Hiding Under the Ninth Earth
Book 03 : Epithalamium

Part III : The Beginning of Forever
Chapter Forty Eight : A Decision is Made?

Tuesday 4 November 2003 HST Continued

As the morning's heat invaded the house, he'd first opened all the windows to the cooler breeze before showering and stealing some clothes out of Harry's side of the closet. Although they were almost of a height, Harry's broader shoulders meant the butter-soft shirt (missing three centre buttons) bagged loosely as did the shorts slung low on his more slender hips. But they were clean and certainly cooler than the heavy teaching robes he'd worn on his arrival and the one change of jeans and shirt he'd thought to bring with him.

Not bothering to button those remaining, he rolled the sleeves up his forearms as he foraged in their lone narrow bookcase. His brooding long done, he reviewed the dearth of reading material available to while the time. History, or history, or history seemed to be his primary choices unless one counted the three cheesy romance novels Poppy had left behind, which he didn't. He was about to surrender to history when he spotted a wire-bound Muggle tourist guide for the island of Maui. Thumbing through the well-worn pages, he decided it might be useful. So with shabby book in hand, he relocated to the sofa and was halfway down the tortuous road to Hana from Lahaina (via the sunrise at Haleakala National Park) when a shadow crossed the page and a weary voice asked, "Mind if I join you?"

With a neutral glance at the sober face, Severus carefully marked his place with a sales receipt he'd found in the back, setting it on the floor next to him. Making room on the deep seat, he scooted his arse tight to its back, saying dryly, "Only if you promise not to steal these pillows as well."

Counting it a small victory when Harry smiled, he patiently waited as his mate settled, his head comfortably resting in the crook of his shoulder. Holding Harry with no eye for time was always something to savour, so he cleared his thoughts and worries, relishing the warm weight of the loved body against him. By slow degrees Harry relaxed, his infrequent sighs changing from anxiety to contentment.

A dream or two later, Harry cleared his throat, breaking the sleepy silence. "I suppose we should discuss it."

"I'm not in any particular hurry," he said, blinking awake. "However, if you're ready to talk, so am I."

"I wouldn't say I'm ready, but I'm as near as never mind. What is it you want to know?"

What did he want? Given the situation they faced, the loose body snuggled tight to him, the lingering stupor of the late morning's heat, not to mention the peace he'd found in this house, there were many things he wanted, a couple he might even prefer, but unfortunately only one for which he had the time. "I need to know..." Where to begin? "What you want. How you think this whole - decision - fits into your life..." he faltered "...our life..." he stumbled "...our future?"

He felt Harry smile against his chest. "Don't ask for much do you? Can you even say you know what you want?"

"Other than you?" With only the one certainty, he ruefully shook his head. "It pains me to admit I don't know."

"Didn't think so. I can see why you're undecided, though. So am I."

"About me," Severus teased, "or about the situation?"

The silent chuckle jiggled his belly. "You're impossible." Harry shifted to lie on his back and stared up at the ceiling, his smile fading. "It's all about choices, isn't it? On one hand I want this for you, assuming you do, too; you'd be a good headmaster."

Severus' denigrating chuff stirred the hair on top of Harry's head. "Hardly."

Green eyes tracked back to his, holding them captive. "Albus is right, you know," Harry said with some impatience. "You do needlessly discount your value - it's quite maddening at times and always unjustified. With all the talents and skills you possess, you'd make an outstanding anything you choose to be. And it doesn't much matter what it is - I'd be proud of you whether you remained a persnickety Potions master, or retired as a Hana eccentric, or assumed the role of a humble headmaster." Harry's eyes crinkled. "Though I'm not quite certain you can do anything humbly."

He couldn't clearly define the unfamiliar sensations surging through him with Harry's assertions, but could spare no further thought on them as Harry continued, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I will accept whatever you decide. Severus, in all our time together and even before, it's always been about Harry's future, Harry's welfare - seems to me your turn to shine is long overdue."

Harry was wrong; he could do humble, but as much as his lover's unstinting approval filled him with a deep pleasure, its very ambiguity left him strangely bereft.

