Rating: PG-13
Genres: Romance, Angst
Warnings: n/a
Spoilers: n/a
Summary: Severus tries to lower Harry's self-esteem so that Harry will stay with him. Not the most conventional way to keep a lover.
Song: Pretend to be Nice
Artist: Josie and the Pussycats Soundtrack
Author's Note: Originally a songfic, the lyrics have been removed from this fic to comply with FF rules. Song lyrics can be found here: www (dot) stlyrics (dot) com (slash) lyrics (slash) josieandthepussycats (slash) pretendtobenice (dot) htm
For the original version of this fic, please check out my livejournal:
www (dot) livejournal (dot) com (slash) users (slash) Harry (underscore) sev (slash)
xxx
Harry and Severus had been dating for over a year, and at first everything seemed wonderful. Severus didn't open up very much, but Harry could tell that the man was trying, so he was happy. Then Severus started to insult him. The first thing he insulted was Harry's hair.
"Doesn't that mop of a head of yours every lie flat?"
Then he insulted Harry's clothes.
"Honestly, your parents left you plenty of money. Can't you buy anything decent?"
xxx.
Then he insulted Harry's intelligence. In short, nothing Harry did ever seemed to be good enough for Severus. At first he had gotten mad, but eventually he started to believe that Severus was right. Maybe he was stupid.
xxx
What hurt Harry the most was what Severus did when they were in public. Severus would constantly walk ahead of him while shopping, as if determined to prove that he wasn't with Harry. Whenever there was some ball or something that they were supposed to go to, Severus would leave before Harry and not speak to him. Harry once tried talking to Severus in public. Severus referred to him as "Mr. Potter" and acted like Harry was bothering him. Harry hadn't tried that again.
xxx
As time wore on, Harry tried to think of what he had done that had caused Severus to be so ashamed of him. After all, there was no doubting that Severus was ashamed of him. Why else would he always ignore Harry in public? Harry constantly beat himself up for things that he must have done wrong. He tried really hard to keep his hair under control and his robes nice and clean. He read as much as he could in order to try to improve his vocabulary. He wanted so much for Severus to be proud of him.
xxx
Severus watched as Harry became more and more depressed. He watched the young man try so hard to look and sound professional. Harry was in so much pain, which in turn caused Severus pain. He hadn't meant to hurt Harry. He was just so afraid that Harry would realize how much better he deserved and leave him. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Severus was afraid, and when he was afraid he didn't act rationally.
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Severus decided to leave for a week. He didn't tell Harry where he was going or why he left. He needed time to think about his relationship with Harry. Severus knew that he was in love with Harry, but he also knew that Harry deserved so much better. Harry deserved someone who would treat him kindly, someone who would show him what a beautiful and amazing person he was. Severus knew that soon someone would show Harry that kindness, and then Harry would leave him. Severus couldn't have that. But he also couldn't have Harry be in pain. That meant there was only one thing he could do. He would have to try to show Harry how much he meant to Severus.
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When Severus got home he found Harry asleep in their bed. He looked so...sad. Sighing, Severus quickly changed into his night clothes and slipped into bed next to Harry. They usually slept on separate sides of the bed because Severus was too insecure to ask to be held.
But tonight was different. Tonight was the first night that Severus tried to be a better man. Taking a deep breath, Severus scooted closer to Harry and pull the younger man to his chest. He pressed a gentle kiss to Harry's head, leaned close to his love's ear, and whispered, "I love you." Then he pulled Harry even closer and fell asleep.
xxx
Harry opened his eyes and smiled. He had been awake when Severus came in, but he had been afraid of what Severus might say, so he pretended to be asleep. Now he was happy that he had pretended to be asleep. Severus loved him! Harry snuggled closer to Severus and fell into the first peaceful sleep he had had in a long time.
A/n: I'm not sure what I think of Severus in this fic. I want to smack him for being an ass, and yet at the same time I feel sorry for him. What do you all think?