A/N: Sorry I couldn't update any sooner you guys, I've been sick for a while and haven't been up to doing that much. Anyways here the next chapter and I promise I will update as soon as I can. Thanks so much for all the reviews!
I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS!
I Hate Myself for Losing You
Summary: AU: During ROTS. Padme dies before child birth and Anakin turns to the dark side before the end of ROTS, because of it. But can Padme really be dead? Book 2 of 2: What If?
Chapter 9: Why Must I Leave Now?
Padme awoke to the morning, feeling happier then ever and feeling like she was back home. Back with Anakin and Luke and Leia. She sighed happily and turned in Vader's arms. Feeling the satin sheets against her cold legs, she relived last night. Slightly blushing at that thought, she got out of his arms and wrapped a robe tightly around her. She exited the main bedroom and into the twins room.
They were still sleeping, making cute little noises as if to say that they were still there and that they were still sleeping. Padme smiled. She turned away from the cribs and made her way back to the main bedroom, she sighed as she watched Vader sleep. Should she even dare tying to call him Anakin? Or tell him that he was still her husband and that she was still his wife? She titled her head to one side and examined him closely. On the outside he was still Anakin Skywalker, in the inside he was Darth Vader.
In one fluid motion she left that room, her robe swishing behind her. She walked into the kitchen where she would start making breakfast. Padme sighed as she thought about being home in her apartment once more. Hmmm, like that would ever happen. She moved towards the cabinet and pulled out a pan. Before she could even turn towards the stove, strong arms wrapped tightly around her, turning her the other way. She smiled brightly and kissed him gently on the lips.
"You know, we've gotta stop doing this." Padme said between kisses. Vader stopped.
"Doing what?" Padme giggled as she heard the twins cry. Padme slipped out of his arms and made her way towards the twin's room, quickly switching on the light and picking up the twins.
"Leia… Luke… You must be hungry." Padme determined and made her way back to the kitchen. She smiled at Vader and made her way towards the table. She placed Luke in one chair and Leia in the other. She stood up straight and made her way towards the kitchen once more.
"They're amazing Anakin." Padme turned towards the twins.
"What did you call me?" Padme heads snapped when she realized where she was. She was on Vader's ship without Anakin. She mentally kicked herself, how could she forget?
"I'm sorry; it just sort of slipped out." She felt ashamed; she shouldn't be living in the past.
"No, it's alright." Vader looked at her, his eyes searching her. She looked ashamed, her eyes wide and glistening as if she was going to cry. He knew what she wanted, she wanted to go back home. She wanted to be with Anakin Skywalker. Well she was never going to be with Anakin Skywalker again, he was Vader now and he could never go back.
SIDIOUS SHIP – LATER THAT MORNING – VADER'S CHAMBER
Padme walked around the room holding Leia in my arm. She smiled at her singing a beautiful tune to her.
"There was once a young girl, with everything in the world. She was beautiful, she was a queen. She met a small boy one day that changed her whole life. They were married; they loved each other so-"
Leia made a small sound as she fell asleep in her mother's arms. Padme sighed contently as she watched the young girl sleep. Padme rubbed her finger against Leia's cheek gently.
"Leia…" She spoke her daughters name out loud like it was the first time in the whole time they had been together that she had said it. She placed the girl in one of the play pens and walked towards the main bedroom where Vader was getting ready.
"Are you going somewhere?" Padme questioned and sat at the end of their bed. Vader nodded as he ran his fingers through his hair.
"I have to go on a mission, I might be away for awhile, you'll be fine right?" Vader asked and Padme nodded.
"We'll be fine." Padme gently touched his face and leaned forward, placing a kiss on his cheek.
"Don't worry," Padme smiled as she let her hand fall down. "Even though I do not believe in what you are doing, we'll be fine."
Vader smiled as he got up and walked away from his wife. He was Anakin Skywalker whenever he was with her, but when he was with his master or on missions he was Vader again. He turned around and kissed his wife on the lips.
"I love you Padme." Padme gasped slightly at those words. She was surprised that Vader could even produce those words. Padme relaxed a little and processed the words inside her head.
She was still thinking about whether to call him Vader or Anakin. She sighed the first way to get him back to the light side was reminding him of his old self. So she decided to call him Anakin.
