Moonlight Shadow

Chapter 7

I don't own Inuyasha

That night Sango lost count of times she cried. It seemed that every time she managed to stop that she would remember the hurt and anger that she had seen reflected in Miroku's eyes, and the cycle would start all over again. The tears, the wishing she could stop crying, to the telling herself that he wasn't worth crying over, that he was wrong vampires were evil and they did need to be destroyed, but then what he said would creep back into her thoughts and make her wonder if what she had been doing was a good as she thought. After all Miroku was right about her killing, she had never thought twice about killing and yet she was holding the fact that he had killed – and only once – against him.

Sinking onto her bed, Sango let the tears flow as she cried now for the fact that she had been such a fool. All Miroku had wanted was her friendship, and she said no and to make matters worse she had called him evil and a monster. No wonder he was mad at her, Sango knew he had a right to be. She had hurt him, that much was very clear, and Sango cursed the words with every fiber of her being. Remembering the hurt in his eyes, made everything seem so much worse, he had never been anything more than kind to her and she had thrown that back in his face.

"I," Sango thought, "am such a fool. How in the world am I ever going to make things right; and who's to say that even if I do apologize that he's accept it. I could hardly blame him if he didn't…..not after those things I said…"

Flopping back on her bed, Sango contemplated the ways that she could apologize, and finally settled on making Miroku his favorite meal, blueberry pancakes. When he stopped by in the morning like he had every day since the first day for a coffee she would have a heap of blueberry pancakes ready for him, piping hot with maple syrup on top. As sleep finally claimed her Sango allowed herself a small smile, after she apologized he would forgive her and then, then they could be friends and this time she wouldn't regret it.

Glancing from her watch to the door, down at the pancakes she had made and then back to her watch, Sango felt her throat tighten. Miroku wasn't going to stop by for breakfast. Fighting back the urge to cry, Sango wrapped the blueberry pancakes up and placed them in the fridge and dumped out the coffee she had made just the way Miroku liked it. It was obvious that he wasn't stopping by. Sniffing Sango forced herself to control her feelings, it was her fault Miroku was mad at her no one else's. She had said things that had hurt him and it was obvious that he was still upset, but she couldn't allow herself to go to pieces she would just have to apologize at school. Grabbing her backpack Sango walked out the door glancing down the hallway, in case Miroku suddenly came rushing around the corner apologizing for being late.

But there was no Miroku, only a sleepy silence. As she ran to school Sango contemplated how she would say sorry, they had math first thing. She never needed to pay attention in math, so she would write Miroku a note asking him to meet her so she could apologize. Glancing at her watch Sango realized that she was going to be late, running faster Sango made it to first period class just as their teacher was taking attendance. She quickly took her seat, and reached into her backpack to pull out her math binder, when the teacher called out "Miroku?" Finding her binder Sango sat up and looked over at the desk two seats over, which was empty! Feeling like she had been punched in the stomach Sango struggled to breathe. Miroku wasn't there….but he was never late! He hadn't come! Biting her lip Sango forced herself to take deep breaths, and turn around to face the board. Forcing herself to pay attention to the work they were doing with bionomials was the only way Sango managed not to cry. When the bell rang Sango packed her things up in a daze and walked out of the classroom where Kagome and Inuyasha were waiting for her.

"Sango," Kagome said taking in her friend's upset face and putting that together with Miroku's absence coming up with the fact that the two had had an argument.

"Kagome," Sango said interrupting looking over at Inuyasha who was trying not to look interested but failing miserably through the fact that he was hovering, "could I talk with you alone…..girl to girl?"

Kagome looked surprised for a second then turned expectantly to Inuyasha who just scowled and said, "why are you looking at me? You don't need my permission."

Looking back to Sango, Kagome smiled and said, "of course, why don't we go out to the courtyard."

Nodding dumbly Sango let Kagome put her arm around her shoulders and lead her outside. Once they were sitting on a bench outside Kagome said, "you and Miroku had a fight didn't you."

"Yeah," Sango said looking down at the grass. "I guess you could call it that. It was more me being pig-head and saying things that hurt Miroku." Eyes glistening Sango looked up and met Kagome's gaze and said, "I feel like such a fool Kagome. I- I said some stuff last night, some stuff that really hurt him and now he's mad at me. But the thing is I believed in what I said, but then Miroku goes and flips everything around showing me that I wasn't always in the right."

"Is this about how you're a slayer?" Kagome asked putting her hand on her shoulder.

"I thought I was doing the right thing Kagome, I never thought twice about killing, but we were talking and I brought up the fact that Miroku had killed before and he said all this stuff about- about how I was a hypocrite calling him a murderer when I had done the same thing…and I don't know what to think any more. Because as much as I don't want to I realized that everything he said was….right."

"Wow and to think that I thought Inuyasha and my fights were nasty," Kagome said looking off.

"And I want to apologize Kagome, I really do! But then Miroku didn't show up for breakfast at my place this morning, and now he's not at school. What am I supposed to do, I want to apologize by I'm afraid that he won't accept it and that he'll still be mad…." Sango said trailing off.

