Chapter 9 – Amazing
Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.
A/N - Once again your reviews are so great. They truly give me the impetuous to keep writing this story even when real life totally calls me in another direction. I hope that it is still worth reading especially since this week we have an extra long chapter!
Sam finished typing "Hi Scarecrow!" and waited, not realizing she was drumming her fingers on the desk. The action wasn't so much to do with impatience, although that certainly was a factor, 'Where the hell is he?', but more to do with the anxiousness she felt about his response.
For the hundredth time she asked herself what on earth she had been thinking when she had set this all up. She had wanted to get to know Jack better outside of work but the frat regs were in the way. So she had set up this elaborate plan to 'be' someone else but it hadn't worked out the was she had wished. Other than a tiny bit of flirting that first evening, the conversations had never gone the way she had expected them to. No major 'this is who I am outside of work'. No 'let's flirt like mad and have crazy cyber-sex'. Nothing.
No what she'd gotten was a major argument from the man she loved and lots of tears for her trouble.
And now she sat, a little after 10 o'clock, wondering what Jack would say about his wants and needs. Now she'd had time to reflect upon her stupid plan, she prayed that she, Sam, was part of the equation and hoped that she, Dorothy, wasn't. God it would feel so awful if he came back and said that he wanted some mindless sex-based virtual relationship. Then again it could be worse, she thought. He could say that he wanted some mindless sex-based physical relationship!
And Jack always said that she was the smart one. Yeah right!
And so she sat and waited for what felt like an eternity before the IM 'ding' sounded and Sam knew it was time for her to face her fate. She knew that she needed to keep the banter light, and so the conversation began.
Scarecrow – Hi Dorothy.
Dorothy – Whatcha wearing?
Scarecrow – Jeans and a long sleeved T
Dorothy – Wanna know what I'm wearing?
Scarecrow – Sorry. Still no on that one.
Dorothy – Oh you are just no fun are you?
Scarecrow – I'll have you know that I can be amazing fun when I'm in the mood.
Dorothy – So you're not in the mood now?
Scarecrow – No
Dorothy – And why is that?
Scarecrow –You!
Dorothy – Me? What have I done?
Scarecrow – It's not what you've done, it's what you said.
Dorothy – Precisely what did I say that has you in a bad mood when we haven't even 'spoken' in 24 hours.
Scarecrow – That's just it. You put it in my head that I needed to think about what I wanted and that's what I've been doing since we last 'spoke'.
Dorothy – and what did you come up with?
Scarecrow – Nothing that I want to discuss with you. I just logged on tonight to say goodbye.
Dorothy – Oh. Well that wasn't what I expected. I thought that at least from a cyber perspective we got on quite well. So why do you want to 'leave'?
Scarecrow – I'm really bad at this touchy feely stuff but here goes.
Scarecrow – I don't want to string you along thinking that I'm interested in pursuing a relationship with you.
Dorothy – One – that's not bad for someone who claims to be "bad at this touchy feely stuff". Two – That's what you came up with after thinking for 24 hours? That you don't want me? Wow you must lead a very insular life!
Scarecrow – Oh very witty! No that's not what I came up with. It's just one simple outcome of what I came up with.
Dorothy – So?
Scarecrow – So I realized that I pretty much want what you want.
Dorothy – You want the man? The Children? The Career? The happiness?
Scarecrow – Oh you are just so funny aren't you?
Dorothy – I try:-) Go on.
Scarecrow – You know what I mean. I want the wife the kids, the happily ever after.
Dorothy – Cool! So do you have anyone in mind? (Other than me of course since you hardly know me, we've never met and you just dumped me , I think!)
Scarecrow – No one that it could happen with. So let's just drop the subject and say goodnight.
Dorothy – Not so fast, Mister! So there is someone that you'd like to have all of that with? The marriage, 2.4 kids and dog?
Scarecrow – Yes.
Dorothy – Tell me about her.
Scarecrow – Why?
Dorothy – Because you're not interested in what I may or may not have to offer and at least I'll have an idea of what you turned me down for. That and it sounds like it would be good for you to talk about it.
Scarecrow – Fine.
Scarecrow – She's amazing!
Dorothy – Wow! Amazing! No wonder I don't measure up:-) So what's so amazing about her?
Scarecrow – She just is.
Dorothy – Do you realize that you sound like a 10 year old? Be a grown up. Describe the woman of your dreams.
Scarecrow – Will it make you go away if I do?
Dorothy – Maybe. And that answer will have to do you.
Scarecrow – OK. But remember you asked for it.