Yet Harry's eyes - it would be so easy to sink into their loving depths, to take his willing lips, like this, to draw him closer, to accept his comfort, like this, to embrace the eagerness pressing back against him, the strong arms pulling him closer, the long legs holding him fast, like this. "It would be so easy - to stay here - like this." He covered those tantalizing lips again with his own, his tongue invoking the helpless noises his lover couldn't contain as he made love to his mouth. "So easy to want." The hands under his shirt burned him, gliding, clutching, kneading - the fevered skin under his mouth shivered, at first rough, scratchy, then oh so smooth and salty, flushed and alive. "So easy to need." Hardness, pressure, sliding, building, rising, tightening, arching, shuddering, pulsing...

"Oh gods, Severus!"

...so easy to ride the bright flash of pleasure, so easy to gentle two pounding hearts with soft lips and whispered endearments, so easy to relax in the peace that followed.

So easy to love.

So hard to forget.

So hard to say those things he'd never uttered before. So hard to suppress the pride, the independence, the yearning. So hard to beg. "I need you; I need your help. I can't go it alone. Please don't leave me blind as well. Tell me. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you fear. Tell me, please. I need to know it."

Jumbled images and emotions assaulted his inner eye as Harry tried to bring order to chaos. "All right, love. I understand. I suppose the tantrum I had outside should serve some useful purpose, although I'd thought to spare you the gory details."

Fussing with the tail of his shirt, which had rucked up enticingly around his midriff, Harry straightened it out underneath him before shifting himself around with low frustrated growls. While Severus patiently endured his mate's obvious bid for more time, he skated his fingertips in slow, soothing circles on the soft skin of Harry's waist and chest. Closing his eyes with a contented sigh, his body relaxing deeper into the cushions, it wasn't much later when Harry began softly, "I have no concerns about me; however, I do have concerns about us."

He hesitated. Some response seemed necessary. "How so?"

"It seems to me that any decision you make about what you're going to do has little to no effect on what I have to do. My course is fairly well set for quite a while: I have to learn how to control this damned magic of mine and continue my practice as a healer. Assuming we can successfully separate our mutual careers as well as we've done so far, this shouldn't be any more bother than it ever is."

For a moment he concentrated on the silky skin gliding under the pads of his fingers before replying, "As headmaster, our time together would be even more limited than it is now. Instead of just the Slytherins, I would have to deal with all the houses."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Hmmm. Perhaps you need to stop thinking as a head of house and more like a headmaster. I should think delegation works wonders; why else would there be four others to help with the load? Frankly, I think this was one of Albus' biggest mistakes. He couldn't help but meddle and didn't allow others to just do their jobs; instead he tried to lead every effort while maintaining his own position, which is rather like an orchestra maestro trying to conduct a symphony while playing first violin."

"Hmmm. And tone deaf as well," he murmured.

"Besides, if you took the position, it could give us a goal to work towards together."

"Oh? You have something against Minerva, too?"

Amusement tinged his voice. "I'm thinking that, with your mastery of the Orrery and my peculiar talents, combined with some experimentation, we could make one of the doors on the ramp connect directly here. I mean if Albus can have you magically in two places at once, why couldn't we do it, too?"

Amazing. He'd never thought of using the Orrery in such a manner, but he'd wager Harry was right. "Interesting notion and certainly tempting."

Looser, more confident, Harry lifted his face up, nibbling on Severus' jaw. "Tell, me. If Minerva gets the new quarters, does that mean we get our old ones back?"

Severus pulled his head back in surprise. "I don't know. I assume we would get something - hadn't got that far." He shifted the pillow better under his elbow and head; it was getting uncomfortably flat. "And if I choose to retire and move out here?"

Harry shrugged. "The location's not much of an obstacle. First off, I can't see either of us moving away from Albus; we both will want to stay close to him until he dies. I can also see us staying a bit longer to help Poppy, assuming she survives him, which I somehow think she won't." Severus nodded in acknowledgement. "And afterwards? I can still train in England if it's necessary. Are we not wizards? Are there not Portkeys?" he asked, framing the air with his hands. With an impish smile, he added, "But if you do, I will expect you to at least learn how to cook. It's beyond me how someone who can brew such perfect fame and glory can't make a decent stew."

