It was so disappointing
That all my trust was built on sand
It was against all reason
Although it happened again and again
Eye to eye the innocence died
Forgive but don't forget
Never fail twice
Forgive but don't forget
Straight through the lies
Your speech was full of treason
Although your heart was innocent
I had to pay for your sins
-Rage
His light footsteps felt loud and huge as he took the first few steps into his house. The old wooden floor creaked under his feet and every breath he took raised his anxiety. He furled and unfurled his hands and noticed how clammy they had become in the last few seconds. Another step sent the floor into another short wailing fit as he paused on top of it and shut his eyes tightly.
"Ma… Pa…" He called out, fighting against a lump that was forming in his throat.
"Marco?" He heard the hurried footsteps of his mother as she walked into the kitchen. She stopped before him and put her hand over her mouth in happiness and surprise. "Marco…" She ran to him as fast as her legs would allow and wrapped her arms around his slender figure, squeezing him tightly. Silent sobs raked there body's together and Marco threw his hands to his mothers back, unwilling to let go.
"I'm sorry," He gasped and tears rolled down his cheeks, staining Dylan's scarf and Ms. Del Rossi's dress. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me Ma, I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry."
"Sh sh sh sh, its okay, it's okay." She pulled his head away from her shoulder and looked him in the eye before pushing him into a chair at the table. She slid another one close so it was facing him directly and took a seat. Before she said anything she took his hands in her own and held them tightly, as if to tell him that she was there for him.
"Where were you Marco? We looked everywhere. Your Papa didn't even go to work today. He's looking for you now." Marco's eyes grew wide and seemed to sparkle even more than the tears could make them.
"Pa, was looking for me?" He asked in slight disbelief. He had almost expected him not to care, until just now, he didn't think he had.
"Marco, he loves you. He may not show it, and he may not fully accept who you are but he still loves you. When you were gone he couldn't sleep. He was too worried about you." Tears dripped over her eyelids and she wiped them away with her wrist, but quickly returned it to her son's grasp. "Where were you?"
"I… I can't remember most of it. I got…" He swallowed against the lump in his throat. Tell the truth, tell the truth. "Drunk." He looked away in shame, finally realizing all the stupidity in his decision. "I didn't know what to do. Anything seemed good at the time."
Ms. Del Rossi put a hand on his shoulder not sure of what to say. She couldn't believe her ears. Her son, drunk? Nothing like this had ever happened and she was never really prepared for the situation. But now it was coming at her full force and there was nothing she could do but what she thought best.
"Please don't tell Pa. He's already so disappointed with me…" He pleaded.
"I won't. But I don't ever want to hear that you did this again. You're grounded… for a month." She shook her head lightly. "What were you thinking Marco? You're lucky you weren't hurt, or worse. How you managed that…"
"Dylan. I found Dylan and he helped me Ma. He let me stay with him till… till I was better." He hoped his mother would understand that it was in his best interest to stay there, and not be mad he spent the night at his boyfriends.
"He is a good boy. I'm glad you have him Marco. Is he here now?" Marco nodded and chanced a glance back at his mother. A smile had taken over her face for she was genuinely happy for her son.
"He's in his car. He wanted to wait to make sure everything was ok before he left." Ms. Del Rossi leaned towards her son and squeezed him once again.
"Well everything is okay." She reassured, and for the first time in weeks he felt everything actually was. "Tell him I said thank you, for keeping you safe." She kissed him on the cheek and let him walk back out the door. Knowing this time he would be back for good.
He didn't bother to close the door behind him he just ran towards Dylan who was leaning against the hood of his car with his arms crossed. "Dylan!" He yelled, quickening his pace. The blonde looked up and seeing the smile on Marco's face another came onto his own. Marco grabbed his boyfriend's hands and held them up to his chest.
"I'm guessing it went well." He laughed.
"Better than expected. My mom says thank you, for keeping me safe and all." Marco blushed slightly and Dylan kissed him on the forehead.
"Then I should go. I'll talk to you later okay?"
"Yeah." He let go of Dylan's hands and with one last glance left him in the driveway. He was met at the door by his mom who wrapped her arm around his shoulder.
"So," she said slyly. "What are we going to tell your Pa?"
"I'm not going to lie to him but I don't exactly want to tell him the truth either…" he trailed off unintentionally.
"I'll take care of him. You look terrible though. Get some rest." She smiled at him warmly but quickly wiped it off her face remembering that she was supposed to be angry with him. Marco nodded and went up to his room eager for the silence of his own thoughts.
"Honey, keep your voice down. You'll wake him." Ms. Del Rossi pleaded with her husband after his surprising outburst. She had just broken the news that their son was home and he chose to repeat it at the top of his lungs in shock.
"Where was he? What was he doing? What happened?" He asked rapidly, trying to extract as much information from her as he could.
"That doesn't matter dear. All that matters is that he is home, safe in his bed." She smiled encouragingly but was only given a frown in return.
"Did he leave because of me… again?" He choked out calmly.
Ms. Del Rossi didn't answer she just looked away and pretended she hadn't heard him. Even though he knew full well that she had.
