Ok, sorry this took so long, but as some of you have seen, I stopped to write a short Dukes Christmas story! Not only that, but my church had a musical in which I was one of the main characters, so life's been busy.

Also, I apologize for the shortness of this chapter!

Thank you, all of you wonderful reviewers, and keep on reviewing!

TO ANONYMOUS REVIEWERS:

ruby: Like I said before, just give the stubborn fools some time. :)

JJJ: Well now, it wouldn't be a Dukes of Hazzard fic without SOMEONE being thrown in jail, now would it? But just a warning, it may not happen the way you plan... ((evil smile))

Chapter dedication: to all those small town gossipers who never get ANYTHING right!

How Word Travels!

"Good morning, Mrs. Hogg," greeted Lulu's usual beautician and all of Hazzard's main gossip supplier as the wide woman walked into the Hazzard beauty parlor.

"Well, good morning to you too, Mary-Jane," Lulu returned with a smile.

Mary-Jane returned the smile, gesturing towards a chair. "Go ahead and have a seat. I'm ready for you already."

"So, what's the dirt going on around town?" Lulu asked, lowering her bulk into the seat. "Anything interesting lately?"

"Oh, lots of very interesting things," replied Mary-Jane, already starting her work on Mrs. Hogg's hair. "Very, very interesting things."

"Well tell me then!"

"Well, firstly, Old Man Jenkins' daughter got kicked out of college," the beautician said. "She got caught in a boy's dorm!"

"Little Sally Jenkins?" cried Lulu, hands covering her heart in surprise. "I would've never thought it of her!"

"Yes! And she having such a bright future after Capitol City College!"

"My, my! Anything else interesting?"

"Well, it's been goin' all around town, and no one's really confirmed it yet…" started Mary-Jane, seemingly uncertainly. But her uncertainty was just a device to make it more interesting. "The Duke boys are gettin' married!"

"No!" Lulu cried in disbelief. "Those two playboys? I don't think so!"

"Yes!" Mary-Jane confirmed. "Uncle Jesse's making them."

"Why?"

"Well, it seems two old girlfriends of theirs showed up pregnant!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Who?" asked Lulu. "Which 'girlfriends'?"

"Twins, I think," replied the beautician. "Betty-Lou and Bobbie-Jo, I heard their names were."

"Which is Bo's fiancée, and which is Luke's?"

"I think it's Jo and Bo, and Lou and Luke," Mary-Jane replied. "See? Got their own little rhymes a-goin' on."

"Well now," Lulu said, "that is interesting."

-+-+-+-

"Well, you've just got a dead battery," Cooter announced, coming out from under the hood of his latest customer's pick-up truck. "I'll just jump it and you'll be all set to go, Miss Muriel."

"Why thank ya, sonny," the old lady replied, smiling. "I just don't know how to do anything with these wing-ding gadgets these days."

Cooter smiled politely. "Well, lucky for you, ma'am, I do."

The old lady let out a laugh that sounded like squeaky door hinges.

Attaching the jumper cables to the battery, Cooter tried not to laugh.

"Hey, did you hear about the Duke boys' babies?" Muriel asked.

Cooter almost shocked himself with the battery jumper. "What?" he said.

"The Duke boys have babies," the woman continued. "It's been going all around town. I can't believe you haven't heard anything."

"What did you hear?" Cooter asked, carefully guarding the fact that he himself knew anything. After all, hadn't Bo and Luke themselves sworn him to complete secrecy about this whole deal?

"That the babies' mothers just showed up at the Duke doorstep with babies in their arms!" the old woman replied. "Newborns, both of them. Bo has twins even!"

'That's not right!" the mechanic blurted. "You heard completely wrong."

The old woman arched an eyebrow. "How do you know?"

"Uh…" Cooter tried to come up with a quick lie, but being the dull man he is, wasn't able to, so he just quickly said, "I'm just guessing."

Old Miss Muriel looked at Cooter like he was a little crazy—which, in my opinion, he most definitely is—but didn't say anything more.

-+-+-+-

Enos Strate was going to the bank to deposit the usual small fraction of his paycheck into his savings account when he heard the news, tainted and skewed as it was. After depositing Enos' money, the teller, an old friend of Enos' from grade school, decided he'd share the latest and hottest gossip in town.

"Did you hear about the Duke boys' predicament?" he said.

"Which one is that?" Enos asked.

"Well, it seems that two of their lady friends from a few months back have showed up," the teller replied. "And it seems they're pregnant."

"Really?"

"The babies are Bo and Luke's, too!" he continued conspiratorially. "But the boys don't know that. They think the babies are other men's."

"Wow," Enos replied. "And no one's gotten up the courage to tell them?"

"No," the teller answered. "One of the girls is a might feisty little thing, and downright mean sometimes. It's my opinion everyone's scared to tell Bo and Luke because of the little lady."

"Hmm," Enos said thoughtfully. "Well, I've gotta run. See you in church Sunday morning, Joe."

"See ya, Enos."

No sooner had Enos taken two steps outside of the bank and out onto the sidewalk when he spied Bo and Luke headed his way, waving at the town's doctor.

"Good morning, Doc Appleby," both said.

Apparently knowing the news, the doctor just threw a wary glance around and looked for a quick excuse to run in the opposite direction. "Can't talk," he said shortly, hurriedly striding off. "Lives to save and such."

"What's gotten into him?" Luke wondered aloud.

Enos, also being overcome by the impulse to turn and run, attempted to, but wasn't quite quick enough.

"Enos!"

Not daring to do otherwise, the deputy turned towards the boys with a smile plastered to his face. "Well, howdy, Bo. Howdy, Luke."

"What's goin' on?" Bo said conversationally.

"Uh, nothing!" Enos said quickly. "Gotta run!" And with that, he turned and ran off.

"What's with this town?" Bo questioned. "Suddenly, out of nowhere, we're outcasts!"

Well, as you can see, EVERYBODY's got it wrong, and ain't NOBODY got it right!

TBC probably by tomorrow!