Flashback
Lorelai walked into the house, a bag of food in one hand, the mail and her purse in the other. She dumps her coat and bag on the couch, presses the answering machine button, and walks into the kitchen. As she pulls the plate out of the cupboard she hears a familiar voice filter out of the machine.
"Mom? It's Rory…well I guess you already knew that because who else calls you mom?" Rory babbled. Lorelai nodded.
"True," she muttered and dumped the greasy food onto a plate.
"I need to talk to you, so I'm coming home for the weekend…if that's alright…I just-There's just something we need to talk about," Rory finished. "I love you and I'll see you soon." Lorelai glanced back over at the machine, a worried feeling clenching her body.
Lorelai walked back into the living room and turned on the t.v., calming down when a rerun of Friends came onto the screen. As she laughed along with a joke, the front door opened, unheard to her. She picked up the chopsticks and took a bite of her food.
"Mom-?" Rory asked. Lorelai screamed and threw the chopsticks into the air, wheeling around to stare at Rory. "I'm sorry!" Rory gasped.
"You scared me!" Lorelai cried, still clutching her heart. "You nearly gave me a heart attack! I didn't even hear you come in!"
"I told you I was stopping by for the weekend," Rory said, tucking her freshly cut hair behind her ears. "Is that Luke's?" she said, smelling the food in the air and becoming famished. Lorelai glanced down, confused.
"Uh, no," Lorelai said. "Al's."
"Oh," Rory answered and sat down next to her mother. "Can we talk? I really need to talk to you about something."
"Sure," Lorelai said, feeling the same nervous feeling come back over her. "Want something to eat? I could heat something up?" Lorelai was trying to stall this as long as possible. She didn't like the look on Rory's face.
"Mom!" Rory cried. "I really need to say this before I loose my confidence."
Lorelai took a deep breath. "Alright, go on."
"I'm pregnant," Rory mumbled her face flushing and her hands clenched on a tissue. There was a long silence and then Lorelai laughed.
"I'm sorry! Did you just say you're pregnant?" Lorelai said, laughing again. "Alright, funny joke to play on mommy."
"Mom, I wish I was kidding," Rory whispered. Lorelai stopped laughing and felt her stomach drop onto her brand new shoes. "Mom…please-"
"Rory," Lorelai whispered, closing her eyes and trying to make this just a dream. "How could you be so stupid?"
"Mom! I wasn't-I can't-I didn't want this to happen! It was a mistake, alright? I wish it were just a bad dream!" Rory cried. Lorelai wasn't listening.
"I tried so hard to make you not me," Lorelai ranted. "I did everything in my power to bring you up right! How could you do this to me?"
"You think I want this?" Rory snapped. "I made a mistake, I get it."
"You don't make mistakes!" Lorelai yelled, standing up and pacing back and forth.
"Well I did!" Rory yelled. "What do you want me to do? I'm sorry."
"Well 'sorry' isn't going to fix your mistakes, now is it?" Lorelai bellowed. She stopped suddenly, her breathing heavy and tears in her eyes. "Whoa," she whispered. "I just had a 1986 flashback…" She sat back down and looked over at Rory who was crying. Lorelai yelled like her mother did, she ranted like her father did, she tried to guilt Rory the way her parents did when they found out she was pregnant. And look what happened. Lorelai fled as soon as she could. That couldn't happen with Rory; she wouldn't let it happen between them. "Alright," Lorelai finally said, breathing deeply again. "Let me guess, Dean is the father?"
"No," Rory said with a sigh.
"So if it isn't Dean, then who is it?" Lorelai asked, thinking about every guy Rory had even looked at. Last she checked, her daughter had been a virgin. "Rory?"
"Jess," Rory mumbled into her hands. There was another long silence and when Rory glanced up, Lorelai was looking at her in disbelief.
"Tell me you're joking," Lorelai said her voice low and tight. Rory shook her head once and bowed her head again. "Dear God, please tell me you're joking."
"I'm sorry," Rory whispered again.
"Oh, Rory!" Lorelai cried, rubbing her eyes. "Rory, he left you! He walked out on you without so much as a goodbye and you sleep with him?"
"He apologized!" Rory yelled.
"When?" Lorelai snapped. "When did he apologize?"
"When I went to see him," Rory said, her voice shaking. "I went to see him last month and he apologized for everything he put me through." Lorelai was looking hurt again.
"You told me you were going away with Paris," Lorelai snapped. "You lied to me."
