Impossible
A Gundam Wing Fan Fiction
Rambled Off by The Manwell
Book One: PILOTS
Heero Yuy
I want him to find me. That's why I'd used his name, but if asked I'll never admit to it. I'd been relatively sure that he had figured out that I was still alive but... but I'd wanted him to know I hadn't forgotten him. That only now, after months spent in convalescence, after months spent in Trowa's quiet and undemanding company, have I started to realize that I owe Duo Maxwell a great debt of friendship.
So why, upon seeing his likeness on the vid screen, had my first thought been of eliminating him? I try not to think about that too hard. I try not to dwell on how cold and calculating I can be.
I'd stowed away on a cargo shuttle in a produce crate. Heh... Me, a Gundam pilot, scourge of the earth and the colonies, hiding amongst the fancy lettuce. I'd smiled at that. But the shuttle had gotten me to the colony where they were holding Duo. Holding him while they arranged for his execution. I almost shiver every time I think of that. And I ignore the fact that I've arrived with that very same objective in mind. I can feel the gun tucked into my waistband as the elevator descends. The yellow track lights whisper over me in quick succession as my controlled fall brings me closer to the detention cells. I don't ask myself if I'm ready, if I can really do this. The trick, I've discovered, is not to think about necessary evils too much.
And then I'm there, slinking out into the hall. I see only one guard and feel both relieved and insulted at once. Relieved because this will be relatively simple. Insulted because OZ ought to have more respect for one of us. And Duo is most definitely one of us. I've seen him fight. He's brilliant...
But then my eyes narrow as another alternative for the lack of guards comes to me. Perhaps Duo is in no condition to resist effectively. The anger surprises me. I should have expected something like this from OZ but, oddly enough, I hadn't considered it. My gaze returns to the closed door behind which is one possibly battered Gundam pilot. A rival. A comrade. A dead man.
I tell myself to take this one step at a time. First: take out the guard. I do so quickly, allowing my training to take over and guide my hands in the silent strike. I insert the man's pass card and the door shivers open. I unceremoniously dump my burden into the tiny, unadorned and unlighted cell. Directly opposite me, slumped back against the wall, is Duo.
He looks like shit. Listening to the wheezing quality of his breathing, I sweep my gaze over him, automatically cataloguing his injuries.
"What a surprise," he manages to say in a ghost of his former humor. "Hey, Heero!"
I almost return the greeting. But no. I'm here to kill him. As soon as the thought asserts itself, my gun comes up. He doesn't seem particularly shocked by this turn of events.
"Just in time," he doggedly continues. "They were about to use me and my Gundam for their wicked plans." I watch him struggle painfully to his feet. He leans back against that same dingy wall for support. "If I'm gonna die, it'd seem appropriate for you to do it."
God, he says that as if it's going to make it easier for me to pull the trigger.
"Here," he says, lifting his chin and closing his eyes. "Go right a head and shoot me."
Damn it, I can't do it. I pull back on the trigger but not enough. And I can't make myself curl my index finger tighter around it. Shit. What the hell is wrong with me lately? Duo has to die. This is necessary. But as soon as I assure myself of this, a small part of me rebels. Necessary? Is it really?
I stare at him. I can feel the inclination to finish this mission start to slip over me. Fuck. I'm really going to kill him. I know I am.
God damn open your eyes and stop me, Duo!
"Hey!" he protests and, miracle of miracles, those large unforgettable eyes open. He looks back at me over the muzzle of the gun and even though his voice is incredulous, the look in his eyes isn't. His expression is simply resigned and... sad.
I don't want to kill him.
"You're really gonna shoot me, aren't you?"
I wrestle with my soldier's instincts. I don't want to kill him. I won't kill him.
I reply, "If that's what you want me to do..." But it's not what I want to do. I turn away, unable to stand there and see myself reflected in his eyes. I am such a cold bastard.
I toss him the hand gun. "Your right hand's still okay, isn't it?"
Notes
This scene is from episode 19.
: Episode 19: Heero sees the news report on the captured Gundam pilot and promises to eliminate "all negative factors." Heero infiltrates OZ's detention cells to execute Duo Maxwell before OZ can use him to further their cause. At the last possible moment, Heero changes his mind and rescues him instead.