Guys and Dolls

Jack O'Neill sat at the briefing room table with Colonel Carter and Daniel Jackson with a bewildered look. "So, the giant planet wasn't a giant planet?" Jack looked at Colonel Carter and Daniel Jackson.

"No, we figured out the telemetry of the wormhole went back to earth itself, we went through some Ancient device that was given in the gate address, and it funneled the wormhole down to miniature size. Thus connecting to the little Stargate and we emerged from the funned wormhole at around two inches in height. When we dialed home the processed was reversed and we emerged normal size." Carter explained.

"Which is consistent with what I have deciphered on the tablet, it states that the traveler, that would be us; would be given a new set of eye's. Seeing things from a new perspective." Daniel concluded.

"Two inches high?" Jack's eyebrow went up. "The little girl with the little gate," Jack motioned his hands together to represent the small gate, "she has cancer?"

"Yes, sir." Carter replied. "Abigail."

"We need to get that gate from her, Jack." Daniel told him.

"The problem with that is finding the gate. When the gate activates it gives off tremors that can be picked up on sensors for measuring earthquakes. The problem here is the little gate is so small that it won't be measurable when it activates." Colonel Carter informed him.

"So, how do we find it?" Jack wondered.

"Well, we either lock out the address and never dial it again or we go back to the girl's bedroom and find out where she lives." Daniel suggested. "I'm in favor of going back."

"I am to, sir." Colonel Carter replied.

Jack O'Neill sat back in his chair. "It leads to a small girl's bedroom?" He thought about the situation. "I will be sending you back and I'm coming with you."

"Yes, sir." Colonel Carter replied.

Abigail sat at her dresser watching for the little gate to work once more. She tried to press the small buttons in the mushroom shaped DHD down but it would not work. Her fingertips were too big. Suddenly the tiny inner ring started to turn, she knew it did that right before the water came, she peered at it and anxiously waited for her friends from the SGC to come back and visit her. The water presented itself and out of the blue reflective energy came small men, dressed like knights with headgear on that resembled a snake's head. They carried long sticks and were taken by the giant child who sat and peered at them.

Ba'al finally emerged from the gate; he stood back and looked around him and at the huge face that smiled down on him. Ba'al went blanche; all color left his face as he looked up at the towering child.

Abigail thought he funny and giggled at him. "Hi, who are you?" She asked him.

"I…I am Ba'al. Your G…" He stumbled for his famous line of deity declaration.

"I'm Abigail. Who named you Ball? That's a silly name. You look like your name should be Bill." Abigail told him.

His First Prime had the weapon trained upon the child, He fired off his Jaffa staff weapon but it did not reach Abigail. It dissipated in mid air like a toy with a dying battery. "Is your little sticks not working?" Abigail asked.

Ba'al glared at his First Prime. "I don't believe it would be effective on her, you fool."

"Bill, where did you come from?" Abigail asked. "Do you have a tiny planet too? Why are your little men wearing those silly helmets? Can you play with me?"

"It's Ba'al." Ba'al told her and then looked around at his First prime and the other Jaffa that came through with them. "Where are we…Abigail?" Ba'al asked in a clam voice.

"My room." The girl replied.

"And where is that?" Ba'al continued.

"Upstairs in my house?" Abigail told him.

Ba'al let out a frustrated breath and rolled his eyes. "Where is your house?"

"Here." She told him. "I live on Town House street. See, we have a big street with lots of buildings." She pointed out the window that revealed the gray and rainy day. "When it's nice out I can go out and play." She went back the Goa'uld and the Jaffa on her dresser top. "Where do you live Ba'al? Do you have a house and live on a nice street with lots of kids?"

"I live in a ship." Ba'al replied. He peered over the edge of the dresser and looked down at the drop. For a man two inches high it was like looking straight down from a skyscraper.

"Is it a big ship?" Abigail loved to gab with new people she met.

"Yes, it is." Ba'al replied.

"You wanna see my dollhouse Bill?" Abigail asked.

"It's Ba'al." He repeated.

"Ball, let's pretend your name is Bill." Abigail told him. "You wanna play with me? We can play a game, how about charades?" Abigail asked.

"No." Ba'al replied. "Gods do not play games."

"Are you God?" Abigail had a strange look upon her face. "I thought you would be bigger." Ba'al threw his First Prime a look as the man sucked in his breath. "If you are God, can I ask you a question?"

Ba'al simply nodded. "What is it?" He walked the edge of the dresser looking around the room.

"Why do I have cancer? Why did you make me sick? I don't like being sick. I throw up a lot and I'm cold all the time. Mommy cries a lot now that I'm sick. Why won't my cancer go into remission? Will daddy be waiting for me in heaven? I never met my Daddy, will I like him, and does he like me?"

Ba'al could not answer the questions. "I don't know." He told her.