"I had to see him," Rory exclaimed. "I knew what would happen if I told you where I was going! I knew that you would try and stop me-"
"I had a good reason to!" Lorelai yelled. "Look what happened when you went to see him! You came back knocked up!" Rory didn't say anything and Lorelai looked down again. "Alright, kid, what do you want to do, then? Drop out?"
"No!" Rory cried, looking upset at the thought. "I talked to Paris already. She said that if I wanted, she would help me out with an apartment in Hartford with her. We'd room together and stay there until something better comes along. She has morning classes and I have afternoon classes. She promised to watch the baby in the afternoon. She and Jamie are going to live with me." Lorelai glanced at her and took a deep shuddering breath.
"You will stay here for the first four months," Lorelai said, her mind thinking. "I will take care of the baby when you go to school and then after the four months you can move in with Paris and Jamie. Deal?"
Rory thought for a moment and burst into tears. "I'm so sorry!" she cried and hugged her mother tightly as they both burst into tears.
"It's going to be ok," Lorelai soothed her sobbing daughter. It's going to be different with her, Lorelai thought; she won't run away from me. I will not be my parents!
Present
Rory sat on the couch, watching her daughter sleep on the couch cushion. Her mother went out for a caffeine run, leaving Rory alone with Lola for the first time since she was born. The baby slept peacefully and made small noises.
"You're amazing," Rory said to the baby. "I am going to spoil you rotten!" Still, the baby didn't move and Rory sat back on the couch. She felt as though she should do something while her mother was out. Her mother, the one person she had secretly vowed never to become. Lorelai ran from every relationship she was in, she was petrified of commitment, and sometimes Rory thought she may have resented her. A thought so completely out of whack that it made her angry and guilty to think about, popped up every once in a while. Sometimes she wondered if her mother ever played the What-If game about her life. What if she had married Christopher when he asked? What if she had never invited him in that night? What if she hadn't been so angry at her parents? What if she had miscarried?
The door opened and Lorelai came in looking nervous. "Hey, babe, is the baby up?" Lorelai whispered. Rory shook her head and traced the small packet of fat on the baby's cheek.
"Sleeping like an angel," Rory whispered. Lorelai went over and glanced at the baby with a small sigh. "I really want to do something for you. I feel restless."
"No," Lorelai said firmly. "You need your rest. Here, I brought you back a bagel, some fries, a piece of cake, a cheeseburger, cheesy fries, chili fries, a diet coke, and a banana." Rory glanced at the bag and took it from her mother.
"What did you do?" she asked suddenly. "You buy me food when you've done something stupid. Last time it was seven boxes of pizza because you vacuumed up the hamster, before that it was the entire back side of Al's menu because you dropped a milkshake on my first editions…What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything!" Lorelai said, feigning shock. Rory raised an eyebrow and Lorelai handed her the bag. "Just eat the food, kay?"
"Mom," Rory insisted, taking the bag. "Just tell me, I won't get mad, I can't get mad. I'm too damn happy right now! Just tell me."
"Not now," Lorelai said with a sad smile. "Later, when you feel better." Rory sighed and took a bite of Luke's food.
"You know, I think now that you're dating Luke, his food tastes better then I remember," Rory said, closing her eyes and taking in the taste of his fries. "I can't believe you kissed!"
"I can't believe you went into labor and interrupted it," Lorelai said, handing Rory a glass of soda.
"Don't blame me, blame Lola," Rory said, stroking the baby's cheek. Rory glanced back at her mother. "Have I told you how grateful I am for everything you've done?"
"Everyday," Lorelai said. She took a deep breath and walked over to Rory. "I want you to promise me something."
"Alright," Rory replied.
"I want you to promise me that you won't turn into me. I don't want you to feel guilty and I don't want you to run away. No matter what happens, you're my daughter and I love you. And that baby is my granddaughter. I never want to come home to a note, understand?" Lorelai said, crouching down in front of Rory.
"I promise," Rory said with a smile.
"I don't mean you can stay here forever," Lorelai said, now standing up again. "I'm simply telling you that you don't have to feel guilty."
"Ok," Rory replied. "I think I feel up to Friday night dinner."
Flashback
"That HORRID woman came in with her dog. You know the ones that yap instead of bark?" Emily said, savagely cutting her steak. "It had a pink bow around its neck and completely took over the entire meeting. I'll have to do something."
"You want to off her?" Lorelai asked, sharing a smile with Rory.
"Off her, Lorelai?" Emily asked, sounding exasperated. "Do I even want to know what silly little joke you made now?"
