A/N: Ok, ok, I'm sorry for not updating sooner; I couldn't decide what to do with the rest of the story! Well you'll see what happens this chapter and I just pray that you guys will be happy with this ending!

If you have visited this story in the last two days, you will have noticed that now there are 3 stories in the series WHAT IF? No that is not a mistake, it is another story that is an alternate ending to ROTS. So if you liked this story and IF I COULD CHANGE OUR FATE; you will like THE DARK SIDE OF THE SUN.

Summary is in my profile under: New Stories for Star Wars. If you could check that out, it would be great! Oh and please tell me what you think about it!

THIS STORY IS NOT OVER THERE IS ONE MORE CHAPTER!

Thanks for all the reviews and for taking the poll! It was a lot of help for me.

So I hope you enjoy this chapter and I promise the last chapter will be up soon! Ok enjoy!

I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS!

I Hate Myself for Losing You

Summary: AU: During ROTS. Padme dies before child birth and Anakin turns to the dark side before the end of ROTS, because of it. But can Padme really be dead? Book 2 of 3: What If?

Chapter 15: Back to the Beginning

Anakin held her for quite awhile. He just sat there crying and rocking back and forth. Wishing that she would wake up and really be there… Telling him she loved him… He longed to hear those words:

I love you Anakin… It's not your fault.

Just to hear those words from her would be everything to him. Why couldn't he see that it was killing her to see him as Vader…? Why didn't he just forget Vader and gone to Obi-Wan faster? It would have made this life easier. He would have had Padme still. Obi-Wan watched his friend cry and suffer while he could nothing for him.

"Anakin… We should leave." Obi-Wan spoke slowly and softly. He didn't want Anakin to do something stupid.

"I can't believe I let her go…"

"It's not your fault Anakin."

"It is MY fault Master! Why don't you see that! I let her die, I could have saved her way before this happened, but I didn't. I didn't change and now it's my fault that she's died."

"She… She might be alive still." Anakin shook his head.

"I can't feel her anymore." Obi-Wan lower his head and looked at the ground as he heard Anakin let out a cry for Padme… The only person that would never return his cry. He sighed; he couldn't see Anakin like this.

Anakin closed his eyes hoping that when he woke up Padme would be there with Luke and Leia. They would be living on Naboo and everything would be fine. He would still be allowed to be a Jedi and Padme a senator. He didn't understand why this had always happened to him.

"I truly deeply love you."

"Ani… I'm pregnant."

"Vader, I'm never gonna leave you."

"Yes you are! You are saying that I'm a liar; I'm not a liar Vader! If there's a liar here, it's you!"

"Stop it! Come back to me, please!"

"A BETTER WIFE? A BETTER WIFE? ARE YOU CRAZY, I'VE BEEN THE BEST WIFE IN THE WHOLE GALAXY! I HAD YOU'RE TWO CHILDREN! ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M ALSO A BAD MOTHER? AND THEN GET ANOTHER WOMAN TO TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN AND PRETEND THAT THAT'S THEIR MOTHER?"

Why couldn't he see that she was in pain? That she was dying from everything he was doing. He was stubborn and only thought of himself. He had never one thought of what Padme thought or what she felt. If she was happy with him or not. He held her close as his legs shakily stood up.

Please Padme, forgive me…

Anakin? Her voice entered his mind, her beautiful strong voice… Why was this haunting him?

Padme?

Anakin… I love you it's not your fault… And with that she fell unconscious, Anakin starred at the body in his arms, so she wasn't gone… But now was she? He felt her force signal alive again… It was the best feeling to ever enter his body, his angel was alive… Her force signal was dim, but she was alive. Anakin stood up and looked at Obi-Wan.

"Obi-Wan! She's alive!" Obi-Wan got up from his position on the ground.

"How is that possible?"

"Never underestimate Padme." Anakin grinned and made his way out of Sidious's main gathering room and ran towards the ship. Obi-Wan followed behind him. Entering the ship he laid Padme down on a bench and covered her with his robe. Quickly reaching into his robes pocket her found the jappor necklace and placed it around her neck. She stirred and opened her eyes reaching for the jappor necklace. She smiled slightly grasping it in her hands before closing her eyes, feeling the energy drain out of her.

CORUSCANT – HOSPITAL WING – NIGHT

Padme was sleeping soundly on the hospital bed, her chocolate brown hair fanned out behind her head. Anakin watched her silently as he ran his fingers down through her hair and down the side of her arm before taking hold of her hand. It had been two standard hours since they had arrived at the hospital. They had done some sort of treatment on her and she would be fine.

Anakin felt her force signal stronger then ever, it was like a burning candle strong and steady and it was never going the fade out. He sighed and smiled feeling her hand grip his.

"Padme…" He breathed out as she opened her eyes and smiled.

"Anakin… I'm so proud of you, you did it! You destroyed Sidious and saved the Jedi Order… Oh Anakin… I love you." He leaned forward and captured her lips knowing that she had heard him before.

"Padme… So sorry, so sorry…" Anakin mumbled as his face was buried into her shoulder. She took her free hand and ran her fingers through his hair soothingly.

