Impossible

A Gundam Wing Fan Fiction

Rambled Off by The Manwell

Book One: PILOTS

Heero Yuy

"I've come to say good-bye. I've got a bad feeling about this one."

I remember the grim determination in the line of Duo's usually mobile mouth and only now do I understand: Duo believes he's going to die on this mission.

The thought does something odd to me. It calls up another memory: the brief conversation we'd had as he'd flown our shuttle toward New Edwards. I remember the slight smile on his lips. The fondness in his voice when he'd spoken of returning to space.

Duo doesn't want to die.

Perhaps that's why my hand shakes as I send back my acceptance of J's latest mission: self-detonate. I wonder if Duo's received these orders as well. And, as infuriating as the guy is, I don't wish this on him. I rush to comply with my orders. If I do this, perhaps it will generate enough of a shock that the other pilots will be spared.

I pause. I can't believe I'm thinking like this. We're all soldiers. We all knew what we'd signed on for. None of us really believe our lives are worth more than the cause. Still... why waste resources if it's not necessary?

I open the hatch and step out of my suit, the detonation device in my fist. I haven't got any regrets per se. More like good moments that I'll miss remembering. Flying. I'm going to miss flying. The feel of my Gundam thrumming with power beneath my fingertips. The adrenaline rush from battle. The satisfaction of completing a difficult mission. Duo.

I hesitate at that thought. Why would I miss someone who seems to exist to make my life more difficult? Although I must admit, those few encounters shortly after we'd met had been particularly satisfying. I'd shocked him. Several times. I'd even baited him and clashed wits with him. My lips twitch at that. He'd been so easy to bait in the beginning. He'd practically set himself up for it. I easily remember his reaction when I'd received a new mission aboard the Sweepers' sea craft.

"What is it?"

"I'm on call. An enemy carrier is transporting Gundanium alloy. I'll see to it first thing in the morning."

"Hey! You can't go anywhere with your machine in this shape. We're talkin' miracles here!"

"It'd take a miracle for you, but I can handle it."

Although I have to admit, he'd given it back just as good as I'd dished it out:

"Weell... excuse me for being a mere mortal..."

My slight smirk fades at those last two words. I think that, somehow, he's got that backwards. Someone like him is hardly "merely" anything.

We'd been performing an interesting dance since our initial encounter. Each of us attempting to figure out the motives and objectives of the other. He'd been outgoing and helpful until he'd gotten tired of me continually brushing him off. I suppose, if I regret anything, it would be my attitude then. It would have been nice to have battled wits with him a bit more than I had. I only now realize just how much I'd enjoyed his argumentative conversation. The intellectual challenge. I hadn't been offered many of those thus far in my life.

Oh, God. I'm going to miss Duo. That annoying, frustrating, jeering voice. Those laughing, incorrigible, mischievous eyes. Something inside my chest aches.

I stare straight ahead at my enemy's mobile suit and intone, "Mission accepted."

Notes

This scene is from episode 10 with a brief flashback from episode 4:

: Episode 10: Duo stops by Heero's dorm room just before shipping out to intercept the OZ transport. During the mission, Heero receives orders from Dr. J to not surrender the Gundam. Heero steps out of his Gundam and triggers the self-detonation device.

: Episode 4: The latter half of Duo and Heero's conversation occurred aboard the Sweepers' ship while Heero's evaluating the status of his Gundam.