Yes I finally updated. I am soooooooo very sorry for the long delay. I have been on vacation in Florida, stuck without a computer (torture!) for a week and a half. So, I decided to give you a treat and made this chapter very long. I've been working on it all weekend, and it is now 3 am. I am grateful for the reviews I received for my previous chapters. I'm so glad that people are reading and actually enjoying this story. (Hint hint: keep reviewing, I love them) I didn't geta chance to edit it as much as I would have liked, so just bare with me if you find mistakes. Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this chapter. I really like it. I hope it was worth the wait!
Chapter 4: Into the Penseive
Harry sat in Ron's bedroom, on the end of his bed. His feet were hanging off the sides, touching the wood flooring that made up Ron's floor. He recalled a time when his feet would hang off the bed and not reach the oak floor beneath. There were all so innocent then...Just normal children with cares about school and quidditch and friends. Well, Harry could never be considered 'normal.' He was a marked man from day one, a destined killer. How times have changed...Now thoughts of past loves, like quidditch and brooms and chocolate frog card collections, were deemed trivial and unimportant. Such thoughts were replaced with how long do I have left to live, and how many people have died today because of the war, and how am I going to save the wizarding world... Harry had lost his childhood long ago, and now, at 16, had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He wondered how he was ever going to get through it.
Lost in thought, Harry didn't notice the door open and close. He didn't notice the bed shift as someone sat down next to him. Only when a small hand gently touched his shoulder did he notice the beautiful red-head beside him. Ginny, Harry thought. Ginny, and Ron, and Hermione...that's how I'm going to get through this. They'll always be there. Or at least that's what he hoped. Ginny looked at him, eyes full of concern.
"Harry?" She asked, tilting her head slightly.
Harry looked back, emerald eyes gazing into her brown ones. "I'm fine, don't worry about it." Ginny didn't buy that for a second, but had to go and finish preparing the penseive. She looked over at her brother and Hermione across the room. Hermione was busy gathering notes and flipping through books, no doubt preparing for the journey through the penseive. Ron was sitting on the bed, seemingly looking something up in the book, when in reality watching Hermione busy herself with interest and something else. Was it longing? Ginny didn't know, and knew that now was not the time to ponder such things. Seeing that the two weren't paying attention, she turned back to Harry, and placed both her hands on each of his cheeks, turning his head toward her. She gave him a meaningful look, as if she were trying to transfer some comfort into him via eye contact, then gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, before breaking away from his and going back to the penseive.
She reached the penseive and started tapping the sides with her wand. She felt the eyes of someone on her, and looked up. Hermione was staring at her with a look of confusion and deep thought. Oh dear, did she see me just now? Ginny wondered suddenly, involuntarily glancing over her shoulder at Harry. Her train of thought was interrupted by Ron.
"So, are we ready then?" He asked, looking around at everyone in the room.
"Yes, I should think so." Hermione answered, finally lifting her nose up from her papers. "Right, well, I think, Harry, we should start the memory from just before you were transported to the graveyard. Is that alright with you?"
"That seems fine," Harry replied, then suddenly remembering, "one problem though. I've never actually used a penseive, well for my own memories that is."
"No worries Harry, me and Ron have watched old Percy use this thing like crazy. Back in his days working as an assistant at the Ministry, he used to storm in the house everyday after work and complain that his head was too full of 'important ministry information.'" At this, Ron rolled his eyes. "Anyway, it's rather simple to use, actually. All you have to do is take your wand and place it at your temple. Then concentrate on the memory you want to take out. Once you have locked all your thoughts onto this one memory, simply pull your wand away, willing the memory to go with it and into the penseive. Easy as that."
Harry thought this seemed anything but easy, but took out his wand anyway. He placed its tip to his right temple. All eyes were on him, intently watching for the blue mist of a memory to come out of his head. This made it harder to concentrate, but he had to try. He grudgingly dug into his memory bank for the memory of that night back in fourth year. He found it, and focused all his concentration on that one thought. Feeling like he could concentrate no more, he slowly pulled his wand away from his head. It was a strange feeling. It felt as though someone tossed a bucket of water into his brain, washing the contents of his mind down a drain. He thought he finally understood how Myrtle felt, every time someone flushed her down her toilet.
He watched as blue mist floated from the tip of his wand. Ginny motioned for him to place his wand in the penseive, where a white mist was already swirling. He placed the wand's tip into the white mist and gave it a swirl. When he removed the wand, the memory was no longer attached. The four teenagers peered into the penseive, watching as an image of Harry running through the triwizard maze appeared.
