I'm BAAAAAAAACCCCCCK! --sings hallelujah chorus-- Here it is, sorry it took so long... Y'all know the deal. :)

Xavier's Arrival

Sighing at the great feeling of being warmly sun-dried, Lou pulled her shirt on and buttoned it down across her belly's bulge. Everything just felt so much cleaner and lighter now, from the collar of her shirt down to her socks. She was still a little damp in places, her pants had grass stains and her hair was still dripping water down her back and across her shoulders, but that was alright.

"Lou, can't we at least settle on naming the baby Xavier Jesse or something like that?" About five feet away, Bo was sliding his shirt onto his shoulders, leaving it open at the moment so he could pull on his boots.

"Oh, I don't know," Lou replied, smiling. "I was really—"

An odd pain in her stomach stopped her. Frowning, she stopped mid-sentence.

Then for a moment, it relaxed.

The next time the pain hit, it was sharper. Reflexively, her hand went to the source of the pain and she doubled over as far as Xavier allowed.

Staring at his shoes, Bo didn't notice. But when Lou grunted, he slowly looked up.

"Lou?" he asked.

Sharper again, the pain came back.

"Oh, God," she bit out through clenched teeth as she realized what it had to be. "Oh, God, no."

"Lou," Bo repeated, cautiously walking towards her. "What is it?"

"You idiot, I'm almost nine months pregnant, and having abdominal pains." The stare she turned at him was strong enough that if it had been a laser, it would've melted him. "What do you think it is?"

"Oh my…" Bo breathed as his eyes went wide.

Hurrying before the next pain started, Lou ran around to the passenger's side of the General Lee and got in with severe difficulty. Bo was much quicker getting into the driver's seat.

"Get to the hospital!" Lou shouted.

Bo wasted no time getting going, speeding out onto the road in an instant. For once, Lou was glad that her baby's father was a speed-demon and former NASCAR racer. It just might save her and their son a lot of pain.

"Dangit, son, couldn't you have waited at least two days?" she groaned at her belly. "By then me and your Pa would've been married!"

Another pain started boiling through her, causing her to groan in agony.

"Lou," Bo said frantically, "just hold on. Just hold on!"

"Don't you tell me to hold on!" she shot back. "I'm having a baby here, Bo!" A thought occurred to her after the pain ended. "Call Jo and your family and have them get to the hospital. I need them there for this."

Shaky with adrenaline, Bo fumbled around for the CB and grabbed the pickup. "Th-this is Lost Sheep Number 2 calling Shepherd, Bo Peep, Lost Sheep Number 1 and Jo. You got your ears on? Come on back." It was plain for Lou to see that he was too worried to remember Jo's recently given CB handle.

However Lou's mind was oddly clear enough to remember that Jo was newly dubbed Little Miss Muffet and that she herself was now Mother Goose.

A moment of strained silence followed, and just as fidgety Bo was about to repeat his call, Daisy's voice came from the speaker.

"This is Bo Peep," she replied sweetly. "The gang's all here with me. What's up, Lost Sheep?"

"Well, Mother Goose is here with me," he said quickly, "and I think she's about to lay her egg!"

"Oh, no! Is she alright?"

As Bo went to reply, Lou failed to stifle a shriek that the pain caused, giving evidence to her family about just how she was doing at the moment.

"We're on our way to the hospital now," Bo added. "Meet us there."

"We're gone," Daisy assured.

"Uhhh," Lou moaned, "how far out are we?"

"Not very. Not very," Bo reassured her. "Just hold on, Lou. I know you're trying, but we have to make it to the hospital."

"'Cause you mid-wifing this baby in the middle of nowhere would be disaster," she agreed. "Oh, Xavier!"

As another pain hit, she wondered just when her water would break, and why it hadn't already.

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Bo was in a major panic mode. His fiancée was right beside him, having a baby!

But it looked to him like they'd make it to the hospital in time. Good. Disaster waited for them if they didn't make it in time. Disaster for Lou, disaster for the baby, and disaster second-hand for Bo…

But not a minute from their destination, Bo heard a familiar wailing siren behind him, demanding he stop. A glance into the mirror confirmed that Rosco P. Coltrane's squad car was on his trail.

Oh, not now! Bo silently pleaded. Rosco, not now, not now!

"Lou, we've got company."

Weary and worried gray eyes looked up into the mirror, also catching sight of the police car. "Just keep going," she replied gaspingly. "Let him tail us the whole way if he wants, just keep going."

Bo tried to wave to Rosco that he couldn't stop, but the idiotic lawman kept right on following.

When he skidded to a stop in front of the hospital, Bo was relieved to see Uncle Jesse's white pickup and Daisy's Jeep already sitting there. He sprang out of the car and dashed like crazy over to Lou's side.

Hooking his arms under hers, he dragged her out the window with her help, sliding her feet to the ground.

She was still gasping with the pain when Daisy and Jo came running over, helping Lou along. Luke and Uncle Jesse helped her along the way and Bo followed.

But it wasn't going to go that smoothly—not in Hazzard County.

The sheriff's car squeaked to a halt as the Duke family helped Lou along her first steps toward the hospital. Before they'd even gotten halfway to the door, Rosco was out and shouting.

"Freeze, Bo Duke!" he exclaimed.

Bo ignored him, still hurrying along with his family.

But when Rosco grabbed him by the upper arms from behind, he had no chance but to stop.

"Bo Duke, you're under arrest," the sheriff exclaimed. "For speeding, and having four outstanding speeding tickets. You'll have to come with me."

"But my fiancée's having a baby!" Bo strongly protested, gesturing to his still hurrying family, almost to the door. "Rosco, my son's about to be born!"

"Oh, tiddly-tuddly," the sheriff dismissed, dragging Bo along. "Just come with me." A handcuff slapped onto one of Bo's wrist, then the other. "You have the right to remain silent and all."

No matter how he tried, he couldn't get out of Rosco's grip as the lawman dragged him towards the police car's back seat.

"Lou!" he cried.

By then, Lou, Jo, Daisy and Uncle Jesse were going through the hospital door, Luke having stopped to watch the commotion with Rosco and Bo. Relief spilled into Bo that Lou was going to make it in the hands of capable doctors and nurses, but his anger, worry and frustration about not being able to be there when it happened dominated.

As Bo was forced into the back seat of the cop car, he saw the promise on Luke's face. A promise that he would do whatever possible to help Bo be there to see his son born.

And as he was forced behind bars, beating his fists angrily against them, there was only one thing Bo could say. "Lou!"

Cliffie! HAHAHA! Hope it inspires y'all to review... -wink, wink-