"Anakin… It is not your fault-"

"Yes it is my fault Padme," He jerked his head away from her and looked at her. "I could have turned around when you told me too but I didn't… And for that, this is all my fault."

"Ani, listen to me." She pleaded and he nodded. "This is not your fault… It is Vader's fault."

"I am Vader Padme!"

"No… You are Anakin Skywalker a Jedi night and a hero… My hero." She reached out and caressed his cheek; he softened to her touch and smiled.

"Thank you Padme…"

"I didn't do anything Anakin… It was all you." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek gently.

"You did everything Padme, you saved me…"

"Anakin-" Padme started but Anakin cut her off.

"No Padme, you did save me." She sighed and nodded. She knew that she was a big part in his turn to the light side. She sat up and swung her legs around and let them dangle off the bed. She smiled and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck burying her head in his shoulder. She could feel tears falling down his face as she held him. She felt her own face getting wet with tears. She smiled; she finally had her Anakin back.

CORUSCANT – JEDI TEMPLE – COUNCIL ROOM – TWO WEEKS LATER

Anakin stood in front of the council, looking at the ground as the council decided his fate.

"Young Skywalker." Yoda started. "Broken the Jedi Code you have, turned to the dark side you have, tried to destroy the Jedi you also have."

Anakin looked up and stared out of the window not daring to look at any of the members on the council.

"But, destroyed the sith you have. And seen the wrong in your doings you also have. And for that, a member of this council you are."

Anakin's head turned and looked at Obi-Wan who was smiling. "What?"

"We give you the position of a Master." Obi-Wan concluded and Anakin stared at him.

"But-But… What about my family?"

"We cannot take you away from them, so we will allow you to keep your family." Master Windu stated and Anakin smiled.

"Thank you Masters." Anakin said and bowed before turning around and walking out the door to tell Padme of the news. He ran towards his quarters which Padme was staying in with the twins until they could move out to the Lake Retreat house. He opened the doors and saw Padme starring out of the window, both twins sound asleep in their cribs.

"Padme…" Padme turned around and smiled before running into his arms and resting her head in his chest.

"Oh Ani, I thought that something bad had happened."

"Like what angel?"

"I don't know, but you were at the council room for a long time, I got worried." He kissed the top her head as he sensed that her eyes were closed.

"Padme… I'm a master." Padme pulled away in surprise.

"What?"

"They made me a master!" Padme stared in disbelief before coming closer to her husband and kissing him.

"Anakin! That is wonderful." Padme shouted after they had parted. "But what about us?"

She was indicating herself and the children, he knew. He smiled as she frowned. She looked at him and started to smile. Knowing that he would be able to stick with them.

"They allowed you to still be with us didn't they?" Anakin nodded and Padme slapped his arm playfully. She laughed as he held her close to him.

"We're going to be together forever Padme."

"Just as I would want us to be." Padme answered.

"Are you sure you won't get tired of me?" Anakin teased.

"I could never ever get tired of you!" Padme laughed and broke away from Anakin, walking into the twin's room to check on them. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed Anakin wasn't following her.

"Anakin… Are you coming?" Anakin shook his head.

"I don't want to disturb them."

"Disturb them? That is not possible, they sleep like rocks." Anakin laughed and started to follow her. The door opened and revealed the two twins crib. Leia's was a bright green and Luke's was a baby blue. Padme walked in the middle of the cribs and looked over both of them.

"Their beautiful..." Padme stated and reached down to pick up Luke, who had just woken up.

"I told you I would disturb them."

"How do you know I didn't disturb them?"

"Because they love you." Anakin concluded.

"They love you too! What are you talking about?"

"They don't know me."

"Ani… They know you, you are their father, they can tell. Now go on and pick up Leia."

"I don't want to hurt her Padme."

"You're not going to hurt her trust me." Padme smiled reassuringly and Anakin nodded before picking up Leia gently. Leia's eyes opened and stared at Anakin before smiling and giggling.

"She never does that." Padme said in awe and laughed as she shifted Luke to her other hip. "Only with you she will do that. With me, she'll cry."

"No she won't." Anakin said and Padme giggled.

"Yes she will!"

"No she won't Padme!" He held the small baby close to him and Padme walked out of the room and towards the couch. The play pen was set up and she leaned down placing Luke into it.

"Here I'll show you." Padme said and stretched her arms out. Anakin placed Leia in her arms and heard the sharpest cry ever. Leia wailed and stretched her chubby arms out towards her father.

Padme handed her over and smiled. "I told you so." Anakin took Leia and she calmed down. He sighed and sat down on the couch feeling Leia falling asleep on his chest. He held her with his mechanical arm, but Leia didn't seem to mind. Padme sat down next to him, pulling the play pen closer because of Luke. He was sound asleep a small blanket around him.

Anakin wrapped his arm around Padme and pulled her closer. She smiled as he wrapped his Jedi cloak around both of them. Padme rested her head on his chest as his arm was tightly around her waist. He watched as Padme's eyes closed and looked at the jappor necklace around Padme's neck, her hair coved the metal chain that held it but you could see the pendent perfectly.

He looked around at his family… Padme, Luke, and Leia… He repeated that in his mind.

His family…

And with that he fell asleep with dreams of what life held for them…

The End