"I hate to cook."

"Well, I hate being on call, but we both have to live with these little inconveniences."

"Fair enough, although I hope you like a limited menu," he grumbled good-naturedly.

He shivered as Harry reached up and licked his ear and again when he whispered huskily, "I suspect I can consume just about anything you have to offer."

"Ah, so 'snacks' will be considered à la carte?" Control, control, control...

"Absolutely," Harry murmured as he continued down from his ear to his neck, the light nibbles stippling his skin. "Damn, didn't we just do this? I feel like I haven't had you in months."

"Maybe it's partly the house, most definitely our bond; we've only been married nine days."

Harry pulled his head back to the pillow. "Really? Seems longer than that." He couldn't contain the snort of laughter when Harry counted them on his fingers. "Yep. Nine days it is." He eyed Severus' throat. "Distracting, though." He folded his hands on his waist. "I vote we finish this so we can play when we're done." Waggling his brows, he quipped, "Don't want to 'eat and run', so to speak."

No one of his acquaintance could help smiling at a Harry grin; he was no exception. Concentrate. He tried to remember where he'd left off. Ah, yes - retirement. "I suppose the decision to retire will depend on how insufferable Minerva acts as headmistress, although it will be interesting to see if she actually carries out Dumbledore's instructions, or decides to go with her own 'conscience'." Better, much better, although licking the devilish smirk off of Potter's mouth still held a wicked appeal. "They rarely agree, you know."

Harry replied, "Didn't have much cause to know that, but doesn't surprise me much - Minerva doesn't agree with many folks."

At Severus', "Hmph," Harry added, "And that takes me back to the other concern I had."

"What concern is that?" Severus asked seriously, catching the new tenor of Harry's thoughts.

Harry was silent for several long moments. "Pardon my bluntness, but I have no idea how to say this - diplomatically."

"And I'm the prince of tact?"

Chuckling, Harry replied, "Good point." He took a deep breath. "All right - I'm afraid that being headmaster could change you, change our relationship and I happen to love every inch of you, just the way you are. Oh, I know we'll change as we age, it is sort of inevitable, but I'd always thought we'd do it together, each pacing the other. But a lifetime commitment as headmaster? It might put you a step out of synch with me right from the beginning, before we've even found our stride."

Sceptical, he replied, "I think you've been hanging about Poppy too much."

"Well, her husband did tell me to trust my instincts, so hold on; what I've been thinking just 'feels' right, though."

"That's such a Gryffindor thing to say."

He briefly wondered what Harry would do if he were to suddenly suck in that tongue so cheekily presented to him? But not for long; Harry's face was too earnest afterwards to cheapen it with his irreverent amusement.

Slowly, Harry opined, "I think the castle profoundly changed Albus. I think he was seduced by the very power he maintained. This didn't necessarily make him weak or evil, but it did make him vulnerable. Poppy has as much said so. And then there's the red hair."

"Red hair?"

"Yeah. Have you ever met a redhead as calm as Albus? Because I haven't. Take the Weasleys; they may be fun-loving and the nicest people on the planet, but ho - do they have tempers?"

"I wouldn't know. Arthur seems fairly unruffled to me, though."

"Ah, yes, but you've never seen him glare at a Malfoy, either. It's fairly impressive."

It was hard envisioning Arthur glaring at anyone, but he would take Harry's word for it.

Harry continued, "I think a good part of Albus' serenity is due to the castle's influence. Now that could be a good thing, but what if you'd fallen in love with 'your' bad-tempered git - all prickly and hot-headed on the outside but all sweet and gooey as a roasted marshmallow on the inside...?"

"I am not," he declared stoutly.

"I wasn't speaking of you," Harry said with a secret smile. Infuriating boy. "I was talking about Albus."

Oops.

"Poppy has said some things over the years that makes me think she misses her fiery redhead, that the changes, while useful to Albus as headmaster, were things she's had to learn to accept. And I'm not sure I want to lose my snarky Potions master."

Snarky? When had he become snarky? He hastily turned his attention back to Harry, who hadn't stopped.

