Chapter 13
Sara awoke with a start, surprised to find it dark. Her sleep had been restless and her dreams haunted. She sat up and turned on a lamp before staggering to the kitchen to make coffee. She had no desire for food so she wandered back to the couch with her cup and sat down. Checking her watch she realized she only had an hour and a half before she had to face her colleagues. Just the thought had tears welling in her eyes. Angrily she wiped them away and blew out a steadying breath. She eventually headed for the shower. Standing under the hot spray she replayed last night's scene with Grissom. She had known he was going to be upset but she honestly thought they had moved past the point of him pushing her away. When the water turned cold she got out of the shower and dried off listlessly. She stood in front of her closet without really seeing what was in it. She finally pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Once she was dressed, she pulled her hair into a pony tail and headed out the door.
She arrived at the lab without a minute to spare. She clocked in, stowed her stuff and went into the break room. Nick, Greg and Warrick were sitting around the table. All three gave her sympathetic looks but didn't say anything. Feeling the tears threatening again she mumbled a greeting and quickly made her way to the coffee pot. She had just sat down when Catherine walked in.
The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife so Catherine wasted no time handing out assignments. In a brisk manner she paired Greg with Warrick and sent Nick out solo. She asked Sara to stay at the lab and continue working on a case from the previous day. Once the three men had left, she took a seat beside Sara. "I tried to call you several times. Why didn't you answer your phone?"
"I couldn't talk to anyone. Sorry," Sara said. Her voice was rough with unshed tears. "I needed to be alone."
"Sara, no one should be alone at a time like this. Why don't you tell me what happened?" Catherine said, reaching over to take Sara's hand.
"He asked me to leave," Sara said. There was so much pain wrapped around those words that Catherine's heart broke for her. "He sent me away without a second thought."
"Oh, honey, you know him better than anyone. You know that he is licking his wounds. He has been a different person the past few months. This will all work out." Catherine silently said a prayer that what she said was true. Gil could be a very stubborn man when he wanted to.
"You know, Cath, I just don't know. I hope you're right but I have been rejected by him one too many times to really believe that," Sara said with a sad smile. "Come on, I need to work or I'm going to go crazy."
"Wait, before you go, the sheriff wants you in his office at 8 o'clock in the morning. You can have an advocate with you if you want," Catherine said gently. "Take Brass with you. He knows what's going on and wants to help. The sheriff is also going to talk to all of us. I just thought you should know."
"Great, just great," Sara moaned. She stood up and strode from the room.
Sara made the usual rounds, gathering reports regarding the evidence she and Greg had brought in the previous night. People were friendly enough but she could feel their questioning eyes on her back as she walked away from them. When she had everything that was available, she sat down at her computer and started the report. Having done all she could, she picked up her cell phone and placed a call to Brass.
"Jim Brass," he answered in his sharp New Jersey accent.
"Brass, hi, it's Sara." Her voice was tentative; as if she were afraid he would hang up.
"Hey, Sara," Brass' voice softened. "How you doing?"
"I've been better," she said.
"I know. Is there anything I can do?" His concern came through the phone and touched her heart.
"Um, yeah actually, I have a…uh…meeting in the morning. Could you go with me as my advocate?" Even now Sara had a hard time asking for help.
"Yeah, I can do that. How about I swing by there and walk over with you? Say about 7:45," he suggested.
"Okay. That would be good," Sara said and then added quickly, "oh and Brass – thanks."
"Don't worry, Sara, everything will be fine." With that he ended the call leaving Sara sitting with a bemused expression. Brass could be gruff but he was the kind of friend everyone should have.
The shift passed slowly. Catherine tried calling Grissom to make sure he was alright but got no answer. She was seriously debating another trip to his house when her phone rang. Glancing at the caller id she was relieved to see Gil's name pop up.
"Willows," she said.
"Catherine, it's Gil," he said.
"Where have you been? I have been trying to call you. Are you okay?" she said quickly.
"As good as can be expected," he admitted. "I wanted to find out how things are going."
"If you are asking about the lab everything is fine. If you're asking about Sara then everything is not fine. Gil, please talk to her." Catherine said quietly. "I have seen her angry but I have never seen her like this. She is in so much pain that it hurts me to look at her. She loves you, Gil, and deserves better."
"Cath, I can't talk to her right now. What would I say? My entire career is on the line and I need to concentrate on getting out of this mess." The weariness in his voice almost convinced Catherine to retreat but she took one last shot.
"Gil, does your career keep you warm at night? Does it hold your hand or scratch your back? Does it cook you dinner or laugh at your weird jokes? Does it hold you tight when you feel like the world is against you?" Catherine paused for a second and then said, "You don't have to say anything because I already know the answers."
"Cath…" Gil started to say.
"Shut up, Gil," she snapped. "You're making a mistake and I hope you see that soon."
"Catherine, I need to go. Call if you need me," Grissom said before breaking the connection.
Sara had spent the entire shift hoping Grissom would call. Her mood had become progressively worse as each hour passed. She was staring into space, her mind a million miles away, when Brass' knock brought her back to earth. Looking up, she said, "Hey. Is it time already?"
"Almost. I just wanted to talk for a minute first." Brass said and smiled crookedly. "I've heard what people have been saying and Ecklie is making some very ugly accusations. I don't want you to be caught off guard."
