Sorry this took so long... too much school, not enough free time.

Jailbirds

Blowing out her breath in a huff, Lou stood uneasily with Jo gripping one of her hands and Daisy the other. She felt like she was about to topple over forward, having sat with her enormous weight balanced in her hospital bed for the past two hours. And on top of that, she wasn't feeling terribly great after the whole having her stomach pumped thing.

But she got her balance and walked slowly, happy to be moving.

At least little bouncing Xavier had finally stopped his crazy kicking fits.

"You alright, Betty-Lou?" Uncle Jesse asked from the doorway.

"Yes, sir," she answered, walking a little quicker to prove her point. "Let's go home."

With each step that carried her further and further down the corridor, she felt better and better. Each step got easier, and before she was even halfway down the first hallway towards the door, she shook off her guides.

The whole Duke clan—including the two not-yet-official members—made their way out of the hospital. They didn't even make it to their parked vehicles before a police car skidded to a stop in front of them, tires screeching loudly.

"Oh, no," Luke muttered.

But fat little Boss Hogg and his faithful follower were already bounding out of the car.

The Dukes didn't run, but sort of stood prouder and taller, standing a tad closer together for support.

"Well, hello, J. D.," Uncle Jesse said kindly. "What brings you out this way?"

"Have an appointment at the hospital, Boss?" Luke joked.

Oh, yes let's all act like we don't know why he's here, Lou thought sarcastically, fighting not to roll her eyes. Then maybe the little pesky pig'll go away for good. I can only dream!

"No," Boss retorted. "You know why I'm here."

"Oh?" Daisy asked. "And why's that?"

Because he's an annoying, persistent little jackass. Lou had to strain to keep her mouth shut, flattening her lips and gritting her teeth. She could just feel the itch to tell Boss Hogg just what she thought he was… And she didn't know how much longer she could resist the slowly building urge…

"To have these two boys arrested!" the fat man replied. "Rosco!" He gestured his loyal shadowing lawman forward.

"Bo Duke, you're under arrest for outstanding tickets and a jailbreak," Rosco said. "Luke Duke you're under arrest for aiding in the jailbreak of a criminal."

"Criminal?" Bo cried incredulously.

"Rosco, you know my boys ain't criminal!" Uncle Jesse added. "They're just good ol' country boys!"

"Oh, they ain't?" Boss input sarcastically, waving his cigar as he spoke. "They broke several laws. And that don't make them criminal?"

Lou couldn't keep completely quiet anymore. "No, it don't!" she said. "Especially when the speeding tickets that caused this all are probably not even fair to begin with. Hey, now that I think about it, since when has anything in J. D. Hogg's county ever been fair or legal anyway, you old polecat?" Her fists planted squarely on her hips as she pointedly glared at Boss.

"Who are you to be accusing?"

"Betty-Lou Johnson, that's who!" Lou shouted in the little man's face.

"Are you calling me dishonest?" The look on Boss Hogg's face was pure false innocence that couldn't have fooled anyone that had known the man for at least two seconds.

"Well, Boss—" Rosco started simply, cocking his head.

"Sssh!" said Boss quickly, gesturing with his hands for Rosco to shut it.

"As a matter of fact, I am," Lou grunted in reply to the original question. "I'm calling you flat-out illegal and so very, very dishonestly unfair!"

With her sister, fiancée and soon-to-be in-law's standing by watching with half-horror at what Lou was doing, half-relief that someone had finally said it to Boss's face, Lou should've been worried about their reactions—and about consequences. But she wasn't. She wasn't worried about what would come of this because she was just wrapped up in getting it out.

"In fact, I'm willing to bet that every single dishonest money-making scheme from here to Atlanta bears the mark of your little fat hand, Hogg!"

Betty-Lou Johnson was in no way a tall woman, but she had at least a few inches on Boss Hogg, and now in her fury, she had increased them severely.

