Chapter 4

It was when Kadaj was weak and vulnerable, I saw him as my little brother. My precious little brother. Not a leader or a soldier, just a brother. A teenager struggling to survive in the jaws of death.

Loz loved him. I loved him. And I let him die, but it wasn't just me. It was Cloud... It was Cloud, Vincent and Reno. And I swear to Mother that I'll avenge your death Kadaj. And I won't stop there either... I'll kill everyone they love. Slowly and painfully, just like yours. I swear it.

"... Yazoo"

I looked over my shoulder to see Loz, his eyes puffy and red from crying.

"We better go now, before day break..."

I nodded slowly with a small frown. My eye's were also puffy and red from crying. So unlike me but it seemed to be happening frequently now. We still had a mission to accomplish, to reunite with Mother and take this planet and make it ours. I sighed, not wanting to leave my dead brother. When ever I worked up the will power to let go, I just ended up holding onto him again.

Loz on the other hand couldn't handle seeing our brother's body. When he first saw me holding Kadaj tightly, he thought it was a moment of sheer relief. Until I lifted my head up to see him, it was when he saw my distressed face he knew Kadaj was gone. He didn't take another step forward. Instead he collapsed were he stood, his legs giving in on him as he wailed nonstop.

"Please Yazoo?" I looked down at Kadaj's beautiful face in my hands and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Good bye brother" I whispered in his ear.

Everything felt out of order since then. We concluded to make our way to ShinRa headquarters, to look further into Rufus' accusations of Mother's whereabouts. Kadaj always said the presidents side of the story never added up. So Loz and I were going to pay him a visit, to see if we could figure him out ourselves.

But still, I never realized how long it took to get to Midgar. Kadaj was always the most talkative out of us, which in turn made time fly by on trips like these. But now that he wasn't here we drove in silence, and to some extent I wish Loz would say something. Anything to stop me from thinking of him.

The minutes felt like hours and the hours felt like days. I was so exhausted. From the past few days of events, I hadn't had a proper rest since we were out of the Northern Crater. I just wanted to find Mother. I wanted to hold her. Cry to her. To hear her say everything was going to be alright. But I knew in my heart it wasn't. That opportunity was lost last night. Or was it the night before?

"What happened to us?" I thought out loud.

Loz glanced over at me, "Huh?" Obviously he had been in his own world too.

I know. I shouldn't be asking Loz such questions. He's probably scared enough as it is, so I changed the subject.

"Na Loz, want some sleep? We'd be better prepared for Rufus tomorrow if we did" I said matter of factly.

He nodded in response and we drove to the nearest town. Loz practically fell asleep the moment he hit the bed. I myself couldn't. I just looked up at the ceiling, listening to the light snoring of Loz by my side.

Where are you Kadaj?

I stood alone in The Forgotten City and my brows knitted in confusion. How did I get here so fast? I was about to turn my heel when I felt cold metal press against my throat. The double blades told me it was Kadaj. But why was he doing this? I thought he was dead...

"You filthy cock sucker" He whispered angrily through gritted teeth, slitting my throat in one clean movement.

I didn't feel it though. Instead I just continued to stand perfectly still.

"I lost Yazoo, obviously Mother didn't love me as much as I thought"

Kadaj, that's not true and you know it! I was trying to talk but the words refused to come out.

"Thus, he will take my place. And to think I trusted you with my life!"

I'm sorry Kadaj, I'm sorry!

As I repeated this in my mind I was horrified in myself as I took out Velvet Nightmare and spun around. Pointing it at my brother automatically.

A sympatric smile played on his perfect lips as he spoke up softly, "She doesn't love you"

I shot him in the head as he dropped to my feet, just because I failed you, Kadaj doesn't mean I'll fail Mother too.

I jolted upright from the bed, the loud noises of rain was hitting the roof. It was pitch black briefly before a flash of white light shone through the window.

I didn't want to go back to sleep, not after a dream like that. So I quietly lifted myself off the bed, making sure not to wake Loz in the process. I thought I'd go train, it'd give me a chance to practice my close combat. Seeing as no one would be out at a time like this. I could do it in privacy.