"That's it." Harry explained to them, indicating it was time to enter into the penseive. They each nodded in reply, and took deep breaths. Ginny was the first to approach the penseive, touch the swirly mist, and enter into it. Ron followed his sister. Hermione then stepped up to it, but before he touched the mist, she gave Harry and serious look.
"You're sure this is OK with you, Harry?" She asked. At that moment, Harry felt a swell of affection for Hermione. He was grateful that she was so concerned about his feelings.
"I know it will help with the horcruxes, and while I can't say that I'm happy about it, I know it's necessary. So, ready when you are, Hermione." He finished, gesturing at her to touch the mist. She walked up to it, touched her finger to the surface, and was sucked into Harry's memory. Harry took yet another steadying breath, and walked up to the penseive. He was a Gryffindor. Gryffindors were never afraid.
Ginny touched the swirly white mist of the pensieve and was sucked in. After the feeling of wooziness lifted, she felt her feet plant firmly on the ground. She looked around, taking a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness of the setting she was in. After seeing the thirty-foot hedges surrounding her, she realized she must be in the maze. A second later, her brother plopped down right next to her. She was comforted by his presence. No matter how much she made fun of, pranked, or yelled at Ron, he was always her favorite brother. He understood her in ways her other brothers didn't. He always went out of his way to protect her, from boys to giant snake-monsters.
"Hey," she said to him as he looked around in interest. "Where're the others?"
"They were right behind me, should be along any minute." He took another look around. "Aren't we supposed to see Harry somewhere in—"
But just at that moment, the fourteen year old form of Harry came running around the corner, looking frazzled and out of breath. He stopped about 10 feet from where Ginny and Ron were standing. His wand was held out and at the ready. He kept whipping around in every direction, as if he were expecting something to pop out at him at any moment.
A second later, present-Harry and Hermione dropped down next to them. Harry gave Ginny an encouraging nod and smile, just to let her know again that he was OK with what they were doing. She still didn't believe him. She knew that this must be hard for him, despite whatever he said to her otherwise. The four of them greeted each other briefly, then turned their attention back to the scene in front of them. Past-Harry was still walking around cautiously with his wand drawn out.
"I think I must have started the memory a little earlier than I had tried to. I still haven't reached the Triwizard cup yet. And I think...yep, here comes Cedric now." Present-Harry spoke to them.
As he spoke, Ginny saw the handsome form of the former Cedric Diggory step out onto the path Harry was on about twenty feet in front of Harry. She looked past the boys and saw the Triwizard cup gleaming at them. As soon as she noticed the cup, Cedric and past-Harry must have noticed it too, for they both broke out into a run for it, Cedric in the lead. All of a sudden, Harry abruptly stopped. Had Ginny, Ron and Hermione actually been there, they would have slammed right into Harry. Instead, they simply went right through him. Present-Harry, knowing what was coming, stayed off to the side, smirking at his three friends.
"Why don't you warn us next time you know your past-self is going to stop all of a sudden. That was creepy. Hermione said, turning to glare at present-Harry. She glanced over at Ron and caught the look of horror on his face. "Ron, what's wrong?"
Ron, looking terrified, pointed behind Ginny and Hermione, looking about fifteen upwards. Dreading what she might see, Ginny slowly turned around and let out a scream. Towering over the hedges in front of her, Cedric, and past-Harry was a giant fifteen foot, black, hairy spider. No wonder Ron was freaking out. Present-Harry, seeing Ginny's terror, came up behind her and took her hand.
"It's OK," he whispered to her. "It's just the past." The warmth his hand brought to hers gave her comfort, and set her at ease, somewhat.
Past-Harry yelled to Cedric to watch out for the spider. Cedric stepped out of the way just in time to avoid a giant pincer coming at him. He tripped over a root sticking out of the ground and as he fell, dropped his wand. Past-Harry started throwing curses at the spider, but to no avail. The giant spider didn't even seem to notice the spells. It just kept advancing on the two boys. All of sudden, the spider changed directions and directed his attention at past-Harry. It swooped down upon the fourteen year old boy and scooped him up in its pincers. Ginny and Hermione both let out a horrified gasp and Ron whimpered as past-Harry was lifted twelve feet into the air by the spider. The girls let out another muffled cry as past-Harry's leg connected with one of the spider's sharp pincers and a deep gash appeared on his leg. Ginny squeezed Harry's hand tighter. Finally, Cedric and Harry managed to aim stunners at the spider's underbelly at the same time, knocking out the giant arachnid. This meant that past-Harry dropped twelve feet to the ground, landing on his leg, and breaking it. Everyone cringed as they heard something crack.
"Man, Harry. You never told us about battling a giant spider!" Ron breathed, finally able to speak now that the spider was unconscious.
"Well it wasn't much of a battle, was it? More like me and Cedric getting our butts kicked." Present-Harry said to them. Harry was always so modest, Ginny thought to herself.
Once Cedric and past-Harry left the spider behind, they made their way to the cup. As they both approached it, they stood transfixed in front of it, clearly debating something. Past-Harry was using the hedge for support in standing, now that his injured leg could no longer hold himself up. He told Cedric to take the cup, then Cedric told him to take it. They both argued this for a minute or so, until they decided that they would both take the cup. Present-Harry let out a deep sigh.
"I should never have let him take that cup with me. He would still be alive today if I had just stopped him from touching it."
Ginny looked Harry in the eye. "Harry, you cannot blame yourself for what happened. It was Cedric's choice, and there is no way you could have realized the cup was a portkey."
At that moment, Cedric and past-Harry both touched the cup, and the scene changed from the maze to a path of grass just beyond a graveyard. The four of them stumbled at the abruptness of the change.
"This is it Harry?" Hermione asked tentatively. Harry nodded grimly.
"Wormtail should be here any minute." He announced.
Ginny watched as Harry and Cedric contemplated where they were, and whether or not it was part of the third task. Out of nowhere, past-Harry yelled out in pain and clutched his forehead, dropping to his knees. Past-Harry, obviously knowing the reason why his scar hurt and figuring out who must be there, desperately tried to tell Cedric to leave while he still could. Cedric refused. Just then, the sneaky form of Wormtail appeared in front of the two boys, clutching something in a bundle of robes. Before Ginny had time to prepare for what she knew was about to happen, Wormtail whipped his wand through the air, shouting "Avada Kedavra!"
Present-Harry watched the seen, grief taking him over. His breathing was shallow and his eyes were shut tight. In fact, Ginny wasn't even sure if he had watched any of it.
"Oh dear..." Hermione let out a sad whimper, and hugged Ron for comfort. Ron looked just as sad as she did, watching his schoolmate fall to the ground, never to get back up.
Wormtail approached past-Harry, who was now lying helpless on the ground in agony and grief. Wormtail grabbed past-Harry by his upper body and proceeded to drag him toward the graveyard in the distance.
"What a horrible, horrible man." Ginny muttered, as she watched past-Harry being dragged by the evil little rat.
"Harry?" Hermione addressed him from his side. "I assume the pain you're feeling is from your scar?"
"Yes," Harry replied. "Why?"
"Well, that would mean V-Voldemort is very near by, right?" Harry again nodded. "I don't see him anywhere, where is he?"
Harry answered her. "You see that bundle of robes Wormtail is carrying?" He pointed to the sack of dirty cloth Wormtail held in his hand.
"That's You-Know-Who! Ron asked in amazement. Harry nodded affirmatively. "Bloody Hell!" Exclaimed Ron.
At this statement, Hermione started scribbling madly in her small notebook she brought. Ideas must have been flowing from her mind. Harry was curios to see what she was writing, but he was distracted by the fact that Wormtail had finally reached Riddle's gravestone.
Ginny, Hermione, and Ron watched as past-Harry was picked up by Wormtail and slammed against the gravestone marked RIDDLE. Wormtail conjured ropes and they flew around Harry and the tombstone, binding Harry to it in what looked like a very uncomfortable position. They watched as Wormtail then took out some spare cloth from his pocket and jammed it into Harry's mouth. Ginny buried her face into Harry's shoulder. She knew this was going to be awful to witness, but now that she was actually there and seeing it for real, watching as Harry was being tied up and hurt, she didn't know if she could handle it as well as she thought she could have. Just then she jumped as a huge snake slithered past tied-up-Harry's legs. Past-Harry's eyes widened at the sight of Voldemort's snake, Nagini.
Present-Harry saw that Ginny was disturbed by the scene taking place before her. He hugged her tight to him, just as Ron was doing to Hermione, who had stopped taking notes when Harry was slammed and bound up against the tombstone.
"So you and Dumbledore think that that snake's one of his horcruxes?" Hermione asked Harry.
"Yeah, but we don't know anything for sure yet. It's just speculation." He answered.
"Yeah, but Dumbledore's 'speculations' usually turn out to be right, don't they." Ron said. Harry silently agreed.
Harry turned his attention back to his memory. "This is the part you'll want to pay close attention to. Wormtail's about to start the process of bringing Voldemort back to body form." He informed his friends. They all looked wide-eyed toward Wormtail, anxious to see what happened next.
