Hi y'all! (I know "y'all" is kind of a Southern thing, and since I don't live in the US I don't know why I wrote that…I guess it's just because I like the way it sounds…yeah, I'm nuts!)

Anyway…guess what, I forgot the disclaimer several times in the past chapters! I don't even know why we're supposed to put it on every page, since it's OBVIOUS we poor fanfiction writers don't own anything, but I'll say it once again: I don't own the Outsiders, I only wish I did! I only wish I could write such an awesome book just like SE Hinton did!

You'll probably find this chapter kind of sad…but don't feel too depressed once you're finished reading it, alright? And, once again, the part in cursive is in Soda's point of view (and the reference "just a figure in a big Monopoly game" comes from one song called "Strong Enough to Break" by Hanson)!

18 – Home is behind…

"But you can do something! Anything, I don't care! Just do-"

"I can't, Sybil. I can't do anything."

"But you're a lawyer!"

"That doesn't mean I can change laws!"

"If you don't do anything, Soda will leave and I probably won't see him until this stupid war is over! Or maybe I will never see him after he leaves because anything could happen to him! Dad…please!"

"Sybil, I would help if I knew what to do, but I don't. Everyone would be asking not to go to war if it were possible, but it isn't."

"Thanks so much!" I yelled and left, slamming the front door. I got into the car and turned the engine on, angrily. I couldn't believe my father was acting that unreasonable! He sounded like he didn't even care, like he didn't even know Sodapop! I couldn't believe first Lewis, now Soda and Darry had gotten their draft letters! But what was worse, was the fact that Soda, Darry and Pony had gone to Oklahoma City to explain the peculiar situation they were in and that if the both of them left, Ponyboy, only 15, would be on his own. The result was, they said Darry could stay, since he had always been the legal guardian of his brothers since the beginning, but Soda had to go. They said he wouldn't get sent to Vietnam or anything for the moment, though, because first they needed to teach him how to "survive", so he would get sent to some training camp. That definitely sounded anything but heartening, especially for me. How could they send letters to eighteen year olds and force them to go to fight and possibly lose their young lives? I couldn't believe how crazy the situation was. I wished strongly, like I never had before, that we all were hippies so we could do what the hell we wanted and not obey every single stupid law and rule. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't.

I drove aimlessly for a while. Soda had to leave in a week. I didn't know how I could stand it once he was gone. If only I could do something. Everything. I would…

I decided I'd go and pick up Ponyboy. He was probably still at school because of his sport activities and I thought we understood each other better than anyone else, at the moment. I knew he loved Soda deeply and he would be heart-broken if he left.

When I reached his school, I quietly walked inside the building. I had never been there before, since I attended another school, and I didn't know where he would be practicing at. Then I saw someone familiar. I knew those sideburns. "Two-Bit!"

"Hi, Sybil!" he grinned. "What'cha doing here?"

"I thought I would come and pick up Ponyboy…do you happen to know where he is now?"

"If he ain't practicin', he's probably in the school library. I'll walk you to both places so we can find out where he is."

"Thanks." I smiled weakly and started walking next to him.

"I know it's hard…I wish it was me instead of him." He suddenly exclaimed, looking at me. "I mean, I wouldn't mind goin' there and beating 'em up."

"So you didn't get any…?"

"Not yet. Maybe I will soon. Maybe I could leave with Soda anyway."

"You're a great friend…"

"Don't say that, you make me blush." He grinned, not looking flushed at all. "Want a cigarette?" he took one out of his pocket.

"No, I don't smoke…"

"I forgot. Sorry. I read one of Pony's letters once, he said I was sorta scatter-brained. I really am, I guess. You know my teacher kicked me out of the classroom one time because I couldn't understand what she was saying? But it was her fault, she had the thickest Western accent I've ever heard. Everyone pretended to understand her, but me…"

I laughed and wondered if he had made that up to make me smile.

"Look, Pony's over there."

We stopped and saw Pony busy chatting with his teacher. He then nodded and turned, like he was ready to go, and then noticed us. "Hey! Why are you here?"

"Pony…" Two-Bit became serious all of a sudden. "It's hard to tell you, it's hard to tell anybody…actually…Sybil and I love each other and we're gonna run away together!"

I looked at him like he was nuts. Then I saw Ponyboy was smiling and I knew Two-Bit wanted to make both of us laugh. "Why, don't you believe me?"

"Sure I believe you…why you still at school?" Pony asked again.

"I had nothing better to do. I think I'll go get some booze now, though…we need plenty if we're gonna run away, right, Sybil?"

"…Right…lots of booze!" I nodded, pretending I was fine with the idea.

"So I'll see you later, Juliet…" Two-Bit grinned.

"What? Why Juliet?"

"Cause Romeo and Juliet ran away together, didn't they?"

Pony and I shook our heads. "Huh…not exactly." He said.

"Nevermind…later!"

Ponyboy and I left the building, too. "So…how are you doing, Pony?" I glanced at him. I had just asked him the stupidest question ever. "Sorry…I didn't mean it like that…" I apologized.

"No, it's alright…I guess you're not feeling any better than I am…"

I shook my head. "It hurts so much I think I will break sometimes…"

"I know, me too."

I noticed he was getting taller. He would definitely look a lot like Soda when he was a bit older. That thought somehow made me feel better, even though I wasn't sure why.