"Sango, welcome to the wonderful world of being a teenage girl, everything is confusing and you never know if what you're doing is going to turn out. What I've learned is that you have to do what you think is right and well if it doesn't work out, then well you have to let it go. If I were you I would go over to Miroku's and make him talk to you, he's probably regretting last night too. His temper will have settled and knowing Miroku he's probably thinking about apologizing too," Kagome said reassuringly.

"But I have no idea where he lives!" Sango exclaimed.

"That's where having your grade representative as a best friend comes in handy. I have the ability to find out. I'll have his address for you by the end of the day." Standing up Kagome hauled Sango to her feet and said, "now come on we can still make English class if we hurry." When Sango didn't move Kagome went on, "Sango, don't worry everything will turn out fine." Looking Sango met Kagome's eyes and as her friend smiled she felt better than she had in a long time. Holding out her hand Kagome said, "Are you coming now?"

Putting her hand in Kagome's, Sango allowed herself to be pulled to her feet Sango said, "yep." Dashing off the two girls giggled as they managed to make their English class just as the second bell rung.

Glancing at the house in front of her back to the piece of paper Sango held in her hand Sango was wondering if Kagome had given her the right address. The house that she was standing in front of was small yes but very nice looking. She didn't know what she had expected Miroku to live in, - a dark tiny, grungy old apartment maybe – but it certainly had not been a house this nice. It looked so normal. Looking back at the sheet of paper Sango sighed, well it had taken her an hour to get here she might as well double check... After all if it wasn't Miroku's house she could always ask Kagome to check again. But what if it was Miroku's house, was she really ready to face him after last night? Fighting back the urge to run away from the house, Sango heard Kagome's words echo through her mind, "don't worry everything will turn out fine." Kagome was right Miroku would forgive her once she apologized, so why was she putting this off. Striding over to the door Sango knocked three times. "Well too late now," she thought. As the seconds ticked by Sango's confidence slowly deteriorated, why wasn't Miroku answering? Sango counted a minute by and still there was no Miroku. She knocked again this time louder, maybe he was sleeping. But after another minute of no one answering Sango realized that either Miroku wasn't home or he wasn't answering. She quickly pulled out her cell phone and dialed Kagome. "Kagome," Sango said. "He's not answering. What should I do?!"

"Hi Sango, so either the idiot isn't answering or he isn't home. Hmmm what do do….what to do…" a moment ticked by while Kagome debated what Sango should do. "Oh well what the hell, Miroku keeps his key under the doormat."

"WHAT!" Sango exclaimed. "Kagome I can't just let myself in!"

"Well why not, that was if he's home he'll have to talk to you and if he's not you can wait for him. Miroku never goes anywhere long," Kagome replied coolly.

"But Kagome, doesn't that fall under breaking and entering!" Sango went on.

"Of course not, I'm the one who told you where the key is and if you have a key you're not 'breaking' and entering." Kagome said, and suddenly Sango was curious about what exactly Kagome was doing.

"Kagome, what are you doing? What's that chanting going on in the background?" Sango asked.

"Oh just family stuff, I'm sorry I can't really talk but I promise that everything will be alright. Just do what I said, oh and if you really want to you can mention to Miroku that I was the one who told you where the key was. Uh-oh Sango, sorry I got to go, I'll talk to you later bye." Kagome said quickly and before Sango could protest further the line went dead. Looking at the cell phone she glanced around and then biting her lip she knelt down and picked up Miroku's door mat. And lying there just like Kagome said I would be was the key to Miroku's front door. Picking it up Sango, glanced around guiltily and then dropping the mat back into place she slipped the key into the lock and turned. The door opened and taking a gulp Sango stepped across the threshold. Gently closing the door behind her Sango slipped her sandals off and called, "Miroku? Are you home?" Hearing no reply Sango walked down the hallway all the way making note of Miroku's excellent taste in décor; from the dark wood and white walls, to the pictures and dark violet furniture. Walking from room to room checking to see if Miroku was there, Sango grew more uncomfortable by the minute. After searching the entire first floor Sango walked up the beautiful stairway that had to lead to Miroku's bedroom, maybe he was sleeping; who knew maybe he was a really deep sleeper? Reaching the top of the stairs Sango was surprised to see that upstairs there were only four rooms, walking over to the largest one that Sango assumed was Miroku bedroom, she gently and very carefully opened the door. She was surprised to see everything very tidy and organized with the exception of his bed which was unmade and very messy. Walking over Sango gently ran her hands over the dark violet bed sheets, and wondered if Miroku knew that violet was the colour of humanity, and if he had purposely used it. Sango stood there a moment longer just stroking the covers where her friend had obviously tried to sleep to no avail. Sango could sense his overwhelming aura everywhere in the room and she was surprised to feel a sense of security and warmth pass over her. Smiling she turned and walk out of the room and checked each of the other rooms just to make sure that he wasn't there even though she already knew he wouldn't be which made her feel a lot better, so he hadn't been ignoring her he actually hadn't been home. Walking back down to the living room Sango sat down on the couch and allowed herself the luxury of looking around the room. Her gaze fell on his fireplace and all the pictures he had sitting on top of it. Standing up curious Sango walked over and picked the first one up. Looking at it she had to smile, it was one of Miroku, Kagome and Inuyasha at an amusement park all eating ice cream and laughing. Putting that one down Sango picked up the next one and had to laugh it was another picture of Miroku, Kagome and Inuyasha this time they were at the beach and who ever had taken the picture had taken it just as Inuyasha had spotted Miroku's wandering hands wandering a bit to close to Kagome's rear. Laughing Sango placed that one down too and picked up the middle picture and was surprised to see her in this one. It was the picture they had taken two nights ago when the four of them had gone out for supper and a movie. They had been sitting at a pizza booth where their pizza had just arrived, Sango remembered Miroku asking the waitress if she would take a picture and how the four of them had smiled goofy grins all holding a piece of pizza up as if in a toast. Smiling sadly Sango ran her fingers over the picture.