And Boss stood looking as if he'd been slapped, but his cover never fell. "Well, I never saw such a nasty little lady so willing to make such horrible accusations!"

"Accusations!" Lou cried. "They're as every bit real as the ground we stand on!" She scoffed loudly. "You're so wrapped up in getting your hands on money and keeping the honest Dukes out of your dishonest business that you threw Bo in jail when his son was about to be born!"

Boss's eyes looked to Lou's bulky stomach. "Aren't you the one who's gonna have his baby? You still look mighty pregnant to me."

"I am!" Lou retorted. "But that's not the point, jackassin' polecat!"

Now Boss appeared really stung, and gasped in shock—with Rosco doing the same thing, of course.

Oh, quit the acting you little… Lou thought, teeth gritting angrily. You had better just quit it right now before I—

-+-+-+-

As the barred door swung shut in front of Lou's face, she gripped the bars until her knuckles turned white. "Putting me in a jail cell won't change my mind and it won't shut me up!" she insisted, yelling across the room as Boss and Rosco disappeared out of the room. "I know whatcha are and I'll keep declaring it until—"

"LOU!" Bo shouted from the cell next to hers. "Just shut-up!"

She spun to face him, letting go of the bars on the front of the cell to grab the ones between her cell and the one Bo currently shared with his cousin Luke. "Don't you be telling me to shut-up, Bo Duke!"

In response, Bo whirled around to face her, angrily staring down as he too gripped at the bars, looking as if he wanted to just rip them open. "You just won't quit, will you?"

"Boss needed to be told off, and you know it!"

"Oh, yes, we all know that calling Boss a jackass got you so far."

If at all possible, Lou's hands gripped the bars tighter, shaking with the fury she was putting into it. "At least I have the courage to tell him what I think!"

"Oh, no you just—"

"Hey!" Luke interrupted. "You guys just stop your fighting! Nothing you yell at each other is gonna make anything different, and it isn't gonna shut the other one up."

Almost instantly, the one thing that would probably shut Bo up popped into Lou's head, and she immediately decided to use it. Let her prove Luke Duke wrong right here and now.

"Bo Duke, I love you!" she shouted.

Both men looked at her with shocked looks on their face, then exchanged a glance as they opened and closed their mouths again and again like fish. Speechless. Both of them, for the first time since Lou had met them. Bo and Luke Duke, both speechless.

Alert the media, it's a worldwide phenomenon!

"You two fish have such a way with words, you know." Laughing, Lou sat herself down on her cell's little cot. The way she sat, she still stared at the two Dukes floundering for words, so very amused by their shock.

Bo finally, found his voice. "L-Lou? Did you really just say what I think you said?"

Throwing back her head, Lou laughed long and hard. "Yes, I did. But don't get your hopes up, buddy-boy. I was just looking for a way to prove you and your cousin wrong."

Both Dukes scoffed.

"Tease," Bo whispered out of Lou's range of hearing, dropping onto his own little cot.

"Lou, that was mean," Luke informed her matter-of-factly, staring at her with solemn blue eyes. "Just downright mean."

Rolling her eyes, she flipped her legs up onto the cot and laid down, curling her arm under her head (with still wet hair) in a mimic of a pillow. It was getting rather late…. "Well, don't mess with me then," she muttered. "I ain't exactly in a good mood. In a mean mood, I guess. 'Night from the big ol' meanie over here." And she closed her eyes to dream about a time where she might actually mean what she'd said.

-+-+-+-

"Bo, you alright?" Luke asked after it looked as though Lou had drifted off to sleep.

"Yes, I'm fine."

For a moment, Luke studied his cousin's face. "Well, you know it was wrong of Lou to say that. That was really mean."

"I'm fine, Luke. Drop it."

"Fine." Throwing up his hands in defeat, Luke leaned against the wall. Folding against his arms across his chest, he shook his head. "Whatever you say, Bo. Whatever you say."

More to come soon, hopefully...