Equivalent Exchange
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.
Pairing: EdxWinry
What have I gotten, where have my losses gotten me? I seem to be going down an endless hole, and the more I climb, the farther I fall. Is it even worth it?
Edward rolled over and stared at his slumbering brother, or what you would call sleep. Souls didn't need rest, so it was more like drifting into a dream state for a while, Alphonse had told him himself. Ed gave a frustrated sigh and ran his hands over his eyes, rubbing them furiously to keep the relentless headache at bay. The veterans was still bothering him as he rubbed the bare port, Winry was still working on his arm. He had no idea what Winry would have done to him if he had lost his leg too.
Just another thing to add to the list of losses.
Edward glared at the ceiling. Some would say he had hit bottom, but he knew the bottom was still further away as he fell from grace. What had he done to deserve this? Maybe he played in the mud too much when he was little, talked back too much, but to merit losing his mother? Where was the exchange? Where was the equality in childish mistakes?
I must have done something terrible…
But he knew what he was paying for now. He had defied God, tried to create life. And he ruined a life that was not even his. His brother paid the worst price of all.
If only I had listened to him. Then we wouldn't be here!
Alphonse had become deprived of smell, touch, taste. He could only see, and hear. And it was his fault. The pain he bore was to be equivalent, and he suspected he would pay, and continue till the end of his days.
"Brother, are you still bothered about what the veteran said to you?" Alphonse's voice seemed to echo in the silence of the room.
Edward let out a hoarse laugh, rubbing his brow. "When did you figure out I was awake?"
"You were tossing around too much. Brother, why are you bothered so much? You never told me what the man said." Alphonse got up and sat next to Edward's bed, the white light of his eyes seeming to suggest he was worried through the steel façade.
"Al, what have we gained? All of this work; we've given up so much, where is the equivalent exchange? All I see is us hurting, we get nothing in return!" The last sentence Edward shouted, his eye brows furrowing together and hidden curses to God seething with the air as he hissed with anger.
"Well Brother, it's not all about us. But we do get things in return. Like the smiles of people we have helped, the fond memories we have. I'm happy Brother, really happy. I know I have seen terrible things, and not having a body hurts sometimes, but I'm happy. I'm glad we've met everyone we have, even if it was only a short time. The memories Brother, that is what we gain." Alphonse looked at his older brother, who was staring at the ceiling deep in thought. "And you have Winry, don't think I haven't noticed." At his the elder Elric shot up from his bed, his face beet red.
"I don't like Winry! She's a non-attractive, stupid, annoying mechanical geek!" He crossed his arms him frustration, looking away from his snickering brother.
"You don't mean that Brother, I know you don't. You've liked Winry ever since we were little." Alphonse's wise gaze cracked through Edward's stubborn attitude, causing him to sigh.
"Whatever Al, I'm going-"
"To see Winry." Al said smartly, another snicker emanating through his hollow body.
"For. A. Walk." Edward glared at his younger brother, and marched out of the room, his face still red. He slowed down once he reached the hallway, peeking into the workshop expecting to see Winry slaving over his new arm like the maniac perfectionist she was. But the room was empty, the wrench lying beside the old doll that laid silently next to Al and Ed's small metal dogs. His face fell, remembering the day her parents died. He swore to get back at whoever killed them, but Marco had not bothered to mention the officers' name when he had told him they had killed the Rockbells. But he suspected it was Roy, no, he knew. Either that or the colonel had seen it happen, his reaction had been too much like the time he lied about knowing Dr. Marco. He closed the door and walked down the stairs to the outside, the cool breeze making him shiver. He walked out on to the cool grass, the night silently whispering or dark sins. He walked over to the stone wall on the edge of the property and sat, consumed quickly by his own thoughts.
A tap on the shoulder brought him from his revere, only to meet the blue eyes.
"W-w-w-Winry! Where did you come from?" He started to fall backwards but Winry's firm hand caught him, quickly grabbing him into a deep hug. Edward sat; staring shocked at the mechanic that seemed like she was holding on for her life.
"Winry, my ribs are starting to hurt…" He said softly, rubbing her back to comfort her. Wet tears began to seep through the dark fabric of his shirt, as she silently cried.
"It is… seven years today Ed. It hurts…" Edward sat straighter, realizing exactly what she meant. "Don't pull away… please Ed. Am I that disgusting?"
"Don't say such stupid things." He retorted, his only arm returning to her back. His black tank top was clenched in her fists, as she buried her head deeper into his collar bone. He sat and comforted her, whispering softly into her ear kind words and quiet encouragement. Suddenly something wetter then tears was caressing his collar bone, causing him to jerk up again. Winry's grip never faltered though, and she pulled him closer, her kisses becoming more passionate and making him unknowingly moan in approval.
What is Winry doing to me! I can't move… I don't want to…
His left hand wandered to her blonde hair, his fingers tangling in the silken streams, while his logic screamed at his hands, desperately trying to regain control of his body. Winry let out a soft gasp of pain when his hand clenched her hair that was now thoroughly tangled in his fingers, but she continued to kiss his collar bone, as Edward let out small sighs of approval.
Winry was the one to pull away, wincing because of his fingers that were still tangled in her hair. Her face was red even in the moon light, her eyes still wet with tears.
"I'm so sorry Ed, I mean, I must be such a wimp, and then I start, well you know, I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me. It's okay if you don't feel the same way, I understand, I'm the grease monkey mechanic…" She continued to blabber on, unknown tears dripping down her cheeks as she desperately messed with the hem of her skirt.
Ed sat, staring at her frame in the moon light.
So, Al was right, I suppose.
He continued to watch her, his heart furiously beating in his chest as he felt the heat rise in his cheeks.
She's beautiful.
"You're worth it." He said with a smile, leaning in and giving her a short peck on the lips. Winry just sat shocked, blinking multiple times before she noticed he was heading back to the house.
"Ed! What do you mean? I'm worth what? Ed, get back here!" Winry stormed up behind him, Ed chuckling to himself as he walked on to the steps of the porch.
"Are you going to finish my arm or not? Getting lazy?" The alchemist ignored her screams and walked in the house, glancing around the house for a hiding place. He was going to need one.
END
Authors Note: I just saw the 4th DVD, so I got the FMA bug. This one is anime-centric, but I have read up to Volume 10 in the manga, so it may switch between the two from time to time. The manga is so good… I cried when Hughes dies, it so sad! sob Well, time for fan mail!
Concetta: Thank you! I take pride in writing only heterosexual pairings, slash just doesn't work. It's out of character, and it perverts perfectly straight relationships. Like Elricsest. Can't you love a sibling and not sleep with them! Jeez… I seriously want to slaughter them.
C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only: Winry isn't that bed-happy, I planned to leave it to the reader's imagination though. But considering they just admitted their feelings for one another, I don't think they would move that fast. Winry didn't mean she would literally rape him.
Meika-chan: I may write a sequel, but I probably won't post it, it would have to be requested. So if I do I'll notify you readers in my AN's.
pandarocks: Well, I leave it to the reader's imagination.
Kiyuu-Chan: Sure! In fact, seeing your request got me researching and I found the FMA scanlations. I'm a fan too, so I will write one sometime in the near future. YAY FOR FRATERNISATION!
And thank you to all my other fans! You keep me going! I love you guys!
Wearer of the Viking hat,
Gabby the Great