Ginny watched as the cauldron in front of past-Harry lit up as if on fire. Wormtail was busying himself around the cauldron, obviously preparing for something that was soon to come. At the next thing that happened, Hermione and Ginny screamed, and Ron looked like he as about to feint. Wormtail had taken apart the robes and revealed what was inside: the shriveled up, child-like, scaly, dark skinned form with eyes of red slits that was Voldemort. Wormtail dropped the baby-like form into the cauldron, where it landed with a dull thud. Wormtail then moved on to the rest of his tasks. He went over to the grave Harry was tied on and drew out his wand.
Hermione, Ron and Ginny watched with rapt attention as Wormtail uttered the first words of the ritual. "Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son!" Past-Harry looked utterly horrified as the grave beneath him started to shake and crack, and eventually a swirl of particles rose out of it and into the cauldron. The cauldron turned blue. Present-Harry knew what was going to come next, and started to warn Ginny and the others, but they didn't listen in time. The result was that they all jumped about ten feet into the air and let out horrified gasps and shouts. They had just watched Wormtail cut his hand off, muttering "Flesh of the servant, willingly give, you will revive your master."
Ginny heard, rather than saw Wormtail put his severed hand into the cauldron, as her head was now buried into Harry's shoulder once again. Again, she reminded herself that she had to stay strong for Harry. However hard this was on her, it must be ten times harder for Harry. With that in mind, she ventured a look at the scene before her. She immediately regretted it. For the moment she chose to look was the moment Wormtail uttered the last of the ritual: "Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe." The rat-like man wobbled up to past-Harry, knife drawn. Past-Harry struggled against his ropes as best as he could, but it was obvious he could not move at all. Wormtail pierced his arm with the dagger and drew blood. Again, Ginny cringed and buried her head into Harry's arm.
A few moments later, more gasps made their way out of Hermione, Ginny and Ron as the fully grown, adult form of Lord Voldemort rose out of the cauldron. However shocked she must have been, Hermione took out her notepad again and started scribbling on it. Harry didn't know how much good those notes were going to do her, seeing that her hand was trembling the whole time. She would be lucky if she could even understand them.
The four of them watched as Voldemort called his death eaters to him, and one by one they all appeared. They watched as Voldemort created a new hand for Wormtial. They watched as the newly risen form of Voldemort approached the tied-up Harry at the tombstone. Voldemort explained to past-Harry that he was tied to his father's grave, and that the house on the hillside belonged to his father and grandparents. Death eaters started apparating all around the tombstone, and Voldemort then spoke to them about betrayal and loyalty. All the while, Hermione taking notes.
Voldemort then walked over to past-Harry again. He explained about the blood protection Harry's mother had given to him when he died. Ginny watched in a mingle of horror and hatred as Voldemort showed how he could now touch Harry, and he slid a long, pale finger across his cheek. Past-Harry cringed at the touch, but still was unable to move a muscle. Voldemort proceeded to explain how Harry had thwarted him in the past, and how he had devised a plan that would bring Harry here to him that night.
Harry didn't want his friends to witness any more of this memory. He didn't want them to see how weak he had been, and how he hadn't been able to properly fight Voldemort. Mostly, he didn't want them to see the pain that he had suffered that night. He didn't want pity. While he got that from the rest of the wizarding world, he didn't want or need it from his friends. Reluctantly, he returned focus back to the memory.
Voldemort finished explaining how he had lured Harry there. He then walked up to past-Harry, wand drawn, and shouted "Crucio!"
Tied-up Harry writhed and thrashed against the tombstone, barely able to move and clearly struggling against the ropes.
"No!" Ginny shouted at no one in particular. She was crying now, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't bare to see Harry suffer like this. He was so helpless, and she was so helpless, because there was nothing she could do to prevent this from happening. Past-Harry's head drooped down once the curse was lifted, and his body hung limply in the ropes that tied him.
Beside her, Harry stroked her back. "Ginny, please, it's alright. It's the past, it already happened..." Harry tried to soothe her, and when it looked like she was not comforted, he said to her, "Maybe we should leave. I don't want you to see anymore...It's just too...well...upsetting."
Ginny looked around. Hermione was in tears beside her, and Ron looked utterly blank and miserable. She wasn't about to leave now. She made is this far. Plus, she felt that if Harry finally showed them the rest of the memory, then maybe he would find some peace with it. Yes, she would stick it out...for Harry.
