Author's Note: All the characters that appear in this chapter are based off of either my friends or myself. Their names have not been changed for their protection (except mine…), and neither have their personalities. God help anyone who reads this and actually knows us.

It was pitch black outside Gabby's house, but Gabby was still awake, her bedroom light shining brightly in the blackness outside. Her fingers flew across the keyboard as she typed a message to the others in the chatroom whom she considered to be extremely annoying.

imatrekkie: Look, one of my friends is a HUGE Star Wars fan and she's OBSESSIVE about Darth Maul. Even SHE doesn't think he's all soft inside.

She paused briefly. Not that this keeps her from writing Maul romance or anything.

She waited for a response. After a moment, an angry reply came up.

mrsmaul: hey there is NOTHING wrong with Maul romance fics even if they are completely and totally unrealistic! and hon you're a Trekkie, what do you know about this anyway?

Gabby shrugged. Admittedly, very little, but still... her friend had suggested a good fanfic on this site, and she couldn't help getting involved in the conversation once she had found it.

imatrekkie: What little I happen to know about Darth Maul is enough to convince me that he's not the romantic type.

mrsmaul: yeah, it wouldn't seem like it, but it's not like he ever talks or anything. look, it's not that I have anything against Trekkies, but they just don't know as much about Darth Maul…

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…as Star Wars fans do, Colken finished. I mean, Star Trek is a great show and all, but it doesn't have Maul in it.

arwensolowhowearskhaki: yeah I think I'm gonna go w/ mrs maul on this one cuz really trekkies are weird I have this Trekkie friend whose really nice but she's kind of a psychopath…

Colken raised an eyebrow as she read the comment.

mrsmaul: your name is interesting Arwen Solo. Han fan?

arwensolowhowearskhaki: OMG MY SMUGGLER IS SO HOTT!

Colken snorted.

mrsmaul: yeah not as hott as Maul, but ok…

arwensolowhowearskahki: I guess it's a matter of taste, but I thinks he's hott. but about maul… I think he's ok although I don't know if he'd be all romantic and stuff… but I do like some maul romance fics because romance…

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…is just so kewl and cute, Hillary typed. And she really did think so. She was a romantic at heart, and even she thought that Maul had some stuff going for him. She waited for some comments to pop up.

imatrekkie: I think all of you are freaks of nature. What's so sexy about horns, anyway?

mrsmaul: well, for starters, they're just so cool and different. And let's not even go into the S&M possibilities…

Hillary laughed long and hard about this comment. She began to type again.

arwensolowhowearskhaki: yay S&M! ok sorry that wuz scary but really maul just has this kind of sense about him that makes him all mysterious and stuff. it's very nice.

mrsmaul: see even the Han fan gets it!

cAnAdIaNlLaMaFaRmEr: Hippos say "looploop."

Hillary stared at the final comment. "What the…?" she muttered.

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Sasha sat and waited for a response to her comment. She thought this entire conversation was total crap and wondered why the heck anybody would even care about such a thing. She, personally, was a vampire fan - to be specific, a Gerard Butler as Dracula in Dracula 2000 fan, but nobody here necessarily had to know that. Sasha wasn't even sure how she'd stumbled onto the site. She thought somebody had the name gerrybsgurl, but she hadn't seen anyone named that yet. Perhaps they'd been intelligent enough to find a better online chatroom.

A comment appeared on her screen.

arwensolowhowearskhaki: ummm ok… that was werd

mrsmaul: I take it you have no clue what we're talking about.

Sasha rolled her eyes and typed, not really, and I honestly don't care much either.

Despite this interruption the conversation continued.

anakin'sastooge: I think you guys are all CRAZY. I mean Darth Maul…

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… is a really nasty bad guy who killed qui-gon! Katie finished typing, feeling angry at this whole conversation. People could be so stupid sometimes.

maulslover: oh a stupid QUI-GON fan.

mrsmaul: I have nothing against Qui-Gon or his fans but Darth Maul just has something going for him that they don't… I don't know.

Katie began clacking away on her keyboard. Obi-Wan's pretty hot.

mrsmaul: he doesn't have a sexy voice like Maul does though. I hear that voice and I totally melt! (swoons)

maulslover: lol mrs.maul I so no what u mean!

imatrekkie: I'm sorry, but that's sad.

cAnAdIaNlLaMaFaRmEr: yeah I agree with trekkie chick here

Katie nodded fervently, although none of her online conversation companions could see it. Me too.

arwensolowhowearskhaki: well I can see it but I don't nececarily agree w/ it. but palpatine is kewl.

It was almost funny how the entire room erupted at that.

mrsmaul: PALPATINE? ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS???????

maulslover: OMG HE TOTALLY ABUSES MAUL DON'T U THINK THAT'S SICK! U R A SICK SICK SICK SICK PERSON AND I HATE U! GO AWAY TO WHATEVER SCARY PLACE U CAME FROM FREEK!

luvshornyguys: Wow I was gonna sit this one out but that's just weird I think u need serious mental help

imatrekkie: Okay, even I think that's more than a little twisted, Arwen Solo.

anakin'sastooge: If it's possible, Palpatine's worse than Maul! I can't believe you like Han, too!

cAnAdIaNlLaMaFaRmEr: ummmm… llama?

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And the conversation went on long into the night, monitored by the very man they had been discussing in such a sacrilegious fashion.