Spencer wished that she didn't have to explain why she was home so early from her date, but her mother had cornered her in the kitchen.
"Did something happen between you two tonight?" Paula asked. Spencer sighed, wishing she could just push past her nosy mother and get to her room. There she'd be safe.
"No, nothing happened. Aiden just didn't feel well. So he took me home." Spencer murmured, not maintaining eye contact with her mother.
"I don't believe you." Her mother said accusingly. Spencer was going to lose it in a second if she didn't get out of there.
"Fine, mom. The truth?" Spencer buckled. She had been ready to tell her mother she liked Ashley and to go to hell if she didn't like it, but suddenly her courage left her. "That is the truth."
"Fine." Paula said, looking over her daughter. Spencer finally sighed and got to leave to go to her room. Once she got into her room, she collapsed down on her bed. The night had been a disaster. Aiden was hurt that Spencer had used him. Spencer deserved all the guilt she felt. She turned over on her bed and closed her eyes. She just felt sick: sick of herself, sick of lying, sick of hiding, sick of being without Ashley.
Ashley spent most of the night listening to the mixes Spencer had made her (she decided on keeping them) and pondering how to go about the situation she now found herself in. Spencer liked her back, for sure this time. The thought of Spencer moaning out Ashley's name while being with Aiden sent Ashley shivers down her spine. She couldn't sleep; she just listened to the songs and thought about what to do. Her first thought was to go up to Spencer, take her into the arms, cover her with passionate kisses, and spend the rest of the day in bed. Her next thought involved getting Spencer alone in a bathroom stall…Ashley snapped out of her reverie and took a deep breath. She had to stop thinking those thoughts for now—they were driving her crazy. She got up and lay down in her bed. She had exactly two hours before school started. She could take a brief nap and make it to class in time. Ashley played the image she created of Spencer moaning her name in her head a couple more times before slipping into sleep.
Spencer leaned up against Ashley's locker, looking around for her the next day at school. She hadn't seen Ashley first period or before school. Where was she? The day Spencer actually went looking for her, with the intention of explaining her situation to Ashley and how much she cared about her-- Ashley was not there. Spencer saw Clay down a ways in the hallway walking towards her.
"Hey Clay." She said. "Have you seen Ashley?"
"No, not today. I did talk to her for a while a week or two ago." Clay told her.
"Really?" Spencer asked. "Hmm…Ashley didn't mention that to me. What did you guys talk about?" Clay shrugged.
"If she didn't come up and talk to you about it, then I shouldn't be the one to tell you. You need to talk to Ashley about that." Clay patted Spencer on the shoulder. "I got to go, I'm supposed to meet Chelsea for lunch." Spencer was puzzled. Why would Ashley confide in Clay and not her? That didn't make any sense. But Ashley wasn't here to ask. Ashley's at home, getting over me, Spencer lamented. If only I could have five minutes, I could tell her that I'm sick of this distance and separation. Spencer realized that she had to make a decision then: stay at school and risk Ashley spending the day getting over her…or skip and finally tell the truth.
"Madison, I got some plans for us tonight. It's going to be amazing…" Glen was whispering into Madison's ear. Spencer approached him from down the hallway.
"Glen, I need to borrow the car." Spencer said out of breath. Glen laughed at her.
"There's no way I'm letting you have the car, Spencer. Mom and Dad would kill me." He told her. Spencer was running out of options.
"Please, Glen. I need it." Spencer pleaded.
"Why?" He asked, putting his arm around Madison who was giving Spencer a dirty look. Spencer was getting more and more desperate.
"I have to go somewhere. Just trust me." She held out her hand. "You can get a ride home with Madison and Clay can get a ride from Sean." Glen looked as though he was thinking it over when Madison piped up.
"Don't do it, Glen. She's probably going to see her girlfriend." Madison scoffed.
"Ashley is not my girlfriend." Spencer retorted. "But I do have to go see her."
"So she can become your girlfriend…" Madison laughed. Spencer tried to ignore Madison's cutting remarks.
"Please, Glen. Just this once." Spencer pleaded.
"Are you really going to get Ashley?" Glen asked. Spencer knew the thought of two girls together had captured his attention.
"Yes. That's exactly the reason. I've been dating Aiden because I'm gay and I didn't want to be out yet. Now I have to go find Ashley to tell her the truth about everything. There you go." Spencer said angrily. Madison and Glen were left speechless.
"What?" Glen pulled Spencer to him. "Are you serious?"
"Yes I am serious." Spencer was nearly crying now and she didn't care who saw her. She had to get to Ashley and make up for all the mistakes she'd made. She had to go see her and go tell her how much she mattered to her.
"Oh wow." Glen was clearly taken aback. Madison just gave Spencer a disgusted look.
"I knew she was gay." Madison said aloud for everyone to hear. Spencer put her hands in Glen's.
"I'm sorry you had to find out like this, but I've screwed up a lot. I have to go make things better." She whispered to Glen. He nodded and handed her the car keys. He watched Spencer run off the parking lot.
"What a dyke." Madison commented. Glen turned to her.
"That's my sister. Don't call her that." He said, putting a commanding hand on Madison's wrist. "It took guts to say what she said. If you want me, you're going to have to shut up about her." He turned and walked away, leaving Madison speechless.