Chapter Thirteen: Convergence

No one moves. I take a steadying breath before responding.

"Hello, Rji." I give a slight bow in response. "I have someone for you."

I turn and grab Diya, shoving him rather unceremoniously across the sand to Rji's feet. She ignores him, but two of her students move to help him.

"I would have thought you'd have put them on a plane to Chile." She motions with her chin towards Pao and Ben. Pao sneers and is about to speak, but I cut her off.

"What is between you and I, Rji, has nothing to do with them."

I step forward, away from the others. Anger flares in Rji's eyes. "What was between you and I had nothing to do with my brother!"

I cast my eyes to the ground. "I know. I know you don't believe me, but I regret what I have done." I pluck up courage from somewhere and meet her eye again. "I regret it more than you can imagine."

Thousands of years of hate for me make Rji's eyes terrifying. She draws her sword and makes a hostile gesture towards me, although she doesn't approach. "Regret! Don't speak to me of regret! You speak nothing but lies!"

I nod slowly. "Which is why I'll waste no more words on you." I kneel, then bend over my knees, exposing the back of my neck to her.

I don't need to see her to know how confused and disbelieving she is. "This is a trick," she says.

My heart pounds in my ears as I grip the sand. A long moment passes, where Pao is the only one who is more agitated than Rji. Finally, Rji turns to one of her students and speaks to him in Chinese. I can practically hear the expression on Pao's face. Rji's student approaches me, cautiously at first, but when he comes in range of my hands he gains a bit more confidence. He sheaths his sword, then grabs my upper arms and pulls me up to face Rji, pinning my arms very efficiently behind my back.

I can feel the tension mounting behind me, but I can't see any of my companions so can only guess who is exchanging glances with who. Rji approaches, searching my eyes irately. She suddenly lifts her sword point to my neck, testing me to see what I'll do.

"What's the meaning of this?" she demands.

I'm having difficulty breathing because of how my arms are restrained. "A life for a life. I repay my debt to you."

Frank makes a noise behind me, having just realized what I really came here to do. Lucia probably figured it out already. Rji doesn't buy it. "This won't save your children's lives."

I shake my head, although it's rather hard to do. "This isn't for them. It's for Lien."

Anger renews the blaze in her eyes and she lowers her sword and strikes me in the face. "Don't you dare say his name!" Behind me Pao nearly draws her gun, but Frank restrains her.

I meet her eye again, ignoring the taste of blood in my mouth. "If all I wanted was to protect them, we would have disappeared. I have before, you know I have. You're the last person alive who has a claim on my life. Take it now. Avenge your brother." Memories start to intrude again and I stop.

Superimposed on Rji's image is Lien's, fighting me in the firelight. I see his eyes as I killed him, I hear Rji's shout of rage. She's surpassed her potential now, and the years lie heavily on her, as does the pain of her lost brother. Reeling and confused from a new flash of memories, I feel myself start to cry. I struggle to concentrate on the present, which succeeds in getting myself to stop crying, but doesn't stop the flow of memories. Faces of the people I've killed. The feel of a knife or a sword or a stick or a rope as I take another life. The rush and satisfaction I feel when they die makes me ill. My hand moves of its own volition to protect my stomach, but I can't move my hand. I let my knees buckle, and the pain in my arms and shoulders brings me back to the present.

Rji is watching me closely, as if trying to determine if I'm acting or not. "This is a trick," she repeats, but with less conviction.

"For Lien," I say, and another intrusive memory assaults me. Marcus holds a knife to my throat. "For all of them. It is just." I don't realize until a moment later that I was speaking in Latin. But Rji spent time in the Empire, and although it's possible she's forgotten it, she seems to understand.

With a nod from Rji, her student lets me go and I fall to the sand again. She watches me for a moment, and again I hunch over my knees and expose the back of my neck. In a sudden movement, she descends on me, and I hear her sword whistle through the air. Pao shouts something, and Frank starts struggling with her. Lucia moves towards them both, but it all seems very far away. Then I feel Rji's sword strike my neck, but she stops it. Blood trickles around my throat and drips onto the sand, and I'm pretty sure she's chipped one of my vertebrae, but the cut isn't very deep and is mostly along the back and side of my neck.

I wince as she pulls the blade away. Pao, Frank, and Lucia are all frozen again, watching. I sit up to look at Rji. Rji ignores them and stares down at me, a thoughtful look on her face. A wave of disappointment and renewed guilt mingle with relief.

Rji opens her mouth to speak, when all of us, except of course for Frank, Pao, and Ben, feel someone else approaching. I curse aloud before I can stop myself and stand up, knowing who it must be. We all turn to face the newcomer.

Tiresias approaches us, alone, no sword drawn. All of the younger ones look confused, but Rji and I are less than thrilled for completely different reasons.

"You!" Rji says, turning her back on me. "What are you doing here?"

