Chapter 13 – Worth the risk
Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.
A/N – I am so grateful for all the reviews I received and that is why you are seeing a new chapter in the same week!
So just imagine … I might get another one out quickly if you send me some feedback on this extra-special IM only chapter?
Scarecrow – Hi Dorothy!
Dorothy – Hi. I'm glad you're here. I didn't think you'd show tonight.
Scarecrow – Why?
Dorothy – No reason really. Just had a strange day and I figured the way my luck was going, you wouldn't be here when I logged on tonight.
Scarecrow – Do you want to talk about it?
Dorothy – No, it's ok. So what's going on with you tonight?
Scarecrow – Actually I had what could be called a "strange" day too. In fact I was hoping you'd be able to help me.
Dorothy – Me? Why?
Scarecrow – Why not?
Dorothy – I mean why do you need me to help you? I thought you didn't even want to speak to me anymore.
Scarecrow – Yeah. Sorry about that. If you don't want to talk to me after what I said before I understand.
Scarecrow – But I could really do with some friendly advice right now and before you were so free to give it, so I just thought …
Dorothy – Sorry. As I said, I had a strange day. Sure. What do you need advice about?
Scarecrow – Well remember the other day when I told you about the woman of my dreams?
Dorothy – Yeah. What's her name again?
Scarecrow – Samantha
Dorothy – Right. And?
Scarecrow – Well. I asked her out to dinner.
Dorothy – And?
Scarecrow – We went to dinner.
Dorothy – I thought you said she was attached?
Scarecrow – No. I said that she couldn't be attached to me right now.
Dorothy – But she went to dinner with you?
Scarecrow – Yes. Look, I told you it's complicated. Can we just move past this so I can tell you what happened?
Dorothy – OK but I want you to explain to me later what's so complicated about this relationship. OK?
Scarecrow – OK
Dorothy – So what happened at dinner?
Scarecrow – Well for a start she looked amazing.
Dorothy – God you are such a man! You always go for the looks first.
Scarecrow – I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact I think she'd be flattered that I'm telling you how gorgeous I thought she looked.
Dorothy – I bet she would!
Scarecrow –Can I continue?
Dorothy – Knock yourself out.
Scarecrow – So we went to this really nice French place and it was great. We chatted about everything under the sun. Stuff we would never talk about at work. But we also talked about work which is something I can usually never do. You know military clearance and all that!
Scarecrow – It was so comfortable.
Dorothy – Uh oh! That doesn't sound good. No sparks? No attraction?
Scarecrow – I didn't say that. There were plenty of sparks and for your information there's been attraction from the first day I laid eyes on her.
Scarecrow – I just meant that there was no awkwardness.
Dorothy – Cool. So you had some nice food and good conversation. Sounds like a great first date.
Scarecrow – Yeah, it does, doesn't it? But it wasn't a date.
Dorothy – Huh?
Scarecrow – Not a date.
Dorothy – It's complicated, right?
Scarecrow – Right
Dorothy – So what do you need my advice about?
Scarecrow – Well after dinner I drove her home and she kissed me.
Dorothy – She kissed you?
Scarecrow – Yup.
Dorothy – Did you kiss her back?
Scarecrow – Yup.
Dorothy – OK. Maybe I'm just stupid but I don't see what the problem is. You had a great time at dinner. When you dropped her home you enjoyed … hold on – you did enjoy it right?
Scarecrow – Hell yes!
Dorothy – OK so you enjoyed a kiss. I really don't see what the problem is here.
Scarecrow – Today she told me that she couldn't kiss me.
Dorothy – Huh? What did I miss? What do you mean today?
Scarecrow – I asked her to come to my place so I could make her brunch.
Dorothy – Hmm. A second date!
Scarecrow – It wasn't a date.
Dorothy – Yeah! Yeah! Go on.
Scarecrow – So she came over and I cooked for her and we had a really great day.
Dorothy – Ok. I'm really happy for you but now I'm just getting frustrated. Why do you need my advice? Everything is obviously working out fine.
Scarecrow – Hey. Can I get a little patience from you while I'm telling my story?
Dorothy – Fine.
Scarecrow – So she came over to my place late this morning. We spent hours just hanging out, relaxing, chatting, eating. You know the usual having brunch kind of stuff. Then we finally got around to cleaning up, putting dishes in the sink and we bumped off each other and I kissed her.
Dorothy – You kissed her?
Scarecrow – I kissed her.
Dorothy – Did she kiss you back?
Scarecrow – At first, but then she pulled away and then literally ran away.
Dorothy – Just like that? Did she say anything?
Scarecrow- Not really. She just said that she couldn't do it, grabbed her stuff and left. I went after her but she just got in her car and drove away.
Dorothy – So you've no idea why she would have rushed off?
Scarecrow- Nope. None at all.
Dorothy – Really? You've absolutely no clue?
Scarecrow – I just said I didn't.
Dorothy – Hmm. Well what about this whole "it's complicated" thing? What about the fact that she can't be "attached" to you right now? Care to explain that, since, just maybe, that might have something to do with her reaction.
Scarecrow – You think?
Dorothy – Maybe.
Scarecrow – OK. You come from a military family right? So do you know what the fraternization regulations are?
Dorothy – I think so. Basically you're not supposed to have an inappropriate relationship between two people in the same chain of command. Is that right?
Scarecrow – Close enough. And that's it in a nutshell.
Dorothy – What is?
Scarecrow – What makes it complicated.
Dorothy – The frat regs? Is this woman in the same chain of command as you ?
Scarecrow – Yes she is.
Dorothy – Oh, ok. But that's not impossible to deal with. I mean can't one of you just transfer to another unit within the base.
Scarecrow – Unfortunately, it would actually mean one of us doing something a little bit more radical than that. I'm the 2IC of the Command within which we work so some may argue that the only way she would no longer be under my command would be for her to transfer out of our entire command.
Dorothy – And you don't think she would be willing to do that?
Scarecrow – It doesn't matter. I would never want her to do that. I would never ask her to do that. She is one of the most incredible soldiers I've ever served with and as I told you before she's an absolute genius.
Scarecrow – What I'm trying to say is this – she is essential to the work we do and none of my wants or needs would justify taking her away from that.
Dorothy – What about HER wants and needs?
Scarecrow - Same thing. Irrelevant.
Dorothy – OK. So what about you? Could you do something different?
Scarecrow – Unfortunately, no.
Dorothy – You don't want to?
Scarecrow – Once again, it's irrelevant. I've been told by the powers that be that I won't be given permission to transfer, or for that matter even retire, for a long time to come.
Dorothy – You already looked into this?
Scarecrow – Yep. I told you that I love her. I would do just about anything for a chance to be with her. Another chance at happiness. Unfortunately Uncle Sam isn't so concerned about my happiness right now.
Dorothy – Oh. Wow! That's really … big.
Dorothy – Does you CO know about this request?
Scarecrow – Yep.
Dorothy – Shit! Does he know the reason behind your request?
Scarecrow – Well if you're asking if I said to him "George, I need to transfer or retire because I'm in love with Samantha Carter and I want a chance to find out if this thing between us can truly work?", then no.
Dorothy – So what did you tell him?
Scarecrow – That it was for personal reasons.
Dorothy – Good.
Scarecrow – Good?
Dorothy – Yes. I mean it would get you in trouble if you told him that – frat regs and all.
Scarecrow – Maybe but it doesn't matter now since I was turned down anyway which makes everything that happened this weekend even harder. It was all so right. With Sam I mean. It was how things should be. Us together. Happy, able to get together, if you know what I mean.
Dorothy – Yeah, I think I do.
Scarecrow – But she ran away. From me. From my house. From my kiss.
Scarecrow – I don't understand it. I'm just so confused right now.
Dorothy – Did you ever think that's maybe how she feels right now too?
Scarecrow - Confused?
Dorothy – Yeah. And maybe scared too. You told me that if you begin a relationship that it would be against the regs.
Scarecrow – Yep.
Dorothy – So maybe that's what she's scared of. Maybe she had a wonderful time too and realized how perfect it could all be. But then she remembered that she wasn't supposed to feel that way, act that way … and she panicked.
Scarecrow – You think that could be it?
Dorothy – I think it's very plausible.
Scarecrow –So what do I do now?
Dorothy – I'm not sure. She did kiss you after dinner the other night so she definitely has feelings for you. And you said that you love her.
Scarecrow – I do love her. Very much.
Dorothy – So maybe she's just concerned about beginning a relationship with you at the expense of one, or both, of your careers while you don't know if it's a long term thing. Maybe she needs to be certain that it's for keeps, the whole works, before she would want it to become public.
Scarecrow – You think that could be it?
Dorothy – Sure. If I were her that's how I'd feel. I'd want to be sure that for both of you it wasn't just infatuation or worse, just a desire for what's not allowed, before I'd want to make it public and suffer the consequences.
Scarecrow – Assuming you're right, what's the alternative?
Dorothy – Maybe it's not simply all or nothing? Maybe there's something in-between?
Scarecrow – Maybe but will she think that there's a grey area? Will she think it's worth the risk?
Dorothy – I honestly don't know what she would think. But I'll tell you this. Based on everything you've told me about your circumstances and how you feel about her, if I were her, it would be worth the risk to find out if you were her road to true happiness.
Scarecrow – I'd really like to believe you're right.
Dorothy – Just sleep on what I said ok?
Scarecrow – OK. Thanks. Chat tomorrow at 10?
Dorothy – Yep. Goodnight Scarecrow.
Scarecrow – Goodnight Dorothy.