"I can imagine what people have been saying. Ecklie is a worm. He can't find another way to get Grissom out of the lab." Sara's voice was bitter. "Brass, you know I would never sleep with Grissom to further my career. My God, if it was just about sex I wouldn't have put up with the shit I've put up with."
"Sara, I don't think that's the right thing to say to the sheriff," he joked hoping to earn a smile. When none was forthcoming, he said, "Okay, let's go."
Sara stood and followed Brass out the door. They walked down the hall without talking. When they reached the sheriff's officehis secretary asked them to have a seat. She picked upthe telephone and informed the sheriff of their arrival. Brass sat bent over with his elbows on his knees. He rubbed his hands over his face and glanced warily in Sara's direction. She was sitting stiffly with her hands clasped in her lap. Her skin was so pale she didn't look human. Her eyes looked huge in her drawn face. Catching Brass studying her she tried to smile. The door to the sheriff's private office opened and Nick walked out.
Stopping in front of Sara, he said, "Don't worry. We all know the truth." Sara looked at him for a few seconds and then nodded. He smiled and walked away.
"The sheriff will see you now," the secretary said with a smile.
Rising, Brass motioned for Sara to precede him. "Thanks," he said to the woman with a half smile.
The sheriff was standing behind his desk and motioned them in. "Have a seat, Ms. Sidle, Captain Brass. Thank you for coming." He waited until they were both settled before being seated. "Ms. Sidle do you know why you are here?" he asked.
"Yes, sir, I do," Sara replied calmly.
"Good. That will save some time. I need to ask you some very personal questions and I want you to tell me the truth. Captain Brass will make sure I don't step out of line." He smiled briefly and opened a file that was in the middle of his desk. "First let me say that you are not under investigation for anything, Dr. Grissom is. There are serious allegations of sexual harassment being made against him and I am trying to get to the bottom of this. Okay so far?"
Sara nodded and tried to hold her composure. Sexual harassment was a political powder keg and Grissom wasn't the most political creature.
Seeing Sara's nod the sheriff continued, "Now, Ms. Sidle, are you now or have you ever been involved in a sexual relationship with Dr. Grissom?"
"Yes," Sara said quietly.
""When did this relationship begin?" the sheriff continued.
"Um…about six months ago." Sara refused to meet Brass' stunned gaze.
The sheriff was taking notes as he asked, "Did Dr. Grissom ever ask you to perform sexual acts in exchange for overtime?"
"No," Sara snapped.
"Did he ever offer you a promotion or salary increase in exchange for sexual favors," the sheriff continued in a calm voice.
"No," she said, her outrage building. Brass laid a hand on her arm in a calming gesture.
"Do you recall an incident involving your behaving in an insubordinate manner with Mr. Ecklie and Ms. Willows?" the sheriff seemed to pin her to the chair with his gaze.
"Yes, I know which incident you are talking about," Sara said, a little puzzled by this question.
"Dr. Grissom was ordered to fire you and yet here we sit. Does that seem a little odd to you, Ms. Sidle?" The sheriff looked up, waiting on her answer.
Sara glanced at Brass who leaned over and whispered, "Did you understand the question?" At the shake of her head he looked at the sheriff and said, "I'm afraid we don't understand what you're asking. Is it odd that we are here or that she wasn't fired or that Gil was ordered to fire her?" Brass shrugged in bewilderment.
The sheriff gave a tight smile and said, "I need to know why Dr. Grissom didn't fire her?"
"I can't answer that question. I am not privy to the thoughts of Dr. Grissom," Sara said haughtily.
"Did you offer to have sex with Dr. Grissom in order to keep your job?" His blunt question took Sara by surprise.
"No," she shouted. "I never made such an offer, not that it would have been accepted anyway. Dr. Grissom is the most honorable man I have ever had the privilege to work for. For you to question his integrity is completely out of line." Her hands were shaking and she gripped the arms of the chair to still them.
"Sara," Brass warned, "calm down."
"Ms. Sidle, I appreciate how hard this is for you but it's necessary. If I don't ask then I have no choice but to believe Mr. Ecklie's story. Surely you can understand that I am trying to be fair." The sheriff held Sara's gaze with his own until she dropped her eyes.
Nodding she said, "I understand."
"Good," he said, "now let's get this wrapped up. Do you agree with Mr. Ecklie's allegations of sexual harassment?"
"Absolutely not," Sara said emphatically. "Grissom has never abused his position in that way. He has never made any comments that would lead me to believe otherwise. Sheriff, I believe that my record proves that I don't have to fuck to keep my job. I am a good CSI. Check the stats, they'll speak for themselves."
The sheriff sat quietly for a moment and then, standing, he said, "Ms. Sidle, thank you for coming. Captain Brass. I appreciate your candor."
Sara and Brass rose and left through the door they had entered fifteen minutes before. Sitting in the reception area were Warrick and Nick. Sara stopped long enough to say, "You know this is bullshit, right?" When they both nodded she gave them a half smile and said, "Thanks," before walking out the door.
Sara unlocked the front door of her apartment. She was so tired she should probably sleep for a week. Pushing open the door, she stopped and stared. Slowly she closed the door behind her and walked half way across the room before pausing. "Hey," she said tentatively, "how did you get here?"
His eyes searched her face, taking note of her pallor and the circles under her eyes. "Catherine brought me," Grissom said as he stood and walked over to meet her.