DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters here that I didn't make up myself. I don't own Lizzie McGuire, but she's not actually born yet at the time of this story, anyway.

"My my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender
Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way
The history book on the shelf
Is always repeating itself…"

An ABBA song blasted from the loudspeakers, and Sam, Jo, Eddie, and Daniella skated around the ring in time to the music.

"…Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo - promise to love you for ever more
Waterloo - couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo - knowing my fate is to be with you..."

"How are you enjoying this so far?", asked Jo.

"Well, my musical preference is usually more to classic rock than this disco stuff," said Sam, "but I have to admit that, when it comes to picking music to dance, or skate, to, this works out pretty good."

"You're doing pretty well," said Jo. "You've shown some good moves."

"I was so afraid I'd do something klutzy and embarrass myself," said Sam, "but so far I haven't. It really surprised me."

As if saying this had just jinxed him, Sam suddenly slipped on his skates, and rocketed completely out of control down the middle of the skating ring. He finally came to a hard stop when he hit something… or, actually, somebody. He had run right into Steve Sanders!

"You again," exclaimed Steve. "What was your name… oh, that's right… 'Egg McMuffin'." His girlfriend giggled.

"It's 'Sam McGuire', and you know it," said Sam, picking himself up.

"Oh, I was close enough," said Steve. "And just because some of your freshman buddies managed to talk my friends into being a little more generous in how we interpret the entirely fair and reasonable freshman rules, that doesn't mean that you can always do whatever damn-fool thing you want without consequences."

"Uhhh, it was an accident," said Sam, who actually suffered a worse impact himself than he inflicted on Steve; stars were still going through his head. "I'm sorry."

"You've always been sorry," said Steve, "…a sorry excuse for a human being, I mean. Now we've got to figure out what the appropriate punishment is for this misbehavior."

Jo stepped in. "He said he was sorry… it's clearly an accident; he didn't even see you before he crashed into you. He wasn't doing it on purpose. It's not fair for you to punish him. Look at him… he hurt himself worse than he hurt you!"

"Oh yeah," said Steve, "I recognize you too. As I recall, I put you and him in garbage cans together. Are you his girlfriend? If you are, then you're bringing disorder to the universe… he's a geek, and geeks aren't supposed to have girlfriends!"

"I wouldn't call her my girlfriend… this is our first date," said Sam.

"Great start your relationship is having," said Steve. "How many guys get beat up on their first date? You don't see that on The Dating Game very often."

"Nobody here is getting beat up, if I have anything to say about it," said Eddie, who came by to see what was going on with Sam and Jo.

"Why is this your problem?", said Steve. "You've graduated from Hillridge High. You're not part of our community any more; you should leave us to work out our own problems. And the best way to work this one out is for me to give Ronald McDonald here a good whuppin'."

"It's my problem because he's a friend of mine. And he owes me fifteen bucks… if he's in the hospital, I'll have a harder time collecting! If you hurt him, you'll have to answer to me," said Eddie.

"I was just leaving," said Steve. "C'mon, Mary Jo… we were just going to the snack bar for some refreshments." He and his girlfriend left, but as he did, he turned back to Sam and said, "You haven't seen the last of me, Mayor McCheese. Watch your back, and don't forget… 'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun!'"

"So he's gonna buy me a Big Mac?", said Sam. "I'm supposed to be afraid of that?"

"I think that's his inept way of trying to tease you," said Jo. "But I'd be afraid; he's got a lot of power at Hillridge High. He can make things pretty miserable for you."

"Only if you let him," said Eddie. "I didn't let any of those people intimidate me while I was in high school, and you don't have to either. Just stand up for yourself and ignore people like him when they act silly."

"It would be easier to ignore him if he wasn't so much bigger and stronger than me," said Sam.

"He's actually a coward," said Eddie. "Notice that he never actually does anything but talk, unless he has a whole crowd of friends around to back him up. If you have your own crowd of friends, he'll never dare to do anything to you."

"Well, thanks for the help," said Sam. "But I'll have to figure out my own way through all my problems."