The following week went by too quickly: Soda and I saw each other every day and even if we didn't speak much about the war topic, we both knew those could be our last days together. I cried myself to sleep every night and in the morning I always felt like hell. Then I saw Soda and I felt better. Then I remembered that he would leave soon and I felt like hell again. It was a vicious circle. And I hated myself, because I wanted to be stronger, to seem strong, at least, to everyone else.

Our last day together, we stayed in my living room for all the afternoon (dad was obviously at work), on the sofa, holding hands and talking. Soda would leave the following morning and I was so nervous. I guess he was more than me, but he wasn't showing it.

"Sybil…will you wait for me?"

"Of course! You shouldn't even ask…I will wait till you come back and then you'll never leave me anymore…right?"

"Sure I won't." He sighed. "I need a cigarette, really bad…" he took one out of his pocket. "I'll go outside…be back in a minute."

I nodded and watched him get up and leave the room. My hands were trembling. I was really tense. I needed to calm down.

I reached Soda outside. "Hey…" I whispered.

"Sybil, it's cold, you should have a jacket on…"

I got closer to him and took his cigarette. "Can I…?" I didn't finish the question. Soda looked at me, startled, as I inhaled some smoke. Then I started to cough like crazy. I couldn't almost breathe. Soda took the cigarette and held me as I calmed down. "Why?"

"I thought…smoke is supposed to steady your nerves…well, I…I once heard some classmates of mine say that…" I explained, since he was looking at me sceptically.

Soda sighed and placed a kiss on my head. "Don't smoke ever again, do it for me, will you?"

I nodded, fighting against the tears. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I hugged him, wishing time would stop going by.

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So that was it. I was going to leave. That very day.

I glanced at the clock. It was three in the morning and I couldn't sleep. Ponyboy was lying next to me, probably lost in some weird dream. I wished I could close my eyes and not think about anything for another whole day. I wished I had another day to spend with Sybil. She probably didn't understand how much she meant to me. No one did, not even Darry. He thought I was crazy, he thought I still was a kid who couldn't really love…except for my brothers, but that's different.

I wasn't a kid. I was almost a man.

"Soda?" Pony whispered.

I looked up. "Yeah?"

"Can't you sleep?"

"Nope. You fully awake?"

"Yeah…I dreamt about something, one of those dreams I can't remember…and it woke me."

"I'm sorry about that."

"Soda, don't go."

"I wish I could stay, Pony. But I have to go."

"You could leave Tulsa and no one would ever find out where you'd go! I wouldn't tell, no one would…and…we could come and visit you all the time! Sybil could stay with you this whole summer, and the war would finally end and then-"

"Whoa, calm down, Ponyboy!" I almost laughed. "As usual, you're a highly imaginative kid, like your teacher says. That wouldn't work… me running away. And I ain't no coward who won't fight for his country."

"But this war's useless! It doesn't make any sense that you have to go and fight and maybe get hurt or maybe…" he stopped talking.

"Come on, Pony. We'd better try to sleep some." I didn't want to talk with him anymore. My heart was slowly breaking and I couldn't help but try to ignore it, ignore the situation, so that maybe it would stop. For a while.

Ponyboy was silent. And then, before I realized it, both of us had fallen asleep.

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I didn't sleep much, though. At six and a half, I was up, in the kitchen, making some coffee. I usually didn't drink any, but I really needed it that morning. I didn't even feel like eating some chocolate cake. Man, was I feeling off the wall.

I saw Darry in the corner of my eye. He was standing in the doorway, wearing only his jeans despite the cold March morning weather, and I could tell he didn't know how to act. I knew he felt guilty because he got to stay and I got to leave.

"I'll come back, Darry." I said, startling him and also myself.

"I know you will…" he replied, sounding convinced, although his face showed no sign of confidence.

"Look after Pony and don't get mad at him, okay? He always tries his best." I reminded him.

"I wish it was me, you know…" Darry looked so guilty, even though he didn't have to. I knew we couldn't avoid all this.

We looked at each other, very awkwardly, before he hugged me. "Take care of yourself, little buddy."

I nodded, feeling tears well up at the corners of my eyes. I didn't know how I could cope without my brothers. Then I noticed Pony was standing there, looking at us, silently crying. We all were emotional wrecks that morning, I'm sure.

Saying goodbye to Steve was horrible and saying goodbye to Sybil was even worse. I felt like my heart was being shattered in a thousand pieces. Sybil wasn't crying and I wasn't, either, but we both were doing our best to restrain ourselves, I could tell.

"I better go, Sybil…"

"Already?" she was staring at me like I represented her whole world, like everything was going to collapse after I was gone, and I never realized how striking her blue eyes were, till that very moment.

"Yeah…you know I'll write, even if I suck at writing…but I'll try for you…" I whispered.

She nodded and buried her face on my shoulder. I could tell she had started crying. I let her for a while, then I said: "Hey, I wanna see you smile…Ponyboy'll tell me how you'll behave while I'm away!" I grinned. She had to grin, too. "Okay…"

"I'll come back soon. I promise."

Sybil looked at me like she didn't believe me and she was kind of right: I couldn't promise anything, since I couldn't choose when to leave, where to go, what to do: I was only another figure in a big Monopoly game, or so I felt.

I left broken-hearted. I didn't know what life would be like for me in the following months, I didn't know what would happen. I only knew Two-Bit would reach me soon because he had gotten his draft letter, too, and I wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse.