Disclaimer: Don't own the O.C., or the lyrics to "On My Own" by The Used. R & R. Thanks!
On My Own
See
all those people on the ground
Wasting time
I try to hold it
all inside
But just for tonight
The top of the world
Sitting
here wishing
The things I've become
That something is missing
Maybe I...
But what do I know
She stared blankly at the clear liquid. It's not water. Pure Vodka. She shudders as the first taste burns her throat. Again and again she puts back gulps of the alcoholic drink. Slowly, she feels the effects. Her mind is at ease. On her perch, at the lifeguard station, she looks across the ocean. For a split second, reality takes over. She has lost herself. She knows this. A lone tear falls down her cheek. Forcibly she shakes her head, drowns out all sense of life and falls to the floor with darkness taking over.
And now it
seems that I have found
Nothing at all
I want to hear your
voice out loud
Slow it down, slow it down
Without it all
I'm
choking on nothing
It's clear in my head
And I'm screaming
for something
Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all
A ringing awakens her. Steady streams of morning summer sunlight fall on her. She winces, another throbbing headache. Fumbling for her cell phone, she reads the caller ID: Ryan. "I'm fine." she quickly says, "I was out. But thanks for calling." She appreciates it. But, for now, she can't even take solitude in Ryan. Too much has happened. Well, Trey happened. She needs something. Something that won't break. Something strong.
On
my own
Without it all
I'm choking on nothing
It's clear in
my head
And I'm screaming for something
Knowing nothing is
better than knowing at all
On my own
She needs to be stronger in herself, she realizes. Needs to be her own support. Slowly, Marissa stands up. She feels the salty air against her face. There is no else on the beach. Just her. This is the way it will be, from now on. On her own.