I slid my clothing on and grabbed my weapon before exiting the room and then the inn. It was raining hard, but this didn't discourage me. I made my way to the outskirts of town, I knew it wouldn't be difficult to find fiends lurking around in an open area.

I fought countless numbers of beasts, using more of the blade than the barrel. I thought I had done well for a few hours training. And to my comfort it took my mind off of the horrible events from the past few days. Just focusing on the battles and my strategies made my mind a little clearer. The beautiful weather adding to my peace of mind.

"You're doing pretty well"

The sudden voice startled me as I lost my target and missed. Causing another shot to be fired that wasn't my own. Making the fiend in front of me collapse to the ground.

I swiftly turned to hit my new target. But the man in the red cape was too quick, how did he always manage to sneak up on me like this!

"Why must you continue to bother me!" I yelled out, trying to hear myself over the rain.

He said nothing as he ran forward, his metal claw readying to lash out at me. I countered his attack with my weapon, adding pressure to his.

"I've come to check on you" He replied emotionlessly.

My blood boiled by Vincent's answer, saying it with such emptiness. I kicked the black haired man hard in the chest, hitting him to the muddy ground.

"I'll kill you for what you did to my brother!" I moved to hit Vincent again but he dodged it, turning away from my foot crashing down on him. He got back onto his feet.

"You know you can't" He spoke calmly, blocking the kick I delivered to his head, his claw clasping around my ankle.

"Why not!" I argued, going to punch him across the face with my right hand. But that in turn was also blocked as he grabbed my wrist roughly.

"Because you're just a puppet"

What? What was he talking about? I was momentarily dysfunctional as Vincent's words ran through my mind. The next thing I knew I had hit the ground, rather ungracefully.

He continued as he pushed me to the ground and sat on my hips, pinning me there, unable to move. "Jenova's got you at the end of it's strings, just waiting for you to set it free"

"She loves me!" I retorted.

"Cloud isn't a traitor, he saw the truth. It's not human, it doesn't have feelings"

"That's not true!" I shook my head at his lies, what would he know? He's just trying to save himself from an inevitable death! Without thinking another second, I let out a burst of angered strength and belted him in the face. It was my turn to make his cheek bleed.

He hissed and turned back to face me. "Listen to me, you know it's true"

"It's not!"

"You can still save your brother. Repent for your sins and turn away from it"

My brother? No. He was trying to scare me, he knows Kadaj was the only one who could hear Mother.

She doesn't love you…

It was a stupid dream!

I was crying again. For the millionth time. This bad feeling didn't go away. We had no hope. I was humoring Loz, I just didn't want to hurt him! That's all.

I looked up into Vincent's crimson eyes with sadness. Tears of anger and frustration welled in my eyes and started mixing with the rain falling from the sky. He leaned in closer to me, his hot breath tickling my ear.

He wiped away my tears with his thumb. "I'll give you something to cry about." He whispered, the blood on his cheek slowly running down to his jaw.

He leaned closer to try and press his lips against mine. I was disgusted, pressing the back of my head further into the ground, the dirt tangling my hair. He raised a fist to me and hesitated. He withdrew it. I was almost beside myself with relief when his hand shot out again and clasped around my throat.

I choked out a 'no' but he acted as if it were nothing. I was too weak from my emotional breakdown to try and fight back. I just didn't care anymore. I was so confused.

He moved from my ear to my neck, kissing it with surprising softness. His blood was staining my pale skin. Unzipping my clothes down to my chest, he kissed across to my Adams apple and up to my chin. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the feeling of his lips pressed against me.

His left hand slid over leather to bare skin as he pinched my nipple. I bit my lip to stifle a gasp that threatened to leave my mouth. I felt his lips smirk ever so slightly as he lowered his head back down towards my chest.

He bit my nipple this time, pulling at it gently between his teeth. Forcing me to bite down harder. I felt myself writhed under Vincent's ministration.

