The two boys stood in front of the old house just staring at it as if it was going to get up and leave at any moment. Marco shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed deeply. He wasn't afraid of the house itself for it was a place of comfort for him and he had some of his best memories there. It was what was waiting inside that made him want to huddle up in a corner and hide. There were no monsters or ghosts, just an old fashioned Italian couple who were just as confused as their son who they didn't know was standing right outside.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Dylan asked his boyfriend after standing in the driveway next to him for a few long moments. "We could always just-"
"No. I came here for a reason and I'm not going to leave until I know what that reason is." Marco took a few more steps towards his front door but stopped before he climbed up the steps. "Dylan," He whispered to the boy who had followed him up to his house. "I think I should do this alone. I'm sorry but…"
"It's okay. I understand." He wrapped his arms around Marco's smaller figure and hugged him tightly. "I'll be waiting in the car. If anything bad happens just come to me." He let go of Marco and smiled reassuringly before walking back to the car and hopping inside.
Marco turned back towards the door that seemed to loom over him condescendingly but he climbed up the steps anyway. He folded up his hand in a fist and prepared to knock on it but the fear of it being shut back in his face stopped him. Instead he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a tiny silver key. A house key. HIS house key. He slipped it into the doorknob and turned it until it made a soft click and he pushed it open. He was overwhelmed with the light atmosphere and the sweet smells that flowed through his senses as he stepped inside and took it all in. He had no choice now; this had to happen at this moment.
His steps felt loud but he couldn't hear them over his heart which was thumping in his ears. It raced as he closed the door behind him and everything felt as if it was in slow motion when he turned into his dining room and found the faces of his parents staring back at him. He froze in mid-step and almost didn't resist the urge to run back out the door. He looked at his mom then at his dad. He didn't see the face he expected which in his mind would be just full of anger and fury as the night he had been thrown out. But instead wore an expression of surprise, confusion, and maybe even a bit of… happiness?
"Ma," He stuttered with welled up emotion that was caught in a lump in his trough. "Pa?" His eyes were sowing how much he longed to run into his mother's arms but he stopped himself and waited for their first move.
"Marco?" Mrs. Del Rossi asked as if she would wake up and this would be some dream. She got up from her seat before rushing to her son and pulling him into a warm embrace. He put his head on her shoulder and he felt the silent sobs escaping her.
"I'm sorry Ma. I'm so sorry." He whispered hoarsely into her ear. She let go of him slightly and turned to face her husband who was still in the same position he had been in before. Not wanting to meet her gaze he dropped it down to the floor in shame.
What had he done? He kicked his only son out of his house which tore his wife's heart and soul out with him He had heard her cry every night since the whole incident in the hospital. But he still didn't know what to do. His whole proud family line would probably end here with Marco, because for some reason that he couldn't begin to fathom why he liked boys. His son was a fag and he hated to have to admit it. But he still loved him and was scared that he had lost him forever.
"Pa, please…" His son's soft voice floated to his ears and he looked up into his teary eyes. "I didn't mean to let you down, but I can't stop being who I am. Please understand…"
"That is not who you are. You're just confused. Stop talking like your some…"
"Some what? What Pa? I'm not confused about anything. I know what I am. I'm gay!" Tears poured down his cheeks as he finally let all of his emotion out onto his father.
"You are not gay. Stop saying that!" He roared standing up from his seat. He said gay like he said "trash" with the same hints of disgust in his voice.
"Yes I am. This is who I am and you need to accept that! Please Pa… I need you to accept me. Please…" His eyes pleaded with his father even more then his words seem to.
"Marco, why are you doing this? Is it something you're mad at me for?"
"I'm not mad at you and I'm not doing this in spite. I didn't choose to be gay. But that doesn't mean I'm going to hide it forever." His hands were facing palm up and he emphasized every word with the motions. "Pa…"
Without saying a word Mr. Del Rossi turned away from his son and stepped a few paces resting his hand on the table. "How can you expect me to accept this? My son is saying he likes boys and he wants me to accept it. You will stop talking about such nonsense."
Before Marco had a chance to respond he left the room and a deathly quiet house in his wake.
"It will be all right Marco. He just needs time." His mother placed his hand on his shoulder and made him turn towards her.
"I've already given him so much time. He won't even listen to me." His bottom lip quivered and he dropped his head to his chest. "But I'm still coming back. I need my bed." He looked back up at his mother and plastered a smile onto his lips. "Thank you."
He walked back out the door and to Dylan's car.
"Is everything all right? Are you okay?" He started up immediately and jumped out of the car.
