Rating: PG-13
Genres: Romance, Angst, Fluff
Warnings: OOC-ness
Spoilers: n/a
Summary: Severus thinks about his life with Harry and how lucky he is to have Harry in his life.
Song: Everything
Artist: Alanis Morissette
Author's Note: Originally a songfic, the lyrics have been removed from this fic to comply with FF rules. Song lyrics can be found here: www (dot) azlyrics (dot) com (slash) lyrics (slash) alanismorissette (slash) everything (dot) html
For the original version of this fic, please check out my livejournal:
www (dot) livejournal (dot) com (slash) users (slash) Harry (underscore) sev (slash)
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Harry Potter looked at his lover of ten months and sighed. No matter what he did, nothing seemed to convince Severus to open up. Harry had told Severus everything. He told Severus his hopes, dreams, fears, and desires. Severus hadn't told him anything in return. Harry was almost positive that Severus loved him in return, but his insecurities kept him from flat-out admitting his feelings. He was afraid that he'd be wrong and that Severus would reject him.
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Harry sat in his chair in front of the fire thinking about Severus. The man had lived through so much. He had joined the Death Eaters foolishly thinking that he would gain some respect. Then he become a spy, risking his own life to atone for the mistake he had made when he was younger. Harry didn't think he had ever met a braver person in his entire life. He snuck a quick glance at his lover. The man was leaning over his desk grading papers. Harry could see the older man's quill skating over the parchment, no doubt covering the thing with red marks. Harry smiled and looked into the fire.
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Severus paused in his grading when he felt Harry's gaze return to the fire. He thought about their relationship. Harry was so young and beautiful. He had never been with anyone before Severus. Well, that's what he had said at least, but Severus knew that Harry wouldn't lie to him.
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The young man was perfect in Severus's mind, too perfect. Severus knew that Harry deserved someone so much better than him, which was why Severus found opening up hard to do. He was sure that eventually Harry would realize that he deserved better and leave, and Severus wanted to make sure that his dignity would still be there when Harry did.
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Severus sighed. He could see the sad look in Harry's eyes, and he hated himself for putting it there. He decided that his dignity wasn't as important to him as Harry was. So what if Harry left him one day? At least Severus would have the memories to live with, and he wanted those memories to be as happy as possible.
Making up his mind, Severus got up from his seat and walked over to where Harry was sitting one the couch. He knelt down beside his lover and took Harry's hands in his own. Harry looked at him, surprise, hope, and fear all mixed in his eyes. Severus took a deep breath and decided to get out everything he had to say before he changed his mind.
"I love you."
Harry looked shocked, and his eyes filled with tears. Severus didn't miss the joyous look in those eyes, and he was goaded to continue what he knew he had to say.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything before. I was scared that you would change your mind about being with me. You're so beautiful...you deserve someone so much better than me."
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"There is no one better than you," Harry whispered, leaning forward to wrap his arms around Severus. Then he pressed his lips gently against Severus's, smiling as he pulled back and saw the happiness on Severus's face.
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"I love you, too," Harry said, resting his head on Severus's shoulder. Severus shifted so that the two of them could lay down on the couch. Then Severus wrapped his arms around Harry, pulling the younger man up against his chest. Harry never felt more loved than he did at that moment. He had also never felt safer.
As Severus listened to Harry's deep breathing, he marveled yet again at how someone so beautiful could be in love with him. Smiling, Severus pulled Harry closer and fell asleep.