"...not to mention the heavy-handed way Albus makes decisions. Will you use the same methods? Will I be expected to accept them without recourse or explanation as Poppy has done over the years? Because if this is the case, I can see us having some serious - discussions - about it. I won't be another Poppy. I won't silently fume and swallow my opinions."

Poppy had always seemed fairly forthright to him, but who knew what she'd been like before he'd been born, or how she was with her spouse. After all, he couldn't imagine they'd been any more forthcoming in public than he and Harry, especially considering they'd kept their marriage a fairly tight secret for seventy-odd years. He said as much and added, "I wouldn't expect you to swallow anything." He raised a brow at Harry's amused snort, chuckling when he realised what he'd said. "Guttersnipe! You know what I meant."

"Don't you mean 'gutterSnape'?"

It was his turn to contemplate the ceiling. Good gads. "May I continue now?" Harry nodded after pulling his head down for a small nip. Smiling, he continued. "Personally, I see you as an equal partner and, should I accept, I would seek your ideas."

Harry pressed soft lips against his in a chaste kiss. He wanted more, but waited instead; he could sense another shift into utter seriousness. "While I appreciate the sentiment, I'm not certain you can."

Severus raised a brow. He didn't think he'd ever seen Harry's face more resolute than at this moment, not even when they were bound.

"You said the castle is semi-sentient, but I don't believe that's the case at all. I think it's not only fully cognizant of its actions, it hides that fact in the actions of the headmaster. Its actions against me, for example, bore no malice, but they were - purposeful. And it's powerful; at the end, it was very determined. Even Albus couldn't stop it, although I don't know if that was due to his current weakness, or because he really is nothing more than a custodian to a living, breathing castle imbued with the very essence of its founders. An essence, I might add, that seems quite capable of acting alone if need be."

Stunned, Severus could only stare. What if Harry was correct? The thought of anything forcing him to act against his will or better judgement again made his stomach clench.

As if sensing the effect his words had made, Harry touched his cheek lightly. "I could be wrong, you know. Probably am. Albus is a good man, a bit manipulative at times, but so are you; I suspect that's the Slytherin in you both more than anything else." He yawned, snuggling closer. "You want my opinion? Not that I'm biased or anything, but I've always thought Minerva would make a horrible headmistress; she's far too rigid and blind to everything but her own world view. I think the opportunity is fantastic, and I know you want it, know you have so many innovative ideas about the school, how it's run, the traditions it follows. They're good ideas from a good man who would make a good headmaster."

He sighed, his fingers pushing an escaped tendril back behind Severus' ear. "You know what finally made me come back from my walk?" He shook his head. "It was the realization that, despite my fears, despite my worries, nothing can touch us, Severus, if we don't let it. Not where it really matters, as long as we're together." Smoothing more hair off his face, Harry trailed his hand down Severus' cheek and neck to rest on his chest. "Never much had a home except the one I've found with you. I'm thinking that my home, the only one I really need isn't about walls or floors or roofs or ramps or even where those things reside."

Bereft of words, he could only nod and take the sweet kiss Harry offered so trustingly. How had he ever earned it? Lowering his face to his husband, it felt odd having his lips taken in a serious kiss and yet...

"Now do you see why I said I'd support you, regardless of your decision? Sorry, love, it's not about me this time. It's about you and what you want. I'm just along for the ride."

He cleared his throat of the residual fear stuck in it. "And if the horse should buck?"

Harry laughed through another yawn. "I may not be skilled at much, but I'm pretty damned good at picking myself up off the floor and giving it another go."

He kissed him again, a long serious kiss that led nowhere further than the two of them tangling on the sofa, Harry gradually falling asleep. As he studied the dark lashes fanned out on slightly tanned cheeks, he couldn't help but think that Harry was right; he did pick himself up well. Unfortunately, the skill had only been necessary whenever he'd hurt him.

.:0:. .:0:. .:0:. .:0:.

Wednesday 5 November 2003 GMT

Stretching the pain out of his lower back, Severus decided that napping on the sofa had not been one of his brighter ideas, not that he'd had much choice. Moving twelve or so stones of Harry to the bedroom was nigh on impossible without waking him (even with magic) and sleeping alone in the bed (assuming he could have wriggled his way off the couch without injuring himself) even more so. However, the ensuing back 'rub' Harry employed (purely for healing purposes, of course) had contained some wondrous analgesic properties, albeit temporary, and made him realise he'd missed one of the better ways of 'carrying' Harry's twelve or so stones.

