A/N: Nope. ?

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Chapter Two- "Getting To Know You"…Smiling Faces & Hyrule, At Last

(1- Deja Vu)

We were done planting the seeds in all of thirty minutes. "'Kay, we're done!" I observed, cleverly.

"Nooo," Takakura replied, rolling his eyes. "You think?" He looked at me. "Hey, why don't you take that horse of yours for a ride? She's getting restless."

I looked over at Epona, who was kicking at the patch of grass beside her and whinnying, biting at the rope with her big white teeth. "Aww, I feel bad for her," I said, frowning. A little bit of a wind picked up from the ground.

"What a tragedy," Takakura replied, picking up the tools, the hoe and watering can we'd used. He dumped the water out on a patch of grass and flowers near the pasture fence. It started to get bitterly cold, the unperturbed but wintry coolness hovering over us like fog. The wind picked up again and sent leaves flying from trees. "What weather!" Takakura exclaimed. "Since when does the weather change that fast? How weird…"

"Yep," I answered. "Man! I'm hungry," I said, stretching out and yawning a little. I started to get a feeling- I don't know what. It felt spiteful and dark. The sky darkened a little to the east of us, but it stayed the same right above us.

"You wanna come to the bar with me?" Takakura offered in a grumble, coming out of the tool shed.

Then I started thinking that something wasn't right; I heard a shrill scream nearby. I was lucky I hadn't put away my sword in the house already; I unsheathed it from my left hip and held it up like a general. "Maybe later," I said.

"WHAT THE HELL?" He looked mortified. "What is that for!"

"Bye! C'mon, Navi!"

I ran out of the farm in the direction I heard the scream. As I headed out I noticed how cold it was getting, until I was standing directly in the intersection, with a cold shadow enveloping the area, blocking out the sun.

I saw a girl falling backwards, one leg going directly rearward and another falling to the knee, causing her to fall lopsidedly.

Above her was a floating figure, probably pulling some brainwashing trick on her. "Hey, get away from her!" I yelled, in my surprise.

The figure looked at me. I gasped. "Ganon? How did you-"

It laughed. "I am not Ganon, stupid boy." No, not Ganon. The laugh seemed a little squeaky to be Ganon…

I lunged at it with my sword above my head, which was a kind of stupid thing to do, because I bounced off it and hit a rock, my shield flying out of my grasp and spinning toward the Ganon-imitator on impact…haha… "Ow!"

It laughed again. "Mwa ha ha ha ha!"

"Man, he laughs cheesy," Navi said, trying to motivate me to get back up.

"Silence, you!" Even I couldn't help but laugh- it was such a cheesy cliché villain. "I am MARIONETTE GANON!" it said, irrelevantly, "DIE, YOU INSECT!"

Well, it was fake in its attitude, but definitely not in its strength. It stepped on my shield and instantly crushed it. I stared at the crushed, colorful pieces of the broken Hylian shield at "Marionette Ganon's" feet in mortification.

"Now, really, DIE!" It struck at me, and I fell---blank.

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(2- Kidnapped & Estranged)

I heard a tiny voice, squeaking, annoying as Hell.

"Link! Wake up! Link! Listen, you lazy fool!"

My head hurt even more now, and the vomit taste was stuck in the back of my throat. I felt like I had a bad hangover. I opened my eyes; my vision blurred for a minute and then became crystal clear. I looked around from where I was lying. A glowing ball of……I don't know what……, with purple, crystal wings, beating rapidly, was flying around. Too damn bright to be a firefly…It spun around the head of, wow, my luck, the new guy.

I sat up quietly, trying to remember where I was, and what had happened up until now. Oh. Right. That thing. But where the Hell was I now? I looked around. We were near a small spring of water. I checked my reflection- my luck had finally kicked in. I looked great, just a little messed up. I remembered that I'd thrown up a little before, and dug through my pockets for a Tic-Tac; I popped one in my mouth. Hey, bad breath is no turn-on for anyone.

The thing was still buzzing around the new guy, Link. "Link! Listen to me! You gotta wake up! C'mon, Link!"

"Hey, stupid!" I interrupted, slamming my fist on his chest, "Wake up! Your little friend wants you!"

