Rating: R

Genres: Romance, Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff

Warnings: Mpreg

Spoilers: books 1-5

Summary: Severus cheats on Harry with Lucius and winds up pregnant. Will Harry accept him and the baby, or will Severus's unfaithfulness tear them apart forever?

Song: Breathing

Artist: Yellowcard

Author's Note: Originally a songfic, the lyrics have been removed from this fic to comply with FF rules. Song lyrics can be found here: www (dot) azlyrics (dot) com (slash) lyrics (slash) yellowcard (slash) breathing (dot) html

For the original version of this fic, please check out my livejournal:

www (dot) livejournal (dot) com (slash) users (slash) Harry (underscore) sev (slash)


xxx

Severus Snape tossed and turned, trying to get to sleep. It was no use. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get to sleep. He felt the body next to him roll over. Harry was trying to curl up around him. Severus knew this and turned away, guilt filling his chest.

xxx

What had made him do it? Sure, Lucius had been his idol when he was in school, but that was years ago. Severus should have known not to risk his relationship with Harry for a one night stand with the former Slytherin. But Lucius had been so seductive, and before Severus knew what he was doing, he found himself being forcefully taken by the blond. While the experience was pleasurable, it wasn't as great as Severus had thought it would be.

Two weeks later Severus found out he was pregnant, and he wasn't sure if the father was Harry or Severus. He wanted with all his heart for it to be Harry's, but there was always the possibility that it was Lucius's. Severus smacked himself in the head. Why did he get himself into this?


xxx

The uncertainty was killing him. Severus needed to know which man had fathered his child before he decided what to do. The next morning while Harry was at work, Severus spent hours making a Paternity Potion. Thankfully he was a potions master because this potion was particularly difficult to make. After letting it sit for an hour, Severus poured it into a cup and swallowed it. After a moment, a faint silver light appeared in front of him, revealing a name. Severus felt his heart sink. The light spelled out "Lucius Malfoy."

xxx

Knowing that he still had a few hours before Harry got home, Severus decided to talk to Lucius. He didn't really think that the man would want the child, but Severus still felt it was his duty to tell him. Sure enough, not a minute after Severus told Lucius about the child did Lucius start ranting about how he didn't want anything to do with Severus or the child. Lucius swore that if anyone ever found out who the second father was, Lucius would kill both the child and Severus. Severus didn't need telling twice. He left the house with a heavy heart.

xxx

Severus waited a few days before talking to Harry. He had been more closed off than usual and decided that Harry finally deserved to know the truth. Taking a deep breath, Severus decided to just get it all over with at once.

"I'm pregnant with Lucius Malfoy's baby."

Harry stared at him for a moment, the shock in his eyes quickly replaced with hurt. Taking a shaky breath, Harry looked at the man he loved and tried to stop the tears from falling. Severus waited, unsure of what to do.

"Why wasn't I enough?"

Severus hadn't been prepared for that question. He had been prepared for the hurt and the anger, but not that question. How could he answer that? How could he tell Harry that he had ruined their relationship because the man who had filled his fantasies all throughout school had suddenly asked him for a friendly fuck?

Severus's lack of response caused Harry's tears to finally fall free. He couldn't do this right now. Not saying a word to Severus, Harry got up and left. All of his stuff was still in the house, but he didn't care. He just had to get away from Severus.

xxx

That night Severus cried. He hadn't cried since his mother had died when he was thirteen, but how Severus felt like crying. He realized his mistake too late: he couldn't live without Harry. Feeling an incredible emotional breakdown wash over him, Severus decided he had had enough. Storming over to his bookshelf, he grabbed the nearest book and started flipping through the pages. Finally he found what he was looking for: the potion that would get rid of his unborn child.

Severus stayed up all night making the potion. He didn't really know why he was doing this. All he knew was that this baby had cost him his love, cost him his Harry. Severus wouldn't be able to deal with the constant reminder of how he had ruined his life. He couldn't do it.

It was nearly noon the next day when the potion was finished. Severus was about to drink it when he heard a knock on the door. Severus was tempted to drink the potion first, but since he didn't know the immediate side effects the potion might have, he decided against it. Cursing whoever was at the door, Severus flung it open, his mouth already open to jinx the person at the door. Instead, his jaw dropped open as the stared at his visitor in shock: Harry.


xxx

"Why are you here?" Severus asked breathlessly. He regretted the question when he saw Harry flinch. "Do you want to come in?"

Harry hesitated, then nodded. He followed Severus into what just last night had been his house. They both stood nervously in the entrance way.

"Are you moving in with Lucius?" asked Harry brokenly.

Severus nearly cried when he heard the defeated tone in Harry's voice. He quickly shook his head no. "I don't have anything to do with him anymore, Harry. I promise." Severus paused for a moment to collect himself. "I'm so sorry, Harry. I can't give you a good reason why I did what I did. I can only tell you how much I regret what I did. I'd take it all back if I could. You mean the world to me. Stay with me, and I'll make it up to you, I swear. Give me one more chance."

Harry looked into the pleading eyes of the man he loved. Severus had hurt him, but Harry still loved him. He didn't think he could ever stop loving Severus. Not wanting to answer yet, Harry looked around the room. His eyes fell on the potion Severus had been about to drink.

"What is that?" he asked. Severus followed his gaze and paled.

"I was planning on getting rid of the child," he said honestly. Harry looked stricken.

"You can't do that!" he protested. "The baby didn't do anything wrong! I won't let you kill it!"

"You have to be born before you can die," argued Severus. Harry scowled at him.

"You know damn well what I mean, Severus Snape. And if you think that I'll stay with a man that would just give up his child, you are sorely mistaken."

"Does that mean that you'll stay with me if I keep the baby?" asked Severus incredulously, hope beginning to gather.

Harry looked at Severus seriously. "Yes."


xxx

A little over eight months later found Harry and Severus in the hospital wing. Severus held the little pink bundle close to him. Harry leaned over to get a closer look at the little baby with jet-black hair and a slightly crooked nose.

"She's beautiful," Harry breathed, gently taking her from Severus. He rubbed his finger against her small cheek. "She looks just like you."

Harry placed a kiss to the baby's head before handing her back to Severus. Then Harry kissed Severus. Pulling back, he looked deep into the obsidian eyes and smiled.

"I love you."

"I love you, too," Severus whispered, kissing Harry again over their daughter's head. "I'll never hurt you again. I promise."

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