Chapter 5 – Get a life!

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N Thanks for all of the reviews I received, I appreciate everyone who took the time to click the button at the end of the page at let me know that people are still interested. Hope this one satisfies your needs.

BTW – this angst filled chapter is written in honor of Su Freund and The Abbot of Beregost – they encourage me to embrace my love of writing angst :-)

"Why did you do it?", Jack elaborated staring at her so intently that Sam thought he was actually trying to look into her soul.

She took a deep breath and spoke the first words that came to mind. "I needed to get a life".

A look of utter confusion crossed Jack's face and he opened and closed his mouth twice in quick succession. "Say again, Carter" finally came out on the third attempt. "I said, I needed to get a life". He looked at her incredulously and said "You needed to get a life so you put my profile on the web. Sorry. I know I'm not the smart one of the two of use but I'm missing the connection here".

Without thinking she began to speak. "Sir, I don't know why you put yourself down like that, I mean, I know you're not a master of wormhole physics but as a strategist …".

"Carter!" Jack raised his voice and his hand at once. She snapped to attention out of habit and then relaxed slightly when she saw his expression. His eyes were imploring and his face had softened. He said "Carter, I need you to explain this to me. Please."

"OK Jack. But can we walk while we talk. I think Daniel and T'ealc are getting a little antsy standing over there pretending they're not watching us." A very slight smile touched Jack's lips and since the rare use of his first name had not gone unnoticed by him, he nodded his assent and called "Move out" to nobody in particular and started to walk.

He saw the slight nod of the head he received from T'ealc and didn't miss the same gesture that Carter gave to Daniel . Reassurance spread around the small group and their colleagues began to walk ahead as before and Sam joined Jack on their six. Both were lost in thought as they walked. Jack was contemplating the use of his first name and relieved that it meant she was going to be honest with him and tell him what was going on. Sam was trying to formulate her words in a way that could possibly explain her intentions without hurting him anymore then she obviously already had. She was kicking herself for going down this path in the first place but she figured that what's done is done and there was no point in dwelling on the wisdom of her original set of decisions.

Jack's emotions were reeling but the dominant feeling was one of confusion. Confusion, and impatience, but the confusion was definitely winning and it wasn't an intellectual confusion, one born of a lack of understanding of how some Tok'ra technology worked or of how some biological foe would affect a planet. No this was an emotional confusion the likes of which he hadn't experienced in years. Maybe even 20 years B.C. 20 years Before Carter. It was at the very least before Sara. There had been little confusion in his marriage. Just a resigned knowledge that it wouldn't work. Sara realized it before he had but he wasn't confused by her decisions. Just saddened.

But today, walking on a planet on the other side of the galaxy he was angry and hurt and definitely confused. He thought once again how he had honestly thought that he and Sam had an understanding of what was between them and an understanding of the fact that they would wait for each other until they could do something about it.

His thoughts were interrupted by Sam's voice. "So", she began and then paused. "So?" questioned Jack, hating the silence. Hating the wait. "So I needed to get a life. You told me so yourself. Many, many times. So I decided to return the favor. I mean I'm not the only one here who works all the hours that God sends. I know I spend a lot of time in my lab when I'm off duty but I enjoy my work and frankly I don't see you rushing off the base to some amazing social life."

Sam stopped talking simply because she had run out of breath. Jack took the opportunity to defend himself. "I go to Minnesota whenever I get the chance. I get away from the SGC." Sam responded, "Yes but in Minnesota what do you do? You hangout at your cabin. With fish. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think you have any amazing hot dates while you're there".

She gasped and her hand flew to cover her mouth as the last words came out complete with sarcastic tone. She couldn't believe that she had actually said that out loud. To him. To her CO. But worse she had said it to Jack, the man she cared about more than any man she had ever known. And now she had let these thoughts pass her lips which were at the very best presumptuous and at worst extremely hurtful.

"Crap! Sorry Sir! I didn't mean that. I mean I'm sure you have lots of amazing dates in Minnesota. I mean I didn't mean to imply that weren't date worthy. I meant… Oh Crap! This is just going all wrong. This isn't what I meant for this to be, Sir." She was now looking at the ground trying to hide her embarrassment, frustration and the tears that were now beginning to fill her eyes.

The sound of laughter made her abruptly raise her head forgetting the tears she had been trying to hide. She saw Jack looking at her obviously laughing at her discomfort and then spotting the upset written on her face, he quickly moved towards her putting an arm around her shoulder. "It's ok. Really", he said, "It's obvious that you meant no harm by what you did. Misguided but not malicious. Right?"

"Yes Sir", Sam sniffed. "You kept saying you wanted me to get a life and it made me realize that you needed to get a life too. I was tired and not thinking straight and I thought that his might help. I'm sorry if I went about it all wrong. Can you forgive me?"

Jack stared down into the puppy dog eyes that were looking up at him and he knew that he had already forgiven her. She obviously just to wanted him to be happy and how could he stay mad at her for that. Especially her. He sighed and gave her a squeeze.

"Of course I can. You're probably right that we both need to get a life and I promise you that we'll get one. Now as long as you promise to delete the profile we can forget all about this. OK?"

"OK", she replied.

Jack broke away and began to move in the direction of his teammates. If he had turned back to Sam at that moment and looked closely at his 2IC he'd have seen a twinkle in her eye and if he had listened closely he'd have heard her say "Yes Jack, you're right. We're both going to get a life".

She smiled to herself and began to walk wondering what the future would now bring.

A/N Please review if you have a minute. Back to the IM in the next chapter I think :-)