Then I realized that his little friend was no ordinary little friend. "AHH!" I yelped, scrambling far away from it.

He woke up, honest-to-God gorgeous as ever. "Hmm?" He sat up. "What's wrong, Nav-" He looked directly at me, sitting near the spring. "Oh, is Navi what you're screaming about? Don't worry, she's harmless."

I frowned a little, not believing anything around me. "Whatever……"

"Navi is a fairy," he explained, his blonde eyebrows knit together in a scholarly manner, "That's why she follows me around. I used to be a Kokiri- you know what those are, right?- well, actually, I was raised as a Kokiri, so that's why she does what she does. She's like my guardian, sort of."

He was a little naïve in the aspect that he didn't know that I didn't know what the hell he was talking about. "What! You don't make any sense."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. What an idiot… "I'm a little new to this place." He confused me sometimes, because even though his voice was nice, he'd drift in and out of dialects. It was like when you watched German movies, where you could swear they were speaking English even when they weren't. Maybe he was German…no, how did that explain all of his excess weirdness?

I nodded. I leaned back on my hands, frowning, still, and trying to stay guarded. "So, what was that thing back there?" I asked, casually and coldly, gambling on the chance that he might know, "I mean, do you even know?"

He shook his head. "I wish I did. Hey, why are we here, anyway? I thought we were at the intersection! What is this place?"

I looked around again and shrugged. "Can you guess?" he asked. "It looks sort of familiar."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, let me just pull out my map of the world. Am I supposed to know?"

"I took you."

Link and I looked behind a tree near us. A guy was sitting behind it, leaning against the trunk. He had been playing a harp, but in the moment of silence could we hear it. The only things I could make out from the angle I was at were that he looked bandaged up and had dark, sandy blonde hair.

"Yeah? And who are you?" I asked, skeptically.

"Sheik," he answered, simply. Everything he said sounded vague…not like a lie, but like a secret. "Of the Sheikah tribe. And you are?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Karen. Of the Vineyard."

"How come you were silent up until now?" Link asked.

Sheik paused, as if trying to look for a reason. "I was only listening to your conversation."

"Oh," Link said. "What was that thing back there?" Sheik and Link obviously knew each other, if not very well.

"That was Marionette Ganon," Sheik answered, with a to-die-for perfect French on the Marionette. "He is a puppet form of Ganon. From what I know, he's being manipulated by a diligent follower of Ganon. Someone he can trust, I'd presume."

"So that means that follower's in this village?" Link asked.

"Most likely. But that means blood," he said, his words faltering a bit.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!" I screamed. Secrets- tch. Overrated; I hate not knowing what's going on. A couple of birds flew away hastily from a thin tree. Link laughed, but Sheik looked at me over his shoulder, partly leering and partly confused.

"Who are you, by the way?" Sheik asked.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!" I exclaimed.

"Okay, calm down, you two," Link said, consolingly.

"Yeah, really," the "fairy" said, "For once I agree with the walking clothing article."

Sheik looked daggers at her. He then paused. "I think we'll have to take some sort of action…brainwash her, perhaps."

"WHAT!" I yelled, standing up.

"Hey! Let's all just stop arguing," said Link with a nervous laugh.

"It's our only option," Sheik answered.

"Maybe if we can just shut her up…" Navi buzzed.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, walking away a little. "I can make it home on my own, thanks. I'll just go."

Link ran after me, holding me back by the shoulders. "Lemme go!"

"You can't go home!" Link said.

"What! You asshole! Let me go!" I exclaimed, struggling from his iron grip. "You pig!"

"You can't," Sheik answered, calm. "We're somewhere completely different. If you would sit down and rest your mouth you would know where we are."

I stopped struggling for a minute. Well, it didn't look too far away from home. I pushed Link off me and sat down, patiently. "Fine."

"Thank-you," Sheik sighed, sounding relieved. "You've heard of travel? Between dimensions, galaxies, time periods?"

"OH THIS IS BULLSHIT!" I yelled, getting up. "Hey- stop fucking with me. I'm serious! Where the Hell are we!"

"If you would listen," Sheik said, again.

