Part 2

Harper opened his eyes, knowing he had hardly slept, having woken up at regular intervals already; the earlier discussion was playing on his mind. Silently he moved the covers aside and stood up, before proceeding to put on his pants and boots, needing to work out his scrambled thoughts and memories that taunted him. He checked that the others were still asleep, and then he walked through the darkened shelter, heading towards the heater to ensure it was still pumping out the heat, offering a needed distraction as he absently checked the controls.

When he was satisfied the heater was working correctly, he stood up and listened to the weather outside. With interest he headed to the opening and glanced outside, seeing the wind still howling but the rain had stopped. Stepping outside, he clutched his arms around himself to stay warm, as he ventured a few more metres into the surrounding area.

Harper grimaced with the cold, only wearing a thin top having left his coat in the shelter, but he wasn't bothered, finding the wind refreshing and just what he needed to clear his head. If anything, this was helping him remember and search the feelings he had earlier evoked by talking of his past, of his lost childhood in his friends eyes. The wind was gusting, reminding Harper of the sometimes harsh weather he experienced on Earth, and he found a fallen tree to sit on. Like so many times in his past, Harper huddled up, knowing the best way to keep warm in situations like this, and he let his head rest against his drawn up knees.

He couldn't figure out what was bothering him, was it his past, or the fact he shared something of his past with his friends? Was it their reactions, or his own, that had caused this unrest deep inside of him? Harper wasn't sure of the answer, but he knew he felt like crap, and that he wanted to hit out at something, to disappear, he wanted to do something irresponsible but he wasn't sure why, or what it would achieve.

The wind was helping, the cold bite and the strength of it was making him feel as though he wasn't safe. He suddenly needed to feel the uncertainty of the wind around him, he didn't want to feel safe, a need now to remember what it felt like to live in fear like when he was younger, to not be able to feel safe all of the time. Harper saw a light flicker in the shelter and knew someone else had awoken, and immediately Harper sprung to his feet, not wanting to be seen or having to explain, Harper dashed further into the woods, not prepared to explain himself just yet.

"Harper?" Beka called out but already she knew he wasn't in the shelter, and she held his coat with annoyance. "Damn his stupid love of stupid planets and their stupid weather."

She sat down by the heater, and ran a hand through her hair, before becoming aware that she was not alone, for a moment she hoped it was Harper, but instead she saw Dylan joining her. "Couldn't sleep?"

"No," Beka sighed. "Harper's gone walkabout," she added.

"I know," Dylan answered.

"You know?" Beka checked.

"I saw him get up, he wasn't sleeping very well," Dylan stated.

"He's left the shelter, Dylan, why didn't you stop him?" Beka demanded.

Dylan looked at Beka calmly. "What would that have achieved?" he asked softly. "He needed some space; our talk earlier has affected him."

"Needed some space?" Beka checked. "There's plenty of space in here, but he's gone outside, Dylan, don't you hear that wind?"

"Beka," Dylan returned. "Harper can look after himself."

"Don't be so sure," Beka returned, as she stared at the heater. "I could tell you a lot of things to prove otherwise."

"And I bet they all happened in space," Dylan pointed out. "On strange drifts, and with non-humans," he added.

"Your point?" Beka asked with annoyance.

"This is his territory," Dylan answered. "So let him be."

"Dylan, I've lived in space all my life but I still get caught out," Beka responded. "Just because Harper tells us some story of when he was a kid, giving us just a small snapshot into his past, doesn't mean he knows what he's doing wandering out into a freaking storm on some planet he doesn't know."

"Harper's not stupid," Dylan countered.

"You're not going to go and find him, are you?" Beka stated with resignation, and Dylan shook his head in reply. "Why the hell not?"

"It would be a waste of time, he'd be one step ahead of me all the way," Dylan answered.

"Are you seriously saying that Harper would be able to evade you?" Beka asked incredulously. "Come on, high guard trained super guy, you'd easily catch Harper if you tried."

Dylan just looked at Beka for a moment. "Maybe I could, but Harper has something I don't."

"What's that?" Beka asked with interest.

"The madness to go out in that weather," Dylan smirked.

"Dylan!" Beka snapped, though she soon smiled. "You're really not concerned are you?" she checked.

"Beka, give Harper a break and some credit," Dylan simply stated. "I was keeping an eye on him as we walked here earlier from the Maru; he knows what he's doing in this terrain, he hardly put a foot wrong when we hit the trickier spots of the forest."

"I'm just worried," she sighed heavily. "Mostly because of the fact he rarely talks in any depth about his past, and last night, I've never heard him speak like that and I don't think he ever wanted us to hear him speak like that," Beka spoke more softly now. "But I don't want him thinking that he can't talk to us about this stuff, I mean he must want to talk about it sometimes, but that's the first time there hasn't been some snappy reason for telling us something, to remind us of his past."

"He clearly is still affected by it," Dylan agreed, remembering hearing Harper sneaking off that morning.

"He's never stopped being affected by it, he just chooses to bottle it all up and pretend it never happened," Beka said with an air of frustration.

"Do you seriously blame him?" Dylan now asked. "We can't relate to any of what he said earlier, it's like some horror story," he added.

"It's Harper's life," Beka stated curtly.

Dylan simply nodded his head, and then checked the time. "Seeing as I'm up, I'm going to make a start on packing things up ready to move out."

Beka moved back to the door, hearing the gusts of wind and desperately wanting to leave the shelter to go in search of Harper, but Dylan was right, she wouldn't last five minutes and if Harper didn't want to be found, she would not have a chance of finding him, that much she did know.

With a resigned sigh, Beka simply returned to the bunks to pack hers and Harper's stuff, hoping he would return soon.

TBC