Nick
Well here's the fourth chapter in 'But For Now', sorry but this ones a bit depressing as well, but hey it just fits my mood right now! It's been the most difficult one to write so far and I've tried to stay as true to the actual character as I can, which is the same with anything that I write, but if I've strayed and ruined the way you think of anything I'm truly sorry! Any way I hope that you enjoy reading this and as always any constructive criticism is welcomed. Thanks for reading!
He's spent years looking over his shoulder, amazed that no ones noticed or at least commented. There's so much that he can't say to anyone about why, mainly he's scared that they won't understand, that they'll think less of him. He's never been able to wear his heart on his sleeve.
He's tired of always feeling like the underdog, the dumb one that needs everything to be explained in simple terms. Tired of being told he watches too much TV whenever he has a random fact or something interesting to say. Tired of being treated with kid gloves.
He can see them watching him, looking, checking that he's not going to suddenly break. The same looks they had when Nigel Crane was sat on the other side of the glass repeating 'I am one, and who am I?' He knows that they care and are only looking out for him, but there's only so much he can take.
They stop watching eventually, and then act like nothing ever happened, just sinking back to their normal ways. He sees them all as his family, except here he's not living under any ones shadow. He's proud of everything he's achieved since leaving Texas, and would rather forget some things.
But for now he'll keep doing what he's doing while praying that one day he can stop looking over his shoulder and actually talk about what he's feeling. He knows that one day he won't be the underdog and everything will fall into place. Until then he knows that they will support him, let him know that everything's ok, just like any family should.
I just want to say sorry now for getting the Nigel Crane quote wrong, if I have, I couldn't get hold of a transcript and I couldn't find my DVD to see if I was right or not! I'm also looking for someone to proof read my work before I post it so if anyone wants to help just send me a message and let me know! Again thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it!