"I love you too, Ani." His smile only brighten, she had forgiven him. Padme was the only one that would ever be able to call him Anakin or Ani. He left her; she waved as he walked through the door.
She should be so use to this, so why wasn't she?
SIDIOUS SHIP – TWO MONTHS LATER – VADER'S CHAMBER
Padme smiled brightly as she heard footsteps walk down the hallway, but they seemed like they were tiptoeing, she titled her head to the side and crept towards the door. What was happening? Were they under attack? Where was Anakin? She made her way out of the doorway, her eyes searching the hallway. She saw a figure coming towards her. She wanted to scream, but she felt a hand come against her mouth before she could scream.
"MMMMM!" Padme tried to scream, but the hand was tightly clamed against her mouth. She prayed that her twins would be alright.
"Don't scream." A voice commanded her and she turned her head, that voice sounded so familiar. She saw Obi-Wan.
She nodded, to assure them that she wasn't going to scream. Master Windu dropped his hand from her mouth and she smiled brightly. They were here to save her! But she didn't want to leave… What about saving Anakin? What good was it to leave when she still had a chance at saving Anakin?
"We're here finally."
"That was a long time." Padme joked and watched a smile appear on the two master's face. She looked down the long hallways.
"Come in." She directed and let Master Windu and Obi-Wan walk into Vader's chambers. She followed them shortly. She shut the door behind her and walked towards the main sitting room where they were sitting.
"Why are you here?" Padme questioned as she sat down.
"We're here to rescue you Padme." Padme shook her head.
"I don't need any saving! I mean I have a chance to save Anakin."
"He's too far gone senator, you must listen." Master Windu said and Padme looked away. She didn't want this. She could save him, she knew it.
"No, I will not come." She stated and got up.
"Padme… You have to come it's for your own good."
"Good-day Masters." She said quickly and moved towards the kitchen where Luke and Leia were sitting playing with each other.
Obi-Wan and Master Windu followed her.
"I said good-day." Padme whipped around. She stared at the two people in the room. She glared at them, she did whatever she could to get rid of them, but they wouldn't leave.
"Please just leave." Padme sighed in defeat and turned back towards the kitchen.
"Padme, you need to come back with us."
"No!"
"Senator, we will take you against your will."
"I'm not leaving Master Windu; I need to get Anakin back."
"He's not coming back Padme!" Obi-Wan shouted, but Padme didn't say anything. She simply walked to the table where Luke and Leia were.
Padme didn't see it coming; the two crept behind her and knocked her out. She fell to the floor; Obi-Wan caught her small body as Master Windu gathered the two twins. Darth Vader had no idea what was coming.
CORUSCANT – THE NEXT DAY – JEDI TEMPLE
Padme's eyes snapped open as she sat up. Where was she? Where was Anakin? Where was Luke and Leia? She looked around the room and noticed it was the healing wing of the Jedi Temple. Padme wanted to cry. How had this happened? She sighed; maybe it was for the best.
Obi-Wan walked through the door to see Padme sitting up and wiping crystal tears off of her face. He walked over and sat down in the chair next to her.
"Why did you do that Obi-Wan, I could have saved him." Padme was little out of it still. She wanted to hit and scream at Obi-Wan, but couldn't.
"Padme, it was for the best, I assure you that it was." Padme sighed and let herself fall back against the bed. She stared at the ceiling.
"But… I just wish… He was here." She concluded and closed her eyes.
"Obi-Wan, where are the twins?"
"They're in the safe hands of Master Yoda; they'll be given back to you when you have your strength back." She nodded as she drifted off to sleep.
CORUSCANT – A COUPLE HOURS LATER – JEDI TEMPLE
Padme walked around the halls of the Jedi Temple and into the Jedi Council room where all the masters sat. Where Luke and Leia were. All she wanted was to get the twins and leave.
"You called for me?" Padme questioned and Obi-Wan nodded.
"Padme, we need to decide the twin's fate." Padme eyes shot from each master to the twins.
"What do you mean?"
"We have to hide them somewhere safe. Or else Vader will get them." Master Windu spoke up and Padme turned her head to the side.
"You mean I can't be with them?" Padme wrapped her arms around herself for comfort since Anakin couldn't be there.
"Yes, that's what I mean Padme." Obi-Wan said and Padme nodded.
"It's for the best." She told herself.
End of Chapter 9
A/N: Hope you liked this chapter! Review please!