"I'm trying to," I snapped, "but someone's a little high on the Trekkie plane."

"It's true!" Link added, cheery.

I looked over at him. Come to think of it, they didn't talk regular, or look regular. Maybe…that was fucking crazy. When the Hell did anything like that ever happen? It defied science and religion and all sorts of natural laws. "Alright," I huffed. "No bullshit this time. Tell it like it is."

So they told me.

Apparently, Link was some sort of "Hero" of time and whatever, with the "Master Sword." And, apparently, we were in "Hyrule."

They told me what was going on from the time Link first took the Master Sword, to the time when Sheik and Link first met (in which Link was particularly elaborate), to Link's journey up until now.

Of course, it was a big load of bull- but they were hot! So I went along with it.

"You probably don't believe us," Link said, a little sadly. "Here's my Triforce mark!" He showed me the collection of three triangles forming a major triangle on his left hand. I nodded, but I still didn't believe it. "Hey, Sheik! Why don't you disappear?"

I laughed. "Okay, then, Link, I think you're going a little too far."

Link sat down, cross-legged like I had done when I was in kindergarten. He was sort of funny in that way- he acted like such a damned baby. He thought for a while, but then his face lit up. "Hey! I've got an idea! Why don't I play a warp song for you!"

"Link," Sheik warned, "I don't believe that that is a very smart thing to do-"

"Nonsense!" Link exclaimed, happy that he'd just figured out a way to make me believe this Hyrule mumbo jumbo. He grabbed Sheik and I by the hand.

"Hey! Cut it out!" I exclaimed, trying to struggle off him.

"Don't struggle," Shek advised, rolling his eyes a little, "It worsens the pain. Hold on to me, if you like." I did, but kept an eye open- the pervert might try something, and if that was the case, he was going down.

Link something he later called "The Bolero of Fire." It sounded Spanish, but I didn't say anything- in a second we were lifted into the air, surrounded by this red ring of light or something, and transferred to a hot place.

I raised an eyebrow and coughed. I covered my nose- damnit, it smelled like…sulfur…and…fire? "Hmm," I said, "Something smells fiery."

"Run out!" Link cried.

"That wasn't the most intelligent decision, was it?" Sheik asked. "This way!"

Link picked me up and I blushed. "Uhmm…" We followed Sheik, when we came to a break in the dark basaltic (whatever it was) rock. It opened to a large pit. I almost fainted when I saw boiling, hot, dangerous magma stewing beneath us. I tried to struggle off Link, pounding my fists on his shoulders. "Lemme go! Damnit!"

"Ouch! Stop!" Link protested.

"You'll have to jump!" Sheik called from the other side of the break. "There's not enough time for Karen for you to use the hookshot!"

I had inhaled a lot of smoke and was coughing like crazy. "You…are not…taking me…across…that pit!" But it was too late. Link backed up, and then charged forward; I felt an actual breeze as he jumped long and far. I winced, shutting my eyes and preparing for the absolute worst. We landed safely on the other side.

"Hurry!"

Easy for Sheik to say.

>>

When we returned to Flower Bud Village, it was around four in the morning… "It's been an exciting day, huh?" Link asked. I didn't know who he was asking.

"Yes," Sheik replied. "It has been…"

"So, I guess I'll see you again some time," Link said to him. I was still being carried.

"Perhaps," Sheik said. I could tell by the folds in his face mask that he was smiling. He suddenly became all formal again. "I'll be counting on you to keep this a secret, Karen. It was nice to meet you." I was pretending to sleep. "I'll be seeing you again…"

And then he was gone, just like that. Link smiled lopsidedly at me. "I knew you weren't asleep," he said, a little teasingly. "How did you like today?"

I rubbed my eye. "It was…nice, I guess. Just a little tiring."

"What was your favorite part?" Link asked. "I personally liked all of it."

I thought a little- in a flash some normal part of me had vanished into this side-of-good-helping, secret-knowing "hero." I'd traveled longer and harder than Charles Lindbergh ever did and knew things that most people couldn't find out in a fucking lifetime. Link looked at me with those cerulean blues and I swore that it fulfilled any six-year-old girl's fantasies, and I felt a little loved for the first time in a long time. Not a family's love, or even a friend's love- a different kind. Hyrule was amazing. And Link's accent got a little better, too. "I guess I agree."