"Yes and no. He still won't listen to me but I am going to stay at home. Thank you for everything Dylan." He stood up on his tip-toes and kissed his boyfriend gently on the cheek. Dylan smiled at him happily and grabbed Marco's bag which they had picked up on the way here.
"Remember, if anything happens I'll be there for you. Just call me." He hugged Marco one last time before handing him his bag and getting back in his car. Marco watched him drive away and didn't go back to his house until it was out of is line of sight.
"Marco, eat something. You look too skinny." His mother chided as he shut the front door behind him. "I still have some lasagna left."
Marco was hungry but he was too worried to eat anything even though it would do him good. "That's ok Ma. I'm just going to go to bed. It's been an exhausting day." He continued to his room and flopped down on his bed. His sheets smelled like he had remembered and before he could even get under them he had fallen asleep.
Marco walked to the dining room and stopped when he met the gaze of his father who quickly looked away. He continued to his normal seat and his mother scooped some oatmeal into his bowl. His gaze stayed on his dad who refused to look at him.
"Pa…" Still no response. He was trying to keep his emotions under control but this wasn't making it any easier. "Pa!" He said a little louder and he finally looked up. "Are we going to talk about this?"
"Talk about what?" Mr. Del Rossi shoved a spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth so he didn't have to talk anymore.
"That I'm gay. I don't mean to be so blunt but I need you to understand."
"I have no son that is gay…"
"Yes you do. And all he wants to do is make you happy."
"Happy? If you wanted to make me happy you would stop with this gay stuff"
"I can't just stop it. If I could then I would." His dad returned to look at his bowl of oatmeal and Marco let out an angry sigh. "Fine. I need to get to school."
Marco stormed from the dining room and they heard the door slam as he proceeded outside. Marco walked briskly towards the school and was almost in tears by the time he got there. How could his dad still be pretending this would all go away? He made his way to the bathroom not even caring to stop by his locker. When he got there he locked himself in a stall and sat on the toilet, cupping his head in his hands. He heard the sound of the school bell faintly and realized he was going to be late for class, but for some reason he didn't care.
He didn't want to care. That's why all of this happened. Because he cared too much. He cared about what his father thought of him so he was sitting in a bathroom worried as hell about it. He cared that Spinner had left him for dead so now Gavin was the one in a hospital because of him. He cared that his dad had thrown him out so he tried to go make it right but failed miserably. That was all he had to do. Stop caring all together.
Marco unfolded himself from the toilet and walked out of the stall with his bag. He continued out the front doors of the school and didn't stop for anything. He didn't know where he was going but it didn't matter because he didn't care. He walked down a street that led to downtown with his hands in his pockets and his eyes searching for anyplace that could take the rest of his cares away.
That's exactly what he needed. Something to take his cares away. His gaze drifted to The Furnace Yard Bar and he stepped up to its doorway hastily. Alcohol could take his cares away. He stepped inside and was shot strange looks from customers as he made his way to a bar stool and sat down. "Hey you." He motioned to the bartender behind the counter. "Can I get a beer?"
"Nice try kid. Come back when you're legal." The bartender walked away from Marco and continued his earlier conversation. Marco huffed lightly and turned his seat around to face the rest of the bar. He didn't pay attention to anyone in particular except for this one woman who kept looking at him. She seemed very familiar but he couldn't place where they had met. After a while she got up and made her way through the bustling crowd towards Marco and sat down next to him.
"You don't really look like the type of guy who tries to drink underage." She said smiling at him wildly.
"I never have before. I just care way too much and I need to stop. This seemed like good way to accomplish it." He looked over at her and took in her slender form. A slight shock hit him when he remembered exactly where he had seen her from. She was the nurse in the hospital who had helped him with his father. "Maria?"
"So you do recognize me. How has everything been going?" She was sincerely concerned and was sad to see a frown spread across Marco's lips.
"I went back to my house. My dad thinks I'm doing this to spite him. He won't accept me at all." He looked away from her across the other end of the bar. "Doesn't matter though. I don't care."
"I think you do. That's why you seem to think booze will take that away. It might, for a while. But it all comes back when you're sober again." Marco turned back to her searching her face for insincerity but he found none.
"Then I'll just have to stay drunk. If I could get my hands on anything that is…" He sighed deeply. His idea seemed to make sense. To himself anyway.
"Marco, don't do this. You're a good kid. This will just mess things up even more." She put her hand on his shoulder and cocked her head to one side.
"I don't care. If it got any worse it would be a small miracle. I don't care." He looked over at the bartender once more before standing up. "If I can't get my buzz here I'll just have to find another way."