Tiresias smiles and sweeps his hand to indicate all of us. "I've come for the show, of course. A gathering like this is indeed a rarity. Or have you all simply forgotten the rules?"

Rji looks angry and embarrassed, but defiant. "State your business here, jackass."

Tiresias laughs gently, stopping to survey us all. "So many interesting faces here today. My, my. Do you know our Aiar, Rji? Or is this just a coincidence?"

She distinctly doesn't want to play this game, but with their history she's helpless to stop herself. "What do you want, Ray?"

He approaches me sedately, ignoring how Rji bristles as he passes her. "I remember when I first saw you, little Aiar." He circles me, uncomfortably close, probably to emphasize his height. "Anyone would have thought you enjoyed being a slave. Or was that all an act?"

I have no intention of gratifying him with shame or embarrassment, and in fact I feel neither. "I never thanked you properly for freeing me," I say, laying on the sarcasm rather thickly. "Tell me, do you always betray your hosts' trusts, or was there some reason you felt Marcus deserved to have his student kill him?"

Tiresias laughs. "Rji, darling. You might be more careful of this one, those around her tend to end up dead, especially when they start out by attacking her."

"Shut up, Tiresias," Rji spits.

"Oh, but you must know that, already. Your dear departed brother met our Aiar, and look where it got him. But I'll wager she only killed him to get to you, didn't she?"

"Shut up, Tiresias!" Rji says again.

"It's true," I say softly, looking at Rji. She ought to know the full truth before she declines taking my head. "I wanted you to hate me. I wanted you to come after me. I wanted a worthy opponent, and vengeance is a good forger of enemies." My voice cracks and I stop so I can keep myself from crying.

Rji looks at me, but the anger in her eyes is only an echo. I realize she thinks I'm working some plan against Tiresias now. "And just how did you figure that, Ray?" she asks, glancing between him and me. "Please, dazzle us with the ingenuity of your sources. I know how you love to toot your own horn."

"And what about you, Rji? Hunting after two poor, innocent mortals." He stops his circling a moment to look at Pao and Ben. He shakes his head and clicks his tongue reprovingly. "What would Lien say?"

Rji jerks towards him, but then stops herself. "Lien would say to shut the hell up, Tiresias!"

"Aiar, surely you had a better plan for tonight than this." He resumes his circling. "Bringing your precious children into such danger! Did you really think you could protect them just by letting Rji take a few shots at you?" He touches the cut on the back of my neck, which is still bleeding freely.

But I don't flinch and I don't rise to the bait. "What's your plan for tonight? Did you really think you could just walk into a conflagration of nine immortals and trust to your forked and silvered tongue to get you back out again? Some of them are young enough to buy it, but it's more than Rji and me here tonight."

Tiresias laughs, but I can see nerves being suppressed. "Oh my, little Aiar, what big ideas you have! Or is that tattoos? Where did they go? Or are you ashamed?"

"What do you want?" I say, echoing Rji.

He ignores me and turns to Rji again. "And-"

"What do you want, Tiresias?" she says, less patiently than I did.

He stops walking and looks back and forth between Rji and me several times and then laughs. "You are both such fools!" He begins pacing again. "Aiar, you can't protect your children, you must know that. And Rji, surely you realize that-" He falls to the ground, choking, due to the fact that his windpipe nearly just collapsed due to my hand meeting his throat with a good deal of force. Most of those assembled jump at my quick movement, but one of Rji's students laughs.

I turn to Rji. "He's your enemy, what do you suggest?"

Rji doesn't take her eyes of him. "I'd cut his tongue out if it wouldn't grow back." She turns to the student that laughed. "What was that about?"

The student is still trying to suppress laughter. "It was just… sorry, he just looked so funny."

Rji motions for him to help her, and the two of them pick up Tiresias. Rji draws a dagger. But I'm not in the mood to wait all night while she works on one vendetta before finishing ours. "That's not necessary," I say to her, and grab Tiresias' chin so I can see all of his face. He's catching his breath and starts to struggle, but two more of Rji's students join in to restrain him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask in my interrogation voice.

His thoughts cast about wildly for a good lie, but I shake him to bring his attention back to me.

"What are you doing here?"

Again he starts inventing a lie, but he starts from the truth.

"Why did you want to watch Rji kill me?"

Nothing but surprise.

"Why?" I say, more insistently.

So this was all about Rji, although I was a bit more than a pawn.

"Say it out loud," I say, letting him know with my expression that I know.

He looks frightened and uncertain, although he's covering it well. Rji looks between us, realizing what I'm doing.

"Say it!" I squeeze his jaw menacingly.

"I… I wanted Rji to know why you really-"

"The truth! Tell Rji why killing me would be fitting punishment for her!"

