Hi guys! First part of this chapter is in Sybil's point of view, as usual, but the second part, the one in cursive writing, is in Soda's point of view.

16 – Pony's crush

January soon went by, without any exceptional happenings. February, though, started out much worse: I went to visit Lewis several times, but all of a sudden he was gone. He wasn't working with Seth anymore and everytime I tried to go see him at the apartment he had rented, no one would answer. I was afraid he'd gotten into trouble and I asked Owen if he knew anything about it, but he said he didn't. It didn't look like that though and I wondered if maybe Lewis had asked him not to tell anything about why and where he had gone.

Soda was incredibly sweet with me all the time: we got along better than ever and when I told him I was worried sick for my brother, he offered to go looking for him with me.

"I have no idea where he could be…but thanks anyway, Soda…"

Soda grinned and kissed me. I kissed him back. Steve entered the living room and rolled his eyes, or so it looked like to me: "Hi…"

"Hi, Steve!" I said, while Soda jumped and pretended to be glaring at him: "I still haven't forgiven you for last cards game." Steve had beaten him badly, I guessed. Even if the two of them didn't play honestly (Soda kept the aces in his shoes or whenever he could hide them well), Steve was always the one who ended up winning. Well, most of the time. I had watched them play twice and they were hilarious.

"Last time? I beat you the previous time, too, and the previous to that previous one…"

"Liar."

Soda and Steve started playing. I didn't have time to get bored, because Two-Bit joined the three of us and started chatting with me about one funny dream he had had the previous night about two blondes. He was going to say something dirty but Soda told him to shut his trap, firstly because I was blonde, too, and also because he didn't want me to listen to his rubbish. Two-Bit pretended to be offended and finished his beer.

When Ponyboy came home, too, he looked upset. No one seemed to notice but me.

"Are you okay, Pony?" I asked him.

"What? Oh, yeah…I'm fine…"

I could tell he was lying. "I thought you needed help with your history essay…do you want me to lend a hand?" I hinted.

"Sure…"

I followed Pony in his and Soda's bedroom and he collapsed on his bed. "Thanks for asking. I'm fine, though…just a bit tired."

"You look more than tired. Did something happen at school?" I sat next to him and pushed my long hair out of the way.

"No…well…kind of…"

"Maybe you prefer to tell Soda about it?" I realized he may not be that comfortable talking with me about a personal issue.

"It's not because of you…I don't feel like talking about it now…but thank you, Sybil. When I feel like venting, I'll ask you."

"Alright!" I smiled.

"Are you reading something lately?" Ponyboy and I loved books and we often talked together about writers and plots and stories.

"Not really…I haven't read anything in a while. I have some books to read, though…Tale of two cities by Dickens…"

"I read that one!" Ponyboy finally seemed to be at his ease. "You have to read it, it's great!"

"I'll read it then!"

"I'm…" he started to whisper. "I'm sorry about your brother. Soda told me…I mean, he didn't say much, just you were sad because he's…away."

"Thanks…I just hope he's not in trouble."

"What are you two talking about?" Soda rushed in the room and sat beside me.

"I thought you were playing cards…" I reminded him.

"Yeah, but Steve's a pain, he's full of tricks and he doesn't play fairly. Honestly, it gets stressful!"

Pony laughed and I kind of elbowed him lightly: "You never play fairly!"

"Of course, he doesn't let me. Are you having dinner with us?"

"I'd like that, but I have to cook for my father, he's coming home late and he'll be tired."

"Aw…I don't want you to go already!" Soda faked his best little child's voice.

Since I didn't want to leave Soda and he didn't want to leave me, we decided he'd have dinner at my house, so he could stay with me till my father came home. He told Pony and Darry (who had just gotten back from work) and we left.

"Soda, listen…Pony seemed a bit upset and I asked what was wrong, but he didn't want to talk…maybe when you get home you could make him open up…" I said as we were making dinner. Well, I was making dinner. Soda was helping.

"Really? I was too busy playing with Steve to notice…when Pony's like that it's usually nothing good…"

"I bet. He looked sad…more like melancholic than sad, actually."

"I'll talk to him as soon as I go home." I noticed Sodapop looked worried. I felt bad. "I didn't want to make you worry…"

"I'm okay!" He grinned and kissed me. "You're so sweet…"

"Really?"

"Yeah…"

"But Steve and Darry don't like me much, do they?"

"What? Why you think so?"

"It's quite obvious…Steve doesn't even look at me and your brother, well, he…acts like I'm not right for you, or something…"

"Darry's like that, he doesn't open up much with people he doesn't know well…heck, he doesn't even open up in front of me and Ponyboy sometimes! And Steve…it's not that he doesn't like you, he just…"

I intervened: "Soda, I know he doesn't like me…he probably thinks you should go out with some greaser girl…right?"

"It don't matter what he thinks, it's only what I think that matters…and I think I'm in love with you."

He had never told me that. It felt good to hear it, I was actually suddenly feeling like a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I would have replied, if my father had not entered the kitchen. Talk about bad timing. "Hi…nice to see you, Sodapop."

"Good evening, Mr. Forrester…"

"Dad, it's almost ready! Soda's having dinner with us…since I knew you were coming home late, I asked him to stay."

