Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls

"Can you believe that it's December 31st" Paris said.

"I know and Jess isn't here once again" I said sadly.

"We know you miss him" Paris said "we all miss him"

"He promised he'd be home soon" I said.

"Sweets soon could be next year" mom said.

"I can wait one day" I smiled.

"I meant a year from now" mom revised her previous statement.

I nodded "Last year I was on the phone this year I'm at a Stars Hollow festival alone" I said.

"He'll be home soon Rory Jimmy is probably getting sick of him by now" Luke tried.

It was almost 12 I went to the towns square for the party. Taylor was having a Stars Hollow New Years Eve Festival. There were games and a DJ. Lane kept trying to convince him to play something other than old 90's pop. Everyone had someone to dance with. I swear it looked like Noah's Arc even Kirk was dancing with his mother. I was just standing there on the sidelines watching. Suddenly everyone started counting. "60…59…58" On the other side of the party I saw a small figure. I couldn't make out the face but I saw a beat up old duffel bag and a leather jacket. "55…54…53"I tried to see if it was really him not really trusting my eyes. "36…34…33 I ran as fast as I could to the other side of the party. "20...19…18" I was running and he was running too. Suddenly we here a 10 and we speed up. "3...2." I jumped into his arms and kissed him as the crowd yelled "Beep beep beep"

I shot up and saw that I was in my room alone. I grabbed my robe and walked out of my room. Paris was sitting at the kitchen table with Tristan and Luke is making breakfast mom is making coffee.

"Can you believe that it's December 31st" Paris said.

'Whoa déjà vu' I thought 'no this isn't happening well this part might but I'm not waiting around for him anymore no matter what stupid dream I had'

"I know and Jess isn't here once again" I said sadly.

"We know you miss him" Paris said "we all miss him"

"He promised he'd be home soon" I said.

"Sweets soon could be next year" mom said.

"I can wait one day" I smiled.

"I meant a year from now" mom revised her previous statement.

I nodded "Last year I was on the phone this year I'm at a Stars Hollow festival alone" I said.

"He'll be home soon Rory Jimmy is probably getting sick of him by now" Luke tried.

"I'm not waiting anymore" I announced "I'm calling Marty and he will be my date."

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I was going to leave on the 2nd but I had this dream that I went to some thing in Stars Hollow on New Years Eve and I kissed Rory at midnight so I decided to go. I got on a plane and was headed to Stars Hollow for New Years Eve.

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Marty: Hello

Rory: Hey Marty it's Rory

Marty: Hey what's up?

Rory: Nothing I was just wondering if you wanted to come to a little New Years thing in my town with me

Marty: What about that guy you were waiting for

Rory: I'm tired of waiting

Marty: I'll be there

I hung up the phone and went to my room to find something to wear.

"I think you should wear that knee length blue and white dress" mom suggested

"Then she can wear white tights and ruby slippers and sing a song" Paris rolled her eyes.

"Well what do you have in mind oh great one" mom said sarcastically.

"The little black dress it's classic" Paris held up my black spaghetti strap knee length dress.

"I like it" I said "I can wear my white tights with my black fishnets over them and then I'll wear black boots and put a dark red ribbon in my hair."

We had already decided what Paris was going to wear. A mid-calf length lavender dress and knee high black boots.

Mom decided on wearing something that she probably shouldn't. She's wearing a knee length black flowy skirt, one of Luke's flannel shirts, his black sports jacket, jeans under the skirt, and black sneakers.

I had half my hair up in a red ribbon and the rest was curled. Paris had hers in prom style bun. Mom had hers in a pony tail with two strands of hair on either side of her face hanging down.

I had my regular black eye shadow, black eyeliner, and red lipstick. Paris had on her regular pink gloss and nothing else. Mom was wearing no make up at all I really don't know what's wrong with her.

When we walked out of my mom's room where we were all getting ready we went downstairs and found all the guys waiting well except Dave he and Lane were coming over later.

"About time" Luke who was wearing his usual except mom had convinced him to wear a suit jacket complained.

Marty was holding a single white rose he was wearing a suit that was obviously his roommate's.

"Oooo is that for me" mom asked.

"Well actually" mom glared at him "yes it's for you.

Mom took the rose and put it in a vase. Lane and Dave walked in and we all turned around and walked out.