"Sango!" Miroku exclaimed dropping his bag of groceries making Sango whirl around in surprise.

"Miroku! You surprised me!" Sango said.

"You surprised me!" Miroku exclaimed dropping to his knees to pick up the groceries.

Hastily Sango put the picture back on top of the fireplace and hurried over to help him pick up the various food items that had rolled out of his grocery bag. Placing the food in the bag they worked in silence until Sango handed the final orange to Miroku. "Miroku, c- can I uhhh-" Sango said stuttering. "Can I talk with you?"

"I guess," he said standing up with the grocery bag in his arm and walking into the kitchen. "Considering you've already broken in, I can't really throw you out can I."

Blushing and closing her mouth Sango followed him silently into the kitchen where she helped by passing him food.

"If you don't mind me asking how exactly did you get in?" Miroku asked when he placed the last can away.

"Kagome told me that you kept your key under your doormat," Sango said blushing.

"I really do need to find a better place to hide that thing," Miroku said opening the fridge door. "Drink? I don't have much only juice and water…oh and milk."

"Miroku," Sango said crossing over to him and sinking to her knees beside him begging with her voice for him to look at her. "I- I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you, you have to believe me! I was just so confused when you showed up. And then when you said that speech and left, I felt so stupid, so stupid and awful I was horrible to you and I just came here to say that….that you were right. I was really awful to say those things about you being a monster, I know that you're different. I was a real fool and I just wanted you to know that I am so sorry. And I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me….because- because I really do want to be your friend."

Miroku looked away and stood up grabbing a container of apple juice and walking over to cupboard pulled out a glass and poured himself a glass of apple juice. Standing up Sango found herself having problems breathing, why wasn't he looking at her, could he not bear the site of her? She would have preferred him to be angry, anything would have been better than this cool indifference. Her eyes now blurring with tears, Sango said, "please Miroku, please forgive me I said I was sorry." Stretching out her hand she tentatively placed it on his shoulder, but much to her shock and dismay he shook it off. Feeling hurt, she wondered if Miroku had felt this way each time she had shrugged him off. Withdrawing her hand quickly to her chest Sango forced herself to breathe. Biting her lip she forced herself to say, "okay, well thank you for listening Miroku and well I guess I'll be going now. I just hope that-" but she stopped herself before she said 'you can forgive me' it was obvious he didn't want to forgive her. Shaking her head she said quietly, "Never mind, I'll be going now. I just wanted you to know that you were right. Goodbye."

Turning around Sango forced herself to walk slowly with dignity to the door instead of bursting into tears and running out. Bending down her trembling hands tied the straps on her sandals. Standing up, every muscle shaking from the effort that she resorting on to keep them from collapsing, Sango put her hand to her mouth to stop the tears. Gently she opened the door and walked out; walking down the steps Sango suddenly paused and turned around remembering she still had Miroku's key. Placing in gently on top of the door mat, Sango's hand trembled. Standing back up straight she caught the sight of Miroku with his back turned to her tampering around in the kitchen. Turning around her breaths started to come in choking sobs, blinking her eyes fiercely Sango stopped the tears which threatened to tumble over. Since when had she become a cry a baby, one of her arms had been ripped open with a rusty can and she hadn't cried, so why was she crying now? It was stupid, pointless. Sango took in a deep breath running her hand across her eyes drying the tears. Forcing one foot in front of the other was a battle, and all Sango wanted to do was break down and cry, but she wasn't going to give into that desire. She was a slayer, she should go find a vampire; that was what slayers did, they killed vampires to make themselves feel better. It had been nearly two weeks since she had last killed a vampire, she would get rusty if she let her emotions take over. "But could I really kill a vampire after what Miroku said last night?" Sango asked herself. "Will I ever be able to go back to the cold hearted slayer I used to be?"

Author's note: oooh I know I'm evil leaving it there but that is where I have chosen to end it and don't worry the next one will be out soon. Well bit of a long chapter ne? I thought so. Well hope you liked it, I personally found it very depressing to write, especially at the end there… WAILS to sad. Please review. Sayonara for now folks and can't wait to hear from you all

Shamanic Destiny