"Of course, he can stay anytime... I'll have a shower…you can start eating, I'll join you soon."

Dad looked real tired. I hoped he hadn't had any troubles at work. First Pony looking miserable, now him. What was going on?

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Life ain't wonderful. I learned that a long time ago, when my parents died. I was so carefree before of that… it was like I had no worries in the world 'cause I didn't want to have any worries. Cause I knew mom and dad, and my brothers, would always be there to help me, whatever happened.

But when my parents died in that car crash, my consciousness came back to me. Kinda like…when you wake up after a long sleep… after a long dream. And I knew I had to be more responsible to stay with Darry and Pony, because the State would only let us together as long as we behaved, since Darry was the only one of age. I ain't a hood or anything like that, so my attitude hasn't changed much since I was a kid: I've always been happy-go-lucky, I've always enjoyed having fun with my buddies, even though we're considered hoodlums by most people.

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Life ain't wonderful. I know that…but since I met Sybil, I've changed my perspective. Life ain't perfect, it ain't some sort of movie where villains get punished in the ending. But if it wasn't like that…it wouldn't be life. I never thought I'd forget Sandy, but I did. I thought I loved her more than anything, but I ain't so sure anymore now…

"Soda…"

I realized Sybil was looking at me. "Yeah?"

"Do you want another piece of cake?"

"No, thanks, I'm stuffed. I loved that cake, will you give me the recipe? Darry can cook it." I joked.

"I can't picture Darry cooking a chocolate cake…" Sybil grinned. "I don't have the recipe, a neighbour gave it to us. Mrs. Morgan, she's such a nice lady, always baking cakes and sweet stuff for us."

Sybil was so beautiful. I wanted to kiss her so bad, but her father was sitting right in front of me so I'd have to wait.

I glanced at the clock. It was time to go, I wanted to talk to Pony, Sybil had told me about his strange behavior. "You want any help with the dishes, before I go?"

"No, I'll wash them, don't worry…I know you want to talk to Ponyboy."

"You sure?"

"Of course!"

I said goodbye to Mr. Forrester and walked outside with Sybil. "Are you busy tomorrow?" I asked her.

"I have to work at the shop after school…why don't you come by for a bit?"

"Sure will." I promised. "And don't worry too much about your brother, Sybil. I know it's hard, but try to…okay?"

She nodded. "Okay."

I smiled and kissed her. It was so reassuring…it made me feel the most powerful person in the whole world, and at the same time, the weakest, because I needed her kisses. I needed to be with her. I was becoming addicted to Sybil and she probably had no idea. I didn't know if I should tell her yet.

When I arrived home, Ponyboy was busy doing his homework. Darry looked like he was going to fall asleep on the sofa, even if he was desperately trying to listen to the news read by some journalist on TV. Once again, I thought he didn't deserve what life had done to him. He didn't deserve all that harshness, if that's even a word. I'm not good with words. Never have been. Another reason why I quit school. I never understood its importance, or lack of. Darry, on the other hand, deserved college, and if it wasn't for the death of our parents he would be going to college these days, I'm sure. He's awful brainy, just like Ponyboy. But Darry thinks much more than Pony: my little brother studies way less than Darry did and gets high grades, while Darry used to study a lot and was a straight A's student. He had, and still has, potential, though. I hope someday he'll be able to do what he really wants. Thinking about it, it's only three years till Ponyboy turns 18 and he won't need Darry as his guardian anymore. I'm already a legal adult and I could look after Pony, too, if the State would let me, but I'm sure Darry'll have to wait three more years before he can stop being a guardian. It seems like he doesn't mind it much, nowadays, though. I guess it's because he loves us.

"Hey, Pony." I entered our bedroom and sat on the bed. "Have you finished your homework?"

"Not really." He mumbled, staring at the piece of paper in front of him. That rubbish, I was so glad I was over it. "But I'll finish tomorrow, I'm tired." He yawned and sat next to me.

I waited. I knew he was going to ask me something. At first I couldn't understand anything, because he started rambling about every possible subject, but in the end I understood Ponyboy had a crush on some girl. He wouldn't admit it though, he just said he had thought a lot about this girl lately…

"So…why don't you ask her out?" I suggested.

"I can't, Soda! I…she's going out with someone already."

"Who?"

"Bryon Douglas. You don't know him anyway…"

"Bryon Douglas…" I repeated. The name didn't ring any bell. "Is he a Greaser?"

"Kinda…he ain't rich, but he doesn't live really close to this part of the town, either…"

"Well, they may break up and you can ask her out then. If they don't, that means the girl doesn't deserve a great kid like you, Pony."

Ponyboy shook his head. "Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe I don't deserve someone like her…"

I sighed. "I know how you feel, Pony…first love sucks at times…but don't give up, it ain't like she's married to that other guy. And even if you think you love someone…it's so difficult to be sure. It's difficult to tell."

Pony whispered: "You love Sybil…or you still love Sandy?"

"What do you think?" I smiled. Before any of us could say anything, the phone rang, and Darry yelled: "Pony, it's Mark!"

"Alright, here I come!"

"Mark who?" I asked.

"Mark Jennings…you saw him once!" and he left to answer, without further explanation. I sighed. "Do I really love Sybil?"