It was a matter of a few minutes to clean up the house considering they'd brought almost nothing to it. They regretfully took a look around knowing it would be months before their return, and with heavy hearts, they together spoke the command to activate the Portkey. The transport long and rough, he landed on a hard surface, very disoriented. Once his vision cleared, he understood Harry's low whistle.

They were in the Rotunda.

"Bit presumptuous, wouldn't you say?" Harry remarked drolly.

"Indeed. One would think I'd already made up my mind."

Harry glanced at him sharply. "And have you?"

"Almost, but not in a way that would earn me this privilege."

His eyes understanding, Harry nodded. "A bribe then?"

"Possible, I suppose. Not that it would sway me." He looked up and around then set off for their bedroom, ignoring the fish tank in the middle. "Beats walking from outside the castle's wards, though." He glanced at the clock as they walked into the main chamber. "I hate the time difference. It's already 6:30 am; we need to get ready."

While Harry showered, he undressed, hastily donning his dressing gown against the chill. After raising the fire, he walked across the room to the wardrobe and, resigned to long habit, began choosing his clothes for a day of teaching. As he pulled out the heavy outer robe, a glint in the back caught his eye. Gently moving the remainder of the clothes aside, he stared at Salazar's gleaming robes. Fingering the gem encrusted cuff, he realised that, if he accepted, he would not only have give these up, but find someone to fill them.

"Would it have to be someone as tall?" Harry asked behind him.

Heart pounding, he replaced back in his sleeve the wand he'd drawn reflexively. Turning to face him, he cooly replied, "Not necessarily. The robes fit to the person when worn."

Diffidently, Harry asked, "May I see them?"

Reluctantly he acquiesced, whispering a releasing spell as he pulled them to the fore of the wardrobe, hanging them in front of his other clothes. He shivered when Harry ran his hand down the sleeve stopping short of the wide, deep cuff, his skin stippling as if the fingertips trailing the heavy silk of the under robe were touching him instead. "Beautiful," Harry breathed, his eyes wide and shining. He stepped away, his hands behind his back as Severus returned them to their protected place in the rear of the wardrobe.

Closing the door firmly, he rasped, "I'll be getting ready now," but had no more turned when Harry's hand on his arm stopped him. Moving behind him, his spouse slid his arms around his waist, resting his cheek on his shoulder. It was comforting, something he'd not known he needed, but gratefully accepted as he laid a hand across Harry's, the other carrying his robes.

"It will be all right, love. You'll see," Harry said, kissing his neck from behind. The arms released him as slowly as they'd taken him and, without looking back, he fled to the bathroom.

Punishing, the hard, brutal spray of the scalding shower began to alleviate an inexplicable anger filling him; why he needed it and what he was trying to scour he didn't know, but when finished, he felt calmer - clean and whole again. As he worked into the long strands of his hair the potion he favoured to keep it from falling inadvertently into his brews, he chuckled derisively, calling himself three times a fool for his sudden bad temper. Harry had understood, and had told him so in his own quiet fashion, just as he realised his lover had not been speaking of the beauty of Salazar's robes, but rather had somehow touched the memory of him in them.

Harry was sitting cross-legged in the window seat, staring out at the sunrise when he finally came out of the bathroom. He slid an arm around his husband's shoulders and watched with him, the breaking light thin with the coming of winter. He kissed Harry on top of his head, murmuring, "I've often wondered which god's arse I inadvertently kissed to be deemed worthy of your attention."

Smiling, Harry asked, "Which god controls serendipitous chance that a man such as yourself could see past a frightened child to love the man he would become?" He lifted his head and kissed him. "No, don't answer. You've already said it. Against all odds, we've struck a balance." The next kiss was long and sweet, cleansing and fulfilling. "Semper te amabo," Harry whispered, swinging around to face him. "I'll always be yours."

