Other side of the world, a csi fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Catherine Willows and Sara Sidle, nor do I own CSI. If I did, I'd have more than 34 euros in my bank account! I'm just using them to entertain myself and others without making any profit.

I also don't own the song used in this fic. It's Other side of the world by KT Tunstall.

A/N: This is my first attempt on writing a songfic, feedback will be much appreciated.

Other side of the world

Catherine was sitting in the break room with a cup of coffee in her hand. She was pretending to read a magazine, but in reality she was checking out the woman who had graced her dreams for the past weeks. Sara Sidle, the brunette sitting across the room from her, who was engrossed in a magazine, was totally oblivious to Catherine's presence.

Sara Sidle is a puzzle, a puzzle Catherine wanted to solve. She wanted to index every piece and put them together to get a whole picture. Sara Sidle was a mystery, a mystery Catherine wanted to unravel.

Sara had the idea no one really knew her, and she was fine with that. If they didn't know her, they wouldn't be able to hurt her, something that had happened way too much in the past already. In the past while, Catherine had been nice to her, something that confused her to no end. It was safer if her and Catherine would just continue on the path they had been going because else she might have an even hard time hiding her true feelings.

Sara has had a crush on her older co-worked since the day she met her. The blonde CSI was a tower of strength to Sara, even though she had no idea. From the small fights to the big disillusions, it all stimulated Sara to be an even better person, to work extra hard to earn the blonde CSI's respect. Even though hurtful things were said sometimes she still idolized Catherine in her mind, which was resulting in a very inconvenient crush.

Catherine was getting a clear idea about how Sara worked, about what made the brunette tick. She had the idea Sara wanted to open up, but something kept her from doing so. The older CSI grinned, you think no one knows you Sara, but I do.

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an iceberg
Waiting to change
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like the water

Sara looked up from her magazine and saw Catherine sitting on the couch across the room, reading a magazine. She wished she had the courage to approach her, to tell her what she really meant to her. But that would be very unlike her, she could hear her mind objecting right away and sighed. The sigh made Catherine look up at Sara, who had returned to her magazine.

All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water

Sara Sidle was hiding from her, she just knew it. She wished she could find a way to break through those walls and to get to know the woman behind the tough, but damn sexy, scientist. But it would be impossible for them to pursue anything, if there was anything to pursue in the first place. Catherine had too many responsibilities, too much of a reputation to keep up, whatever it was that was hanging in the air between them, it would be a lost cause. It would never be. It was best just to get over this and move on.

The fire fades away
Most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's to hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're the other side of the world to me

Sara chose that moment to look up, catching Catherine's eye. Catherine locked eyes with the younger CSI, forcing her to keep looking. The wordless conversation held between them said it all. Sara could read Catherine's eyes, was she really thinking the same? A wave of panic rushed over Sara, her forbidden crush maybe wasn't safe anymore, maybe it was answered.

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along

Catherine saw Sara's eyes change. The brunette was a solid rock when it came to feelings, but her eyes, they gave away everything. And right now Catherine saw panic, because Catherine had showed her something. She didn't want Sara to panic so she broke the eye contact and continued pretending to read the magazine. Sara followed Catherine and continued reading her own magazine.

Catherine's mind was working overtime. Sara returned the feelings; she had just seen it in her eyes. This wasn't good, this would mean trouble. How could she still work with Sara after knowing this? They couldn't give in to those feelings, what would Lindsay think about her mother dating a woman? What would Grissom think? No, they had to let go, both of them.

Can you help me
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore

Sara's mind was working at top speed. Catherine was an open book, and her eyes didn't lie, ever. Sara had seen it in Catherine's eyes, there was something there. But she knew they could never pursue whatever that was, it was highly inappropriate. Even though it would be good, but aren't all good things bad for you? Sara took one last look at the beautiful blonde sitting across the room before getting up and leaving the break room. There were a million excuses to why they shouldn't become more than friends, even though she was growing tired of having to sum them up to herself when her mind would get irrational and started following her heart's desire.

As Sara left the break room Catherine looked up at her, both women smiled apologetically at each other, both summing up the millions of excuses why they shouldn't go there.