"D-don't!" I managed to choke out, I didn't want to feel this.

Vincent just purred in response and moved to the other nipple, nibbling on the hardened nab. My body was beginning to react to his touches, I was sickened by myself.

I felt his strong hand run over the curves of my hips and under my long leather coat, pulling it up over my belly. My back arched of its own accord as he tenderly caressed my growing problem. I didn't want this. I didn't. But I was frozen, he had this effect on me.

The zipper of my pants was slowly lowered and pulled down over my white thighs.

"Do you want this?"

I parted my wet lips to speak but gasped instead as Vincent's warm mouth took the head of my penis. He sucked and licked at the tip, making me shiver and groan. I was starting to get hot under the cold rain, and I could hardly breath. I hated this man, I hated him for what he made me do, for what he was doing. But I couldn't help but let him use me. My mind was far away from reality, just the way I wanted it now.

I reached down to fist his long black hair as he opened his throat to allowed me to slide into his mouth. I couldn't help the cry that left my lips as he started bopping his head up and down. Gripping the base and humming. My hips twisted involuntary, I could feel my lower belly burn in pleasure. My breath hitched and my hips bucked and when I was just about to release, he pulled away.

I growled in frustration but the man above me paid no attention. I felt my leather pants being stripped off me entirely and I heard Vincent getting rid of his own pants. I knew I was going to regret this, if I really did care I would have probably cut his head off right now. But I just want to forget. Just this one time.

I lifted the end of my coat up over my head, I was about to take off my gloves when I was abruptly pulled forward by my forearm. My lips unexpectedly hitting my enemy's as he started kissing me, I was shocked, I didn't think he'd want to do any of this. Though I wasn't expecting him to think about my pleasures to begin with. And eventually I slowly started to kiss back shyly.

I had never been kissed like this before. I hadn't done anything like this. It was going so fast but I was ready, I just wanted to forget. I gasped in surprise as I was brought back, he lifted me up onto his lap, running his hand down my back and over my ass. I felt myself go red as he parted my cheeks.

I was about to ask him if he was going to use something. But I was answered with the blunt head of his dick forcefully pushed into my entrance. I screamed in pain as I felt it rip from the size and pressure. I crawled at his back, feeling tears form in my eyes again. The pain was excruciating. But I guess I deserved it, for letting him start this in the first place.

He was buried fully inside of me. My blood forming as lubricant over his erection. He bit my lower lip playfully and begun to move me up and down. I cringed and closed my eyes tightly. I didn't understand him, what was I saying? I don't even know him. After awhile the pain just became dull and I wanted it to end, I wanted to go back to Loz. I opened my eyes to focus on the man's lidded ones as he focused on me.

He continued to hold onto my hips and move me up and down. And my breath caught in my throat as he hit something inside of me. He leaned in closer and bit my shoulder. I yelped as his sharp teeth dug into my skin, little whispers starting to leave my lips again as he fucked me.

The area quickly filled with moans as I started bouncing on Vincent's erection.

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!" I sobbed out, continuing to move. I doubled over as I felt Vincent's hand reach out to my erection. I knew I wasn't going to last and with three pumps my head snapped back and I screamed loudly, spurting my unwanted pleasure onto his hand and stomach.

After a few more trusts I felt the black haired man cum inside of me. I was gasping for air, getting over the aftermath of my orgasm. Vincent gently lifted me off his lap and in a few seconds I was freezing. My teeth chattered as I collapsed onto the ground, exhausted. I hated showing this weakness to him.

He got up, pulled his pants up to his waist and turned around to walk away.

The tears started again as I turned my torso to face him as he walked away.

"Why…?" Was all I could say. He stopped and turned to face me, a smirk grew onto his already smug face.

"People don't see me this way Yazoo. I guess... everyone has their own little secrets, hm?" He turned back around and in a blur of red material, he was gone.

I failed to get up and sobbed into the dirt. It was sometime before I gathered my clothes and put them on. I needed to clean my filthy face so Loz wouldn't suspect anything.