Chapter 8: Nothing to Lose

"Theirs nothing we can do… He can die a slow painless death… it was a heart attack… I'm so sorry Nelly…" Is all I could here in my head playing over and over again. It was my father's death all over again. Takakura was not dead yet though, but everyone thought he wouldn't live through the heart attack. He lay in his bed hardly breathing and I had stayed by his side crying most of the day. Cliff had come in off and on… not talking just checking in. I knew he was concerned about two things. First was if he was going to get to work here anymore and second he was worried about Takakura. He didn't talk to me he lift me alone but he was slowly getting on my nerves. In and out in and out couldn't he stay still? About the tenth time of going in and out I grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him outside.

"What in the hell are you doing! He's dyeing! Stay or go pick one!" I screeched at him still a little teary eyed. "I have to go back in now but you need to decide instead of irritating the crap out of me by going in and out like that!" He just nodded and went into the barn. I took a deep breath and went back into Takakura house that was once full of light and happiness but now it was dark and dreary. I sat for a few more hours and then watched him pass on slowly. I cried even harder when I saw him stop breathing. It's like being covered in luke warm water. I felt like I was suddenly all alone. What was I going to do now? I ran out of the house into the fog of the morning. It was a chilly spring morning and very hard to see in the fog. I collapsed by the beach and in the cool sand I cried. Sometimes that's all you can do.

"Nelly! There you are!" I herd a voice and looked behind me. It was Cliff. Running after me and sat down on the sand next to me.

"So… he's… dead?" Cliff said trying to look emotionless but it wasn't working, but why was he sad? He knew him for a week! God I had known him my whole life! I wanted to chock him but instead I decided not to be violent and chew him out instead.

"How can you be sad! You knew him for a week!" I screamed in his face.

"I still cared about him. He was nice to me and gave me a place to live… He was a very nice man but he was getting old… things happen." He was acting as if his dog died instead of a person that I knew and cared about. Takakura was like my father for the past month and a half. He helped me with the farm, made me feel better when I was down, and I could ask him anything. Now not being able to see him alive again was too much to bare.

"So you probably will be moving around again right?" I asked Cliff trying to look tough and emotionless. I didn't want him to see me cry so hard.

"Well… only if you want me to but ya know its really nice here and if you will let me can I stay for a while longer?" Is he crazy! I thought to myself.

"I don't have any money to pay you with cliff." I said brushing the hair away from my eyes.

"No I don't want money… Just the room I have been staying in… I will even still do some of the farm work… its just that I don't have anywhere else to go Nel and if I travel I might not find a job for a long time." He said so sad and pathetic that it almost made me feel sorry for him… almost. It annoyed me that he called me Nel only good friends and family called me Nel. But wouldn't it be weird having him around in my house? He was there before but only because Takakura said so.

"Fine." I said getting up and pushing Cliff back in the sand as he was trying to get up. "But call me Nel again and you're out of the house in an instant." He started cussing at me under his breath but oh well I guess the Cliff I was starting to get along with was gone but what would life be like now?

The funeral was really sad and I didn't even go. Some thought it was disrespectful but they didn't know how hard it was for me. I was now alone in the world besides mom who was so far away. 'Maybe I should go home.' I thought as I saw everyone starting to head home. I was in the barn brushing Mari and she seamed happy enough. I had really started to get along with the animals. It had not been this way before but now they trusted me. I watched them all go and leave the house he was going to be bared at the top of the hill. I let small tears flow for the last time. I wasn't going to cry anymore. Everyone had seamed to leave by now so I thought I would sneak into the house and get something to eat. To bad I ran into Marlin on my way out of the barn.

"Hey." I said wiping my eyes and giving him a small smile. "Anyone else in there?"

"Ya almost everyone is still here except Rock and his parents they left a few minutes ago. I came out to make sure you were all right. Everyone's worried about you." I didn't look at him. It was to hard to be around people right now.

"I'm ok." I said quietly. I must have been very unconvincing because he gave me a sympathetic look.

"Do… do you want to go somewhere?" he asked as his voice started to shake. He was getting nervous… but why?

"Ya lets do something I can't stand to be around all this sad stuff for much longer." I answered as we walked off. Me and Marlin had walked around town so many times we almost had a routine we would go through but this time he was acting weird and that made me nervous.

"Is something wrong?" I asked looking at the poor guy who was shaking like crazy.

"Its nothing." Was all I got from him. We then sat by the beach, as we all know my favorite spot. I felt a wired feeling though it was sort of a vibe. I decided to ask Marlin what was wrong again. To bad I have no tact.

"Come on what in the heck's the matter?" I asked now trying to look him in the eye and when he didn't give me eye contact I came closer.

"Well…" He started but then stopped as I gave him a grumpy look. I was getting frustrated and had no patience today.

"Spit it out Marlin and no bull shit kay?" I said hoping he wouldn't lie to me now. I was known to tell fibs when I was nervous and didn't want to talk about things.

"Well I guess my first question is, is Cliff still living in you're house?"

"He gets Takakuras room an tell he can find a job I talked to him today about it and well, pushed him in the sand. I am such a mean person aren't I?" I asked now thinking about if that had happened to me. Of course I would have killed the person that had pushed me but that was the difference between me and the rest of the people in town it seamed. I showed no compassion for people and that was only because I'm a little anti social. To tell you the truth even though I hadn't talked to Namie much we would probably get along!

"You're not mean Nel just self spoken. Some people would love to be like you." I just looked at him like he was crazy.

"Ha like who would ever want to be me?" I asked smirking.

"I would kill to be able to run around town like it was no big deal ever day. I would kill to be able to tell someone off or…" He stopped briefly but then continued. "…Be able to tell someone my true feelings." I then sat up a little starter as I assumed he was talking about Celia.

"Aw Marlin! You like Celia and you want to tell her how you feel!" I squealed happily. Marlin didn't smile back. "Um… that is what you're talking about… right?" I asked as he started to shake is head.

"No that's not what I was talking about Nel because it's another girl, not Celia."

"But I thought you really liked Celia Marlin, and she's so sweet and I think she could really like you to!" I said a little sad that him and Celia wouldn't be together.

"I use to like Celia tell this new girl came to town now I think I really have fallen in love." What? I was a little slow on what he just said but once it registered I moved away from his face now noticing how close I was.

"Mmmeee?" I stuttered. "You like me? How long, why, when, oh god why didn't I see the signs?" I said now feeling really dumb.

"I really like you Nelly but could you ever feel the same way about me?" This was all so serious and weird. My best friend had just told me he loved me.

"Maybe." Was all I could say I had never even thought of Marlin in that way this was new and strange but sort of sweet. "For now I better get back and clean up the little funeral get together." Marlin nodded and grabbed my hand gently. We walked to my farm together and for that moment even though Takakura had died it seamed I had someone new to look after me.

This is not the original just to let you all know. It kind of a quick re-write because I deleted chapter 8 some how but I'm back! With both bad news and good news! Ok bad news 1st I am not planing on continuing Timber maybe one more chapter. Sorry but that story annoys me because everything goes right! Its hard to have conflict when everyone wants there character so perfect oh well its still been a good experience but I am now writing a Naruto and Fruits Basket fan fic so I have my hands full! The good news I have Angel Tears written up to chapter 14! YAY! So I will start posting every Saturday. So I hope you all aren't to disappoint and maybe I will change my mind about Timber but for now she's gone! I didn't write all of the next chapter it is also some of my friend Jessie's doing. she decided it needed a love seen whoops I spilled the beans! Oh well read on everyone it's a great chapter good job Jessie and me!

Chapter 9 away! -----