She shook her head at Harry's suggestion, and turned back to the memory. Voldemort gave Wormtail an order to untie Harry and give him back his wand. Wormtail approached Harry's limp form and started to undo the ropes. Past-Harry scrambled to find his feet to support his own weight before the ropes were untied. Wormtail then pulled the wad of material from Harry's mouth. Harry staggered to his feet with unease. Ginny figured his injured leg was still causing him much pain. She was afraid of what was to come next. The death eaters closed in around him and Voldemort, and they stood facing each other, wands drawn. Voldemort taunted Harry, asking him if he had ever been taught to duel.
"Come," Voldemort spoke, "Bow to death, Harry..." And with that, Voldemort placed the imperius curse upon Harry. Miserably, Ginny watched as Harry's back unnaturally bent to obey Voldemort's wishes. How she hated him
His friends grimly watched as again past-Harry was hit with the cruciatus curse. He writhed and screamed his heart out on the ground. Present-Harry was somewhat embarrassed at the way he was acting under the curse. Again, he didn't want his friends to see this, but he kept going anyway.
Ginny felt a swell of pride and admiration for Harry when he fought and refused Voldemort's imperius curse the second time around. This time, Harry didn't obey, and fought it. "Good on you, mate" Ron commented from Harry's left. Hermione silently nodded her agreement, tears still leaking down her cheeks as she stared at the battle taking place before them.
Past-Harry and Voldemort dueled some more, and finally the moment came when Harry was hidden behind the tombstone, while Voldemort was taunting him again, saying that he was a coward like his father. At this, past-Harry whipped out from behind the tombstone and shouted a spell at Voldemort.
He yelled "Expelliarmus!"
Ginny gasped as at the same time, Voldemort yelled "Avada Kedavra!"
This was the part present-Harry didn't think he could watch again. Even in his dreams it was unbearable. He gripped Ginny's hand tighter, no longer to comfort Ginny, but to seek out his own comfort from her.
Ginny felt Harry's grip tighten as the two beams from the spells connected in mid-air. She knew that something big was about to happen just from the look of apprehension on Harry's face. She couldn't imaging how it could possible get any worse than it already was. Ginny watched as the beam of light turned into a dome of webbed light around Harry and Voldemort. The connection between the two spells moved closer toward Harry's wand, and his arm began to shake violently. Then the connection started moving toward Voldemort, until it finally made contact with his wand. Fear was etched on his ugly face, and Ginny was glad.
The four watched as the ghostly form of Cedric Diggory rose from the wand. Hermione, Ron and Ginny all sucked in their breath. Hermione started writing furiously in her notebook again as another form came out of Voldemort's wand, and another, and another, until a tall man with untidy black hair came out. Ginny put her hand to her mouth and Hermione seemed to forget how to breath, as the form of James Potter appeared before them. Ginny looked to present-Harry, and saw a single tear slide down his face, which he hastily tried to wipe off and hide.
Next came the form of Lily Potter. They talked with their son about how to escape, and soon Harry broke the connection. While Voldemort was temporarily distracted by the ghostly forms of his victims, past-Harry ran toward the body of Cedric, dodging death eater curses left and right. When past-Harry reached Cedric's body, he shouted "Accio cup!" And the Triwizard cup came flying toward him.
They were transported back to Hogwarts, and a mass of people came rushing toward them. "The rest you've already seen for yourselves." Present-Harry said to them, and with that he pulled them out of the pensieve.
They landed as a unit in Ron's bedroom. They all stared at each other, mostly at Harry, and were too stunned to make a sound. Despite the grief and pain that he had just once again lived through, Harry couldn't help but feel somewhat relieved, knowing that he had finally shared this with his friends, and would no longer have to relive it again.
So what did you think? I really got into the whole flashback and put a lot of detail into the events that took place. I've just always wondered what Harry's friends would think about some of the horrors Harry has experienced in his past. He's always so modest and closed-up about his battles with Voldemort and the hardships in his life. I don't think his friends really ever understood just how much he's been through. That's what I'm hoping to portray with this story. If anyone knows any stories about going through Harry's memories in the penseive, I would love to hear about them. I hope everyone enjoyed it. I'm open to suggestions from anyone about what should happen with the horcruxes or with Ginny and Harry's relationship. While I have a pretty good idea of what's going to happen soon, nothing is set in stone, so thoughts and ideas are always welcome.
And I realized that I have been spelling "Penseive" wrong the whole time, and it's really spelled "Pensieve." Oh well.
As always, I would really appreciate feedback. I never appreciated reviews until I started writing my own story. They really are the best part about writing.