He held him for a long time; the body wrapped around his gifted him that balance Harry so blithely spoke of, an inner peace he rarely achieved. He didn't want to lose this, lose Harry. There was nothing - no want, no desire - which could ever supersede his overwhelming need for the man held close to him. And with that knowledge, that final admission within himself, the decision was simple and so easy to make.

Harry pulled away, his eyes questioning. "Are you certain?" he asked quietly.

"Absolutely."

He held back all but his smile; Harry was so predictable in so many things sometimes. Like that dog with its bone, he pressed the issue. "But is that what you want?"

"What I want is you. Plain and simple. I'll not risk us for anything."

Nodding, Harry lifted his face to him, his eyes closing, but not before Severus saw a lingering pain he couldn't describe. The kiss was almost desperate, a questing more than anything else, but loving and accepting nonetheless. With a sigh they regretfully parted when the clock on the mantel chimed urgently, telling them to hurry or they'd be late.

With no further comment needed, they left to go to breakfast and the start of the new day.

.:0:. .:0:. .:0:. .:0:.

Harry found it tiresome that, once again, he was hurrying to lunch after spending most of his morning twiddling his thumbs waiting for a patient who'd finally arrived hours late for her appointment. He didn't know which had been more annoying - having wasted his time, or spending far too much of it brooding on the unbelievable events at breakfast.

Severus had been more than attentive; he'd been almost painfully public. Unmindful of the open stares, he'd taken his hand in the corridors on their way to the Great Hall. His hand had burned through his robes where it rested in the small of his back as he'd seated him at the head table before taking his own. After pouring him tea and adding his milk and sugar, he'd served him toast - with Marmite - for Merlin's sake! And of course, with Albus chatting a mile a minute, there'd been no time to ask.

Then that kiss in the staff room, sans the guilty flicker over his shoulder, sufficiently startled him into making a comment. The ensuing sweet smile had been unusual in itself, but that his question was answered with another searing kiss floored him. Bemused, he'd wordlessly watched his spouse swirl out the room, wondering if, in reality, he was still in bed dreaming.

What the hell was happening? It was as if someone had dropped him into an alternate universe. Severus smiling in public and Albus cranky in private. Oh, the old man had checked out in much better shape than he deserved, Harry had seen to that before he'd left for his morning appointment, but there'd been a sharp edge to Albus' flat attempts at humour. Poor sod - this waiting must be torture for him. Might be good for the old bugger at that.

Lost in his fruitless ruminations, he rounded a corner at a determined clip, barreling into another body moving equally fast from the other direction. Who it was didn't register until the arms initially raised to steady them both, slid around his waist to embrace him briefly, before partially releasing him. The low, amused chuckle rippled through him quite pleasantly as a familiar dulcet baritone asked him, "Going my way?"

In a split second of decision, Harry replied coyly, "Perhaps. Have you seen my Potions master? I seem to have misplaced him sometime around breakfast."

He almost lost his nerve when glittering eyes gazed hungrily into his as Severus said silkily, "Oh, him? The greasy git? I think I left him in the dungeons somewhere."

It was the other Severus, the one he didn't know. Experimentally, he touched Severus' cheek and almost panicked - this was not his husband, even the bond felt wrong, twisted, with the same surreality one would experience if the sky suddenly turned green. And Severus obviously wasn't reading his reaction right either if the mouth descending to his was any indication of his apparent blindness to Harry's strong emotions.

Sliding his arms around Severus' neck, he let him take the kiss. Even the feel of his lips was wrong as if he were being kissed by a total stranger. Severus deepened it; under normal circumstances he'd be a puddle of goo about now, so, to buy him some time, he groaned and pressed close, hoping Severus wouldn't notice that he was in no way aroused.

He didn't.

Harry had to think quickly, he didn't know how long he could fool him. Imperius? He couldn't remember if Severus could break it, but realised his Legilimency skills must make it nearly impossible to cast one successfully or else Voldemort could have controlled him early on. So it had to be subtle. A compulsion? No, again for the same reasons. Something new, something insidious since Severus didn't seem to be aware of anything amiss.

Something he had to stop - now.

