DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own Lizzie McGuire, but she's not actually born yet at the time of this story, anyway.

"So how was your first day of school?", asked Sam's mother the moment he walked in the door.

"So-so," said Sam. "Some of the classes look interesting, the cafeteria food wasn't quite as disgusting as in middle school, and I met another kid who actually owns a real computer; I think I'm going to visit him sometime to see it. But on the other hand, some kid tried to sell me an elevator pass, but I know that's a scam – what do they think I am, stupid? Also, I never managed to find the locker they assigned me; I had to carry all my books with me all day. I think my locker may be in one of those hallways that the upperclassmen claim are off limits to freshmen; tomorrow I'll have to try to sneak in there when nobody is looking. There was this one really mean kid I ran into who I hope I can keep away from."

"Did you meet any girls?", said his mother.

"Mom… one day of high school and you're expecting me to be going steady or something? You know my experiences with girls have been… well, they don't make me all that eager to try meeting another one. At school, girls can be even meaner than the boys. And the boys are at least sometimes interested in things I might actually care about, like baseball, but the girls seem to talk about nothing but the silliest subjects… it's always clothes, makeup, the endless meaningless gossip about who's dating who and who just broke up with who… and their silly crushes on emptyheaded celebrities, like David Cassidy or whoever is the big teen idol for them now… I'm probably a few years behind on that because I don't read those stupid magazines they do."

"You're not being fair," said his mother. "Not all girls are the same. I wasn't like all the other girls, and I met your father, who wasn't like all the other boys. When the right people come together, they just know it."

"What were the two of you like back then? I kind of have trouble imagining my parents as teenagers like me. Somehow I think of them as being… old… permanently!", said Sam.

"Old?", said his mother. "I'm not old, even now! I'm only 36 years old!"

"Hey, anything over sixteen still sounds old to me," said Sam.

"But, anyway, your dad was a shy farm boy, who lived a mile from the next house and hardly ever met anybody, and I was the daughter of the general store owner in town… when I was your age, I was working behind the counter in the store, and your dad would come in with his dad to get supplies once a week. Somehow we became friends, and then more than friends… and we married right after high school graduation. Now, I don't think you ought to be marrying that early, even when you find the right girl… people in my day rushed into things way too much. But I do know that the right girl for you will come along sooner or later."

All mothers are pretty much alike on this; Jo's mom also asked, "How was your first day of school?" when she arrived home.

"Pretty good, I guess," said Jo. "Coco Newbury was still mean to me, but I expected that. Other than that, nobody did anything bad to me, though I did keep running into geeks and nerds… I don't want to wind up surrounded by them, because that won't be good for my social position."

"Don't be too judgemental," said her mother. "Just because people think of somebody as a… what are those words you use these days? 'geek' or 'nerd', doesn't make them bad people. If I had listened to all the nasty insults other people said, I'd never have gotten together with your father, and where would you be now? He was an immigrant; he came with his parents from Poland during the war. When I first met him, his English wasn't even very good; I helped teach him to speak better. Everybody else just called him a weird foreigner and didn't want to have anything to do with him, but I saw what a good man he really is. Nobody wanted me to marry him; not my friends, not my parents… it didn't help that he's so much younger than me, too… everybody expects men to marry younger women, instead of the other way around. But our marriage worked."

"Worked? But he threatens to leave about once a year," said Jo.

"Oh, that's just his way of showing his independence; he never goes through with it. We still love one another, and some day you'll find the right one for you, too… and maybe it'll be one of the boys you call… what was it? 'neeks'?"

"Geeks, or nerds," said Jo. "But I'm still not sure that's the sort of crowd I want to hang out with."

"You'll find the 'crowd' that's right for you… or it'll find you. Now, did anything else interesting happen in school?"

"Well, one of the nerds… I mean, one of the boys in school showed me his digital watch; interesting gadget. And I found a commemorative Bicentennial quarter in my change at lunch; I didn't know the mint was making them. And I had lunch with Ellen and Sue, who had interesting stories about their summer camp. But I've got one problem; I never could find my locker. They gave me a slip with the locker number, and I looked all over all of the hallways, and just couldn't find it. I'm sure I checked all the halls… well, except for the ones that they say are off limits to the freshmen. Now, could they have given me a locker in one of the halls that I'm not supposed to go into? That would be silly, wouldn't it?"

"I'm sure you'll find your locker tomorrow. Now, go wash up for dinner; your dad will be home soon."