He walked outside before Maria had a chance to stop him but she followed him out the door anyways. "Marco I don't want to see you hurt."
"You can't stop me." He said to her as she jogged up beside him.
"I know I can't. But if this is your choice I can at least come along." She smiled at him and he put his arm around her shoulder.
"That, I think, will work out just fine my friend." They stopped at the nearest liquor store and Marco waited outside as Maria bought a 6-pack of beer for them.
"Let me pay you back." He pleaded.
"Naw, think of it as a gift. Over here." She pulled him towards the doors of an apartment complex that must have been at least five stories tall.
"You live here?" He asked as he followed her into the doors and looked around.
"Yeah. And Luckily I'm on the first floor so no stairs for us." She walked him over to room 29 and unlocked the door with her overly stuffed ring of keys. Marco followed her inside and was in awe at how much purple was in the room. The curtains, the bedspread, the rugs, and she had even painted the tables and chairs with the violet shade.
"Its so…"
"Purple? I know. I wanted something different." She sat down on the bed and motioned for him to sit down next to her, which he did quickly.
"Well it is different." Marco replied as she pulled out two beers from the case and handed one to Marco.
"Then my mission is complete. Want anything to eat?" She popped open the cap of her beer and took a long sip.
"Naw, I'm good." Marco opened his and took a drink in a similar manner. He tried to stop his face from contorting with disgust as the foul liquid entered his mouth but failed so he turned away from her instead. He lay back in on the bed with his feet still dangling over the side and looked up at her ceiling. It was, to no surprise, painted a bright shade of purple.
"What's on your mind?" Maria asked taking another big swig of beer.
"A lot of crap. Too much crap. It's like ever since that car hit me the rest of my life turned into a car crash." He looked up at her and shifted to his elbow so he could take another drink.
"Not just your parents?" She leaned on her opposite elbow so she was eye level with him.
"Not my parents, just my dad. My mom is fine with me being gay. But you already know that whole story." Maria looked at him curiously searching for more information with her eyes. "It just so happens the guy that hit me is a friend of a friend. He was drunk. I don't really care too much about him though. But my friend was in the car. Spinner. He told me after we crashed into each other in the hall at my school. Then I guess he ran out of school and I don't know what happened next but he's in the hospital right now. Because I had to go and yell at him and am a stupid jerk." He chugged down the rest of the bottle and sighed in delight. It was actually pretty good once you got used to it and if you didn't keep it in your mouth for long.
"Wow," Maria uttered. "That's ruff. Do you really think getting drunks gonna help all this? Or is it going to just make it worse." She looked into his chocolaty brown eyes and thought she saw a flash of hurt go through them but it was gone before she could be sure.
Marco thought for a moment about what he was doing but then remembered why he thought of it in the first place. He needed to stop caring. "I don't care." He mumbled half heartedly before sitting up and grabbing another beer from the case.
Maria didn't believe him but she wasn't the one to stop him. She knew how it felt to feel that your problems would disappear at the bottom of a bottle or two and she also knew that nothing but a hard lesson would change that. Life was stubborn and needed to take its own course, she was just riding along.
"Do you like working at a hospital?" She was pulled out of her thoughts when Marco's voice came through the almost silent room.
"It's pretty cool. It can be boring just being a nurse but sometimes you see the strangest things." She laughed lightly thinking of some of the nutcases she had taken care of, or at least tried to. "I remember there was this one woman. Total whacko, had delusions, thought people with, quote, fire heads. The look on her face when I walked through the door…" Maria shook her head lightly and Marco let out a small chuckle. "Yeah it was funny, until she started yelling murderer at the top of her lungs and attacked me. Luckily when she jumped of the bed it ripped out her heart monitor."
"Luckily?" Marco questioned.
"Well for me at least. The flat line attracted the doctors and they got her before she could do any real damage. The woman was like three hundred pounds and she jumped on top of so I was pinned between her and the hard floor." Marco tried to contain his laughter but wasn't very successful, especially since the alcohol was starting to take affect.
"Shut up car crash." She jested pushing his shoulder playfully.
"Fire head." He threw back at her and she smacked his cheek lightly but still managed to topple him over onto the floor.
"That's it, I'm cutting you off." She joked and pulled the rest of the beers behind her.
"Fire… Head!" He managed to choke out as he regained his breath and threw his arms on the bed. "I am never going to let you live that one down."
"Oh you're nasty." She smiled wide but jumped suddenly when a loud noise erupted from her pocket. She slid her hand inside and retrieved a cell phone which she flipped open and began talking into.