Scarecrow – She is incredibly beautiful and her eyes sparkle and when she smiles at me – Wow! She has this smile that I've convinced myself she reserves just for me. And when she smiles that smile, she captures my heart. And it happens every time. And I just fall more and more in love with her.
Dorothy – Take a breath, Scarecrow!
Dorothy - Well that was high praise indeed. So she's beautiful and has a nice smile. Are you only interested in her looks?
Scarecrow – What did you teach me? Oh yeah. LOL!
Dorothy – Why are you laughing?
Scarecrow – Because when I think of her "looks", as you call them, just happen to be the easiest thing to write about. She is absolutely gorgeous and no one could ever dispute me on that.
Scarecrow – However, something that is not so easy to write about is her intellect.
Dorothy – Why? She isn't that smart? Is that what you're trying to find the words to say?
Scarecrow – No, Miss Know it all. It isn't. In fact it is the complete opposite.
Dorothy – Huh?
Scarecrow – The only way I can describe her is as a complete genius. She is so smart that it's hard to comprehend.
Scarecrow – In fact she is so smart, and her ideas are so incredible, that even I have a hard time understanding her and I have two Masters degrees.
Dorothy – You do?
Scarecrow –Yes
Dorothy – OK, stop trying to impress me. You already told me that you're not interested so it really isn't necessary.
Scarecrow – You don't believe that I have two Masters?
Dorothy – Well you never said anything about them.
Scarecrow – When?
Dorothy – I mean wrote about them. In your profile.
Scarecrow – I didn't write about them because I didn't write my profile. Carter, who did write my profile, didn't write about them because she doesn't know about them.
Dorothy – Oh OK. So does your true love know how smart you are?
Scarecrow – No. Because I like it when she explains things to me. Her eyes light up and she gets so excited as if she's learning about them herself for the first time. And it obviously makes her really happy and I'm happy when she's happy.
Dorothy – So you're telling me you understand everything she explains to you even though she's supposedly a genius?
Scarecrow – No, not everything. But a lot of it – yes.
Dorothy – So what the heck are these mystery Masters in then?
Scarecrow – What does it matter?
Dorothy – It matters. To me.
Scarecrow – Military Strategy and Astronomy.
Dorothy – Wow! You really are as smart as I always thought you were.
Scarecrow – Excuse me? You've known me what? A week?
Dorothy – Well to become a Colonel you must be pretty smart.
Scarecrow – Shows how little you really know about the military. Brat or not. I know some absolute idiots who are Colonels.
Scarecrow – Anyway, are we done with this little interrogation session?
Dorothy – Hmm, let me see. Almost.
Scarecrow – What else could you possibly want to know?
Dorothy – Well, if your mystery lady is so gorgeous and so brilliant, how come you're not together? Is she attached to someone else?
Scarecrow – You could say that.
Dorothy – What does that mean?
Scarecrow – It means that no matter what, she can't be attached to me right now.
Dorothy – God this is like pulling teeth! Care to elaborate.
Scarecrow – It's complicated and I'm not sure I want to get into it right now. It's hard enough just talking about all this.
Scarecrow – Do you know how hard it is to love someone and no be able to be with them?
Dorothy – Actually I do have some experience with that, yes.
Scarecrow – So you can empathize with me then.
Dorothy – Unfortunately I can.
Scarecrow – So can we not talk about Samantha anymore then.
Jack waited for a response but none came.
Scarecrow – Are you there?
Scarecrow – Hello?
Dorothy – Sorry. My phone rang. I have to go. Something important has come up.
Scarecrow – Everything ok?
Dorothy – Fine. I'll meet you back here same time on Sunday. I have a few things I need to take care of over the next few days.
Scarecrow – OK.
Dorothy – Bye.
Before he could realize that she had set up another "meeting", Sam quickly logged off the IM system. However, she kept the conversation window open and reread what they had written.
"Oh my God! He said it. He actually said he loves me!", Sam whispered as she stared at the screen re-reading the words again and again.
Ten minutes across town, Jack was trying to figure out why something was sitting right with him about the conversation with Dorothy. A red flag had been raised again but he couldn't out his finger on exactly why it had been raised.
Then he swore out loud as two unrelated realizations hit him at once. Firstly, he had agreed to meet up with Dorothy again (how had she managed that?) and secondly, he had admitted, in writing no less to a total stranger, what he had refused to admit to himself for years. He loved Samantha Carter.
Jack banged his hand down on the table in front of him so hard that his skin stung and yelled to no one in particular. "Damn!"