We went to the towns square for the party. Taylor was having a Stars Hollow New Years Eve Festival. There were games and a DJ. Lane kept trying to convince him to play something other than old 90's pop. Marty and I were standing by Miss Patty's punch stand. I had had four cups and Marty had had three.

"Let's dance" I said.

"I'm not very good" he admitted

"Neither am I come on" I grabbed his hand and led him to where everyone was dancing.

We danced very closely. My mom kept elbowing me but I didn't pay attention we just got closer and closer. Suddenly I saw a shadowy figure. As it moved I realized it was a guy. Not just any guy THE GUY. The one I had been regretting ever breaking up with since the day he left. The guy who had stolen my heart. The guy who I had been waiting for, for two years. I pulled his head down just slightly and kissed him. As I felt his eyes on me I felt like I had just cheated on my husband or something. We had been through so much together and I was betraying him. His eyes were burning my back. Sending daggers with every hurt look. I pulled back from Marty trying not to cry.

"Come on let's go some place quieter" I pulled him away.

It wasn't fair I knew it wasn't but I wanted to hurt Jess as much as he had hurt me by not coming back all those times. I took Marty to our bridge. I threw him against a tree and started kissing him again. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I thought of Jess and slipped my arms around his neck. He slipped his hands up the back of my dress and there were no tingles and no shivers I was numb. Until I thought of Jess his touch his kiss his eyes his smirk. He moved his hands from my back to my stomach. Once again there were no fireworks no spark. Until I thought of Jess. He slid his hands up farther. He slipped his hands up my bra. Nothing and nothing just sorrow. I thought of Jess. My hands shot up into his hair. I felt eyes on my back again and I knew he was there. I jumped and wrapped my legs around his waist. The eyes turned from sad to angry to disturbed to numb. They were cold and icy and numb. He didn't care anymore.

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I saw her with her legs around his waist and his tongue down her throat. First I was sad then I was angry. Somehow I made it to disturbed as he pulled his hands out from under her dress. I closed my eyes and jumped into the icy cold water. I never looked away from them but I was numb and it was good.

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I planted my feet on the ground and pulled away from Marty. I turned around and saw him in the water. My eyes widened and I ran to the lake

"Are you insane get out of there" I yelled.

He didn't hear me. I pulled him out of the water. I got him onto the bridge and took a blanket that I had given him out of his duffel bag. I covered him in it and turned to find Marty but he was gone.

I went back to the party not wanting Jess to know I was there. Everyone had someone to dance with. I swear it looked like Noah's Arc even Kirk was dancing with his mother. I was just standing there on the sidelines watching. Suddenly everyone started counting. "60…59…58" On the other side of the party I saw a small figure. I couldn't make out the face but I saw a beat up old duffel bag and a leather jacket. "55…54…53"I tried to see if it was really him not really trusting my eyes. "36…34…33 I ran as fast as I could to the other side of the party. "20...19…18" I was running and he was running too. Suddenly we here a 10 and we speed up. "3...2." I jumped into his arms and kissed him as the crowd yelled "Happy New Year."

It would have been perfect. Just like my dream if Jess hadn't pulled away. The confetti and balloons were falling, the fireworks were booming, and he was shaking his head.

"You were right we need to be friends" Jess said calmly.

"No Jess Marty is just a friend" I said as he looked at me skeptically "when he kissed me I didn't feel anything when you kiss I feel like my hair is going to stick up in the air from the electricity when he touched me I felt uncomfortable when you touch me even just the smallest little touch I get a shock and I can't breathe or talk when we were there a our bridge I couldn't stop thinking about you and when you were there I could feel your eyes on me that sent shivers down my spine and when your gaze turned from sad to angry to disturbed to numb I was hurt I thought that you didn't care anymore and I realized I was being a horrible person here I am trying to make you jealous when I was the one that broke up with you I was the one who hurt you not the other way around although I had regretted everything seconds after I broke up with you I still let you leave and I had every intent of pulling away from Marty tonight and apologizing to you even though I knew nothing could justify what I had just done but you weren't standing right behind me you were in the water and I panicked I love you Je…"

"Stop" he put his finger on my lip "we need to be friends start over it's a new year and this is our new beginning let's start from the top."

"Ok" I settled.

"Hi I'm Jess"

"I'm Rory"

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Preview

Starting over

"So Jess where are you from"

Confusion

"So you guys are friends now"

Trouble comes and more friends go

"Look I'll be back before you know it"

"I might not be back"