Acting on an instinct, he drew his wand out of his sleeve behind Severus' head. Gathering his courage and magic and body together, in one fluid movement he sharply wrenched himself out of Severus' arms while shouting a binding spell. The 'something' fought him a second before the spell took hold, a moment when Harry switched from fear to white hot anger.

It was the castle doing it.

Breathing hard, he raged, "What the hell did you do with my husband?"

"What the - what are you raving about, Harry?"

He had to steady Severus as he struggled against the binding, but it held as he'd known it would; he'd placed quite a bit of righteously brassed-off Harry behind it. Severus glared daggers at him, sputtering as he futilely cast wandless spells trying to break free. Then he stood stock still, his head tilted as if listening to something far away. His face fell. "Oh gods, Harry, I..." He dropped his head and went loose against the binding.

"Severus?" Was this his Severus? He stepped closer, cupping Severus' cheeks with both hands, lifting the loved face to him, his heart soaring as he could feel them, feel their bond again as if nothing had happened. With heartfelt relief, he leaned his forehead against that of his husband's as he murmured the counterspell to release him. They stood still for a few moments, Severus hesitantly taking his hand, as ever mindful of their public location, yet needing the contact as much as Harry did himself at the moment. He could feel Severus' pulse racing, pounding where their hands twined.

"When did it start?" he asked, trying to calm them both. Oh Merlin, what if - all those wonderful words Severus had uttered before they'd left this morning - were they an illusion, too? His stomach burned.

"Am I so easily overcome...?"

"Damn it, Severus! It's over! Listen to me! When. Did. It. Start?"

His eyes glazed with thought, Harry could almost see him running through his memory. Finally, after some moments, he replied, "I think it made an unsuccessful attempt during my shower, but I would have to say it started in the corridor on our way to breakfast. It's hard to recall. Gads, I was even nice to my students this morning."

Harry hung in his head in a relief so profound he was almost sick. "Thank the gods," he whispered, "I don't know if I could have borne it had your words..."

A hand, his Severus' hand, tipped his face up to meet his steady gaze. "No, what I said before we left our apartments were my words. And I meant every one of them." Severus took a step back. "Damn it! I wavered only for an instant, but I know now how it feels. It won't happen again." A deep anger settled in his eyes. "I will not be controlled like this, nor manipulated into a different decision."

"You weren't its final goal, Severus," he whispered in abject misery. "It was trying to convince me, trying to placate me with something I only thought I'd wanted." Dropping his eyes, he couldn't meet the understanding gaze any longer. "I know better now. And I understand more. It's really trying to satisfy both of us."

"In an underhanded way, I suppose so."

"In the only way it knows how." Harry kissed him briefly, glad of Severus' reserve when his eyes glanced down the corridor as he pulled away.

"Harry, what if it tries something else?"

While the words were spoken with an authoritative calmness, the grip on his hand tightened, an almost unnatural worry coming through clearly. This shaken confidence was a side to Severus he'd never seen before and never wanted to again.

Perhaps he could help? Smiling in an effort to cheer, he said lightly, "I guess it's my turn this time."

Brow raised, Severus asked, "Your turn for what?"

"This," he said, closing his eyes, pushing gently on their bond, something he'd never tried before, rippling it, moving it to surround Severus, gently urging it to enfold him, protect him. He could feel it starting from a tingling in Severus' chest, radiating outward, as their bond - and Harry - warded him. It continued growing until it encompassed them both, providing an invisible barrier of protection. When it joined full circle in him, he slowly released it, now an almost living thing within them.

"Do you feel it? Feel us?" Harry whispered, "Like a shield?"

Bemused, Severus replied, "Yes."

It sang around them, carrying within it a piece of each of them to protect the other. "I'm sorry, I don't know how long this will hold, but hopefully, with some vigilance, it will last at least til this evening."

"Constant vigilance," Severus murmured with a snort, then sobering, whispered, "Thank you, love. I think it will be more than..."

Harry knew he would have said more, but with the sound of slapping boots on the stone floor coming towards them, Severus hastily dropped his hand, placing more air between them.

A wayward Ravenclaw's detention later they made their way to their late lunch, each lost in their thoughts, yet heartened by the feel of the other inside.

.:0:. .:0:. .:0:. .:0:.

TBC