"It'll be fun mom! We can go shopping for rope and black leather. Then we can scale her house, break in, and strangle her," Lorelai said. Richard smiled and Emily rolled her eyes and went back to eating. "Don't say I didn't try."
Rory ate her food quickly and glanced around the table, searching for something that she didn't know. "Is there any…radishes?" The entire table went silent.
"Excuse me?" Emily asked, looking baffled.
"Radishes," Rory repeated, glancing around the table and spotting them. "Mom, can you hand them to me, please?"
"Here," Lorelai said, passing them down the table. Rory took them and piled some onto her plate quickly, before eating them even faster than she had placed them down. Emily glanced at Rory for a minute before gasping.
"Oh my God!" she cried, clutching her heart and looking as though she may pass out right in her seat. "Rory, you're pregnant, aren't you?" There was a long silence. "Rory."
Rory was now staring at the plate, not saying anything. Richard suddenly got up from the table and stomped away, not saying anything. Rory began to cry slightly. Lorelai had a sad expression on her face as she placed her napkin by her plate. "I'll be right back," she said softly and stomped over to her father's study.
"Rory?" Emily asked, kindly. "Come here." She opened her arms and Rory lunged into them, now sobbing freely into her grandmother's chest.
"I'm sorry," Rory sobbed for the thousandth time. "I ruined everything for you! I ruined your plans. I'm so sorry!"
"Shh," Emily snapped. "It's going to be alright." We won't loose her, Emily thought, we'll make it better this time. We can't loose Rory too.
Meanwhile, Richard was pacing his study. He ran his hand through his hair and tried to stay calm. All he could think about was getting his hands on the boy who did this to his granddaughter. There was a knock on the door that he ignored. Lorelai pushed it open and smiled sadly at her father.
"Dad, are you alright?" she asked softly.
"How could you let this happen, Lorelai?" he snapped at her the moment she came into the room. "How could you let this happen to Rory."
"Dad, it was out of my control. She was away at school and left. It was a mistake she's going to live with for the rest of her life. Right now the only thing she needs is your support," Lorelai said.
"I'm afraid I can't give that," Richard snapped, turning away from his daughter. Lorelai glared at him and felt a sense of loss.
"So you're going to let history repeat itself?" she asked angrily. "You did the same thing to me, dad. After Rory I never felt good enough. You made me feel like a failure that was living under your roof. Remember I ran away? I ran away because I couldn't stand to be a blemish on the sacred Gilmore name. Rory's afraid and sad. She needs her grandfather."
"Lorelai, we had a plan!" Richard bellowed, turning around to stare at his daughter. "She would not be you! She would go to college and become whatever she wanted to be! It was a set plan! How could you let this happen?"
"How did you?" Lorelai screamed back. "Don't you dare insinuate that I am not a good mother! I am the best damn mother I could be. She lied to me and took a bus to New York. I couldn't help that. What would you have liked me to do? Keep her home for the rest of her life? I did the best I could do."
"It obviously wasn't good enough," Richard shot back and sighed. "Tell your mother I don't feel up to dessert."
"You're going to loose her, dad. This attitude is going to scare her off," Lorelai said softly. "You're going to loose us again." Richard didn't answer and kept his back to his daughter. She stared at his back for a moment before turning and walking out. As the door slammed shut and a picture fell off the wall, she noticed Rory and Emily sitting in the living room, talking. She walked along the wood floor until the carpet and saw Rory glance up.
"Is grandpa-" Rory began.
"Give him time," Lorelai said, trying to smile. "He'll come around. He did the first time."
"Lorelai, could I talk to you for a minute?" Emily asked, indicating the patio. "Excuse us Rory, we'll be right back."
"Yes, grandma," Rory answered obediently. Lorelai followed her mother outside feeling as though any minute she was going to be scolded. As soon as the glass door shut, Lorelai expected the yelling to begin.
"Do you have a plan?" Emily snapped. Lorelai was caught off guard.
"A plan?" Lorelai repeated.
"Yes, Lorelai, a plan," Emily snapped. She looked back at Rory's crying body and sighed. "Do you know where she's going to live? Do you know what she's going to do about school? Do you even know who the father is?"
"Yes, mom," Lorelai said. "We worked everything out."
"Do you need any help?" Emily said, still looking at Rory. "I don't just mean financial help. I mean honest to goodness grandmotherly help." Lorelai was caught off guard for a second time.
"Yes," she replied. "Right now Rory needs all the love and support she can get. Dad-"
"Give him time like you said," Emily answered immediately. There was a silence. "I'm sorry for letting the cat out of the bag and saying it how I said it." Lorelai was caught off guard for a third time.