"I wanted you to kill Aiar, and then to tell you that letting her live would have been worse punishment! That you let her off easy!" He squirms, trying to get his jaw away from my hand. I hold him for a moment before relinquishing him.

Rji looks between Tiresias and me. She still hadn't decided if she was going to kill me or not, and now she's even less certain. Tiresias and I could have set this up. Then again, if we didn't, she sure as hell isn't going to do what Tiresias wants her to. Worse, she has no way of knowing what the truth is. And I have no way of helping her.

"Why should I believe either of you?" she finally asks.

I consider what to say for a moment. There's nothing I really can say that couldn't be construed as insincere or manipulative. Then a thought occurs to me. I spoke Rji and Lien's native language, as did a lot of people in those days, but that was well before Tiresias' time.

"What Tiresias said was true. I did kill Lien to make you my enemy. In those days I wanted a challenge, and I thought you were the stronger fighter. Rji, forget Tiresias. He is not involved in this - don't let him involve himself. Do not renounce your claim on my life out of pity. I don't deserve it, and not just because I killed your brother. I've done much worse things than what I did to you and Lien."

She considers me for a long moment. I can feel the pressure of my friends' eyes on me, but can't bring myself to look at any of them. Pao will never ever forgive me for this, regardless of whether I live or die this night. "Do you want to die, Aiar?" she finally asks, still using her native language.

"Yes and no." I consider saying more, but am afraid to. I don't want to persuade her one way or the other, and I definitely don't want to sound like I'm manipulating her.

When Rji sees I'm not going to say anymore, she prompts me again. "Well? Why and why not?"

I give her an appraising look, letting her see my doubt as well. "Either I'll sound like I'm tricking you or I'll be pushing you towards one side. My life is in your hands."

She crosses her arms, looking annoyed. "Humor me."

I take a deep breath, and glance towards Pao and Ben almost involuntarily. "I remember," I say, staring at the sand. "I r-remember everything. Everyone I ever killed. Every bit of enjoyment I felt from their pain and deaths. Their blood. I want out. I want it to be over. But if I die, many of them die again with me, because there are none now left to remember them, and my atonement is left incomplete. You- you're the last left alive with a claim on my life. You're justice's last chance." I shudder again as I fight off an intrusive memory of the walled city and the night I betrayed child's light.

I can't meet Rji's eye. Once again I have the sensation of being too exposed, which again triggers memories of other such situations. I put my hand on the cut on my neck, but I don't need to hurt myself any worse. The sand on my hand stings the wound and the pain is enough to break through the memories. I really have to stop using pain to avoid these memories. Eventually it'll stop working.

One of Rji's students interrupts her thoughts before she decides. Radha speaks in Mandarin, probably thinking no one else present understands. "Rji, this is nonsense. Don't listen to her! We've been planning this for years; you can't throw that all away! What about your brother? Do you really think this truly repents? She's probably Tiresias' friend! They probably planned all this!"

Rji watches Radha thoughtfully, but I guess this is just the last straw for Pao. She tries to draw her gun again, but Frank and Lucia are too quick for her. Struggling against them, she shouts in Chinese at Rji and Radha. "You know nothing you ignorant bitch! You don't know the first thing about her! Filthy, stupid whore!" She probably has worse things to say, but this is too close to getting out of hand.

"Pao! Stop it! She doesn't know me, but you don't know what I've done. Back. Off."

Pao spits in their general direction, but stops trying to get her gun out of its holster. I spare myself a moment to wonder if Lucia speaks Mandarin. Rji looks at Pao appraisingly, then says, "You killed those two smugglers."

"Fuck you!" Pao spits back. "You're as bad as you think my mother is! You wouldn't think twice about killing us, would you?"

Rji looks amused, but I don't want her baiting Pao, because Pao is highly likely to do something stupid. "Rji, leave it alone. Pao," I warn, "stop it." Luckily Rji loses interest in Pao, so Pao acquiesces.

Turning her attention back to me, Rji takes a step closer to me. Amusement flickers across her face and she asks me, "So, what would you do if I set my students on you instead of attacking you myself?"

I snort. "Grandstand." Lucia suppresses a laugh and Rji's students exchange disgruntled looks. Tiresias opens his mouth to say something, but several hostile looks stop him.

"What are you going to do with Tiresias?" I ask in return, switching back to Rji's native language for privacy.

Rji shrugs. "I'm still trying to decide what to do with you. Maybe I should just kill one of your kids and let you stew about it for a while." She seems sincere, but is just testing me. Regardless, I don't find that remotely entertaining.

"Don't," I say, keeping my face, eyes, and voice blank. I don't need to imply a threat. I realize as she watches me that she never intended to kill Pao, but capture and maybe torture her. Or maybe turn her over to those arms smugglers. Until Pao involved him, I don't think Rji even knew about Ben.