"Hello?... Oh hi… Not really… Seriously?... Right now… yeah I guess but… fine… I'll be there." She snapped her phone shut and looked sadly at Marco. "I gotta go. Emergency at work. You're welcome to stay here if you want. Or you can go whatever." She grabbed a badge from a hook on her purple wall and put it around her neck. Marco got up from the floor and was about to follow her out the door when she stopped him.
"Take the beer. You need it more than I do." Marco nodded and turned on his heels before grabbing the case of now 3 1/2 beers and returning to her side.
"Thanks." She nodded her welcome and they walked out of the building and parted ways.
"Where to go now…" He said quietly to himself and looked around. His wondering gaze stopped on a street sign of a crossing street nearby. It seemed familiar. He felt he had seen it before but couldn't place when. Without another thought he turned towards the street and followed its old sidewalk for about a half an hour be fore he got a revelation. Suddenly his mind was flooded with the memory of this street. He had been walking towards Dylan's university and hadn't even realized it. He thought about turning back but instead continued on his way hoping he would find comfort there. Another 10 minutes passed and he found himself winding through hallways and building trying to remember where his boyfriend resided. He plopped down on a bench and grabbed a beer from the case he carried. He was going to find Dylan but there was no sense in getting parched in the mean time. He flipped of the cap and took a drink before letting out a relieved sigh. He took a few more sips before setting the bottle back in the case and returning to his navigation of the campus maze. After another few minutes of searching he found the building he was looking for and let himself in. He climbed the stairs and searched his head for his dorm number.
"Damn." He cursed to himself when his mind refused to respond to his drastic search. He racked his brain to find the information but everything just seemed foggy. He looked around at the doors hoping for some clue that one of them belonged to Dylan. On a door just in front of him hung a miniature white board. Scribbled in sloppy writing were the words "Dylan's pad." Marco smiled to himself at his accomplishment of finding the room and he knocked on the door.
It opened with a squeak and Dylan's head popped out from behind it. "Marco? What are you doing here? Is school already over?" His brow furrowed with confusion as Marco pushed himself into the room and plopped on his bed.
"Nope. I don't really know what I'm doing here. I was just walking and this is where I ended up. Aren't you happy to see me?" Marco stuck his lower lip out as he feigned sadness and batted hi eyelashes.
"Of coarse I'm happy to see you… Why aren't you in school? Is everything ok?" His gave Marco a once over but his eyes stopped on the half empty case of beer still clutched in his boyfriends hand.
"Have you been drinking?" He asked in disbelief as the brunette rolled his head to the side and then tipped it back.
Marco rolled his head to the opposite shoulder and looked at Dylan. "Maybe…"
"Marco, give me the case." Dylan said sternly.
"Don't worry, I saved you some." He took the half empty one out of the case and tossed the other two to his boyfriend who caught them just before they crashed to the ground.
"Marco! What the hell were you thinking?" Dylan almost screamed before making his way to the bathroom and dumping the beers out in the sink.
"Why are you wasting those! They're still good!" Marco followed Dylan into the bathroom and tried to shove past him to save the booze. Dylan grabbed his arms tightly and made him look at his face.
"How much did you drink?" Marco looked away and opened his mouth like he was going to say something but quickly closed it. He stuck on finger to the side of his chin and thought about it.
"Like two… and a half… Why do you care so much? You really needed those more than the sink did." Marco laughed at his own joke and fell to his knees. Dylan pulled him back up and carried him to the bed.
Marco pulled their faces close together and attempted to kiss him but Dylan jerked away. Marco frowned sadly at his boyfriend who only shook his head.
"What? Don't you hiccup love me anymore?" Dylan looked at him and sighed before sitting next to him on the bed.
"Marco you're drunk. Get some rest."
"I don't care if I'm drunk! I don't care about anything! That's what being drunk is all about right?" He flopped down with his head resting on the pillows. Tears started to form in his eyes but he was too weary to fight them.
Dylan crawled next to him and put his hand on the younger boy's shoulder. He hated to see Marco like this; the poor boy was so overwhelmed with everything and thought the only way out was to lose himself along with his sobriety. He would have tried to talk sense into him but he knew in this state it would be a lot of effort for no reward.
"Marco," He started trying his best to make his tone sound comforting and warm. "You look tired. Just get some sleep. I promise I'll wake you up in a few hours."
Marco nodded and it brought a smile to Dylan's face. He kissed the Italian boy on the forehead before getting up and sitting in his desk. He began to work on whatever he had been doing before and Marco fell asleep easily in a matter of minutes.
I am sooooooo soory about the super late update. I have been really busy with this essay thingy I had to right and I absolutely had no time. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and remember to review!