen

Aaron logged onto the internet, wondering what Chris had sent him. He'd told him at school that he'd found something interesting while he was browsing the internet a few days earlier and that he'd sent him some of the things he'd found on a certain site.

Sure enough, the first message in his 'Inbox' folder was from Chris.

"Hey, dude, I thought you should check this out:"

Home FAQs Recent Emails "Just Diagnosed"

RBP,

My parents had thought I was just sick, but they didn't know what it was. When I started being tired all the time, they thought I was just coming down with something. Then the bruises started happening. They were horrible and from the silliest things ever.

That was when my parents took me to the doctor. They did some tests, and just today the doctor met with me and my family. I have leukemia, and I don't know how to take it. Finding your site was a miracle... I had no idea how to take the diagnosis. I feel like my whole life is coming to a close, like this is it for me. I can't even begin to describe the feeling; I'm mostly numb to everything right now. I can't even cry about it… I just don't know how to feel.

I grew up in a church and have been a Christian since I was three. I always was taught that Jesus loved me. That was, in fact, our Awana theme song when I was a cubby. But if He really does love me, why did He let this happen? Why would He want to end my life like this?

Jennifer

Reply

Jennifer,

Thanks for emailing me with your questions. That's what this site is for, and I'm very glad you found it. Those are the typical questions and feelings, and it's completely understandable. When I first was told that I had cancer in my blood cells, I didn't know how to take it. We found it early enough that they thought they were going to be able to catch it… and they did. After a long time having to deal with chemotherapy, it went into remission. Now, just a few months ago, I found out it's made a comeback. So I know completely how you feel and I understand. You can find my story if you follow the link 'About Me' on my homepage.

I will tell you the complete truth, Jennifer: it's not fun. In fact, by your first treatment you will wish you were dead. I do not accept and reply to emails to tell cancer victims that "everything's gonna be all right". I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that chemotherapy is fine or fun in any way, because it's not. I have this site because I want to provide a safe haven for cancer patients who don't know what's in store for them… or those, like you, who don't know what to feel. I have this site because I want to answer questions that I can answer because of my own experience. And I'm going to be completely honest.

As for your questions about God: you're not alone when you feel this way. I felt that way, still do, even though I know the answers. I'll bet my life that most other cancer and disease patients have felt that way at some point in their sickness. You're right to think that way, actually. But have you ever thought of your sickness as a blessing?

I know, I know, you're wondering how on earth I can say that while we both are sitting here at our computers and a battle (one that has a fair chance to end up in death) is raging inside us. Well, I can, because there is a certain verse in the Bible that says that trials should be considered a gift. To put it in human perspective, God deems your faith is strong enough to be tested. Or we could say it the other way around: Satan considers your faith a threat to him, so he sends sin and trials your way. Know that God was not the creator of disease; our sin-nature, our corruption and unrighteousness, created sin and sickness. He intended the entire world to be perfect, and you can bet that disease was not in His book listed as 'perfect'. All that came along the second Adam and Eve bit into their fruit from the Forbidden Tree.

Then we can argue "Why did God allow this to happen to us?" I know this is hard to grasp, but God's way of thinking is infinitely more complex than ours. He has His plan for you, and you can be sure that He knows what He is doing. I will tell you this: this disease, this cancer, this sickness will be the trial of your life. It will test your faith every day. I would go as far as to say that what is going on inside you is not only a battle between cells but a battle between good and evil. Spiritual warfare.

And think what is waiting for you at the end! It's either life… or life. Life on earth if you're cured or life in heaven! You'll be cured any which way it turns out. Christ will make your body whole again, and there is no disease in heaven. When you think about it in the long run, it's almost better to have God take your life than to spend the rest of your life on earth.

This is the way I see it: put all my faith in God; He's got it handled. I end up winning any way He sends me. The worst thing that can happen is I die, right? And even then I still live eternally in heaven with my Creator.

Which brings our conclusion to this: God is our Creator. He gave us everything, including our bodies and the cells that are infecting us. So what right do we have to be angry with Him for taking away what was rightfully His to begin with?

Anyway, I hope that this was enough to satisfy your questions for now. If you have any more, I'd be glad to get another email from you!

In Him,

Rebecca

"I didn't think it would take anything else to convince you…"

Aaron blinked hard and looked over the email once again. RBP. Rebecca Brittany Pier. So, this was God's reason for giving her cancer.