"I am a hypocrite." He whispered to no one in particular. "I tell him that he is ruining our family but look what I have done. I caused our only son to run away, after he came back." He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and took a few steps past his wife. "What have I done?"
"You didn't make him feel like he mattered. He was surprised when I told him that you were looking for him. You may not agree with who he is but you can at least try not to act like it's the end of the world as we know it." She sighed heavily and turned around, facing his back. "He just wants to know that you are proud of him. Maybe not for this decision, but think of all the other things and maybe this one won't seem as horrible as you are making it out to be." She patted him on the back and walked into the kitchen where she began to cook dinner.
"He is sleeping?" He asked for only the sake of not wanting silence.
"Mmhmm." Ms Del Rossi replied and continued on with her work.
Mr. Del Rossi looked at the stairs. They seemed to be dark and foreboding but he had a strange feeling to go up them. Slowly he walked towards them and taking one step at a time he begun to climb. The floor creaked and moaned under his feet but all sound seemed oblivious to him and after what seemed like forever he reached the top.
His first thought was to go into his own room and wait for his wife to call him for dinner but he stopped himself. Instead he headed the opposite direction towards Marco's room. The meager wooden door stood open but a crack and it defied its age when he was able to open it without a sound.
Marco lay on his bed, a book was spread across his chest and his head hung to the side in an unwanted sleep. He looked so innocent when he slept, so perfect, so pure. This was his son. Not his gay son, not his straight son, just his son. And that was just how it should've been.
When he had seen him in the hospital that day he felt nothing but hate for him and the blonde boy that was kissing him. But why had he felt that way? Why did he see his son as such a disappointment because of who he loved? How could he feel in such a hateful way towards his own flesh and blood? He had began to hate himself for making him leave like that but was easily reminded that he had had good reason to. But he never really believed that he had that reason figured out. He slept little, if any at all, and when he was in a slumber it was filled with horrid images of his son on the streets. He would awake in a cold sweat and tell himself it was Marco's fault. It was his fault he had been thrown out. It was easy for him to tell himself that, but it was harder to believe it.
When Marco returned he had been happier then he let on. His own son was willing to forgive him, for taking away his home and his family. But he still was unable to accept what his son was. He brushed it off as a phase, as something his son as doing to get back at him, and he tried to convince his son to believe the same.
Then Marco left for school, angry and out of his mind with disbelief. How, after all that had happened and all the days that had passed with him gone, was his father still delusional with the thought that his son was merely going thru a phase? Then he didn't return home from school.
He was crazy with worry over his son's disappearance. He had driven thru the streets calling out his name and showing his picture to any random person he passed. His wife finally convinced him to get some rest.
"It will do no good for Marco for you to be so tired that you become sick." She had cautioned but no matter how many hours he lay still in bed is mind was not at rest. It raced with every scenario possible of what his son could be doing. He closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep but his pleas went unheard.
He got up the next morning and without even eating breakfast had begun to search again. His wife was now becoming too worried to think straight and had almost caught the kitchen on fire when she dazed of and left her homemade oatmeal on the stove unattended. Some of his early search had been for his wife's sake, but most of it was for his own sanity, and the well being of his family.
Then he had received the call. After hours of search his son was home. His wife had called and he heard the happiness that filled her now usual saddened tone. He raced home and had gotten all the details when he got there.
Now he stood in front of his son, and he finally took hold of his wife's words. The fact that his son was gay was a big disappointment in his eyes, but other than that one fact about him he was proud of his son. Nothing could change that.
He sighed heavily and sat in Marco's computer chair, watching his son rest. He had the urge to wake him and tell him that everything was all right, but he chose instead to think of his words wisely.
What if his son was already past the point of forgiveness? What if all the wrong that had been done to him was too deep in his heart to be mended? Mr. Del Rossi's mind was ready to accept this sudden change, but would Marco believe him?
He leaned back into the lightly cushioned chair and exhaled deeply, wishing that he had had this revelation much sooner. Maybe then forgiveness would have come much easier.
A heavy pounding noise came to his ears causing his eyes to flutter open with a reaction. He saw the back of his father leaving his room, trying to be quiet unsuccessfully.
"Pa?" He muttered out sleepily and pushed himself onto his elbows. The book on his chest slipped to the slide and shut with a bang.
Mr. Del Rossi stopped his short strides immediately at the sound of is son's voice. He looked over his shoulder quickly before turning his whole body to face Marco.
"Marco, I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you." He said and returned towards the door.
"Pa wait…" He didn't know what he was going to say but he didn't want his father to leave just yet. "I… I'm sorry."
Once again he paused and turned towards his son. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I should be the one apologizing Marco. I shouldn't have acted so selfish and ignorant."
Marco had to compose himself quickly. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? His father was apologizing? He could hardly utter a word but he managed to anyway once his father came to the side of his bed and hugged him.
"Thank you" He whispered into his dad's ear.
Mr. Del Rossi's next words were simple but nothing but them could have ever been so perfect. Nothing else could have ever been as right as those words were at that moment. "I love you Marco, my son."
Hope you liked this chapter. Now off with you and review till you drop! -