"Well, maybe we'll be able to go again," Link smiled. "But we won't start in the same place." He grinned a wide, cheesy grin.

"The stars are nice," I whispered to myself. "You can, uh, let me down, uh, here…uhmm, yeah, I'm sleeping over Ann's today…"

"I'll see you later," he said, smiling.

"Yeah……" He left; Navi drifted off with him.

"Hey!" I turned around. Ann was calling me, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders like a poncho. "I was getting worried! Where on earth were you? You were supposed to be here at 10:30!"

"What time is it now?"

She sighed impatiently. "Four 'o' clock in the morning! Now, where were you!"

"Well, I was attacked by Marionette Ganon, who is a form of Ganon, who's attacking the village. After that, a guy named Sheik saved me and Link. Then we went to Hyrule, but we ended up in a mountain crater. We got out just in time, though, so we went all over Hyrule. You know, Ganon's gonna take over this town, soon, and Link is going to save it, since he's the Hero of Time. So I think that's it. Wanna get some cocoa?"

Maybe not. I was sworn to secrecy, and plus, she wouldn't have believed me, anyway. "My mom was giving me a hard time…"

Ann smiled. "Hey, you sound sad. Cheer up! Now you have an excuse to stay over for two days!"

I nodded. I wished this day would never end…

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(3- "The Farm," Agony Implied)

When I got home, I threw myself on the bed. "It's been tiring, huh?" I asked Navi with a tired smile.

"You were so into Karen," Navi replied. Which had no relation whatsoever to my question.

"Hey, for once you're not cracking jokes about me and Sheik," I said. I lied on the pillows and waited for her comeback.

"That brings me to another point," Navi said, "When are you and him getting married? I mean, you've probably already done-"

I threw a pillow at her. "You've got a sick mind, Navi! I don't wanna hear you say anything!" Navi cackled wretchedly.

"Well, goodnight, Navi." I plopped my head on the pillow and almost fell asleep.

Until Takakura barged in not a minute later. "Wake up! Time for work!"

"Wake up?" I grumbled. "How can I when I never fell asleep…?"

"This is a farm, you shithead," Takakura explained, "you're supposed to be up early."

"It's four A.M.!" I cried. But it was no use. Takakura forced me to do farm chores.

"So," he said, the morning mist hanging light in the air, standing there, relaxing, while I pushed Malon out the barn door ALONE, "where were you last night?"

I tried my hardest to put a straight face on, but it was just too hard. I turned to the cow and started to brush it. It mooed happily. "I was, uh, I...heard someone scream, and it turned out that they were stuck under a bush, so I cut through it with my sword. After that, I had to take them back, and they thanked me, and then I had to walk a long way back."

"And all of that took you, let's see……10 hours?" Takakura asked.

Well…he had me there…I swallowed hard, and thought of an excuse for why it took me ten hours. "I went to the bar afterwards…?

"Oh, well, no harm done," he said. Obviously, the bar was a good excuse for coming home late in this town. He led me into the barn, where Malon was laying down, blinking at us peacefully (and rather cutely) and eating. He stood next to her and folded his arms, gesturing his head towards her. "Okay, I'm gonna show you how to milk a cow. I don't have a milking machine, so you'll have to milk it yourself. Now, grab the udder, and- NO, WHAT THE HELL! Gently, idiot!" He was very impatient…

By the time we were done, I had a bruised shoulder, milk was all over the place, hay was flying around every corner, and my hair was doused. "That was fun!" I said with a cheerful smile.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Takakura screamed. He liked yelling at me for some reason…had I done anything wrong?

"Hehe." I stretched my arms above my head and groaned a little (more like sighed, maybe). "Well, I'm gonna go to the nearby Ranch. See ya!"

"And come back with a chicken, you hear!" he called after me. He shook himself off. "Good for nothing…"

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A/N: If anyone gets the chance, or is even reading this, look up Asturd Gilberto and buy one of her CDs. It's knockout music all the way.