"Then you're not God, are you?" Abigail replied.

"I'm their God, not you're God." Ba'al told her.

"Then why do you have to be their God, doesn't God exist in your tiny world too? God created everything, including me. If you don't know why God made me sick, then you can't be God." Abigail told him.

"I am a God to the Jaffa." He replied once more, dodging her questions.

The gate soon came to life again and Abigail wondered who would be coming now. "Did you bring more friends, Bill?"

Ba'al scowled "Ba'al." Replied.

Out of the event horizon SG-1 appeared with General O'Neill. They saw the Goa'uld and they immediately raised their weapons and began firing as Ba'als men opened fire on them. SG-1 dove for cover and Abigail got mad.

"That's enough, Bill you and your friends play nice." Her fingers came down and picked the tiny staff weapons out of the Jaffa's hands. She held out her hand to SG-1. "You too, hand the tiny guns over."

Jack looked at the giant child who just ordered them to behave. "She sure is big." Jack commented.

"Did she just take all their weapons?" Daniel asked to confirm what he saw.

Her giant hand was resting in front of them. "Hand them over, if you and Bill can't play nice, you will be sent to the corner."

Jack and SG-1 suddenly felt like little kids being scolded. They looked at one another and at Ba'al and his men. "We will disarm only if Ba'al and his Jaffa fully disarm." Jack stated defiantly.

Ba'al looked back at his men, he had the numbers on his side. He had superior weapons and more than enough motivation to destroy SG-1 once and for all. Then he looked at the giant child who ruled over them. He suddenly felt like a mere play thing and nodded for his men to comply with the child's orders.

All the tiny weapons were piled onto Abigail's hand. She took the weapons and put them in Play-Doh can and put the lid on it. "In my room you play by my rules and I say no shooting." The girl told them. "Who wants to have a tea party?"

She went over to her dollhouse and got out the miniatures for them to sit on, she brought the table and chairs back to the dresser top and placed them in front of the little soldiers and Jaffa. Jack looked at the girl and could see she was sick as well and soon he felt sorry for her, and wanted to make her cancer go away so she could be a normal child once more.

"Here you go." Abigail told them as she placed the chairs next to the table. She got out miniature cups and plates from the dollhouse kitchen. "Let me get an eye dropper to fill your tea cups with." She disappeared into the bathroom off her room.

Ba'al sat down at the table, wondering to himself if the child was a supreme being. Jack sat down across from him. "So, Bill." Jack started "Why did you come here, are going to play with Abigail too?"

"I didn't realize the address would lead here." Ba'al told them. "Eye dropper?" He asked himself.

Abigail returned with a paper cup of water and an eyedropper to fill the cups with. She gently squeezed the water drops into each cup at the table. Jack watched at the large eyedropper dropped the water into his cup; he looked up and gave Abigail a slight smile. "Thank you." He yelled up at her.

Ba'al scowled at the water and then gave his host a rehearsed smile as she filled his miniature cup with water for the tea party. "What do you say, Bill?" Abigail asked.

"Yes, what do you say…Bill." Jack repeated with a smirk.

"Than you." Ba'al mumbled.

Jack put his hand to his ear. "What was that, I didn't quite catch."

"Thank…you." Ba'al repeated as he glared at O'Neill.

"See, it is possible for a Goa'uld to have some manners." Jack exclaimed.

"What's a Gold?" The girl asked.

"Goa'uld," Abigail. "It's Goa'uld." Daniel then explained. "They are actually a symbiant species that think they are god."

"But Bill is not God." Abigail told him. "He's too silly to be God."

Jack smiled from ear to ear. "Bill's a silly God."

Ba'al glared at him for the insult. "Eventually the tea party will end."

"Oh, I'm counting it." Jack told him, "But for now, cheers." he picked up the tiny mug from the dollhouse and took a sip of the cold tap water. "Best tea I ever had." He told Abigail. She held her chin in her hands and her elbows on the dresser top and then looked at Ba'al. "You have to try it too…Bill." Jack mocked him.

Ba'al picked up the cup and took his sip of tap water. He smirked and put the cup back down. "Thank you." He told his hostess.

"Ah, Come one Bill. Haven't you ever played Tea Party before?" Jack taunted. "You have to tell her how good it is." Jack made Abigail giggle, "This is terrific, the best I've ever had." he looked at Ba'al. "Tell her how good it is, Bill."

"It's acceptable." Ba'al replied and Jack glared at him.

"You can do better than that, Bill." Jack liked calling him Bill.

"It's very…good." Ba'al gave Abigail a nod and then continued his stare down with O'Neill.

Sam whispered to Daniel. "I never thought I would see Jack O'Neill and Ba'al sitting down to have tea together."

"I never knew that Jack knew how to play Tea Party." Daniel replied.