Rji finally comes to a decision. She picks up her sword and gestures her students away from Tiresias. Before he can even get to his knees she drives her sword through his sternum. "Just leave him," she says to her students. "Go back, I'll catch up with you." I guess she enjoys her rivalry with Tiresias. He'll be awake again in another few hours.

She waits until they leave to speak to me. "Promise me something," she says, and again I have flashbacks of Marcus. "Never forget Lien."

"I never will."

She sheaths her sword then bows to me, hands pressed in front of her. I bow back. She turns to follow her students, and watching her go, a sudden compulsion makes me whisper under my breath in my own native language, "A blessing on your path and a light on your children."

If she hears me she doesn't show it.

Fighting off tears, I turn back to my friends and children. Christian lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Ben has been crying. Frank looks dumbfounded. Lucia amazed, Pao furious. They all start talking at once, but I just sigh and say, "Come on. Let's go home." I try not to let my disappointment at being alive show. Pao already has reason enough to be mad at me. No reason to add insult to injury. Before I can start walking away, Ben grabs me in a hug. "It's alright, Ben. Come on, your wife must be worried."

Frank keeps staring at me like he's never seen me before. I try to ignore him as a heard them back towards the cars. Lucia glances back at Tiresias a few times. "I think I met him, once," she says to me conversationally.

"I hope you never do again," I say, in no mood for levity.

"Who the hell is he?" Christian asks me, but I can't find the strength to talk about it and simply shrug.

"All I know is he had something to do with a dispute between the Calvinists and the Catholics," Lucia volunteers.

Ben starts crying again and Pao tries to comfort him. He shoos her off but she glares at me for a moment before leaving him alone. Frank starts ripping the bottom of his shirt and I turn to give him a questioning look.

"Your neck," he says, gesturing. He folds the fabric and moves close enough to press it against my cut.

"Forget it, Frank," I say, waving him off feebly. "It'll be gone by the time we get back to Lucia's house. Actually before that if that sniper hasn'tescaped." Frank ignores me and makes me keep pressure on it with my hand.

"I forgot about him!" Christian says.

"He'll be thrilled," I say. I guess I need to figure out who sent him now.

"Pao, what are you going to do?" Frank asks. "Can you even go back to China?"

"Hey," I interject, deciding I might as well put on a good show of normality. "My kids are off limits, Frank."

Pao's retort dies on her lips. I guess she's not speaking to me. Oh well, that'll change sooner than I'd probably like anyway. Frank isn't up to banter, either.

A stop at the offices where we left the sniper confirmed he had indeed escaped, but in all honest I'm relieved. It saves me the trouble of figuring out what to do with him. We head back to Lucia's house after that, but Lucia insists we celebrate almost as soon as we get inside. Scots. Everything's an excuse for alcohol. Ben and Christian declare it a capital idea, but the rest of us aren't convinced. Pao eventually decides partying is a way to thumb her nose at me, and once Pao's on board Frank quickly follows. I agree because it's easier, and pretty soon I'm left alone in the kitchen with Lucia while everyone else runs off to fight over the shower and find clothes. Lucia fishes a beer out of the fridge while I sit pointlessly on one of her bar stools.

"You look awfully disappointed for someone who's just escaped decapitation," Lucia says in Gaelic while I continue staring off into space.

I shrug. "I feel like I've missed my last chance."

"Last chance? At what?"

"A meaningful death."

"Meaningful? What's meaningful about vengeance?"

I shrug again, not wanting to get into this discussion. I have a feeling I'm going to be having it with Pao, and probably Frank given the way he's been acting towards me.

"God! You're a piece of work. I can't believe you made your kids watch that."

"If I had left them somewhere else she would have gone after them instead of me. Even if you had gotten on that plane to Chile." My voice sounds hollow.

She grimaces and I know I'm right. "It was still cruel."

I nod. "Pao's never going to forgive me." I rub my forehead as exhaustion hits me like a ton of bricks.

Lucia doesn't say anything. She's torn between feeling sorry for me and trying to make me feel grateful. I don't want either. I've lost a daughter, and probably a friend, and it would be nice if Lucia didn't join their ranks.

"You should have told me," Lucia says, but there's no reproach in her voice.

I meet her eye finally and give her a wan smile. "You're probably right."

"I thought you were supposed to say, 'but you would have stopped me.'"

I shrug. "I was thinking it."

Lucia laughs, and I can't help but laugh, too. "Come on," she says, returning the conversation to English. "Let's get completely and utterly shitfaced, and you can deal with the fallout tomorrow."

"I'll leave drunk and disorderly to you, Frank, and Pao. Unless you've changed all three of you need your own chaperone. Besides, I don't think I should let the sun go down on either Pao or Frank. They're too important for that."

"Ha! Christian a chaperone. You better hope Ben stays sober, because otherwise we're leaving a car at the party."

I nod, but am not really interested. How in the world am I going to explain this to them?