"Mom, it's alright, you didn't know," Lorelai replied. "I'm sure Rory isn't mad at you for it."
"Can I give you some advice?" Emily asked softly.
"Sure," Lorelai said with a shrug.
"Don't loose her," Emily said firmly. "Whatever you do, don't loose that girl. I regret everything I must have done to scare you off. I only hope that you allow us to be apart of this baby's life. No matter what it is, I would like to be apart of it. From birthdays to baseball games. I also hope that you can forgive me, for everything I've done." Lorelai felt herself tear up and then, before she understood what she was doing, she lunged at her mother and brought her into a hug.
"I forgive you," Lorelai whispered into her mother's ear. "I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for not being as good of a daughter as you need. I'm sorry I let her get pregnant."
"Hush," Emily snapped and patted Lorelai's hair. Lorelai stepped back, her nose and eyes leaking. "Oh, you've got snot on my Chanel."
Present
News that Jess was back in town spread like wildfire. Everywhere anyone went all the talk was centered on Jess, Rory, and the baby. Did he know he was a father? Is that why he was back? Was he going to stay here with Rory? Luke understood that Jess most likely did not know that he was a father. Luke also knew, from Lorelai, that Rory had left him when she found out.
"I'm going out," Jess snapped, rolling up a book and sticking it in his back pocket. Luke scrambled around the counter to stop him.
"No, you're not," Luke said, stepping to the left as Jess stepped to his right.
"What is the matter with you?" Jess asked incredulously. He took another step to the right, only to have Luke take one to the left. "Could you please move?"
"What're you doing back?" Luke shot back.
"I got guilted into coming back for Liz's second round of T.J. marriage. Believe me, I didn't want to come back to this crack town. I just didn't want you showing up at my door…again," Jess snapped, trying to leave. "Will you move?"
"No," Luke said, shaking his head. "You can't go out there."
"I can't?" Jess asked, once again looking confused. "Fine, I'll go upstairs and read."
"Good," Luke snapped and watched him go up the stairs. Luke waited for a minute before going back to wiping tables. Kirk looked up at Luke.
"Isn't there a fire escape right under your window?" Kirk asked lightly. Luke's head shot up and he ran up the stairs two at a time. Once into his apartment, he noticed the open window.
"Crap," he muttered, walking over to it and glancing out. He watched Jess's retreating back walk across the town square and out of sight. He walked over to the phone and dialed Lorelai's number.
"Hello?" said a tired voice on the other line.
"Lorelai?" Luke asked.
"Yeah?" she asked.
"Listen, Jess just escaped so make sure Rory stays out of town," Luke said. He heard movement from the other side of the phone.
"Will do, Cappie," Lorelai said. "We still on for later?"
"Yeah, we're still on," Luke said with a sigh.
"See you at seven?" Lorelai asked, a smile on her face. She could hear Luke smiling from the other line.
"Pick you up at seven," Luke said and then hung up.
Once he hung up, Lorelai walked downstairs and into the living room. The house was silent.
"Rory?" Lorelai called. She walked into the kitchen and noticed a piece of paper lying on the table. Instantly worry and fear flooded through her as she picked it up and read it. Once she finished, she first let out a sigh of relief and then began to worry again. Rory had gone for a walk and Jess was loose in the town…
Lola had woken up from her nap and began to cry. Once Rory calmed her down enough so that she was gazing around the room, she decided that a walk was probably the best thing for her right now. The fresh spring air would do them both good. She picked the sleeping baby up and placed her into the carriage. Then she scribbled a note for her mother with a P.S. I didn't run away, just went for a walk.
As she walked across town, she smiled as the sunlight hit her face. This was what she needed. She walked past Doosey's and past Miss Patty's. People stopped her every three feet or so. Babette and Miss Patty were the worse and just seemed to follow her around wherever she went. Finally, she managed to loose them near the magazine rack and head to her favorite spot in town. She didn't go there often, just when she was feeling sad and sentimental.
The bridge had been a favorite of Jess's. Sometimes she would come down there to see old cigarette butts stuffed in between the old wood from the bridge. She brought the carriage down the bumpy path and over the smooth wood. Rory was so busy watching Lola that she didn't even see Jess look up from his book. She missed the shocked expression on his face and she missed the comprehension.
"Rory?" he asked, looking at the carriage. Rory's head shot up and stared at him.
A/N Please read and review. I made a mistake last chapter. Lola was born in May, not September. Rory got pregnant in September and had the baby in May. Also, this story takes place at the beginning of season five if you want to put a label on it. Thank you and review.